ANTHONY 

THE 
ABSOLUTE 


SAMUEL  MERWIN 


ANTH  ONY 

THE  ABSOLUTE 


Heloise 


ANTHONY 
THE  ABSOLUTE 


BY 


SAMUEL  MERWIN 

Author   of  "The  Citadel,"  etc. 


ILLUSTRATED  BY 

R.   M.   CROSBY 


NEW  YORK 

THE  CENTURY  CO. 

1914 


Copyright,  1914,  by 
THE  CENTURY  Co. 


Copyright,  1913,  1914,  by 
THE  HI-CLURE  PUBLICATIONS,  INC. 


Published,  February,  1914. 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 

Heloise Frontispiece 

PAGE 
"  It  was  quite  unavoidable,"  he  said     ...     45 

We  leaned  on  the  railing  and  breathed  in  the 

sweet  April  air 129 

It  was  Heloise's  bill  for  two  weeks  .  .  .  .177 
He  reached  out  and  tipped  that  convenient  bottle  227 
Standing  motionless,  he  brought  out  his  knife  .  265 

"  Oh,  Anthony,  are  you  hurt  ?  " 273 

"  Get  out,"  I  said 295 

"  Do  we  have  to  go  right  on,  up  to  the  last 
minute,  Anthony,  being  so  dreadfully 
casual  ?  " 345 


2137584   * 


ANTHONY 

THE  ABSOLUTE 


ANTHONY 

THE  ABSOLUTE 

At  Sea  —  March  28th. 

THIS  evening  I  told  Sir  Robert  What  's-His- 
Name  he  was  a  fool. 

I  was  quite  right  in  this.     He  is. 

Every  evening  since  the  ship  left  Vancouver  he 
has  presided  over  the  round  table  in  the  middle  of 
the  smoking-room.  There  he  sips  his  coffee  and 
liqueur,  and  holds  forth  on  every  subject  known  to 
the  mind  of  man.  Each  subject  is  his  subject. 
He  is  an  elderly  person,  with  a  bad  face  and  a 
drooping  left  eyelid.  He  wears  a  monocle;  and 
carries  his  handkerchief  in  his  left  sleeve. 

They  tell  me  that  he  is  in  the  British  Service  — 
a  judge  somewhere  down  in  Malaysia,  where  they 
drink  more  than  is  good  for  them.  I  believe  it. 
He  tosses  about  his  obiter  dicta  as  if  he  were  pope 
of  the  human  intellect.  A  garrulous  pope.  Surely 
the  mind  of  a  judge,  when  exposed,  is  a  dreadful 
thing ! 

3 


Go  where  I  will,  of  an  evening,  there  is  no  peace 
for  me.  In  the  "  social  hall "  some  ungoverned 
young  thing  is  eternally  at  the  piano  — "  On  the 
Mississippi "  and  "  The  Robert  E.  Lee  "  and  the 
other  musical  literature  of  the  turkey  trot.  I  could 
not  possibly  sit  five  minutes  there  without  shriek- 
ing. Outside,  on  deck,  it  has  been  raw  and  chill 
for  a  week,  with  rain  penetrating  my  clothing  and 
misting  the  lenses  of  my  spectacles  and  rousing  my 
slumbering  rheumatism.  And  you  can  not  sit 
long  in  a  stuffy  cabin,  with  the  port  screwed  fast ; 
it  is  unpleasant  enough  sleeping  there.  ...  So  I 
have  huddled  myself  each  night  in  a  corner  of  the 
smoking-room.  I  have  played  at  dominoes.  I 
have  played  at  solitaire  with  cards.  And  I  loathe 
games!  But  anything  is  a  relief  that  will  divert 
my  mind,  even  for  an  instant  now  and  then,  from 
thoughts  of  that  loose,  throaty  voice,  and  of  the 
truly  awful  mind  that  animates  it. 

Few  of  the  passengers  ever  give  me  more  than 
a  nod;  for  I  am  not  what  is  called  a  "mixer." 
Except  the  Port  Watch.  He  has  looked  confid- 
ingly at  me  twice  over  his  siphon.  But  I  have  not 
encouraged  him,  for  he  has  an  over-intense  eye 
and  the  flush  of  drink  is  on  his  cheek.  Every  day, 
hours  on  end,  he  paces  the  deck;  hence  his  nick- 

4 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

name.  He  is,  like  myself,  a  lonely  man ;  and  a 
little  wild  —  distinctly  a  little  wild. 

Sir  Robert  outdid  himself  this  evening.  No 
man  could  possibly  know  so  much.  I  have  made  a 
list  (not  complete,  of  course)  of  the  subjects  on 
which  he  speaks  with  dogmatic  authority  —  very 
positive,  very  technical,  with  a  glib  use  of  catch 
phrases,  with  emphasis  always  on  the  peculiarly 
significant  point  in  the  matter.  The  list  runs: 

Aeronautics;  the  American  temperament  as  af- 
fected by  immigration;  archery;  art;  ballistics; 
dog-breeding;  engineering  (civil  and  military)  ; 
ethnology ;  folk-lore  of  all  nations ;  geology ;  horti- 
culture; inferiority  of  Latin  peoples  (particularly 
the  French)  ;  laces  and  embroideries;  modern  ac- 
counting; navigation  (\vhich  he  explained  last 
night  in  detail  to  the  Chief  Officer,  a  silent  per- 
son) ;  psychology  (all  branches)  ;  Roman  law ;  rugs 
(and  textiles  generally)  ;  Weltpolitik;  wireless  te- 
legraphy ;  and,  at  all  times  and  places,  the  glory  of 
England  and  the  superiority  of  English  blood. 

This  evening  he  was  dismissing,  with  a  torrent 
of  apparently  precise  ethnological  and  historical 
data,  the  recent  Japanese  pretension  to  Aryan 
origin  —  doubtless  for  the  benefit  of  that  little 
Japanese  commercial  agent  with  bad  teeth  who  sat 

5 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

in  the  corner  opposite  me  working  out  problems  on 
a  go-board.  The  usual  group  of  weak-minded  per- 
sons were  sitting  about  Sir  Robert's  table,  listen- 
ing with  the  usual  awe. 

Now,  I  rather  like  that  Japanese.  Only  this 
morning  he  was  so  kind  as  to  sing  several  examples 
of  the  folk-song  of  his  country  into  my  phono- 
graph. Five  records  he  gave  me,  so  that  my  work 
is  begun  even  before  we  land.  Excellent  speci- 
mens, two  of  them,  of  the  Oriental  tone  sense,  with 
observably  different  intervals  for  the  ascending  and 
descending  scales. 

He  exhibited  no  sign  that  Sir  Robert's  talk  an- 
noyed him ;  quietly  went  on  placing  the  little  black 
and  white  shells  on  the  board.  (It  is  interesting 
to  note,  at  this  point,  that  the  Japanese  handle  small 
objects  with  the  first  three  fingers  only,  without 
employing  the  thumb  as  we  do.)  But  I  felt  my- 
self becoming  angry.  My  forehead  grew  hot  and 
flushed,  as  it  always  does  when  I  am  stirred.  I 
tried  to  calm  myself  by  constructing  a  house  of 
dominoes ;  but  the  pitching  of  the  ship  overturned 
it. 

Still  that  throaty  voice.  "Thank  God,"  I 
thought,  "  in  another  day  we  shall  be  at  Yoko- 
hama!" 

I  tried  to  read  a  four- weeks-old  copy  of  the 
6 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Illustrated  London  News.  No  use ;  the  voice  held 
me. 

It  occurred  to  me,  as  an  exercise  in  self-control, 
to  interest  myself  in  speculating  on  the  emotions 
and  the  characteristics  back  of  the  faces  here  in 
the  smoking-room.  I  achieved  some  success  at 
this  exercise.  Why,  when  you  come  to  think  of  it, 
should  each  particular  unit  in  this  haphazard  as- 
semblage of  men  and  women  be  journeying  away 
off  here  to  the  other  side  of  the  earth?  There 
are  surely  dramas  in  our  little  company.  The  two 
middle-aged  ladies  with  the  firm  chins,  for  in- 
stance, who  dress  so  quietly  and  speak  so  dis- 
creetly —  it  is  whispered  among  the  men  that  they 
are  high  and  prosperous  in  a  sad  business  on  Soo- 
chow  Road,  Shanghai.  And  the  young  German 
adventurer  with  the  scars  across  his  nose,  who 
borrowed  fifteen  dollars  from  me,  to  be  repaid 
when  we  land  at  Yokohama  —  if  he  approaches 
me  again  I  shall  refuse  him  firmly.  And  the  fat 
vaudeville  manager  from  Cincinnati,  who  plays 
fan-tan  every  night  with  a  heap  of  Chinese  brass 
cash  and  a  bowl  borrowed  from  the  ship's  dining- 
room! 

As  I  mused,  I  felt  the  Port  Watch  gazing  at  me 
again  over  his  siphon.  I  believe  he  would  pour 
out  his  story,  were  I  to  permit  it.  But  I  do  not 

7 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

choose  to  hear.  After  all,  I  am  not  a  romancer, 
but  a  scientific  man.  My  concern  is  not  with  the 
curious  and  personal  tangle  of  human  affairs,  but 
with  impersonal  fact  and  sober  deductions  there- 
from. 

Sir  Robert  was  now  defining  culture  as  the 
touchstone  of  civilization  —  from  the  British  point 
of  view,  of  course.  God,  that  voice !  And  then, 
without  a  thought  in  my  head  as  to  where 
the  talk  was  leading  —  suddenly  —  he  plumped 
squarely  down  on  my  subject.  It  was  the  first 
time  in  the  twelve  days  of  our  voyage.  Until 
this  moment,  the  tribal  god  referred  to  in  his  na- 
tional anthem  had  spared  him.  My  subject!  The 
one  thing  I  know  more  about  than  any  other  hu- 
man being.  I  had  him. 

"The  surest  test  of  the  culture  of  a  people," 
said  he,  ex  cathedra,  "  is  the  music  of  that  people. 
Primitive  races  invariably  express  their  emotions 
in  primitive  music.  They  try  to  tell  me  that  the 
Chinese  are  a  civilized  people.  *  Very  well/  I  say 
then;  'let  me  hear  their  music.'  No  nation  has 
progressed  far  along  the  great  highroad  of  civili- 
zation without  coming  into  an  understanding  of  the 
diatonic  system.  The  Chinese  civilized?  When 
their  finest  musical  instrument  is  the  little  sheng, 
a  crude  collection  of  twelve  pipes  that  are  not  even 

8 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

in  tune  ?  When  they  have  failed  to  arrive  at  even 
a  rudimentary  perception  of  tonality  and  scale  re- 
lationships? No;  I  tell  you,  the  Chinese  civili- 
zation is  to  the  European  as  the  little  sheng  is  to 
the  grand  piano.  The  piano,  on  which  all  scales 
are  related,  all  harmonies  possible,  is  the  supreme 
artistic  achievement  of  the  highest  civilization." 

This  was  enough.  I  got  right  up  and  went  over 
to  the  round  table.  My  forehead  was  burning; 
I  must  have  been  red  as  fire. 

"  You  do  not  know  what  you  are  talking  about," 
I  cried  out.  I  had  to  lean  over  the  shoulder  of 
one  of  the  weak-minded  in  order  to  catch  Sir 
Robert's  eye.  "  It  is  the  piano  that  has  killed 
music  in  Europe!  The  piano  is  a  lie  from  end 
to  end  of  the  keyboard.  Bach  confirmed  that  lie 
with  his  miserable  triumph  of  the  well-tempered 
clavichord.  And  in  finally  fastening  his  false  scale 
upon  us  he  destroyed  in  us  the  fine  ear  for  true 
intervals  that  is  to-day  found  only  in  your  prim- 
itive peoples.  The  Chinese  have  it.  The  Javanese 
have  it.  The  Siamese,  most  wonderful  of  all, 
have  a  true  isotonic  scale.  But  we  of  the  cultured 
West  (I  put  a  wonderful  sneering  emphasis  on  that 
word)  can  not  even  hear  true  fluid  music  to-day, 
because  our  tone  perception  goes  no  farther  than 
the  barbarous  mechanical  compromise  of  the  piano 

9 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

keyboard.  You  do  not  know  what  you  are  talk- 
ing about.  You  are  a  fool !  " 

When  I  am  excited  my  voice  rises  and  becomes 
shrill.  I  talked  rapidly,  so  that  no  one  could  in- 
terrupt. And  the  weak-minded  ones  sank  back 
in  their  chairs.  They  were  actually  afraid,  I 
think  now.  In  fact,  when  I  paused  the  whole 
smoking-room  was  still  as  death. 

I  swept  my  eye  about  —  commandingly,  I  think. 
The  fat  vaudeville  man  —  he  sat  behind  Sir  Robert 
—  was  grinning  at  me  with  delight  in  his  eyes, 
and  was  softly  clapping  his  hands  behind  the  fan- 
tan  bowl.  The  Port  Watch  with  red  face  and 
suddenly  twinkling  eyes,  had  clapped  his  hand  over 
his  mouth  as  if  to  smother  an  outright  laugh. 
Sir  Robert  was  looking  up  at  me,  his  left  eyelid 
drooping,  a  sort  of  perplexed  uncertainty  on 
his  face  —  his  old  face  that  was  all  lines  and 
wrinkles. 

Now  that  I  had  the  floor,  it  seemed  worth  while 
to  make  a  thorough  job  of  it,  so  I  swept  on : 

"  You  make  the  piano  the  test  of  civilization. 
Greece  had  a  civilization  —  where  were  the  pianos 
of  Greece?  Oh,  I  am  tired  of  your  talk.  I  have 
listened  to  you  for  twelve  long  days  and  nights. 
I  have  suspected  your  accuracy,  but  I  could  not 
be  sure,  for  you  luckily  avoided  my  subject.  But 

10 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

now  I  have  you!  And  I  know  you  for  a  fraud 
on  all  subjects!  I  see  confusion  in  your  face. 
You  are  groping  for  something  to  say  about  the 
music  of  Greece.  Very  well ;  I  will  say  it  for  you. 
The  Greeks  had  no  piano,  because  they  had  no 
harmony.  They  did  not  know  that  harmony  was 
possible.  And  if  they  had  heard  it,  they  would 
not  have  liked  it." 

"  Ah,"  cried  Sir  Robert,  flushing  under  the 
parchment  of  his  skin,  and  (I  must  say)  taking 
up  the  gage  of  battle,  "  but  Greece  gave  us  our 
diatonic  system.  The  root  of  our  scale,  the 
tetrachord,  came  to  us  from  the  Greeks." 

I  laughed  him  down.  "  The  intervals  of  that 
Greek  tetrachord  were  not  the  same  as  ours.  They 
used  intervals  that  actually  can  not  be  written  in 
our  notation  —  three  quarter  tones,  one  and  a 
quarter  tones.  Pythagoras  states,  *  The  intervals 
in  music  are  rather  to  be  judged  intellectually 
through  numbers  than  sensibly  through  the  ear.' 
For  they  followed  the  acoustic  laws,  like  the 
Chinese!  The  fragments  we  have  of  the  worship 
of  Apollo  are  more  nearly  like  the  ancient  Con- 
fucian hymn  than  like  anything  known  in  modern 
music.  Tell  me,  sir,  did  you  know  that?  And 
tell  me  this  —  does  not  the  quality  you  call  '  cul- 
ture '  imply  that  we  should  seek  sympathetically  for 

ii 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  standpoint  of  other  minds?  Has  it  never  oc- 
curred to  you  that  when  Oriental  music  sounds 
absurd  and  out  of  key  to  you,  it  is  your  own 
ear  that  is  at  fault  —  that  the  intervals  are  too 
fine  and  true  for  your  false,  piano-trained  sense? 
For  such  is  the  fact." 

I  was  shaking  my  finger  under  his  nose,  so 
closely  that  he  had  to  lean  back. 

"  And  I  will  tell  you,"  I  added,  standing  right 
over  him,  "that  the  Chinese  sheng  has  seventeen 
pipes,  not  twelve." 

"  Ah,"  he  broke  in,  "  but  the  other  pipes  are 
mute." 

"  Two  are  mute,"  I  replied  triumphantly.  "  And 
two  are  duplicates  of  others.  The  correct  number 
of  speaking  pipes  is  fifteen." 

His  eyes  were  kindling  now.  "  See  here!  "  he 
cried.  "  Who  and  what  are  you  ?  " 

"  I  am  a  banker !  "  I  shouted  —  the  first  thing 
that  came  to  my  tongue.  Then  I  turned  and 
walked  straight  out  on  deck.  It  was  precisely  the 
moment  for  leaving;  even  the  weak-minded  could 
see  that  their  oracle  was  tripped.  Besides,  I  had 
to  be  alone.  For  I  was  breaking  into  a  profuse 
sweat.  The  drops  were  running  down  my  fore- 
head into  my  eyes  and  clouding  my  spectacles;  I 
had  to  take  them  off  and  carry  them  in  my  hand. 

12 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

My  under  lip  was  quivering  so  that  my  teeth  chat- 
tered. And  my  heart  was  palpitating,  and  skip- 
ping beats. 

It  was  wet  and  wild  and  dark  out  there  on  deck ; 
but  in  my  intense  moods  I  like  the  rough,  elemental 
thing. 

I  stood  right  up  to  the  storm,  clinging  to  the 
weather-rail.  The  ship  rolled  away  down,  then 
away  up,  until  I  could  see  only  the  dim,  scurrying 
clouds.  The  rain  beat  into  my  face.  I  felt  happy, 
in  a  way. 

A  hand  came  down  on  my  shoulder.  I  sprang 
away,  and  turned.  I  dislike  exceedingly  to  have 
any  one  lay  hands  on  me. 

It  was  the  Port  Watch.  He  had  put  on  a  long 
raincoat,  and  a  cap  that  was  pulled  low  on  his 
forehead.  Under  it  I  could  see  his  eyes  shining 
in  a  nervous,  excited  way.  He  certainly  is  a  wild 
man,  if  there  ever  was  one.  But  then  I  saw  that 
he  was  grinning  at  me,  and  felt  relieved. 

"  You  sure  did  hand  it  to  the  old  cock,"  he  said, 
shouting  against  the  storm.  "  It  was  great.  I 
don't  know  a  dam'  thing  about  music.  But  I  know 
when  a  bluff  is  called.  He  's  gone  below."  t 

"  Well,"  said  I,  for  there  was  no  need  of  being 
uncivil  to  the  man,  "  I  got  sick  of  his  voice.  And 
then,  he  was  wrong." 

13 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  Any  one  could  see  that,"  chuckled  the  Port 
Watch. 

We  walked  around  together  to  the  lee  side  of 
the  ship,  so  that  he  could  light  a  cigar.  And 
while  I  did  not  like  his  taking  my  arm,  still  he 
seems  to  be  a  decent  fellow  enough,  after  all.  We 
exchanged  cards.  He  is  connected  with  a  Stock 
Exchange  house  in  New  York.  He  is  a  big, 
vigorous  man,  surely  not  past  his  middle  thirties. 
I  rather  envy  him  his  strength,  I  am  so  thin  and 
frail  myself.  He  is  one  of  those  who  know  noth- 
ing of  what  we  weaker  ones  go  through  who  have 
to  husband  our  energies.  A  rather  primitive  per- 
son, I  should  say.  He  occupies  one  of  the  high- 
priced  cabins  on  the  promenade-deck,  with  a 
private  bath.  It  must  be  pleasant  to  travel  that 
way. 

When  we  parted  at  the  after  stairway,  I  said: 

"  I  did  n't  think  I  should  like  you.  Shall  I  tell 
you  why?  " 

"  Yes,"'  said  he. 

"  Because  you  drink  too  much." 

At  this  he  stood  still,  his  hands  plunged  into  the 
pockets  of  h-is  raincoat,  chewing  his  under  lip. 
Finally  he  said,  with  a  break  in  his  voice : 

'  You  're  right  there.  I  am  drinking  too  much. 
But  —  God,  if  you  knew!  " 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Then,  without  so  much  as  a  good  night,  he 
plunged  off  down  the  passage  toward  that  comfort- 
able room  of  his,  with  bath.  And  I  went  below 
to  my  stuffy  cabin,  where  the  port  has  been  screwed 
fast  for  a  week. 

His  name  is  Crocker,  Archibald  Crocker,  Jr., 
son  of  the  well-known  and,  truth  to  tell,  rather 
infamous  millionaire  and  manipulator  of  stocks. 
Our  worlds  lie  wide  apart,  his  and  mine.  I  re- 
alized that  much  when  he  looked  at  my  card.  The 
name  of  Anthony  Ives  Eckhart  conveyed  nothing 
to  him  —  the  name  that  is  known  and  respected 
by  Boag  and  the  great  von  Stumbostel  of  Berlin, 
by  de  Musseau,  Ramel,  and  Fourmont  at  Paris, 
by  Sir  Frederick  Rhodes  of  Cambridge;  the  name 
that  spells  anathema  to  that  snarling  charlatan, 
von  Westfall,  of  Bonn. 

Crocker  has  offered  to  guide  me  through 
the  Yoshiwara  district  at  Yokohama  to-morrow 
evening.  He  says  that  the  music  will  interest 
me. 

I  think  I  shall  go  with  him.  He  says  that  every 
traveled  white  man  in  the  world  has  been  to 
"  Number  Nine  " —  that  it  is  a  legitimate,  even 
necessary  part  of  a  man's  experience.  Certainly 
I  do  not  wish  to  appear  unmanly. 

My  room  proved  intolerable,  and  I  was  still  too 
15 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

excited  to  rest;  so  I  came  back  to  the  deserted 
smoking-room  to  write  up  my  journal. 

It  is  very  late.  The  steward  is  hovering  anx- 
iously about,  yawning  now  and  then.  I  may  as 
well  let  the  poor  fellow  get  to  his  berth.  God 
knows,  he  sees  little  enough  of  it. 

But  first  I  will  have  him  fetch  me  a  mug  of 
their  wonderful  English  stout  I  find  that  this  is 
even  better  than  ale  for  inducing  sleep.  At  least, 
in  my  own  case. 


16 


Yokohama,  Grand  Hotel,  March  2$th. 

IT  was  past  three  o'clock  to-day  when  the  ship 
came  to  anchor  and  the  steam  tender  brought 
us  ashore.  It  interested  me  to  see  the  rickshaws 
with  their  bare-legged  coolies.  By  the  time  we 
had  ridden  along  the  Bund  to  the  hotel  and  secured 
our  rooms  it  was  four  o'clock.  We  went  down  to 
the  "  lounge,"  Crocker  and  I,  and  had  tea  brought 
in.  Or  I  did.  He  drank  a  whisky  and  Tan  San. 
Then  pretty  soon  he  drank  another. 

Several  couples  from  the  ship  were  about,  but 
not  many  of  the  men  who  were  traveling  alone. 

"  Where  are  they  all  ?  "  I  asked. 

"Who?"  said  he. 

"  The  men  from  the  ship.  Have  they  gone 
to  other  hotels?" 

"  Some  of  them  —  perhaps,"  he  replied.  Then 
he  looked  away  and  smiled. 

Sometimes,  when  I  talk  with  a  hard,  practical 
man  of  the  world,  I  find  myself  feeling  vaguely 
out  of  it  all.  My  life,  devoted  as  it  is  to  the  dis- 
covery and  classification  of  facts,  is  certainly  a 
practical  life;  yet  I  seem  to  dwell  aside  from  the 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

main  current.  I  do  not  quite  catch  the  point  of 
view  of  a  rough-handed  rich  man  like  Crocker. 
And  when  I  speak  my  mind,  as  I  always  endeavor 
to  do,  men  do  not  resent  it.  I  do  not  understand 
this.  Come  to  think  of  it,  I  was  decidedly  out- 
spoken last  night  with  Sir  Robert.  He  should 
have  struck  me ;  at  least,  he  should  have  exhibited 
some  anger.  He  would  have  struck  Crocker,  I 
think,  in  such  a  case  —  or  jailed  him  for  contempt. 

We  lingered  nearly  an  hour  over  our  tea  and 
whisky.  The  experience  was  wholly  new  to  me  — 
comfortably  seated  in  a  large  European  hotel,  with 
English  folk  and  Americans  all  about,  and  yet 
with  Japanese  servants,  and  yellow,  shrewd  little 
Oriental  faces  behind  the  desk,  and  a  Chinese 
cashier  in  a  blue  robe,  and  Chinese  tailors  pressing 
in  on  one,  samples  on  arm,  offering  to  make  suits 
of  clothes  overnight.  And  out  the  window,  float- 
ing about  the  glittering  harbor,  sampans  and  a 
great  Chinese  junk  or  two,  and  the  fleet  of  fishing- 
boats  with  ribbed  sails  just  skimming  in  between 
the  breakwaters.  We  were  the  West,  we  and  our 
absurdly  Anglo-Saxon  hotel ;  but  all  about  us  were 
hints  and  flavors  of  the  eternal  East. 

Suddenly  I  realized  that  Crocker  had  been  for 
quite  a  little  time  twisting  restlessly  in  his  arm- 
chair. I  looked  at  him  now.  He  was  tapping  the 


carpet  softly  but  very  rapidly  with  his  right  foot, 
and  rubbing  his  chin  with  his  hand.  Crocker's 
chin  is  of  good  size  and  shape,  the  sort  we  usually 
speak  of  as  "  strong."  He  is  a  dark  man,  in- 
clined to  fullness  in  the  face  and  figure,  but  still 
athletic  in  appearance.  His  eyes  are  brown.  He 
is  not  at  all  a  bad-looking  fellow,  when  you  study 
him  out.  I  rather  like  the  blend  in  him  of  vigor, 
and  perhaps  stubbornness,  with  frankness.  I 
should  say  that  apart  from  the  abnormal  experi- 
ences, whatever  they  may  be,  that  have  driven  or 
drawn  him  to  this  part  of  the  world,  he  is  a  man 
of  will  and  spirit.  He  would  fight,  I  think,  in  a 
pinch.  When  fully  himself,  in  his  own  home  and 
business  environment,  he  must  be  a  man's  man. 
He  is  nearly  a  head  taller  than  I. 

He  caught  me  looking  at  him,  and  smiled. 

"  Well,"  said  he,  "  shall  we  go  along?  " 

"Where?" 

"  On  that  little  expedition  we  spoke  of  last 
night." 

"  Oh !  "  I  remembered  now.  "  But  —  is  n't  it 
—  do  we  want  to  go  to  such  a  place  now  —  in  the 
day-time?  " 

He  raised  his  eyebrows.  "  You  old  sybarite !  " 
he  chuckled,  and  hummed,  "  Et  la  nuit,  tous  les 
chats  sont  gris! "  Then  he  added,  more  seriously : 

19 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  But  really,  Eckhart,  three  ships  are  in  to-day  — 
the  Pacific  Mail  and  the  French  liner  besides  ours 
—  and  if  we  wait  until  evening  we  shall  have  no 
choice  at  all." 

"  Very  well,"  said  I  then,  briskly,  for  I  do  not 
like  to  be  ridiculed.  "  Just  wait  until  I  can  get 
my  phonograph." 

"  Your  what?  "  said  he. 

"  My  phonograph,"  I  repeated,  with  dignity. 
And  I  went  upstairs  for  ft. 

When  I  came  down,  with  the  heavy  instrument 
in  its  case  under  one  arm  and  a  box  of  new  record 
cylinders  under  the  other,  he  was  not  in  the 
lounge.  I  passed  on  out  to  the  porch,  and  found 
him  there  with  two  rickshaws  waiting.  When  he 
saw  me  with  my  heavy  burdens,  he  began  laugh- 
ing in  that  nervous,  jumpy  way  he  has.  But  I 
ignored  him,  and  placed  the  boxes  carefully  in  my 
rickshaw.  We  were  about  to  start  when  I  re- 
alized that  I  had  forgotten  my  record-taking  horn, 
so  I  went  back  for  it. 

"  Look  here,  old  man,"  said  Crocker,  from  his 
rickshaw,  when  I  reappeared,  "  it 's  all  right,  of 
course, —  I  don't  mind, —  but  what  on  earth  are 
you  bringing  all  that  junk  for  ?  " 

;'  You  were  so  good  as  to  explain  that  I  would 
find  the  music  interesting,"  I  replied.  "  You 

20 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

surely  don't  suppose  that  I  trust  my  ear  in  this  deli- 
cate research  work.  Why,  my  dear  fellow,  in 
my  studies  of  our  American  Indian  songs  I  have 
succeeded  in  recording  intervals  as  close  as  the 
sixteenth  part  of  a  tone." 

He  was  still  grinning.  "  All  right,"  he  said ; 
"  don't  get  stuffy.  I  '11  be  good.  Hop  into  your 
rickshaw." 

I  did  so.  The  coolies  turned  for  directions. 
Crocker  was  about  to  give  them  when  two  of  our 
fellow  passengers,  accompanied  by  their  wives, 
stepped  out  of  the  hotel.  Crocker  waited,  and  we 
sat  thefe,  looking  rather  foolish,  until  they  had 
passed  on  out  of  ear-shot ;  then  he  leaned  forward 
and  said  in  a  low  voice: 

"  Number  Nine." 

"  Heh !  "  cried  the  two  coolies  instantly,  as  one 
man,  and  wheeling  about  they  ran  the  little  vehicles 
out  of  the  court  and  into  the  street. 

I  must  admit  that  my  first  impression  of  the 
Yokohama  streets  was  rather  disappointing  — 
that  is,  until  we  turned  a  corner  unexpectedly  and 
entered  the  Yoshiwara  district.  The  streets  were 
much  more  like  England  than  the  Japan  of  my 
fancy.  Crocker  tells  me  that  Yokohama  was  built 
up  as  a  foreign  concession  for  purposes  of  trade, 
and  therefore  is  really  not  Japanese  at  all.  But 

21 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

once  in  the  Yoshiwara  quarter  my  nerves  began  to 
tingle;  for  this  was  a  bit  of  Japan. 

Crocker  insists  that  it  is  small  and  tawdry  com- 
pared to  the  Tokio  Yoshiwara.  Never  having 
explored  that  portion  of  the  capital,  I  can  not  say. 
To  me  it  was  quite  enchanting.  The  houses  were 
higher  than  is  customary  in  Japanese  cities.  In 
color  all  were  of  the  unpainted  but  pleasantly 
weathered  shade  of  light  brown  that  is  so  agree- 
able to  the  eye  —  very  possibly  they  stain  the  wood, 
as  we  do  in  the  case  of  our  modern  bungalows. 
There  were  little  hanging  balconies  on  the  upper 
stories,  with  decorative  festoons  of  colored  paper 
lanterns.  Through  the  windows  and  the  open 
doorways  one  caught  glimpses  of  the  spring 
flowers  and  blossoms  that  play  so  great  and  fine  a 
part  in  the  esthetic  life  of  this  extraordinary  peo- 
ple. And  here  and  there,  at  a  window  or  over 
a  balcony  railing,  could  be  seen  a  face  —  a  quaint 
and  girlish  face  with  glossy  black  hair  done  up 
fantastically  high  over  wide  shell  combs  and  with 
glimpses  of  flowered  silks  about  slim  shoulders. 
The  fragrance  of  the  early  cherry  and  plum  blos- 
soms was  in  the  air. 

The  famous  "  Number  Nine  "  proved  to  be  a 
large  house  at  the  end  of  the  street.  The  door 
stood  invitingly  open.  A  well-trained  servant 

22 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

took  my  two  boxes  and  the  horn  and  carried  them 
in.  Another  servant  guided  us  upstairs. 

The  interior  was  cool  and  spacious.  It  differed 
in  so  many  respects  from  photographs  of  typical 
Japanese  house  interiors  that  I  decided  it  is  really 
a  foreign  resort.  Later  inquiries  this  evening  have 
confirmed  this  conclusion.  In  the  actual  Japanese 
house,  the  floor  is  elevated  a  foot  or  more  and  is 
also  the  seat ;  and  in  entering  one  passes  first  into 
a  tiny  hall  on  the  street  level,  removes  his  shoes, 
then  steps  up  to  the  floor  proper.  Here  there 
was  no  such  arrangement.  We  mounted  steps, 
then  walked  through  a  broad  hall  that  led  into  a 
central  court  full  of  flowers.  The  woodwork  of 
floor  and  walls  was  of  that  characteristic  and  agree- 
able tan  or  natural  shade.  The  rugs  were  simple 
and  quiet  in  design  and  color. 

Our  guide  led  us  to  a  stairway.  The  boy  with 
my  apparatus  looked  to  me  for  instructions,  and 
I  motioned  him  to  follow.  Then  we  mounted  the 
stairs,  and  passed  along  a  broad  corridor  overlook- 
ing the  court  to  an  office-like  room  in  the  corner 
that  was  furnished  with  European  tables  and 
chairs.  On  the  way  we  passed  an  open  doorway, 
and  I  caught  a  passing  glimpse  of  a  dim,  large 
room,  in  which  the  only  furniture  appeared  to  be 
a  low  platform  covered  with  a  rug  of  light  red. 

23 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  That 's  where  the  geisha  girls  dance,"  Crocker 
whispered. 

I  nodded.  I  was  looking  forward  with  a  good 
deal  of  interest  to  hearing  the  music  that  ac- 
companies this  performance. 

In  the  corner  room  we  were  welcomed  very 
civilly  by  a  little  old  woman,  and  tea  was  brought 
us.  Then  she  said  something  to  Crocker  in  a  sort 
of  pidgin-English  which  I  did  not  quite  catch. 
He  nodded  eagerly. 

It  occurred  to  me,  with  some  bitterness  I  am 
afraid,  that  the  little  old  woman  would  never  have 
thought  of  turning  to  me  as  the  leading  spirit  — 
never  in  the  world.  She  hardly  looked  at  me.  So 
I  went  on  sipping  my  tea. 

A  door  opened,  and  in  came  a  file  of  girls  — 
fourteen  of  them.  All  were  young;  one,  I 
thought,  of  not  more  than  thirteen  or  fourteen 
years  —  though  it  is  difficult  for  us  of  the  West 
to  judge  accurately  the  age  of  Orientals.  They 
shuffled  along  in  their  curious  little  shoes.  Sev- 
eral seemed  to  me  extremely  pretty;  all  were 
small  and  dainty.  Everything  considered,  they 
made  a  pleasing  picture  as  they  stood  there,  look- 
ing at  us  with  a  demure  twinkling  in  each  almond 
eye.  I  wondered  what  would  come  next.  A 
dance,  perhaps. 

24 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Crocker  had  hitched  forward  in  his  chair  and 
was  looking  rapidly  from  one  end  of  the  line  to 
the  other.  His  face  was  more  flushed  even  than 
usual;  his  eyes  were  eager.  Finally  his  gaze 
rested  on  the  third  girl  from  the  right  end  of 
the  line.  I  began  to  feel  uncomfortable. 

After  a  moment  he  rose,  and  nodded  toward 
that  third  girl.  She  promptly  stepped  forward. 
"  See  you  later,  old  man,"  he  said  to  me  bruskly, 
hardly  looking  at  me,  and  then,  laying  down  a 
gold  coin  and  taking  the  girl's  arm,  hurried  from 
the  room  with  her. 

Left  alone  there,  with  the  old  woman  and  the 
thirteen  girls,  I  found  myself  rather  confused. 
It  had  not  occurred  to  me  that  the  business  was 
to  be  rushed  through  with  so  mechanically,  so  bru- 
tally. The  beauty  of  the  building  and  the  charm 
of  these  quaint  little  girls  in  soft-colored  costumes 
had  up  to  this  moment  held  a  strong  lure  for  me. 
But  suddenly  the  situation  rang  hard  and  metallic. 
It  was,  after  all,  just  the  problematic,  age-old 
business  in  a  new  dress. 

And  then  I  began  to  feel  ashamed.  After  all, 
most  men  are  direct  and  practical  in  these  puz- 
zling matters.  They  do  not  theorize,  they  do  not 
shrink  from  rough  facts.  They  take  life  as  they 
find  it,  and  pass  on.  Here  am  I  (so  ran  my 

25 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

thoughts)  drawing  back,  refusing  life,  and  that  not 
in  any  firmness  of  purpose,  but  in  a  sort  of  fright! 

"  I  should  like  to  see  the  geishas  dance,"  I 
managed  to  say. 

"  No  can  do,"  replied  the  old  woman,  with  a 
gesture  of  her  skinny  hands.  "  One  day  —  three 
day  —  must  tell."  And  she  held  up  three  fin- 
gers. 

"  I  don't  understand  you,"  said  I. 

"  Geisha  girls  no  have  got  —  must  go  catchee 
two,  three,  four  piecee  girl ;  two,  three,  four  piecee 
music.  Two  —  three  day  you  tell.  No  can  do." 

She  evidently  meant  that  it  was  necessary  to 
give  notice  if  one  wished  the  geisha  dance.  And 
she  was  grinning  at  me  now  and  pointing  to  the 
girls.  I  was  being  swept  along  in  this  brutal  busi- 
ness. Otherwise,  they  would  feel,  why  had  I 
come  to  take  up  their  time? 

I  felt  the  color  rushing  into  my  face  as  I  raised 
my  hand  and  pointed  at  random.  One  of  the 
girls  came  forward.  The  old  woman  held  out  her 
hand.  I  found  a  gold  coin  and  dropped  it  on  her 
palm;  then  turned  for  my  apparatus,  which  the 
boy  had  set  on  a  chair  by  the  door.  I  made  a 
rather  awkward  matter  of  picking  it  up,  dropping 
the  horn  with  a  clatter.  The  other  girls  and  the 
old  woman  were  leaving  the  room  and  seemed  not 

26 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

to  observe  my  confusion.  The  girl  whom  I  had 
selected  picked  up  the  horn;  then  led  the  way  out 
the  door  and  along  the  corridor  overlooking  the 
wide  court  where  the  flowers  were. 

We  entered  a  room,  and  she  closed  the  door. 
My  heart  was  palpitating,  and  I  knew  that  my  face 
was  red;  so  I  busied  myself  setting  down  the  two 
boxes  on  the  table  and  opening  them. 

I  felt  her  brush  against  my  arm,  and  looked  at 
her.  She  was  rather  older  than  I  had  thought, 
though  still  young  enough,  God  knows,  for  the 
pitiful  trade  she  plies.  And  she  was  smiling,  with 
what  appeared  to  be  genuine  good  humor.  Prob- 
ably I  amused  her.  Worldly-wise  women,  when 
they  observe  me  at  all,  usually  look  amused;  so 
I  make  it  a  rule  to  avoid  them  when  I  can. 

"  Wha'  ees  eet  ?  "  she  asked,  nodding  toward  the 
instrument.  She  spoke  in  quite  understandable 
English,  though  with  a  strong  accent. 

I  told  her  it  was  a  phonograph,  and  asked  if  she 
would  sing  into  it.  She  seemed  pleased. 

I  had  her  sing  all  the  native  songs  she  was  able 
to  think  of  at  the  moment,  making  notes  of  the 
title  of  each,  as  nearly  as  I  could  catch  the  sound 
of  the  words.  To  make  sure  that  I  had  each 
correctly  identified,  I  repeated  it  to  her.  She 
laughed  a  good  deal  over  my  attempts  to  pronounce 

27 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

these  titles.  The  seven  songs  that  interested  me 
I  then  requested  her  to  sing  into  the  phonograph. 
This  she  did,  with  only  fair  satisfaction  to  me ;  for 
she  laughed  a  good  deal,  and  would  occasionally 
turn  her  head  to  look  up  at  me,  thus  directing 
the  tone  away  from  the  horn.  I  had  to  make  her 
sing  four  of  them  twice.  I  regretted  this,  as 
four  cylinders  were  thereby  wasted,  and  I  can  not 
replace  these  specially  made  cylinders  on  this  side 
the  Pacific.  I  began  to  see  that  the  twenty-two 
hundred  I  have  brought  with  me  will  be  used  up 
pretty  rapidly  when  my  investigation  gets  under 
full  headway  on  the  farther  side  of  the  Yellow 
Sea. 

I  have,  later  to-night,  played  over  these  seven 
records  here  in  my  room  at  the  hotel,  with  some 
sense  of  disappointment.  One  of  them  I  think 
will  prove,  on  careful  analysis,  to  have  for  its 
basis  the  ancient  pentatonic  scale.  The  intervals 
of  two  are  very  nearly  those  of  the  oldest  known 
Greek  scales  of  a  tone  and  two  conjunct  tetra- 
chords.  But  in  the  case  of  the  other  four  I  shall 
be  greatly  surprised  if  they  employ  any  other 
intervals  than  those  of  our  own  equal  temperament 
scale  of  twelve  semitones  to  the  octave. 

That,  of  course,  is  really  the  trouble  with  Japan 
as  a  field  of  research ;  these  marvelous  little  people 

28 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

pick  up  and  assimilate  Western  ideas  with  such 
rapidity  that  their  ancient  traditions  become  hope- 
lessly confused. 

The  girl  seemed  to  tire  after  a  while.  Her  voice 
became  hoarse  and  she  fell  to  coughing.  I  re- 
alized then  that  I  had  been  holding  her  pretty 
closely  to  this  work,  and  told  her  that  she  could 
rest  a  little  while. 

At  this,  she  sat  on  the  edge  of  the  European 
bed,  and  looked  at  me,  half  smiling. 

"You  lig  hear  the  koto?"  she  asked  suddenly. 

I  nodded  eagerly.  The  koto,  as  I  have  long 
known,  is  closely  related  to  the  ancient  Chinese 
instrument,  the  ch'in,  beloved  of  Confucius. 
Many  investigators  hold,  indeed,  that  it  is  the 
same  instrument,  transplanted  in  the  earliest  times 
and  changed  a  little  in  its  new  environment. 

She  slipped  out  of  the  room,  and  shortly  re- 
turned with  the  instrument,  which  remotely  re- 
sembles a  modern  zither  —  at  least,  in  the  fact  that 
it  has  a  number  of  strings  (thirteen  in  this  in- 
stance) stretched  over  a  board  and  played  by 
plucking  with  the  fingers.  It  was  a  beautiful 
object,  the  koto  of  this  nameless  little  inmate  of 
the  Yoshiwara,  highly  lacquered,  with  fine  inlays 
of  polished  woods,  tortoise-shell,  ivory,  and  silver ; 
and  I  could  see  by  her  smiling  breathlessness  and 

29 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  engaging,  almost  shy  glances  she  gave  me  as 
she  curled  up  on  the  bed  to  play  it,  that  she  was 
inordinately  proud  of  it. 

"  You  lig  hear  me  pray  ?  "  she  murmured. 

The  word  "  pray  "  came  to  me  with  a  curious 
shock  in  this  place.  Then  I  remembered  the  Jap- 
anese confusion  of  our  r  and  /  sounds,  and  knew 
that  she  meant  "  play." 

I  nodded. 

She  drew  from  a  fold  of  her  dress  a  pitch-pipe 
contrived  of  six  little  bamboo  tubes  bound  to- 
gether by  means  of  a  copper  wire,  and  tuned  all 
the  thirteen  strings.  Then  she  played  for  quite 
a  long  time,  characteristic  melodies  of  the  Orient 
that  floated  vaguely  and  hauntingly  between  the 
major  and  the  minor.  I  was  able  to  get  a  fairly 
clear  idea  of  the  scale  she  used  before  I  decided 
upon  the  nature  of  the  records  I  wished  to  make 
of  it.  I  moved  a  table  over  to  the  phonograph, 
and,  by  resting  the  koto  on  small  boxes  that  I 
found  on  the  bureau,  I  contrived  to  place  it  almost 
against  the  horn  of  the  phonograph.  Then  I  had 
her  play,  first  the  scale  of  the  open  strings,  fol- 
lowed by  those  two  or  three  of  the  melodies  that 
had  particularly  interested  me. 

It  had  grown  dark  some  time  before  this,  and 
she  had  lighted  a  lamp.  Now,  feeling  on  the 

3° 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

whole  well  satisfied  with  the  ten  records  I  had 
made,  I  looked  at  my  watch,  and  was  astonished 
to  learn  that  it  was  half -past  eight  in  the  evening. 
I  at  once  set  about  packing  up  my  apparatus. 

She  stood  close  to  me,  watching  the  process. 
Occasionally  she  put  out  her  small  hand  and 
stroked  my  hair.  When  I  had  done,  she  came  still 
closer  and,  with  momentary  hesitation,  placed  her 
arms  about  my  neck. 

"  You  go  'way?  "  she  whispered. 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  I  must  go  now." 

"Youdoan'  ligme?" 

"  Why,  yes,  certainly,"  I  replied,  "  I  like  you 
very  much.  And  you  have  sung  and  played  very 
prettily  for  me." 

"  Oh,"  said  she,  looking  somewhat  puzzled, 
"you  lig  that?" 

I  nodded.  My  hands  had  dropped  naturally 
upon  her  shoulders.  But  I  was  conscious  then  — 
and,  indeed,  am  to-night,  as  I  write  it  down  — 
of  some  confusion  of  thought. 

Then  she  raised  her  face  —  by  stretching  up  on 
tiptoe  and  pulling  with  tight  little  arms  about  my 
neck.  I  did  not  know  what  to  do.  To  draw  my 
lips  away  from  hers  would  be  something  more  than 
absurd.  There  is  a  limit  even  to  what  I  suppose 
I  must  sooner  or  later  admit  as  my  own  unmanli- 

31 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

ness.  So  I  kissed  her,  white  man  fashion.  And, 
to  my  complete  surprise,  she  clung  to  me  with 
what  seemed,  for  the  moment,  to  be  genuine  emo- 
tion. 

I  will  not  attempt  to  explain  either  my  nature 
in  general  or  my  actions  at  this  particular  time. 
What  would  be  the  use?  I  am  writing  this  jour- 
nal for  my  own  eyes  alone;  and,  God  knows, 
hours  enough  of  my  life  have  been  wasted  in  the 
pale  avenues  of  introspection.  I  am  not  a  wholly 
bloodless  being.  And  I  know  well  enough  that 
the  average  man  buys  women  now  and  then, 
here  and  there,  whatever  obligation  he  may  think 
himself  under  to  conceal  the  fact  and  thereby 
contribute  his  support  to  the  immense  foundation 
lie  on  which  our  Anglo-Saxon  structure  of  virtue 
and  morality  rests. 

I  do  not  know  why  I  found  myself  unable  to 
stay.  Perhaps  in  another  place  and  at  another 
time  it  would  have  been  different.  Perhaps  the 
beauty  and  charm  of  the  house  and  the  pleasant 
attractiveness  of  the  little  person  herself  had 
raised  me  too  high  above  the  ordinary  sordid 
plane  of  this  transaction,  and  emphasized  the  ugli- 
ness of  it. 

Perhaps,  too,  the  fact  (extraordinary  in  my 
lonely  experience)  that  she  had  given  up  smiling 

32 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

at  me,  and  now  plainly  wanted  me  to  stay,  was 
among  the  curious  psychological  forces  that  drove 
me  away.  As  to  why  she  wanted  me,  I  can  not 
say.  I  have  puzzled  over  that  part  of  it  all  the 
evening  (it  is  now  a  quarter  to  midnight)  with- 
out arriving  at  any  conclusion.  It  may  be  that 
by  unconsciously  permitting  her,  through  my  deep 
interest  in  her  music,  to  show  something  of  her 
own  enthusiasms  and  of  the  emotions  that  stirred 
them,  I  had  flattered  her  more  subtly  than  I 
knew.  Who  can  say? 

I  turned  right  back  to  my  boxes.  She  called  a 
boy  to  carry  them,  and  I  went  away.  My  last 
glimpse,  as  I  closed  her  door,  was  of  a  quaint 
little  slant-eyed  person,  whose  hair  had  become 
disarranged  and  was  tumbling  about  her  ears, 
whose  lips  were  parted  in  a  breathless  smile. 

One  thing  is  sure:  I  shall  never  let  Crocker 
know  that  I  came  away  like  that.  If  he  believed 
me  at  all,  which  I  doubt,  he  would  certainly  think 
me  weaker  than  I  am.  I  may  be  a  complicated, 
finicky  person ;  but  I  do  not  believe  I  am  as  weak 
as  he  would  think  me  if  he  knew. 

As  I  was  walking  along  the  corridor  I  heard 
other  footsteps,  and  looking  across  the  dim,  flower- 
scented  court,  just  managed  to  distinguish  a  rather 
ponderous  figure  proceeding  slowly  among  the 

33 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

shadows  on  the  other  side.  We  met  at  the  top  of 
the  stairs.  It  was  Sir  Robert. 

I  felt  myself  coloring  furiously;  and  he  wore 
a  shamefaced  expression.  For  such  is  the  curi- 
ous hypocrisy  of  man  when  caught  in  his  more 
or  less  constant  relationship  with  the  one  com- 
pletely universal  and  unchangeable  of  his  institu- 
tions. 

"  Well,"  said  he,  rather  awkwardly,  "  it  is  a 
very  pleasant  place,  the  way  they  keep  it  up." 

"  Very,"  I  replied. 

"And  what  is  all  this?"  He  was  looking  at 
my  boxes,  in  the  arms  of  the  boy  at  my  elbow. 
"Purchases?  Here?" 

"  That  is  my  phonograph,"  I  explained,  quite 
unnecessarily. 

"  Your  what?9'  He  said  this  much  as  Crocker 
had  said  it. 

"  My  phonograph,"  I  repeated. 

He  stood  looking  at  me,  with  knit  brows.  Then, 
"  Ah,  ha ! "  he  said,  musing.  "  So  that  was  it ! 
I  could  n't  explain  that  music  —  hours  of  it  —  and 
the  repetitions.  I  begin  to  see.  You  are  the 
authority  on  Oriental  music." 

I  bowed  coldly. 

Sir  Robert  began  smiling  —  an  old  man's  smile. 
I  started  down  the  stairs,  but  he  kept  at  my  side. 

34 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

We  went  on  to  the  outer  door  together  without 
a  word,  and  waited  while  the  boy  called  rickshaws 
for  us.  I  looked  at  Sir  Robert.  He  was  still 
smiling. 

"  Let  me  congratulate  you,"  he  said  then,  rather 
dryly.  And  his  left  eyelid  drooped  in  what  was 
grotesquely  like  a  wink.  "  You  have  the  distinc- 
tion, I  believe,  of  being  quite  the  most  practical 
man  in  the  world.  You  will  go  far." 

Thank  God,  the  rickshaw  is  the  most  unso- 
ciable of  vehicles.  Each  of  us  stepped  into  his 
own  and  rolled  away  through  a  dim  street  bor- 
dered by  rows  of  gay  paper  lanterns,  which  were 
lighted  now. 

As  my  rickshaw  turned  the  corner,  we  nearly 
collided  head  on  with  another  one.  By  the  light 
of  the  lanterns  I  made  out  its  occupant  —  the  fat 
vaudeville  manager  from  Cincinnati. 

He  waved  a  cheerful  hand  at  me  as  we  passed. 

"  Number  Nine?  "  he  called. 

"  Number  Nine,"  I  replied.  I  felt  depressed 
and  ashamed ;  but  he  took  it  very  easily. 

I  have,  however,  confirmed  a  conclusion  to- 
night, so  the  experience  has  its  value.  I  shall  push 
on  to  China,  where  the  ancient  music  may  still  be 
caught  in  its  pure  form,  uncorrupted  and  uncon- 
fused  by  the  modern  touch.  For  my  purposes, 

35 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

time  spent  in  Japan  would  be  wasted.     And  I  shall 
hurry  past  the  treaty  ports  to  Peking.     The  treaty 
ports,  they  tell  me,  are  not  really  Chinese  at  all. 
For  that  matter,  how  could  they  be? 


Grand  Hotel,  Yokohama, 
March  30th,  Early  Afternoon. 

CROCKER  has  not  yet  appeared.  I  borrowed 
his  key  from  the  office,  just  before  lunch, 
and  looked  in  his  room.  His  bed  had  not  been 
slept  in.  There  is  certainly  no  indirection  about 
Crocker,  no  introspective  uncertainty;  he  meets 
life  as  it  presents  itself,  roughly  and  squarely. 

On  the  whole,  I  find  I  like  him  much  better  than 
I  expected.  He  is  really  a  companionable  chap. 
He  is  not  so  eager  to  tell  his  troubles  as  I  had 
thought  he  would  be.  In  fact,  barring  that  one 
moment  on  the  ship,  he  has  not  even  referred  to 
them;  and  I  myself  drew  that  out  by  telling  him 
he  was  drinking  too  much. 

Sir  Robert  came  over  and  sat  with  me  just  now 
in  the  dining-room  while  I  finished  my  lunch.  I 
cut  the  meal  as  short  as  I  could.  He  was  distinctly 
affable.  He  asked  point-blank  where  I  am  going, 
and  I  had  to  tell.  It  seems  that  he  is  bound  for 
Peking  also,  via  Shanghai  and  Nanking.  Fortu- 
nately, he  announced  his  route  before  asking  about 

37 


mine.  I  decided  on  the  spot  to  go  around  by  the 
Korean  and  Chinese  Imperial  Railways,  through 
Fusan,  Mukden,  and  Shanhaikwan. 

However,  he  perhaps  did  me  a  service  by  telling 
me  of  a  pleasant  little  French  hotel  at  Peking,  on 
the  Italian  glacis,  whatever  that  is.  The  big  hotel 
in  the  Legation  Quarter,  he  says,  is  rather  expen- 
sive and  at  this  time  of  year  will  be  swarming  with 
tourists.  The  little  Hotel  de  Chine,  on  the  other 
hand,  is  frequented  only  by  queer  types  of  the 
Coast,  and  is  really  very  cheap. 

"  The  cuisine"  said  Sir  Robert,  "  is  atrocious. 
But,  being  French,  they  serve  excellent  coffee, 
which  does  for  breakfast  and  one  can,  in  a  pinch, 
put  together  a  fair  luncheon  there.  For  dinner, 
the  Wagon-lits,  of  course.  Above  all,  make  no 
experiments  with  the  cellar  of  the  Hotel  de  Chine. 
They  will  show  you  an  imposing  wine-card.  Shun 
it!" 

I  merely  bowed  at  this.  It  was  no  use  telling 
Sir  Robert  that  I  should  certainly  not  know  one 
alleged  vintage  from  another. 

There  is  one  difficulty.  Sir  Robert  himself, 
affecting  a  taste  for  the  quaint,  will  be  stopping  at 
our  less  pretentious  hostelry;  again,  with  my  eyes 
closed  at  night,  I  shall  see  that  bad  old  face  with 
the  one  drooping  eyelid;  again  that  loose  voice 

38 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

will  sound  in  my  ears.     But  then,  I  shall  be  very 
busy. 

Some  one  is  knocking  at  my  door.     Crocker  is 

calling. 


39 


Midnight  —  Still  the  joth. 

CROCKER  was  in  the  worst  shape  I  have  seen 
him  in  so  far.  His  eyes  were  red.  And 
when  he  dropped  on  my  couch,  the  first  thing  he 
did  was  to  stretch  out  his  right  hand  and  watch 
it  critically.  It  was  decidedly  unsteady. 

"  Ring  up  a  boy,  old  chap,  will  you?"  he  said. 

I  did  so.  He  ordered  a  quart  bottle  of  whisky 
and  a  half-dozen  bottles  of  Tan  San. 

"  Steady  my  nerves,"  he  observed,  half  to  him- 
self. "  It 's  that  dam'  sake.  Gets  to  me  like  ab- 
sinthe." He  chuckled.  "  I  must  have  a  quart 
of  the  stuff  in  me.  Some  night,  my  boy !  " 

Curiously,  a  few  drinks  of  the  whisky  did  seem 
to  steady  his  nerves.  After  a  while  he  came  over 
to  the  table,  sat  down  opposite  me,  and  lighted  a 
cigar.  We  talked  for  an  hour  or  two  —  until  I 
finally  explained  that  I  really  had  to  get  at  my 
work.  Then  he  returned  to  the  sofa,  stretched 
out  comfortably,  with  the  whisky  and  an  ash-tray 
on  a  chair  beside  him,  and  watched  me,  with  only 
an  occasional  good-natured  interruption. 

He  seemed  greatly  interested  in  my  method  of 
40 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

musical  notation.  Of  course,  the  ordinary  staff 
of  five  lines  would  not  serve  me  at  all,  since  I 
find  it  necessary  to  indicate  intervals  much  closer 
than  the  usual  half-step.  I  use  large  sheets  of 
paper,  ruled  from  top  to  bottom  with  fine  lines, 
every  sixteenth  line  being  heavier.  Thus  I  can 
record  intervals  as  fine  as  the  sixteenth  of  a  tone. 
In  fact,  as  I  told  Crocker,  and  as  Rameau  and  von 
Stumbostel  both  recognize,  I  have  actually  done  so! 
I  undoubtedly  possess  the  most  delicate  aural  per- 
ception of  any  scientist  that  has  ever  investigated 
the  so-called  primitive  music.  My  ears  are  to  me 
what  the  eyes  of  the  great  astronomer  are  to  him. 
This  is  why  all  my  contemporaries,  particularly 
the  great  von  Stumbostel,  are  following  my  present 
inquiry  with  such  extraordinary  interest. 

It  was  six  o'clock  before  I  finished  noting  down 
the  songs  and  koto  melodies  from  my  records  of 
the  preceding  evening.  Crocker  sipped  continu- 
ously at  his  whisky  and  Tan  San  —  to  my  sur- 
prise, without  the  slightest  apparent  ill  effect. 
Perhaps  he  grew  a  little  mellower,  a  little  more 
human,  as  the  phrase  runs,  but  that  was  all. 
When  my  work  was  done,  I  drew  a  chair  to 
the  sofa,  put  my  feet  up,  and  encouraged  him  to 
talk. 

At  a  little  after  seven  he  went  to  his  room  to 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

dress  for  dinner.  I  scrubbed  some  of  the  ink  off 
my  fingers  and  slipped  into  my  dinner-jacket,  then 
knocked  at  his  door. 

As  we  descended  the  wide  stairs,  I  observed 
that  Crocker  was  walking  down  very  rigidly,  plac- 
ing his  foot  squarely  in  the  middle  of  each  step. 
On  the  landing  he  paused,  and  turned  to  me  with 
a  slight  smile. 

"Am  I  acting  all  right?"  he  asked. 

"Perfectly.     Why?" 

"  My  boy," —  he  lowered  his  voice, — "  I  'm 
drunk  as  a  lord.  But  I  reckon  I  can  get  away 
with  it.  Come  along." 

He  really  handled  himself  surprisingly  well.  I 
am  not  an  expert,  of  course,  in  the  various  psycho- 
logical reactions  from  drink.  I  should  have  said 
he  was  a  little  over-stimulated,  nothing  more. 
He  kept  away  from  the  bar,  and  at  the  table  in 
the  big  dining-room  drank  very  little  —  only  a 
cocktail  and  a  light  wine  with  the  roast  And  he 
discussed  this  with  me  at  the  start,  finally  decid- 
ing that  it  would  not  be  wise  for  him  to  stop  ab- 
ruptly. 

All  went  well  until  the  dessert.  There  was 
quite  a  choice  of  items  on  the  bill.  I  ordered 
vanilla  ice  cream.  I  distinctly  heard  him  order 
the  same.  I  recall  wondering  a  little,  at  the  mo- 

42 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

ment;  for  surely  vanilla  ice  cream  was  not  the 
most  desirable  addition  to  the  various  substances 
already  on  his  alcohol-poisoned  stomach. 

When  the  waiter  set  the  dish  before  him, 
he  astonished  me  with  a  sudden  outburst  of 
anger. 

"  Good  God !  "  he  cried,  quite  loud,  "  am  I  to 
be  treated  like  this!  Has  nobody  any  regard  for 
my  feelings ! " 

I  began  to  feel  unpleasantly  conspicuous. 

"  This  is  past  all  endurance !  "  he  shouted,  push- 
ing back  his  chair. 

The  Chinese  waiter  had  turned  back,  by  this 
time,  and  stood,  bowing  respectfully  by  his  chair. 

Crocker  swore  under  his  breath,  sprang  to  his 
feet,  and  with  a  short,  hard  swing  of  his  right 
hand  struck  the  unsuspecting  Chinaman  on  the 
jaw. 

I  never  before  saw  a  man  fall  in  precisely  that 
way.  Indeed,  it  was  not  a  fall  in  the  ordinary 
sense  of  the  word.  It  was  more  like  a  sudden 
paralysis.  His  knees  appeared  to  give,  and  he 
sank  to  the  floor  without  the  slightest  sound  that 
I  was  conscious  of. 

There  was  a  good  deal  of  confusion,  of  course. 
Women  made  sounds.  One  or  two,  I  think,  ran 
from  the  room.  There  was  much  scraping  of 

43 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

chairs  as  men  got  up  and  made  for  us.  The 
manager  of  the  hotel  appeared,  crowding  through 
toward  us. 

The  Chinaman  did  not  stir ;  he  was  now  merely 
a  heap  of  blue  clothing  at  our  feet,  huddled  against 
the  table-leg. 

Crocker  stood  beside  the  table,  steadying  himself 
by  gripping  the  back  of  his  chair,  and  smiling 
with  an  air  of  rather  self-conscious  distinction. 
He  bowed  slightly  to  the  breathless  manager. 

"  It  was  quite  unavoidable,"  he  said.  "  As  a 
gentleman  you  will  readily  see  that."  His  tongue 
was  thicker  now.  "  Nobody  regrets  it  more  'n  I 
—  nobody  more  'n  I." 

The  manager  gave  me  a  look  and  caught  him 
by  one  arm.  I  took  the  other.  Crocker  hung 
back. 

"  This  is  quite  unnecessary,"  he  said,  "  quite 
unnecessary.  I  'm  perf 'kly  sober,  I  assure  you. 
As  a  matter  o'  fac',  I  'm  soberes'  man  in  th'ole  big 
room.  Very  big  room.  Ver'  big  room  indeed. 
Bigges'  room  ever  saw." 

Between  us,  the  manager  and  I  got  him  up- 
stairs and  into  his  room.  Then  I  was  left  alone 
with  him  to  undress  him  and  get  him  into  his  bed. 
The  task  consumed  all  of  an  hour.  He  was 
rough,  almost  violent,  one  moment,  and  absurdly 

44 


1  It  was  quite  unavoidable,"  he  said 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

polite  the  next.  His  mind  developed  a  trick  of 
leaping  off  on  unexpected  tangents.  He  tried  to 
point  out  reasons  against  removing  each  article 
of  clothing  as  we  came  to  it.  It  was  interesting, 
on  the  whole.  I  have  since  almost  regretted  that 
I  did  not  make  exact  notes  of  these  curious  mental 
flights.  But  at  the  moment  it  seemed  too  remote 
from  my  own  field  of  study.  And  I  suppose  my 
decision  was  reasonable. 

It  occurs  to  me,  in  glancing  back  over  the  fore- 
going paragraph,  that  Crocker  —  had  I  been  the 
drunk  one  and  he  the  sober  —  would  not  have 
drifted  into  this  highly  self-conscious  theorizing; 
he  would  not  have  felt  this  detachment  from  the 
fact.  Perhaps  that  is  the  secret  of  my  difference 
from  other  men.  Perhaps  that  is  the  peculiar  re- 
spect in  which  I  am  not  wholly  normal.  If  this 
is  so,  am  I  doomed  to  dwell  always  apart  from 
my  fellows  in  a  cold  region  of  pure  thought?  I 
am  going  to  set  this  confession  down  here:  I 
have  almost  envied  Crocker  to-night  —  not,  of 
course,  the  frightful  things  he  does,  but  the  human, 
yes,  the  animal  quality  of  the  man  that  makes  it 
possible  for  him  to  get  drunk  now  and  then.  For 
I  can't  do  it!  I  am  farther  from  the  norm  than 
he;  on  the  opposite  side,  to  be  sure,  but  farther. 
Is  not  this  why  I  have  never  had  a  man  chum? 

47 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Is  not  this  why  no  good  woman  has  ever  looked 
on  me  with  the  eye  of  love? 

I  got  him  to  bed,  finally,  and  sat  by  him  until 
he  fell  asleep.  I  am  going  back  there  now  to  pass 
the  night  on  his  sofa,  first  undressing  here.  I 
shall  feel  somewhat  conspicuous,  walking  down  the 
hall  in  the  gay  kimono  I  bought  this  morning. 
But  I  do  not  think  any  one  will  notice  it.  They 
seem  not  to  mind  such  things  out  here. 

The  manager  has  just  been  up  to  see  me.  He 
says  that  the  waiter  is  all  right  now,  excepting  a 
slight  nausea.  And  he  suggests  that  Crocker 
leave  the  hotel  as  soon  as  convenient.  Poor  fel- 
low, I  shall  have  to  carry  this  word  to  him.  I 
found,  on  pinning  the  manager  down,  that  by  the 
phrase  "  as  soon  as  convenient  "  he  means  as  early 
to-morrow  as  possible.  But  I  shall  not  wake 
Crocker  up;  he  shall  have  his  sleep  before  they 
turn  him  out  on  the  Bund. 

Well,  I  must  get  ready  now  for  my  night  watch. 
It  is  the  first  time  I  have  ever  been  responsible  for 
a  drunken  man. 

To-morrow  I  leave  over  the  Tokaido  Railway 
for  the  Straits  of  Tsushima,  Korea,  Manchuria, 
and  the  barbaric  old  capital  of  the  newest  republic 
on  earth.  It  has  been  a  curious  experience 
throughout,  this  with  Crocker.  But  it  will  soon 

48 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

be  over  now.  And  I  do  not  regret  it.  I  may 
never  again  be  drawn  so  deeply  into  the  rough 
current  of  actual  life.  My  way  lies  far  from 
this. 


49 


On  the  Railway, 

Coasting  the  Island  Sea  — 

March  jist. 

CROCKER'S  story  came  out,  after  all.  This 
morning,  in  his  room.  It  is  rather  difficult 
writing  here  on  the  train,  with  only  a  suit-case  for 
a  table;  but  I  feel  that  I  must  set  down  the  last 
of  this  strange  story,  now  that  I  have  given  so 
much  of  my  time  and  thought  to  the  man ;  and  it 
must  be  written  before  any  new  experiences  may 
arise  to  claim  my  attention  and  perhaps  erase  some 
salient  detail  of  the  narrative.  Then,  who  knows? 
This  may  not  be  the  last.  I  may  find  myself  in- 
volved in  it  again.  Sir  Robert  observed  yesterday : 
"  The  China  Coast  is  even  smaller  than  the  well- 
known  world.  Even  if  I  should  miss  you  at 
Peking,  we  shall  meet  again."  He  is  doubtless 
right.  We  shall  meet  again.  And  Crocker  and 
I,  too,  shall  meet  again,  I  think.  When  and  how, 
I  can  only  wonder. 

I  slept  badly  last  night,  on  his  sofa.  Early  this 
morning  I  returned  to  my  own  room,  dressed, 
ordered  up  a  light  breakfast,  and  then  spent  two 

5° 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

hours  in  packing.  It  was  nearer  eleven  than  ten 
when  I  tapped  on  the  door. 

"  Come  in !  "  he  called. 

He  had  pulled  an  extra  pillow  in  behind  his 
head,  and  was  sitting  up  in  bed.  He  was  whiter 
than  I  had  before  seen  him.  And  the  hand  that 
he  extended  to  me  shook  so  that  he  could  hardly 
hold  it  up.  It  was  cold  to  the  touch. 

For  a  few  moments  after  I  had  sent  a  boy  for  his 
coffee,  we  talked  about  next  to  nothing  —  the  time, 
the  weather,  my  departure.  But  his  hollow  eyes 
were  searching  me. 

"  Who  put  me  here?  "  he  asked,  finally. 

I  told  him. 

"Any  trouble?" 

I  hesitated. 

"  Tell  me.  Don't  play  with  me.  Did  I  break 
out?" 

There  was  nothing  to  do  but  tell  him  the  whole 
story;  which  I  did.  He  listened  in  complete 
silence,  sipping  the  coffee  (for  which  he  seemed 
to  feel  some  repugnance). 

"Hurt  the  fellow?"  he  asked,  when  I  had 
done. 

"  No.     He  is  reported  all  right  this  morning." 

His  chin  dropped  on  his  deep  chest.  He  seemed 
to  be  meditating,  in  a  crestfallen  sort  of  way ;  but 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  observed  that  his  eyes  wandered  aimlessly  about 
the  room.  Finally  he  said: 

"  Suppose  I  had  killed  him." 

"  You  did  n't,"  I  replied  shortly. 

He  covered  his  face  with  his  shaking  hands. 

"  It 's  the  murder  in  my  heart,"  he  muttered. 

I  could  only  look  at  him. 

After  a  little  he  dropped  his  hands,  leaned  back 
on  the  pillow,  and  gazed  at  me. 

"  You  're  blaming  me,"  he  said. 

I  shook  my  head. 

"  You  are.  But  not  so  much  as  you  will.  Do 
you  know  what  I  'm  doing  out  here  ?  Do  you 
suppose  I  left  my  business  to  come  halfway  around 
the  world  on  a  pleasure  trip  —  at  my  age  ?  Chuck 
everything  worth  while,  just  when  I  'm  at  the  top 
of  my  stride?  No,  you  don't  know;  but  I  'm  go- 
ing to  tell  you." 

I  put  up  my  hand,  but  he  plunged  gloomily  on : 

"  My  wife  eloped  with  a  man.  A  man  I  knew. 
•They  came  out  here.  I  Ve  come  to  find  them.  I  'm 
going  to  kill  him  and  her.  With  a  knife." 

"  You  must  not  do  that,"  said  I.  I  recall  now 
that  the  thought  came  to  me  to  deal  with  him  as 
if  he  were  a  lunatic,  and  humor  him.  So  I  said, 
"  You  must  not  do  that." 

"It  is  the  only  thing  to  do,"  said  he,  rather 
52 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

dogmatically.  "  How  can  I  face  my  friends 
again  if  I  fail?  A  man  who  doesn't  even  try  to 
protect  his  home !  " 

"  It  would  be  murder." 

He  shook  his  head.  "  No  honest  jury  would 
hang  me  for  that.  It  is  the  unwritten  law." 
Then,  as  if  conscious  of  the  weakness  of  his  ar- 
gument, he  added :  "  Besides,  what  difference 
does  it  make?  Those  two  have  committed  worse 
than  murder  against  me.  It  does  n't  matter  a  par- 
ticle now  what  becomes  of  me.  I  loved  my  wife. 
I  gave  her  everything  that  money  could  buy.  I 
bought  her  an  automobile  for  her  own  only  last 
year.  I  took  her  to  Europe.  And  when  I  mar- 
ried her  she  had  never  had  anything  or  been  any- 
where. I  wanted  her  to  be  the  mistress  of  my 
home,  and  she  insisted  on  sacrificing  all  that  — 
and  me  —  to  her  music.  So  I  got  her  the  best 
teachers  in  New  York  and  Paris.  Even  left  her 
in  Paris  to  study.  That 's  where  she  met  him. 
She  insisted  on  going  into  opera.  I  forbade  that 
—  naturally.  I  wanted  children  —  she  refused. 
Tell  me  —  is  that  asking  too  much?" 

He  had  been  talking  in  a  monotonous  tone;  but 
now  his  voice  began  rising,  and  his  face  was  twitch- 
ing nervously. 

"  Is  it  ?  "  he  went  on.  "  Is  it  asking  too  much 
53 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

for  a  husband  to  have  sons  to  bear  his  name  and 
inherit  his  property?  When  I  saw  what  was  go- 
ing on,  she  told  me  to  divorce  her.  I  said,  '  By 
God,  that 's  one  thing  I  won't  do  for  you !  I  've 
some  sense  of  honor,  if  you  haven't!  You're 
mine,  and  you  stay  mine!'  Then  she  ran  away 
with  that  crook.  But  she  can't  have  him,  I  tell 
you !  She  can't  have  him !  " 

I  suggested  that  he  lower  his  voice.  He  gave 
me  a  curious,  wild  glance,  and  fell  silent. 

It  occurred  to  me  that,  knowing  all  this,  I  had 
no  right  to  go  away  —  that  I  must  stay  and  pre- 
vent this  terrible  thing  from  taking  place.  I  said 
as  much  to  him. 

"  No,"  he  replied,  with  some  vehemence ; 
"  there  's  nothing  in  that.  You  could  n't  prevent 
anything.  The  best  thing  you  can  do  is  to  run 
along.  I  don't  even  know  where  they  are;  but 
I  '11  find  them.  You  can't  hide  long  on  the  China 
Coast  —  not  from  a  man  that 's  really  looking." 

I  thought  this  over  for  quite  a  little  time.  It 
was  true  enough  that  I  could  not  prevent  his  giv- 
ing me  the  slip.  I  could  not  lock  him  up  or  de- 
tain him  in  any  forcible  way.  It  seemed  to  me 
that  I  must  do  something;  but  as  the  moments 
passed  it  grew  increasingly  difficult  to  imagine 
what  it  could  be. 

54 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

It  was  all  very  disturbing.  I  helped  him  get 
up.  Then,  as  he  seemed  fairly  well  able  to  dress 
himself,  I  went  out  and  walked  for  a  while  on  the 
Bund.  When  I  returned  I  found  him  stretched 
out  on  my  sofa,  smoking. 

"  Come  on  in,"  he  said  in  a  strong,  sober  voice. 
What  an  extraordinary  fund  of  vitality  the  man 
has  to  draw  on!  "I  want  to  talk  to  you." 

As  I  sank  into  a  chair  beside  him,  I  felt  once 
more  that  he  was  the  stronger  of  us,  I  the  weaker, 
even  after  all  we  had  been  through. 

He  knocked  the  ash  off  his  cigar.  It  missed 
the  ash-tray  and  fell,  part  of  it,  on  the  leg  of  my 
trousers.  "  I  beg  your  pardon,  old  man,"  he  said, 
and  carefully  brushed  it  off.  Then  he  settled  back 
against  the  wall  and  stared  up  through  his  smoke 
at  the  pattern  on  the  ceiling. 

"  My  hand  is  n't  quite  steady  yet,"  he  added 
calmly. 

Then  he  went  on :  "I  should  n't  have  told 
this  to  you,  Eckhart.  It  is  n't  the  sort  of  thing  a 
man  can  tell.  But,  as  it  happens,  you  know  why 
I  did  it.  I  've  been  stewed  to  the  brim  for  two 
days.  I  'm  through  with  that  now,  though.  Un- 
til a  certain  job  is  done,  I  touch  nothing  stronger 
than  wine.  Here  's  my  hand  on  it." 

I  had  to  clear  my  throat.     I  managed  to  say 

55 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

huskily:     "I    can't    take    your    hand    on    that, 
Crocker." 

He  shrugged  his  shoulders.  "  Very  well,"  he 
said.  "If  you  prefer  it  that  way.  It  goes,  how- 
ever. I  drink  no  more  now.  That  is  one  thing 
I  really  have  yo.u  to  thank  for,  Eckhart.  Until 
you  spoke  out,  back  there  on  the  ship,  I  did  n't 
realize  how  much  I  was  drinking.  What  you  told 
me  this  morning  has  clinched  the  business.  I  'm 
through.  And  you  will  find  that  I  am  a  man  of 
my  word." 

"  I  am  glad  of  that,"  said  I,  "  because  I  believe 
that,  with  the  drink  out  of  your  system,  your  phi- 
losophy of  life  will  change.  I  hope  it  will." 

He  shook  his  head  at  this. 

"  No,  Eckhart.  Now,  see  here.  You  have  to- 
day seen  deep  into  a  man's  heart.  What  you  saw 
was  not  drink,  merely ;  it  was  fact." 

His  manner  of  saying  this  gave  me  an  uncom- 
fortable feeling  that  he  was  speaking  the  truth. 
Indeed,  my  increasing  conviction  as  to  the  great 
reserve  power  of  the  man  was  distressing  me. 

"  As  I  told  you  this  morning,"  he  went  on, 
"  there  is  absolutely  nothing  you  can  do  in  the 
matter.  Except  killing  me,  of  course  —  you  could 
do  that.  But  you  won't." 

"No,"  said  I  sadly;  "I  won't." 
56 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  And  I  'm  going  to  ask  you  to  take  the  only 
course  that  an  honorable  man  can  take  in  the  pri- 
vate quarrel  of  another  —  stand  aside  and  try  to 
forget  what  I  have  told  you.  You  have  my 
drunken  confidences;  forget  them." 

"See  here!"  I  broke  out.  "Were  you  faith- 
ful to  your  wife  before  she  turned  against  you?  " 

His  eyes  hardened.  "  What  do  you  mean  by 
that  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Precisely  what  I  say." 

"  You  're  talking  nonsense,  Eckhart  — 

"  I  am  not  talking  non  — " 

"  Yes,  you  are! " 

He  had  swung  around,  and  was  sitting  up,  look- 
ing me  squarely  in  the  eye,  as  he  shouted  me 
down.  My  heart  sank.  Mere  squabbling  would 
get  us  nowhere.  I  did  not  know  what  to  do.  I  do 
not  now  know  what  to  do. 

He  went  on : 

:<  Yes ;  I  was,  to  all  intents  and  purposes,  faith- 
ful to  her.  I  did  as  well  as  a  normal,  healthy  man 
can  be  expected  to  do.  Let  us  not  be  childish 
about  this.  You  and  I  know  that  man  is  phys- 
iologically different  from  woman.  We  know 
that  what  there  is  of  purity  and  sacredness  in  mar- 
riage and  in  life  will  be  lost  forever  once  we 
lower  our  ideal  of  woman's  virtue." 

57 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  No,"  said  I ;  "  as  a  scientific  man  — " 

I  could  not  go  on  with  my  protest ;  for  thoughts 
of  a  few  wild  moments  in  my  own  relatively  quiet 
life  had  come  floating  to  the  surface  of  memory. 
Who  was  I,  to  oppose  the  double  standard  of  mo- 
rality that  has  ruled  the  world  so  long! 

He  was  still  looking  at  me  in  that  intent  way. 
There  was  deep  sadness  behind  the  hard  surface 
of  his  eyes. 

"  I  came  here  to  thank  you  for  all  your  kindness, 
Eckhart,"  he  said  then.  "  As  for  what  you  have 
heard,  remember  it  is  mine,  not  yours.  That  is 
all.  Now,  if  you  don't  mind,  I  '11  help  you  get 
your  truck  down  to  the  train." 

I  did  as  he  said.  I  am  on  my  way  to  Peking 
to  pursue  my  research.  He  is  plunging  off  to 
scour  the  ports  of  Japan,  all  the  way  to  Nagasaki, 
for  the  man  and  the  woman  who  have  assailed  his 
honor  and  (what  I  anvtempted  to  think  even  more 
to  the  point)  outraged  his  pride  as  the  head  of  his 
own  house.  Then  he  will  go  on,  if  necessary,  to 
Shanghai, —  that  port  of  all  the  world, —  to  Hong- 
kong, Manila,  and  Singapore,  perhaps  up  the 
coast  to  Tientsin  and  Peking.  And  he  has  made 
me  believe  that  he  will  do  as  he  has  sworn.  It  is 
very  strange  —  very  sad. 

At  the  station  I  made  my  last  weak  protest. 
58 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  Crocker,"  I  blurted  out,  "  for  God's  sake,  try 
to  win  her  back.  Perhaps  you  drove  her  away. 
Perhaps  you  were  harsher,  less  understanding,  than 
you  knew.  Perhaps  you  should  beg  her  forgive- 
ness, not  she  yours." 

He  shook  his  head.  "  That  may  be  so,"  he  said. 
"  All  that  you  say  may  be  so.  But  I  could  n't 
take  her  back.  Don't  you  see?  " 

"  No,"  I  replied  stoutly,  "  I  don't  see." 

He  raised  both  his  hands  in  a  despairing  ges- 
ture. 

"  She  is  —  she  — "  His  voice  suddenly  failed 
him.  "  She  's  a  woman  —  and  she  's  soiled !  " 
His  eyes  filled ;  a  tear  rolled  down  his  cheek.  He 
made  a  queer,  convulsive  face;  then  threw  up  his 
hands  and  turned  away. 

That  was  all.     I  boarded  my  train. 

The  young  German  did  not  return  the  fifteen 
dollars.  This  China  Coast  is  a  hive  of  swindlers 
—  so  says  Sir  Robert.  Henceforth  I  intend 
hardening  my  heart  against  every  man.  And 
against  every  woman,  above  all.  For  they,  says 
Sir  Robert,  are  the  subtler  and  the  worse. 


59 


Peking,  April  $th,  Midday. 

THAT  Crocker  affair  haunts  me  with  the 
power  of  a  bad  dream. 

I  do  not  like  this  at  all. 

I  was  too  sympathetic  with  that  man.  I  opened 
the  gates  of  my  mind  to  his  ugly  story ;  now  I  can 
not  thrust  it  out  and  close  those  gates.  My  first 
impulse,  to  hold  him  at  arm's  length,  was  sound. 
I  should  have  done  that.  But  at  least,  and  at  no 
small  cost,  I  have  again  learned  my  little  lesson; 
from  now  on  I  purpose  dwelling  apart  from  the 
tangle  of  contemporary  life.  It  has  no  bearing 
on  my  work,  on  my  thoughts.  None  whatever. 
It  merely  confuses  me. 

Yet,  through  momentary  weakness,  I  have  per- 
mitted my  precious  line  of  pure  thought  to  be 
clouded  with  the  vision  of  a  strong  man's  face 
with  tears  on  it.  I  see  it  at  night.  And,  worse, 
I  can  not  stop  myself  from  hunting  for  the  woman 
he  is  going  to  kill.  The  mere  sight  of  a  young- 
ish couple  sets  my  pulse  to  racing.  I  watch  —  on 
trains,  in  station  crowds,  on  the  street  —  for  a 
beautiful  woman  with  a  sad  face.  That  she  will 

60 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

be  beautiful  I  am  certain;  for  Crocker  would  have 
had  nothing  less  in  that  house  of  which  he  felt 
himself  so  strongly  and  dominantly  the  master. 
And  I  think  she  will  be  sad. 

I  study  the  throats  of  the  beautiful  young  women 
I  see.  She  will  have  the  full,  rather  broad  throat 
of  the  singer.  And  the  deep  chest  and  erect  bear- 
ing. And  I  think  her  head  will  be  well  poised. 

There  is  a  woman  here  in  the  hotel  —  a  partic- 
ular woman,  I  mean  —  on  this  second  floor. 
Though,  for  that  matter,  there  are  only  the  two 
floors.  I  have  passed  her  twice,  in  the  hall.  But 
the  light  is  dim,  and  I  have  been  unable  to  observe 
her  throat  or  her  face.  She  is  of  a  good  height, 
for  a  woman, —  quite  as  tall  as  I, —  and  she  steps 
firmly  on  the  balls  of  her  feet.  Her  figure  is  slim. 
The  chest,  I  think,  is  deep.  And  in  a  way  that 
I,  as  a  man  (and  a  man  who  knows  little  of  woman 
outside  the  psychology  books),  can  not  explain  in 
any  satisfactory  way,  she  conveys,  even  in  this 
dim  light,  the  impression  of  being  exquisitely 
dressed. 

I  think  she  has  her  meals  served  in  her  room. 
At  least,  I  have  on  three  occasions  met  a  waiter 
coming  upstairs  with  a  tray;  and  I  can  not  make 
out  that  it  would  be  for  any  other. 

As  Sir  Robert  intimated,  these  other  guests  are 
61 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

a  queer  lot.  There  can  not  be  more  than  twelve 
or  fourteen,  in  all.  The  men  are  seedy,  and  rather 
silent.  They  sit  about  a  good  deal,  reading  the 
papers  (copies  of  the  more  suggestive  French 
weeklies  are  strewn  about  on  every  chair  and  sofa 
in  the  lounge),  and  they  eye  me  and  one  another 
with  a  sort  of  cool  distrust.  The  women,  three 
or  four  in  all,  seem  to  come  and  go  rather  freely. 
And  each  has  the  eye,  the  manner,  even  the  physi- 
cal bearing,  of  the  woman  for  whom  the  half- 
world  has  no  secrets.  Then,  there  is  a  discreet, 
drifting  class  of  transients  —  men  from  the  Lega- 
tion Quarter,  I  believe  f  often,  indeed,  they  come 
in  full  uniform),  who  are  always  accompanied  by 
young  women.  Sometimes,  as  it  may  happen, 
these  are  the  familiar  women  of  the  place;  but 
quite  as  often  they  are  strangers  to  my  eyes.  And 
always,  day  and  night,  there  is  in  the  manner  of 
the  guests  and  in  that  of  the  little  French  manager 
and  his  half-caste  clerk  an  air  of  carefully  refrain- 
ing from  questions.  It  is  as  if  every  one  said  to 
every  one  else :  "  You  are  here,  but  you  are  quite 
safe,  for  I  make  it  a  rule  never  to  see  who  comes 
or  what  goes  on  here.  Perhaps  one  day  I  may 
have  to  ask  the  same  discreet  courtesy  from  you. 
It  is  quite  all  right,  believe  me." 

In  this   odd  atmosphere   I  live  and   have  my 
62 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

being.  The  building  is  a  mere  rambling  collec- 
tion of  mansardes.  The  chairs  in  the  bedrooms  — 
at  least,  in  my  own  —  are  of  the  common  bent- 
iron  variety  usually  seen  in  gardens.  The  beds 
are  of  the  most  simple  iron  sort,  once  painted 
with  a  white  enamel  that  has  been  largely  chipped 
off.  The  linen  is  threadbare,  even  ragged, —  there 
is  a  hole  in  my  nether  sheet  through  which  my 
foot  slips  at  night,  not  infrequently  catching  there 
and  waking  me  from  dreams  of  the  pillory  and 
chains, —  but  it  is  not  unclean.  There  would  be 
no  excuse  for  that,  in  a  whole  world  of  laundry- 
men.  On  each  mantel  and  iron-legged  table  is 
an  ash-tray  that  blatantly  advertises  a  Japanese 
whisky. 

Yes,  in  this  odd  atmosphere  I  live  and,  in  a 
manner,  breathe  —  I  and  the  slim,  beautifully 
dressed  woman  who  walks  so  firmly  on  the  balls 
of  her  feet.  Whoever  she  may  be,  she  belongs 
here  no  more  than  I. 

Of  course,  the  chances  are  all  against  —  yet  I 
wonder !  For  one  thing,  she  is  alone.  I  am  posi- 
tive of  this.  All  the  other  guests  I  have  seen, 
now,  coming  and  going.  But  she  never  comes  or 
goes  —  excepting  apparently  for  a  short  walk  each 
afternoon,  and  always  unaccompanied.  He  would 
not  have  deserted  her  —  away  out  here.  Surely  a 

63 


man  would  not  do  that  to  a  woman  he  has  loved. 

But  wait  —  I  am  forgetting  the  sort  of  world 
this  is.  There  is  nothing  —  nothing  —  man  does 
not  do  to  woman.  Or  that  woman  does  not  do  to 
man.  Nothing  is  too  subtly  selfish,  nothing  too 
cruel. 

To-day  I  mean  to  time  my  own  walk  with  hers. 
I  must  see  her  in  the  light.  I  must  observe  her 
throat  and  her  face.  ...  At  the  thought  of  what 
I  niay  see  my  nerves  behave  abominably.  My 
forehead  burns.  My  heart  beats  with  an  absurd 
irregularity.  These  facts  alone  appear  to  indi- 
cate that  my  place  is  not  in  this  wild  world  of  pas- 
sion and  conflict. 

It  is  not  wholly  unpleasant  here  in  my  dingy 
little  room  —  though  the  carpet  is  a  rag,  and  the 
door  between  me  and  my  next  neighbor  has  shrunk 
its  lock  out  of  alignment  and  appears  to  be  blocked 
off,  on  the  farther  side,  by  some  bulky  piece  of 
furniture.  This  door  opens  on  my  side  of  the 
partition. 

No,  it  is  not  so  unpleasant.  Outside,  the  sun 
is  shining.  To  my  nostrils  comes  floating  the 
quaint,  pungent  odor  that  has  in  the  minds  of  so 
many  travelers  characterized  the  East.  Over  the 
low-tiled  roofs  of  a  row  of  Chinese  houses  I  can 
see  —  beyond  an  open  space  —  the  masonry  wall 

64 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

of  the  fortified  Legation  Quarter,  with  a  sentry- 
box  peeping  above  it,  and  the  flag  of  Italy,  and 
trees. 


April  $th  —  night. 

IT  is  she. 
This  afternoon  I  was  revising  my  nota- 
tion of  the  Japanese  music ;  quite  late,  five  o'clock 
or  so.  Suddenly  I  heard  a  voice  —  a  woman's 
voice  —  singing  very  softly,  in  the  next  room,  be- 
yond that  shrunken  door  and  the  bulky  piece  of 
furniture.  It  is  a  bureau,  I  think,  with  a  mirror 
above  it  that  is  nearly  as  high  as  the  door. 

She  was  singing  "  Aus  Meinen  Grossen 
Schmerzen"  of  Robert  Franz,  that  saddest  and 
most  exquisite  of  German  lieder.  The  voice  is  a 
full,  even  soprano.  It  is  a  big  voice,  I  am  sure, 
though  she  sang  so  softly.  The  impression  I  re- 
ceived was  that  she  was  carefully  holding  it  down 
to  a  pianissimo.  It  is,  I  should  say,  a  remarkable 
organ.  Even  in  her  softest  voice  there  is  what  the 
great  singers  call  an  "edge" — that  firm,  fine 
resonance  that  will  send  the  lightest  thread  of  tone 
floating  out  over  all  the  volume  of  sound  of  a  full 
orchestra. 

She  sang  the  little  song  with  a  tone  color  of 
poignant  sadness  —  as  if  her  heart  were  throbbing 

66 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

with  all  the  sorrow  of  the  world,  and  yet  as  if 
she  could  not  keep  from  singing.  She  has  plainly 
studied  much.  The  impulse  to  sing  and  the  habit 
of  singing  are  strong  within  her. 

But  the  voice,  so  beautiful  and  under  such  fine 
control,  was  not  what  suddenly  caused  me  to  leap 
up  from  my  chair  and  tiptoe  to  that  rather  useless 
door,  and  then  to  turn  to  my  kit-bag  and  fumble 
wildly  for  my  tuning-fork.  No;  what  excited  me 
—  for  it  did  excite  me  out  of  all  reason  —  was  her 
sense  of  pitch.  The  mezzo-soprano  or  baritone 
transposition  of  that  Franz  song  is  in  the  key  of 
/-major,  ending  in  {/-minor.  I  stood  by  her  door, 
the  c-fork  resting  lightly  against  my  teeth,  wait- 
ing for  that  lovely  voice  to  descend  the  final  minor 
third,  linger,  tenderly  and  sadly,  on  the  d.  Then 
I  bit  the  fork.  She  was  singing  a  perfect  d.  Cer- 
tainly there  was  no  piano  in  any  of  these  miser- 
able little  rooms.  And  she  had  employed  no  other 
instrument;  she  had  simply  and  naturally  broken 
into  song  because  she  could  not  help  singing.  She 
has  absolute  pitch! 

The  great  regret  of  my  life  is  that  my  own 
sense  of  pitch  is  not  absolute.  It  is  very  nearly 
but  not  quite  perfect,  despite  my  extremely  deli- 
cate ear  for  close  intervals.  Yet  this  young  woman, 
who  to  my  own  knowledge  has  not  sung  a  note  for 

67 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

several  days,  and  who  can  not  conceivably  have 
heard  any  Occidental  music  whatever,  breaks  into 
song,  and  casually  and  unconsciously  employs  the 
correct  pitch  to  the  twentieth  part  of  a  tone. 

My  first  thought  was  that  it  might  be  an  acci- 
dent. So  I  waited,  tuning-fork  in  hand. 

Having  begun  to  sing,  of  course  she  could  not 
stop.  I  am  thinking  now  that  probably  it  was 
the  first  time  she  had  released  her  voice  for  a  con- 
siderable period,  and  that  at  last  she  simply  could 
not  help  making  use  of  what  was  the  natural  outlet 
for  her  emotions. 

She  next  hummed  a  few  bars  of  "  Im  Herbst," 
also  by  Franz.  Evidently  she  is  fond  of  the  work 
of  this  fine  lyric  composer.  This  is  in  the  key  of 
r-minor.  Again  I  tested  her  with  my  tuning- 
fork,  and  again  she  was  correct  to  the  minutest 
shade  of  a  tone.  Her  voice  had  leaped  the  in- 
terval between  the  two  keys  apparently  without  a 
conscious  thought  on  her  own  part. 

This  second  song  perhaps  failed  as  a  vehicle  for 
her  mood ;  at  any  rate,  she  stopped  it  abruptly,  and 
was  silent  for  a  time.  Standing  there  close  to  the 
door,  I  could  hear  her  moving  about  with  light, 
restless  feet.  Myself,  I  held  my  breath  at  mo- 
ments. Then  the  sound  of  her  footsteps  ceased, 
and  there  was  a  sudden  creaking  sound,  as  if  she 

68 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

had  thrown  herself  upon  the  bed.  But  still  I 
waited,  breathless,  balancing  there  with  my  left 
hand  against  the  door-frame,  the  right  clutching 
the  tuning-fork.  I  was  sure  she  would  sing  again. 

She  did.  But  it  must  have  been  after  quite  a 
long  time,  for  I  realized  afterward  that  my  feet 
ached  and  that  the  arm  I  held  up  against  the  door 
frame  had,  as  we  say,  gone  to  sleep. 

Finally  there  came  another  creaking.  She  was 
getting  up.  Doubtless  she  was  quite  too  restless 
to  lie  down  long.  Again  I  heard  the  quick,  light 
sound  of  her  feet  moving  about  the  room.  Then 
the  voice  again.  And  again  it  was  that  saddest 
and  most  exquisite  of  songs. 

"  Aus  meinen  grossen  Schmersen 
Mach'   ich  die  kleine  Lieder  .  .  ." 

she  sang,  very  low.  I  felt  nearly  certain  that  she 
had  slipped  naturally  back  into  the  key  of  /-major, 
but  not  absolutely  certain. 

It  was  disturbing,  this  partial  uncertainty  on  my 
part.  No  person  in  the  world  —  not  a  single  living 
being  —  has  quite  so  great  a  need  for  absolute 
pitch  as  I.  With  that,  coupled  with  my  ear  for 
intervals,  I  would  stand  as  the  one  scholar  per- 
fectly equipped  for  my  own  line  of  investigation. 
As  it  is,  I  am  not  unlike  an  astronomer  with  en- 

69 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

thusiasm,  exhaustive  knowledge,  a  fine  mathemat- 
ical brain,  and  a  marvelous  seeing  eye,  but  with  a 
very  slight  —  oh,  very  slight  —  touch  of  color- 
blindness. And  I  never  before  missed  this  one 
attribute  quite  so  keenly  as  I  miss  it  now,  out  here 
on  the  ground  for  the  great  first-hand  investiga- 
tion of  my  whole  life. 

So  at  last  I  had  to  give  up  my  effort  to  place 
precisely  the  key  in  which  she  was  singing,  and 
sound  the  fork.  As  I  supposed,  she  was  right 
again.  There  was  no  doubt  now.  Not  the  slight- 
est. As  I  have  already  written  down,  she  has  it 
— -a,  sheer,  prodigal  gift  of  nature.  And,  of 
course,  it  is  of  no  particular  value  to  her.  She 
is  not  even,  at  present,  a  professional  singer ;  and, 
if  she  were,  she  could  do  very  well  without  this 
precise  gift  ...  I  have  supposed  for  years 
that  I  had  a  philosophy.  I  long  ago  realized  that 
to  waste  time  and  tissue  in  concerning  myself  with 
the  one  defect  in  my  equipment  would  be  simply 
by  that  much  to  impair  my  actual  effectiveness. 
But  to-day  my  philosophy  failed  me,  as  I  thought 
of  that  sad  little  woman  who  has  what  I  lack,  and 
who  does  not  need  it.  I  even  had  a  wild  notion 
of  knocking  on  the  door  and  making  myself  known 
to  he*. 

As  for  what  actually  did  follow,  I  think  I  will 
70 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

try  to  set  down  just  as  simply  and  naturally  as  I 
can,  reconstructing  the  curious  scene  more  or  less 
coolly  as  I  recall  it  now,  with  my  excitement  spent 
and  my  mind  reasonably  steady.  That  is  surely 
the  best  way,  in  the  case  of  such  an  extraordinary 
occurrence  —  just  write  it  down  and  let  it  go  at 
that. 

She  was  silent  for  a  little  time,  perhaps  standing 
at  her  dresser.  I  wonder  if  it  is  like  mine,  a 
rickety  chest  of  drawers,  sadly  in  need  of  paint, 
with  a  narrow  mirror  above  it.  My  mirror  is 
broken  in  the  right-hand  lower  corner ;  and  at  that 
point  I  see,  instead  of  the  reflection  of  the  dingy, 
room,  only  an  irregular  triangle  of  pine  backing. 
I  should  like  to  think  that  hers  is  at  least  a  little 
fresher  and  brighter,  and  that  the  mirror  is  not 
broken.  These  things  mean  a  great  deal  to  a 
woman,  I  think.  I  might  have  observed  all  this 
for  myself,  doubtless;  but  at  the  moment  I  was 
too  full  of  the  thrill  of  my  discovery  to  indulge 
in  a  single  personal  thought. 

I  was  still  standing  there  by  the  door,  my  left 
hand  quite  numb,  my  feet  a  little  cold  from  re- 
maining motionless  so  long,  when  she  began  lightly 
to  run  over  those  remarkable  exercises  of  hers. 

She  began  by  striking  octaves.  Her  voice  flew 
ever  so  lightly,  yet  firmly  and  surely,  from  lower 

71 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

a  to  middle  a  to  upper  a.  Then  the  two  octaves 
of  a-sharp.  Then  b.  And  so  on,  until  she  was 
touching,  in  that  same  light,  sure  way,  the  d- 
sharp  above  high  c. 

Next  she  sang  an  ordinary  chromatic  scale,  no 
differently  from  the  performance  of  other  singers 
I  have  heard  excepting  perhaps  for  the  remarkable 
evenness  and  firmness  and  pure,  floating  quality 
of  her  pianissimo  tone.  It  was  after  all  this  that 
the  remarkable  gift  that  amazed  me  came  to  light. 

She  returned  to  singing  octaves.  Only,  as  if 
testing  and  trying  her  own  precision  of  pitch,  she 
began  striking  the  upper  octave  note,  in  making 
the  leap  from  the  lower  to  the  higher,  first  cor- 
rectly according  to  the  accepted  tempered  scale  of 
the  Western  world,  then  a  fraction  of  a  tone  flat, 
then  a  fraction  of  a  tone  sharp,  then  back  to  the 
normal  octave.  She  played  with  these  fractional 
tones  as  easily  and  surely  as  the  ordinary  good 
singer  plays  with  mere  semitones.  She  actually 
took  them  in  succession,  quite  as  easily  as  she  had, 
a  little  earlier,  taken  the  semitones  of  the  chro- 
matic scale. 

This  was  too  much.  I  could  not  stand  still  any 
longer.  In  all  my  experience  I  had  never  found 
a  white  person  with  anything  approaching  my 
fineness  of  ear  in  merely  hearing  close  intervals. 

72 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

But  I  can  not  sing  them  as  I  hear  and  know  them. 
I  have  no  voice  at  all;  my  vocal  chords  will  not 
obey  my  will  with  any  degree  of  precision.  Yet 
here,  in  this  queer,  rather  unpleasant  little  French 
hotel  in  the  great,  barbaric  city  of  Peking,  in  the 
next  room  to  mine,  is  an  American  woman  who 
can  actually  sing  the  intervals  that  I  can  only  hear. 

I  knocked  on  the  door. 

There  was  instant  and  utter  silence  in  the  next 
room. 

I  knocked  again. 

She  must  have  been  holding  her  breath.  I  could 
not  hear  so  much  as  the  rustle  of  her  skirt. 

I  spoke,  in  what  I  suppose  was  an  excited  whis- 
per. 

"  Please  let  me  speak  with  you,"  I  said. 
"  Please  let  me  speak  with  you ! " 

Still  no  sound. 

Then  it  was  that  I  opened  the  door  —  the 
shrunken  door  that  would  not  lock. 


73 


Hotel  de  Chine,  Peking,  April  5th  —  or  6th. 
'fTT^  IS   sometime  in  the  very  early  morning. 

J[  Peking  is  still.  Even  in  this  rookery  of 
night  birds  every  light  is  out  but  mine.  I  had  to 
stop  writing  a  while  back  and  go  for  a  long  hard 
walk  —  around  the  Legation  Quarter,  outside  the 
walls.  But  now  I  shall  force  myself  to  write 
down  the  rest  of  it.  I  shall  not  go  to  bed  until 
it  is  done.  It  is  too  absurd  that  a  scientist  of 
proved  ability  and  of  highly  trained  will  power 
should  be  overcome  by  his  emotions  in  this  way. 

I  have  just  tiptoed  to  the  shrunken  door  that 
so  inadequately  separates  her  room  from  mine.  I 
heard  her  irregular  breathing;  and,  while  I  stood 
there,  caught  a  low  jumble  of  words  spoken  with 
the  thick  tongue  of  the  sleeper. 

And  she  stirs  restlessly  in  her  bed.  Even  from 
my  chair  I  can  hear  that. 

But  I  must  tell  what  happened  this  afternoon. 

I  opened  her  door.     I  was  quite  beside  myself. 

Behind  it,  not  quite  blocking  off  the  opening,  the 

unpainted,  dusty  back  of  her  bureau  confronted 

74 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

me.  I  looked  through  the  narrow  space  between 
the  mirror  post  and  the  door  frame,  and  saw  her. 

She  was  standing  by  the  foot  of  the  bed. 

I  laid  hands  on  the  creaky  old  bureau  and  moved 
it  aside.  It  was  heavy,  and  it  had  no  castors. 
I  had  to  exert  all  my  strength,  tugging  and  push- 
ing at  it.  Then  I  had  to  wait  a  moment  to  recover 
my  breath. 

She  was  standing  rigidly,  very  white,  holding 
with  one  hand  to  the  bent  iron  tube  over  the  foot 
of  the  little  bed.  She  has  long,  slender  fingers. 

She  never  moved.  Her  wide  eyes  were  fixed 
on  me. 

The  sweat  was  breaking  out  on  my  forehead. 
A  drop  fell  on  the  right  lens  of  my  spectacles.  I 
took  them  off  and  fumbled  for  my  handkerchief. 
Then  I  said  — 

"  You  have  absolute  pitch !  " 

She  did  not  move  or  speak. 

"  But  that  is  not  all,"  I  went  on,  more  rapidly. 
"  You  have  the  finest  sense  of  intervals  of  any 
one  in  the  world.  Excepting  myself." 

Her  eyes  narrowed  a  very  little.  And  she 
glanced  toward  the  other  door,  the  one  that  led 
into  the  hall.  It  seemed  to  me  that  her  tense 
muscles  relaxed  somewhat. 

But  when  I  had  put  on  my  spectacles  and,  now 

75 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

quite  myself,  came  forward  into  the  room,  she 
swung  back  a  step  and  flashed  her  eyes  on  me 
again.  And  I  saw  her  fingers  tighten  around  the 
iron  tube  at  the  foot  of  the  bed. 

This  would  n't  do.  I  had  frightened  her  dread- 
fully. Of  course  she  could  n't  possibly  know  how 
mistaken  she  was  in  this.  The  thing  to  do  was 
to  explain  everything  to  her. 

"  My  name  is  Eckhart,  Anthony  Ives  Eckhart," 
I  began;  then  paused,  thinking  that  she,  being  a 
musical  person,  might  have  heard  the  name.  But 
there  was  no  light  of  recognition  in  her  eyes. 

"  You  can  not  imagine  what  it  means  to  me  to 
find  you,"  I  went  on.  It  seemed  to  me  that  from 
moment  to  moment  she  was  on  the  point  of  in- 
terrupting me,  so  I  talked  very  rapidly,  trying  at 
the  same  time  to  make  my  voice  and  manner  as 
easy  and  matter-of-fact  as  possible. 

"  I  have  come  all  the  way  to  China  to  make 
phonographic  records  of  Chinese  music.  I  shall 
make  at  least  two  thousand  such  records,  and 
when  I  have  finished  my  work  will  be  recognized 
as  the  one  great  contribution  to  the  study  of  the 
Oriental  tone  sense.  For  I  shall  secure  and  pre- 
serve on  my  cylinders  the  primitive  scale  inter- 
vals that  underlie  all  natural  musical  expression." 

For  some  reason  this  explanation  did  not  seem 
76 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

to  get  me  anywhere.  Excepting  that  now  she 
looked  bewildered  as  well  as  frightened.  But  I 
could  not  retreat.  For  here  before  me  was  a 
woman  who  had  the  great  gift  and  who  could  un- 
derstand. At  this  thought  my  mind  began  ra- 
cing excitedly  ahead.  I  thought  of  what  she  could 
do  for  me.  And  it  was  so  absurdly  simple,  so 
little  to  ask !  My  forehead  was  burning  now,  and 
the  hand  that  pressed  the  handkerchief  against  it 
was  shaking  perceptibly.  It  was  a  great  moment 
—  the  greatest,  perhaps,  in  my  life. 

"  God  has  sent  you  to  me !  "  I  cried,  my  voice 
rising  and  becoming  shrill.  "  I  must  make  you 
understand !  " 

She  was  glancing  again  toward  the  hall  door. 
I  could  n't  make  her  out  at  all.  But  I  lowered  my 
voice. 

"  I  must  make  you  understand,"  I  repeated. 
"  To-day,  at  the  very  beginning  of  my  work,  I 
find  you.  I  need  you  more  than  anything  else  in 
the  world  —  and  right  now.  Yet  an  hour  ago  I 
did  not  know  you  existed.  It  is  unbelievable. 
It  is  a  miracle!  I  must  have  ai  phonographic 
record  of  a  close-interval  scale.  For  years  I  have 
dreamed  of  securing  one.  I  myself  can  hear  the 
closest  intervals,  but  I  can  not  sing  them.  Now 
you  —  you  —  shall  sing  this  scale  for  me  —  not 

77 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  artificial  half-tones  of  our  barbarous  piano 
keyboard,  but  quarter-tones,  even  eighth-tones. 
With  such  a  scale,  the  sounds  recorded  unerringly 
on  a  cylinder  from  which  they  can  be  reproduced 
at  will,  we  shall  at  last  have  an  absolute  standard 
for  the  comparison  of  all  tones  and  scales.  Tell 
me  " —  I  was  trembling  with  eagerness  —  -  "do 
you  think  you  could  sing  eighth-tones?  Do  you 
think  you  could?  " 

She  just  stood  there. 

"  But  you  must  do  this !  "  I  cried.  "  You  have 
no  right  to  withhold  such  a  gift!  God  has  sent 
you  to  me,  and  I  shall  use  you.  It  will  take  a 
little  time,  but  we  shall  practise,  practise,  practise ! 
There  will  be  failures,  but  we  shall  be  patient. 
My  life  work  is  to  be  a  true  science  at  last.  They 
can  no  longer  say  that  it  depends  on  the  caprice 
of  a  single  human  ear.  They  shall  now  hear  for 
themselves,  they  shall  make  their  own  compari- 
sons, working  with  our  absolute  phonographic 
scale.  Who  knows,  perhaps  we  shall  yet  make  the 
final  perfect  scale  of  eighty-one  distinct  notes  to 
the  octave.  No  voice  has  yet  done  that.  And  no 
violin.  For  no  living  performer  has  the  delicacy 
of  ear  and  muscle." 

I  began  chuckling  excitedly  at  this  thought.  I 
admit  that  my  condition  bordered  on  hysteria ;  but 

78 


has  not  a  man  the  right  to  be  very  slightly  hyster- 
ical in  the  great  moment  of  his  life? 

"  We  shall  make  many  records,"  I  said  to  her, 
mopping  my  wet  forehead.  "  Von  Stumbostel 
shall  have  one,  in  Berlin  —  and  Boag.  Ramel 
and  Fourmont  shall  have  them,  at  Paris.  And  de 
Musseau,  at  the  Sorbonne.  And  Sir  Frederick 
Rhodes,  at  Cambridge.  The  new  scale  record 
shall  be  the  basis  of  volume  six  —  on  "True  In- 
tervals and  Natural  Song."  One  copy  I  'shall  seal 
in  a  metal  tube  for  preservation  at  the  British 
Museum,  together  with  my  other  records.  And 
—  yes,  I  shall  send  one  to  that  miserable  little 
von  Westfall,  of  Bonn.  I  shall  silence  him.  I 
shall  crush  him.  It  will  amuse  me  to  do  that." 

I  stopped,  all  glowing. 

She  looked  at  me  until  her  lids  drooped,  and  I 
could  see  her  long  lashes  against  the  whiteness  of 
her  skin. 

She  fell  back  a  step,  hesitating,  and  shrinking  a 
little,  still  clinging  to  the  foot  of  the  bed,  and 
made  a  listless  gesture  with  her  left  hand. 

"  You  have  broken  into  my  room,"  she  said, 
steadily  enough,  but  very  low. 

Women  are  literal. 

But  it  was  so.  I  had  done  just  that.  Doubtless 
it  was  an  outrageous  thing  to  do;  but  it  had  not 

79 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

seemed  outrageous.  It  had  come  about  quite 
naturally. 

Still,  she  confused  me.  I  had  been  talking 
volubly;  now,  all  of  a  sudden,  I  could  not  speak 
at  all.  For  the  first  time  I  fully  realized  how 
pale  she  was.  And  she  looked  tired  about  the 
eyes,  where  nervous  exhaustion  always  shows  first. 
It  occurred  to  me,  too,  that  her  eyes  were  very 
blue  and  distinctly  beautiful.  I  never  saw  longer 
lashes. 

So  I  stood  stupidly  there,  looking  at  her.  I  had 
flown  too  high.  Now  my  spirits  were  dropping 
fast  into  a  pit  of  depression.  She  suddenly  ap- 
peared to  me  as  a  helpless,  pitiful  creature.  God 
knows  there  was  little  enough  privacy  for  her  in 
this  shabby  hotel  with  its  thin  partitions  and  its 
ill-fitting  doors  and  its  drifting,  dubious  class  of 
guests;  and  what  little  privacy  she  had  I  had  vio- 
lated. I  looked  at  the  dilapidated  bureau  that  had 
stood  across  our  common  door.  It  had  taken  all 
my  strength  to  push  it  aside.  I  wondered  if  she 
herself  had  moved  it  there.  What  a  pitiful  ef- 
fort, if  she  had,  to  shield  her  tired,  hunted  soul 
from  intrusion ! 

"  Will  you  please  go !  "  she  breathed. 

I  am  afraid  this  nettled  me  a  little.  At  least, 
my  coming  in  that  wild  way  had  not  been  a  per- 

80 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

sonal  matter.  I  had  tried  to  make  that  much 
plain  to  her.  Then  why  make  it  so  personal !  But 
that,  of  course,  is  the  woman  of  it.  And  God 
knows  I  was  wrong  —  all  wrong. 

"  Will  you  please  go ! "  she  breathed  again. 

I  bowed  and  turned  to  the  door.  But  then  it 
occurred  to  me  as  likely  that  I  would  no  more 
than  get  my  door  closed  before  she  would  be  in 
a  frantic  hurry  to  move  the  bureau  back.  And 
that  bureau  was  too  heavy  for  her,  or  for  any 
woman.  It  was  almost  too  heavy  for  me. 

So  I  stepped  back  into  her  room  and  began 
tugging  at  the  bureau  again.  When  I  saw  the 
fresh  concern  on  her  face,  I  nodded  toward  the 
hall  door  and  said,  "  I  '11  go  out  that  way." 

She  understood  this.  She  even  came  over  and 
watched  me  as  I  \vorked  at  the  thing.  It  would  n't 
move.  Having  no  castors,  the  feet  had  caught 
in  the  matting.  I  went  to  the  other  end  and 
pushed,  but  only  succeeded  in  tipping  it  up,  and 
spilling  several  articles  to  the  floor.  I  let  the 
bureau  drop,  and  went  down  on  my  knees  to  pick 
them  up.  There  was  a  hair  brush  and  a  nail 
buffer,  both  with  heavy  silver  backs  bearing  the 
initials  "  H.  C."  Then  there  was  a  small  bottle 
with  a  glass  stopper  that  came  out  and  let  the 
contents  of  the  bottle  run  over  the  matting.  And 

81 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

there  was  a  wide  tortoise-shell  comb,  of  the  sort 
that  you  pick  up  at  Nagasaki. 

I  put  all  these  things  back  on  the  bureau,  and 
pushed  again.  She  stood  beside  me  in  apparent 
hesitation,  then,  as  if  on  an  impulse,  caught  hold 
and  pulled  with  me.  But  it  was  no  use.  The 
matting  was  by  this  time  hopelessly  wrinkled  up 
about  the  feet.  And  after  a  moment  of  this  we 
both  stepped  back  and  looked  at  it.  I  simply  had 
to  stop  anyway  and  mop  off  my  forehead  and  wipe 
my  spectacles.  I  was  all  out  of  breath. 

Then,  after  a  moment,  I  took  off  my  coat  and 
dropped  it  on  a  chair. 

"If  you  don't  mind  helping  once  more,"  I  be- 
gan—- 
She inclined  her  head. 

" —  I  '11  have  to  lift  it  over  those  wrinkles." 
So  I  caught  hold  and  lifted  with  all  my  strength. 
She  went  around  to  the  other  side  and  threw  her 
weight   against   it.     Together   we   finally   got   it 
back  squarely  across  the  doorway. 

"  I  've  made  you  a  great  deal  of  trouble,"  I  said, 
"  and  I  'm  sorry."  I  could  n't  resist  adding  the 
question,  "  Did  you  move  it  here  before,  by  your- 
self?" 

She  looked  at  me;  then,  slowly  and  guardedly, 
nodded. 

82 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  shook  my  head,  ruefully  I  think.  "  You  are 
a  strong  woman." 

"  No,"  she  said,  without  any  change  of  expres- 
sion, with  not  the  slightest  animation  of  manner, 
"  but  it  did  n't  catch  in  the  matting  that  time." 

I  walked  toward  the  door,  with  my  coat  thrown 
over  my  arm.  It  was  hard  to  go  away  like  that 
I  wonder  why  it  is  that  I  seem  always  to  be  walk- 
ing away  from  women. 

At  the  door  I  turned  and  glanced  back  at  her. 
She  was  still  there  by  the  bureau,  watching  me  go. 
I  felt  that  she  was  looking  rather  intently  at  the 
coat  on  my  arm,  and  it  suddenly  occurred  to  me 
that  I  must  not  leave  her  room  like  that,  in  my 
shirt  sleeves.  I  felt  the  color  come  rushing  to  my 
face  as  I  struggled  into  the  coat. 

I  have  read  in  works  on  the  psychology  of 
women  that  they  often  tell  with  a  look  what  they 
are  unable  or  unwilling  to  frame  in  spoken  words. 
Certainly  I  knew  that  she  had  told  me  to  put  my 
coat  on,  and  she  knew  that  I  had  understood. 
And  so,  even  as  she  drove  me  out  of  her  room 
there  was  an  understanding  between  us  that  was 
not  wanting  in  subtlety.  She  had  even  asked  me 
to  make  an  effort  to  protect  her;  and  she  was  no 
longer  angry. 

I  had  my  coat  on  now,  and  was  reaching  for 
83 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  door  knob  when  a  sound  outside  arrested  my 
hand.  Men  were  coming  up  the  stairs  to  our 
hall. 

She  heard  them  too.  She  was  rigid  again,  her 
hand  resting  on  the  bureau. 

I  could  hear  the  Chinese  porter  talking  pidgin- 
English  as  he  came  along  the  hall.  Behind  him 
sounded  a  ponderous  step.  Then  came  another 
voice,  as  the  heavy  step  paused  right  near  us  —  at 
my  door,  I  thought. 

"  Here,  boy,  this  is  number  nineteen." 

It  was  a  loose  throaty  voice,  unlike  any  other 
in  the  wide  world.  I  should  have  recognized  it 
anywhere,  in  a  drawing-room  or  blindfolded  at 
the  bottom  of  a  mine.  It  brought  rushing  to  my 
mind  pictures  of  a  ship's  smoking-room  where 
sat  an  old  man  with  a  wrinkled  skin  and  one 
drooping  eyelid  who  held  forth  on  every  subject 
known  to  man  —  pictures  of  the  absurdly  Anglo- 
Saxon  hotel  at  Yokohama,  and  of  a  strange  even- 
ing at  the  notorious  "  Number  Nine  "  where  an 
old  man  had  smiled  cynically  at  me. 

Sir  Robert  had  arrived  at  Peking.  He  had 
come  to  this  hotel.  He  was  to  occupy  room  num- 
ber nineteen,  directly  opposite  the  closed  door  be- 
hind which  I  stood,  motionless,  breathless. 

I  felt  momentarily  ill.  Which  was  foolish. 
84 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

For  what  is  he  to  me  or  I  to  him!  But  he  had 
stirred  a  confusion  of  thoughts  in  my  rnind.  I 
saw  the  face  of  another  man  —  a  strong  face, 
even  when  flushed  with  drink  —  I  saw  that  face 
with  tears  on  it,  working  convulsively.  And  di- 
rectly behind  me  stood  the  woman.  There  she 
was,  and  there,  with  her,  was  I  myself.  I  felt 
the  strange,  rushing  drama  of  life  whirling  about 
me.  I  suddenly  knew  that  every  man  is  entangled 
in  it  —  and  every  woman.  .  .  .  Oh,  God,  why  does 
she  have  to  be  so  beautiful!  And  so  terribly 
alone ! 

The  porter  was  opening  the  door  of  number  nine- 
teen, just  across  the  hall.  Sir  Robert  was  still  at 
my  door,  swearing  to  himself. 

"  Number  nineteen  this  side,"  the  porter  was 
saying.  "  Tha'  number  sixteen." 

So  Sir  Robert  came  heavily  along  the  hall  and 
entered  the  opposite  room.  We,  the  woman  and 
I,  heard  the  porter  set  down  his  hand  baggage. 
.We  heard  him  order  hot  water.  We  heard  the 
door  close  and  the  porter  rustle  away  in  his  robe 
and  his  soft  Chinese  shoes  and  go  off  down  the 
stairs. 

Then,  hardly  knowing  what  I  was  about,  I 
reached  for  the  knob.  But  she  came  swiftly  across 
the  floor  and  caught  it  ahead  of  me,  holding  the 

85 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

door  shut.  Our  hands  touched.  She  looked  very 
lovely,  and  very  tired.  My  eyes  wandered  aim- 
lessly over  the  kimono  she  wore,  of  gray  crepe  silk. 
It  was  embroidered  from  neck  to  hem  in  a  wistaria 
pattern  of  the  same  soft  gray  color.  I  never  saw 
such  exquisite  embroidery. 

"  Don't  go  out  there,"  she  said,  low  but  very  pos- 
itive. 

"But,"  I  whispered  lamely,  "but  —  but — " 

"  The  other  door,"  she  said. 

So  we  went  back  and  moved  that  cursed  bureau 
again.  It  was  even  more  of  a  task  this  time,  as 
we  had  to  be  careful  about  making  any  noise. 

Again  I  lingered  in  our  common  doorway. 

"  Do  you  know  that  man  ? "  I  asked,  in  the 
guarded  tones  we  were  both  employing  now. 

"  No,"  she  replied  simply,  "  but  it  is  quite  evi- 
dent that  you  do." 

Still  I  lingered.  And  she  did  not  drive  me  out. 
She  quietly  busied  herself  rearranging  the  innum- 
erable little  articles  on  the  bureau.  She  was  very 
natural  and  unconscious  about  it.  There  was 
no  hint  in  her  manner  that  she  was  aware  of  the 
curious  interest  I  felt  in  all  those  intimate  little 
accessories  of  her  life.  Though  I  find  myself  won- 
dering if  my  crudely  concealed  masculine  emotions 
are  not  an  open  book  to  her,  even  so  soon.  The 

86 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

perceptions  of  women  are  finer  than  ours.  I  have 
read  that  in  the  psychology  books,  and  I  believe  it. 
They  feel  more  deeply  and  see  farther.  And  it 
is  when  they  feel  most  deeply  and  see  farthest 
that  they  do  and  say  the  inconsequential  little 
things  that  puzzle  us  so. 

She  had  the  bureau  arranged  to  her  taste  now, 
and  moved  slowly  over  toward  the  round  table 
with  the  bent  iron  legs.  There  were  a  few  books 
on  this  table  —  a  little  red  "  Guide  to  Peking," 
Murray's  "  Japan,"  Dyer  Ball's  "  Things  Chinese  " 
-  her  shopping  bag,  her  wrist  watch  propped  up 
to  serve  as  a  clock,  and  the  inevitable  ash-tray  ad- 
vertising a  Japanese  whisky. 

Still  I  lingered  there,  half  in  her  room,  half  in 
mine.  She  did  not  look  at  me.  She  hesitated 
at  the  table  and  fingered  that  absurdly  vulgar  little 
ash-tray.  For  the  life  of  me  I  could  not  divine 
what  she  was  thinking  or  what  she  wished  me  to 
do.  I  had  meant  to  go  straight  into  my  own 
room  and  close  the  door.  But  I  had  done  nothing 
of  the  sort. 

It  came  to  me  that  perhaps  she  was  ready  to 
have  me  pick  up  the  shattered  mood  of  my  musi- 
cal enthusiasm  and  carry  it  forward.  Perhaps  she 
would  respond  to  it  now.  But  I  could  not  recon- 
struct that  mood.  In  a  desperate  sort  of  way  I 

87 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

was  trying  from  moment  to  moment  to  do  precisely 
that,  and  failing.  For  across  my  mental  vision 
was  floating,  tantalizingly  vague,  the  flushed  des- 
perate face  of  Crocker,  as  I  had  last  seen  him,  at 
the  Yokohama  station.  If  this  girl  only  knew  it, 
we  have  a  common  interest  that  binds  us  a  million 
times  closer  than  the  mere  gift  we  both  have. 

I  see  I  have  called  her  a  girl.  She  seemed  so  to 
me  at  that  moment,  standing  there  by  the  crooked- 
legged  table,  slim  of  body,  softly,  appealingly 
feminine  in  her  outlines.  I  found  myself  think- 
ing how  lonely  she  must  be,  and  what  terrors  must 
lurk  ambushed  in  the  byways  of  her  thoughts,  par- 
ticularly at  night.  I  fell  to  wondering  about  the 
man  who  had  brought  her  out  here  and  left  her. 
Where  was  he?  Did  he  leave  her  any  money? 
Not  a  great  deal,  surely,  or  she  would  not  be  liv- 
ing in  this  shabby  place.  And  yet,  sad  as  she  is, 
she  does  not  know  what  I  know!  I  am  sure  of 
that.  She  did  not  see  Crocker's  face,  there  at 
the  Yokohama  station.  She  does  not  dream  that 
he  is  scouring  the  Coast  for  her  from  Mukden  to 
Singapore  —  that  in  his  heart,  where  pity  should 
be,  there  is  outraged  pride,  and  the  exhausting 
bewilderment  of  a  man  who  has  only  a  code  where 
he  should  have  been  taught  a  philosophy  —  and 
murder. 

88 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

This  world  is  hard  on  women.  Perhaps  be- 
cause we  men  run  it. 

I  slowly  drew  my  foot  back  across  the  sill, 
moving  into  my  own  room.  I  hesitated  again, 
and  rested  a  trembling  hand  against  the  door 
frame. 

It  broke  my  heart  to  look  at  her,  yet  I  could 
not  keep  from  it.  I  wanted  to  help  her.  I  wanted 
to  do  something.  I  even  thought  wildly  of  march- 
ing straight  over  to  that  crooked-legged  iron  table 
and  taking  her  two  hands  solidly  in  mine  and  say- 
ing — "  I  know  who  you  are,  my  dear,  and  I  can 
imagine  something  of  what  you  are  suffering.  I 
know  from  a  glimpse  of  you  that  not  one  of  the 
men  who  will  be  so  quick  to  cast  stones  at  you  is 
fit  to  touch  the  hem  of  your  skirt.  I  know,  too, 
that  no  man  can  so  much  as  befriend  you  without 
plunging  you  into  a  deeper  hell  of  suspicion  and 
torment  than  the  hell  you  are  in  now.  But  I  am 
your  friend,  and  all  I  ask  of  you  is  the  opportunity 
to  prove  it! " 

I  was  foolish  in  this,  of  course. 

Suddenly  she  lifted  her  head  and  looked  at  me. 

I  grew  red  all  at  once,  and  tried  to  swallow. 

We  were  quite  silent.  She  relieved  the  tension 
by  stepping  casually  away  from  the  table  and 
glancing  past  me  into  my  room. 

89 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"Is  that  your  phonograph  —  in  there?"  she 
asked,  her  voice  still  low,  and  now  a  thought 
husky. 

"  Yes,"  said  I.     "  You  must  have  heard  it." 

She  nodded  slowly.  "  Sometimes  it  sounded 
like  that,"  she  mused.  "  And  other  times  it  was 
like  music  a  long  way  off.  You  played  some  melo- 
dies on  a  Chinese  stringed  instrument.  They  were 
quaint." 

"  It  is  a  Japanese  instrument,"  I  corrected  ea- 
gerly. Then  I  became  confused,  and  knew  that  I 
was  turning  red  again.  The  story  of  those  Yoshi- 
wara  melodies  and  of  the  outcast  girl  who  had 
played  them  for  me  seemed  painfully  out  of  place 
here.  Not  for  anything  in  the  world  would  I 
have  told  that  commonplace  story  —  not  to  this 
slim  woman  with  the  sad,  honest  blue  eyes.  For 
we  do  not  tell  such  stories  to  women. 

"  You  spoke  of  the  piano  scale,"  she  went  on, 
in  that  musing  tone.  "  I  never  knew  before  that 
other  people  noticed  that.  Sometimes,  when  I  'm 
sitting  at  the  piano,  and  strike  one  of  the  black 
keys  after  playing  on  the  white,  I  can  hear  all 
around  it  —  overtones,  and  fractions  of  tones." 

"  Tell  me,"  I  said  — "  What  is  the  closest  inter- 
val you  have  ever  sung?  " 

She  slowly  shook  her  head.  "  I  don't  know. 
90 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

There  never  was  any  reason  for  trying.  And  then 
there  was  no  way  to  measure  fractional  tones." 

"  There  is  now,"  said  I,  emphatically.  "  My 
ear.  Try  it.  We  shall  find  out.  First  give  me 
upper  c." 

I  got  out  my  tuning  fork,  and  struck  the  note 
after  her. 

"  Perfect  pitch  again !  "  I  cried. 

"  Oh,  yes,"  she  replied  listlessly,  "  I  can  always 
do  that." 

"  Now  take  the  closest  interval  you  can,  below 
the  c." 

She  did  so.  Then  the  next  —  and  the  next.  I 
would  not  permit  an  apportamento,  but  made  her 
separate  the  notes.  She  sang  three  distinct  notes 
between  the  c  and  the  ^-natural  that,  on  the  piano, 
is  the  next  step  down. 

I  clapped  my  hands. 

A  little  color  came  into  her  cheeks.  She  took 
a  deep  breath  and  kept  at  it.  Her  performance 
was  not  quite  perfect  —  she  got  in  only  two  clean 
notes  between  a  and  o-flat.  But  at  that  it  was 
easily  the  most  delicately  precise  bit  of  singing  I 
have  ever  heard.  She  played  with  those  close 
intervals  with  a  facility  that  was  amazing.  And 
barring  perhaps  Sembrich  and  the  earlier  Melba, 
I  have  never  heard  such  perfection  of  breath  con- 

91 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

trol  (Patti  doubtless  had  it,  but  I  never  heard  her). 

She  stepped  forward,  threw  her  shoulders  back 
(without  raising  them),  swung  up  on  the  balls  of 
her  feet,  and  with  a  fine  unself consciousness  spun 
out  those  light,  clear  threads  of  tone.  When  she 
breathed  it  was  with  a  quick  inhalation  that  ex- 
panded the  whole  upper  part  of  her  body  and  made 
you  forget  how  slim  she  had  seemed.  She  became 
for  the  moment  a  strong,  vibrant  creature  with  a 
light  in  her  eyes.  But  when  she  stopped  singing 
that  light  died  out. 

"  Come !  "  I  cried.  "  We  shall  get  this  down 
now.  We  shall  prove  it  on  the  phonograph.  We 
shall  settle  that  von  Westfall  beast  forever!" 

And  I  rushed  back  into  my  own  room  and  pre- 
pared the  instrument,  without  so  much  as  usher- 
ing her  in  first.  This  was  rude  of  me.  But  I 
have  admitted  I  was  not  quite  myself. 

Before  I  had  the  cylinder  on  and  the  horn  in 
position  she  followed.  She  stood  at  my  side, 
watching  my  hands  at  work.  I  felt  her  there,  so 
close,  and  was  elated.  I  can  not  describe  this  sen- 
sation. That  it  is  dangerous,  I  know  only  too 
well.  It  is  distinctly  a  tendency  to  be  resisted. 

On  second  thought,  I  decided  not  to  waste  any 
of  my  precious  cylinders  until  she  should  acquire 
a  reasonable  degree  of  certainty  with  the  delicate 

92 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

scale  that  was  our  goal.  I  explained  this  to  her, 
and  she  understood.  So  I  made  her  work  upward 
from  middle  c,  note  by  note,  employing  the  utmost 
care  to  keep  the  intervals  at  precisely  one-eighth 
of  a  tone.  Over  and  over  we  did  this.  It  called 
for  the  closest  concentration,  on  her  part  as  well 
as  mine.  I  found  a  sort  of  wild  happiness  spring- 
ing up  within  me  at  the  thought  that  this  woman 
has  the  rarest  of  all  qualities,  great  capacity  for 
work  and  for  the  enthusiasm  and  utter  self-ab- 
sorption that  enter  into  all  real  achievement.  I 
can  not  call  her  a  trained  worker.  I  would  not  go 
so  far  as  to  say  that  she  has  a  trained  mind.  She 
needs  guidance.  And  I  rather  imagine  that  fur- 
ther acquaintance  will  show  that  she  lacks  enter- 
prise. Women  of  fine  quality  and  great  capacity 
often  do,  I  think.  They  need  stimulus  and  leader- 
ship. Imagine  a  man  with  both  her  extraordinary 
gift  and  her  striking  personality  yet  stirred  by  no 
curiosity  to  explore  and  create !  "  There  never 
was  any  reason  for  trying,"  was  all  she  had  said 
to  that,  and  it  was  plainly  all  that  was  in  her  mind 
on  the  subject. 

Women  are  incomplete  creatures. 

But  —  come  to  think  of  it  —  so  are  men. 

Outside,  the  early  April  twilight  settled  down 
and  deepened  without  our  knowing  it.  It  was  she 

93 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

who  first  noted  the  fact.  I  was  writing  down  notes 
on  my  extra-ruled  paper  to  show  her  just  where 
she  had  repeatedly  missed  our  scale  by  a  fine 
fraction  of  a  tone,  and  she  was  bending  close  in 
the  effort  to  see.  Suddenly  she  sat  up,  drew  in  a 
quick  breath,  blinked  a  little,  then  reached  over 
and  switched  on  the  electric  light. 

This  act  broke  the  tension  of  our  work.  We 
talked  on  about  it  for  a  little  while,  planning  to  get 
at  it  again  in  the  morning.  After  a  time  she  rose. 
But  instead  of  going  into  her  own  room  she  moved 
over  to  the  window  and  looked  out  across  the  dim, 
tiled  roofs  of  the  Chinese  houses  toward  the  walls 
and  trees  of  the  Legation  Quarter  that  were  darkly 
outlined  against  a  glow  of  electric  light. 

I  had  lifted  her  momentarily  out  of  her  solitude. 
Now  she  dreaded  returning  to  it.  I  felt  this,  with 
a  glow  of  exultation  in  my  heart  that  frightened 
me.  But  my  impulses  were  too  strong  to-night  to 
be  governed  offhand.  I  followed  her  to  the 
window  and  stood  beside  her  looking  out,  while 
my  pulse  raced. 

"It's  a  wonderful  old  city,"  I  heard  myself 
saying. 

And  though  I  did  not  look  around,  I  knew  that 
she  inclined  her  head  by  way  of  reply. 

Then  for  quite  a  long  time  we  were  silent.  But 
94 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

my  muscles  were  tense.  There  was  a  suggestion 
gathering  head  in  my  mind  that  I  knew  had  to 
come  out  I  waited,  resisting  it  with  less  and  less 
vigor  from  moment  to  moment.  I  was  afraid  of 
it. 

Finally  it  came.  I  said,  "  I  wish  we  could  have 
dinner  here  together." 

Then  I  dug  my  nails  into  my  palms,  standing 
very  still  there,  and  tried  to  breathe. 

I  felt  her  relax,  and  move  a  little. 

"  I  am  not  hungry,"  she  said. 

After  a  minute,  as  I  still  waited,  she  added  — 
"  Though  I  don't  know  that  it  makes  any  differ- 
ence —  if  you  wish." 

"Of  course  not,"  said  I  clumsily — "just  hav- 
ing a  little  food  brought  in." 

So  I  rang  for  the  China  boy,  and  cleared  the 
phonograph  and  cylinders  and  papers  and  ash-tray 
off  my  little  iron  table,  and  we  had  dinner  there. 
Though  first  she  slipped  into  her  room,  drew  the 
door  to,  and  changed  from  her  gray  kimono  to 
a  simple  blue  frock  that  I  thought  very  becom- 
ing. 

After  the  meal,  we  sat  back  without  saying  any- 
thing in  particular  until  she  grew  restless,  and 
finally  pushed  her  chair  back. 

"  I   wish,"   said  I,   "  before  you  go,  that  you 

95 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

would  sing  that  Franz  song  again  for  me.  And  let 
your  voice  out  a  little.  I  want  to  hear  it." 

I  thought  her  eyes  grew  suddenly  moist.  But 
without  the  slightest  hesitation,  without  rising, 
even,  she  began  the  song  — "  Aus  Meinen  Grossen 
Schmerzen." 

But  she  was  still  holding  her  voice  in. 
"  Louder,"  I  urged.  "  Come,  come !  Sing !  " 

She  could  not  resist  my  appeal.  Out  came  the 
tones,  round  and  rich,  and  colored  with  the  in- 
expressible sorrow  that  is  the  life-breath  of  that 
exquisite  song. 

I  leaned  right  forward  on  the  table.  I  could 
not  take  my  eyes  from  her  broad  white  throat  and 
the  softly  rounded  chin  above  it  and  the  finely 
muscular  lips  that  framed  themselves  around  the 
tones  with  a  slight  flaring  out  that  suggested  the 
bell  of  a  trumpet. 

The  tears  came  flooding  to  my  eyes.  There  was 
timbre  in  that  voice,  and  a  wonderful  floating  yet 
firm  resonance.  When  it  swelled  out  in  the  climax 
I  could  feel  the  sound  vibrations  throbbing  against 
my  ear  drums.  Then  it  shrank  in  volume,  and 
died  down  until  the  song  ended  in  a  breathless 
sob  that  yet  was  perfect  music.  And  after  she 
had  done,  and  was  sitting  there  motionless,  brood- 
ing, with  downcast  face,  it  seemed  to  me  I  could 

96 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

still  hear  those  sad,  breathless  words,  and  could 
still  feel  that  gentle  throbbing  against  my  ear. 

"  You  have  learned  how  to  sing  that  song," 
said  I. 

"  Yes,"  she  replied,  "  I  have  learned  how  to  sing 
it" 

We  were  in  a  sort  of  poignant  dream  —  I  still 
gazing  at  her;  she  still  downcast,  with  the  light 
gone  out  of  her  eyes. 

Then,  directly  outside  my  door  in  the  hall,  we 
heard  a  man  clear  his  throat.  An  old  man,  un- 
mistakably. And  we  heard  heavy  footsteps 
creaking  slowly  off  toward  the  stairs.  God  knows 
how  long  he  had  been  listening  there ! 

She  said  nothing.  Merely  sat  with  her  hands 
in  her  lap.  But  she  seemed  to  me  to  go  limp. 
Certainly  her  face  grew  slowly  pale  until  it  was 
quite  white,  as  I  had  first  seen  it. 

"  I  should  have  known  better,"  I  muttered.  "  I 
am  a  fool !  " 

She  did  not  reply  at  once.  After  a  moment  she 
rose,  then  hesitated,  resting  a  hand  on  the  back 
of  her  chair.  And  her  eyelids  drooped  until  I 
could  see  the  long,  long  lashes  against  her  white 
skin. 

"  It  was  n't  your  fault,"  she  said,  very  low. 

She  moved  toward  her  own  room.  I  rose,  and 
97 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

followed  part  way.  "  The  morning  will  be  a  bet- 
ter time  —  to  work,"  I  managed  to  say.  "  It  will 
be  quieter  then." 

She  hesitated  in  the  doorway;  then  slowly  in- 
clined her  head,  as  if  in  assent.  It  seemed  to  me 
that  she  was  making  an  effort  to  smile. 

"  Good-night,"  she  murmured. 

"  Good-night,"  said  I. 

She  closed  the  door  after  her.  But  there  re- 
mained a  narrow  opening  where  the  upper  part  had 
shrunk  away  from  the  frame. 

I  stood  confused,  looking  about  my  room.  The 
table  was  still  cluttered  with  our  dinner  things. 
.  I  got  my  long  raincoat  out  of  the  wardrobe  that 
serves  me  for  a  closet.  I  unscrewed  a  fyook  from 
the  wardrobe  and,  climbing  on  a  chair,  screwed  it 
into  the  woodwork  directly  above  the  edge  of  the 
door.  Then  I  hung  my  raincoat  from  it.  Thus 
I  closed  that  narrow  opening  between  her  room  and 
mine. 


When  I  went  out  for  my  walk,  a  little  later,  I 
came  squarely  on  Sir  Robert.  He  was  standing 
at  one  end  of  the  clerk's  desk,  peering  through 
his  monocle  at  the  board  on  which  were  recorded 
the  names  and  room  numbers  of  the  guests. 

98 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

It  is  an  odd  and  frank  custom,  that.  It  is  doubt- 
less done  for  the  guidance  of  the  Chinese  servants, 
who  know  us  only  by  our  numbers. 

He  turned  and  met  me  squarely,  as  I  was  about 
to  walk  by. 

"  So,"  he  said,  wrinkling  up  his  face  into  a 
smile  and  pecking  at  me  with  his  monocle.  His 
left  eyelid  drooped  unpleasantly.  "  So  —  you,  my 
friend,  are  the  fortunate  inhabitant  of  number  six- 
teen. I  was  captivated  by  the  lady's  voice.  I  con- 
gratulate you  —  again."  Then,  still  smiling  as  he 
observed  my  rising  anger,  he  added  — "  But,  my 
dear  Eckhart,  you  must  not  look  at  me  as  if  I 
were  an  intruder  —  not  after  the  lady  has  sung 
like  that.  I  could  hardly  refuse  to  listen." 

He  grew  thoughtful,  and  looked  past  me  toward 
the  door.  "  Women  and  song ! "  he  mused. 
"Women  and  song!  .  .  .  You  are  a  sly  devil, 
Eckhart." 

He  turned,  raised  his  monocle,  and  again  studied 
the  board  —  with  an  insolence  that  was  calmness 
itself. 

He  was  searching  for  the  name  of  the  woman. 

I  grew  hot  all  over  as  I  stood  there  watching 
him.  In  a  moment  —  a  second  —  he  would  find 
it.  But  no,  he  was  looking  everywhere  on  the 
board  except  in  the  space  next  to  that  occupied 

99 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

by  my  name.  Clearly,  it  had  not  occurred  to  him 
to  look  there. 

I  moved  closer  and  peeped  over  his  shoulder.  I 
had  not  before  observed  this  board,  beyond  noting 
in  a  general  way  that  it  hung  here  by  the  clerk's 
desk.  I  found  myself  suddenly  wondering  if  she 
could  possibly  have  been  so  careless  — 

There  it  was  —  directly  under  mine.  Her  own 
name! 

Yes,  there  it  was  — "  Mrs.  H.  Crocker."  Why 
she  has  written  herself  down  so  irrevocably  I  can 
not  imagine.  In  her  dreadful  predicament  a  false 
name  is  so  clearly  indicated. 

Still,  come  to  think  of  it,  she  herself  does  not 
yet  know  how  dreadful  that  predicament  is.  I  had 
forgotten  that. 

I  wonder  if  it  is  that  she  consciously  and  de- 
liberately refuses  to  sail  under  false  colors.  Or 
if,  as  is  possible,  it  never  occurred  to  her. 

Sir  Robert's  eyes  were  still  searching  the  board. 
They  had  traversed  two  rows  of  names.  They 
were  now  moving  up  the  third  row,  closer  and 
closer  to  numbers  sixteen  and  eighteen. 

Then  I  saw  him  start.  He  had  found  it.  He 
lowered  his  monocle  and  carefully  wiped  it  with 
the  handkerchief  that  he  kept  in  his  sleeve 
Then  he  leaned  forward  and  looked  again. 

100 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  heard  him  give  a  low  whistle  of  sheer  surprise. 

I  could  n't  stand  that.  I  hurried  outdoors  and 
plunged  off  on  my  walk. 

He  was  not  in  sight  when  I  came  back,  more 
than  an  hour  later.  So  I  have  n't  to  face  that 
cynical,  drooping  eye  to-night,  at  least. 

It  is  pitifully  indiscreet  of  her  to  use  her  real 
name  this  way  —  in  the  circumstances.  But  oh, 
I  am  glad,  just  the  same ! 


101 


April  6th.     Night. 

WE  worked  hard  this  morning,  she  and  I. 
And  a  little  this  afternoon. 
That  is  the  thing,  of  course  —  work.     It  stead- 
ies me.     And  it  is  her  only  hope.     For  she  has 
a  life  to  build,  poor  child ! 


1 02 


April  7th. 

HER  name  is  Heloiise. 
I  like  it.  It  fits  her.  Or  it  would  fit  her 
real  self.  Despite  the  fact  that  she  is  now  in  a  dis- 
heartened, quite  apathetic  phase,  I  catch  glimpses 
of  a  Gallic  effectiveness  about  her.  It  is  in  her 
face,  in  the  poise  of  her  body,  in  the  way  she  wears 
her  clothes. 

Yesterday,  all  day,  I  successfully  avoided  Sir 
Robert.  This  afternoon,  for  a  moment,  he  caught 
me;  but  I  deliberately  said  good-day  and  walked 
off.  It  was  rude.  But  he,  as  an  Englishman, 
would  not  hesitate  an  instant  to  be  rude  to  me  if 
the  fancy  took  him.  Curiously,  he  is  anything 
but  rude  to  me.  I  believe  he  stations  himself 
where  there  appears  to  be  a  chance  of  waylaying 
me.  He  is  even  foregoing  the  big  hotel  in  the 
Legation  Quarter  and  having  some  of  his  meals 
here,  in  his  room,  directly  across  from  hers. 
Which  is  disturbing  —  rather. 


103 


April  8th.    Noon. 

WE  have  a  perfect  half  scale,  at  last  —  c  to  g. 
I  shall  now  drive  ahead  after  the  rest  of  it. 
It  has  been  a  rather  more  exacting  task  than  either 
of  us  foresaw.  But  she  is  persistent.  If  any- 
thing she  throws  too  much  nervous  intensity  into 
her  work.  She  has  asked  me  for  copying  to  do, 
and  even  secretarial  work.  With  her  reasonably 
complete  musical  education  she  is  quite  competent 
to  take  down  from  the  phonograph  the  notation 
of  melodies  and  themes.  She  shuts  herself  in  at 
night  and  works  over  my  papers  and  music  sheets 
until  she  is  quite  exhausted.  I  have  tried  to  re- 
monstrate; but  she  insists  that  she  likes  having 
the  work  to  do.  Poor  child ! 

She  has  told  me  a  good  deal  about  her  musical 
life.  Not  the  least  of  her  troubles  is  the  fact  that 
it  would  take  at  least  two  years  of  the  very  best 
coaching  to  fit  her  for  opera.  She  has  no  reper- 
toire to  speak  of.  She  has  dreamed  of  the  opera- 
tic stage  from  her  earliest  girlhood.  But  while 
she  was  young  the  opportunity  was  lacking.  Her 
father  was  a  high-school  superintendent  —  a  man 
104 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

of  fineness  and  principle,  I  take  it,  but  desperately 
poor.  Her  mother,  who  had  been  a  singer,  died 
when  she  was  a  child,  the  father  two  years  ago. 
And  then  after  her  early  marriage  to  Crocker,  her 
life  took  a  new  and  strange  direction.  She  says 
nothing  about  Crocker.  What  little  she  does  tell 
of  this  more  recent  part  of  her  life  she  tells  in  a 
very  quiet,  reserved  manner,  implying  an  under- 
standing that  I  will  display  no  curiosity  to  learn 
more. 

Yes,  she  accepts  me  as  a  friend.  And  she  still 
thinks  I  know  nothing  of  her  beyond  her  bare 
name.  I  lie  to  her  a  dozen  times  a  day,  in  my  si- 
lences. But  I  don't  see  what  else  I  can  do.  Cer- 
tainly I  can't  offer  her  money.  I  can't  buy  her  a 
ticket  over  the  Trans-Siberian  and  send  her  off  to 
Europe  to  study  for  opera.  I  am  foolish  enough 
to  have  moments  of  wishing  to  do  just  that;  but  it 
is,  of  course,  an  impossible  thought.  And  to  tell 
her  the  painful  knowledge  that  is  at  present  locked 
up  in  my  mind  would  simply  shock  and  hurt  her 
to  no  purpose  that  I  can  perceive. 

We  have  at  least  one  meal  a  day  together.  Yes- 
terday we  shared  all  three  meals  —  breakfast  in 
her  room,  luncheon  and  dinner  in  mine.  It  seemed 
the  natural  thing  to  do.  Excepting  the  breakfast 
—  that  was  perhaps  a  trifle  odd.  But  all  during 

105 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  night,  at  intervals,  I  heard  her  stirring  about  in 
her  room,  and  saw  that  her  light  was  on.  Toward 
morning,  feeling  rather  disturbed  about  her,  I  got 
up,  and,  at  length,  dressed.  This  was  about  six 
o'clock. 

At  six-thirty  I  stepped  out  on  the  narrow  little 
French  balcony  outside  my  window.  It  is  less 
than  a  foot  wide,  this  balcony,  and  has  a  fancy 
wrought-iron  railing. 

She  also  has  a  balcony,  and  while  I  stood  there 
she  came  out  She  was  dressed.  And  she 
seemed  so  frankly  glad  to  see  me,  that  I  sug- 
gested the  breakfast.  She  looked  very  tired  about 
the  eyes.  Indeed,  I  am  not  sure  that  she  does 
not  grow  a  shade  more  tired,  a  shade  slimmer,  each 
day.  She  eats  next  to  nothing  at  all. 

Certainly,  each  day  she  works  harder.  I  am 
going  to  think  out  some  way  in  which  I  can  offer 
to  pay  her  for  this  work.  It  is  most  assuredly 
worth  something.  As  it  stands  now,  she  even 
insists  on  paying  for  her  share  of  the  meals. 


1 06 


Night. 

SIR  ROBERT  spoke  to  her  to-day.  As  luck 
would  have  it,  I  was  not  at  hand. 

It  has  been  cloudy,  and  when  she  went  out  for 
her  walk  this  afternoon  she  forgot  to  take  her 
umbrella.  She  is  not  timid  about  the  weather, 
anyway.  I  have  thought  once  or  twice  that  she 
likes  storms. 

She  was  on  her  way  back  to  the  hotel  when 
the  storm  broke  —  not  far  from  the  Arcade,  where 
the  moving  pictures  are  shown.  She  took  refuge 
in  the  entrance  to  the  Arcade  until  the  worst  of 
the  rain  appeared  to  be  over,  then  started  out  again 
through  the  wet. 

Sir  Robert  appeared  at  her  elbow,  with  an  um- 
brella. She  did  not  observe  whether  he  had  been 
following  her  or  merely  happened  to  meet  her. 
He  walked  to  the  hotel  with  her.  This  was  all 
she  told  me;  but  I  am  sure  it  was  not  quite  all 
that  occurred. 

She  asked  if  he  was  n't  a  judge. 

"  Yes,"  I  replied.     "  Why  do  you  ask?  " 

"  Oh,"  said  she  — "  it  was  something  he  said." 
107 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Which  was  all  I  learned  about  that  episode. 

It  did  not  seem  to  disturb  her  materially.  I 
was  glad  it  did  n't.  I  made  a  strong  effort  to 
conceal  my  own  foolish  anger  over  it,  and  trust 
that  I  succeeded.  At  any  rate,  we  dropped  the 
subject. 


108 


April  10th. 

THIS  afternoon,  late,  I  came  into  the  hotel 
from  a  walk  in  the  rain  and  went  directly 
upstairs.     I  had  my  rubbers  on. 

The  upper  corridor  was  nearly  dark,  particularly 
to  my  eyes  that  were  fresh  from  the  street  and  the 
bright  lights  of  the  office. 

I  saw  a  dark  object  by  her  door  —  a  man,  un- 
doubtedly, crouching  there. 

I  stopped  short,  and  watched. 

He  had  a  white  paper  in  his  hand.  He  fum- 
bled with  this  for  a  moment,  then  slipped  it  under 
the  door,  pushing  it  clear  through  into  the  room 
with  a  pencil.  Then  he  got  awkwardly  to  his  feet, 
and  stood  hesitating.  By  this  time  my  eyes  were 
partially  accustomed  to  the  dim  light,  and  I  knew 
it  was  Sir  Robert.  He  did  not  see  me.  After  a 
moment  he  tiptoed  heavily  across  the  hall  to  his 
own  door,  just  opposite  and  entered,  cautiously 
and  silently  closing  the  door  behind  him. 

I  walked  straight  along  the  hall,  past  my  own 
door,  and  stood  before  his.     I  had  a  mind  to  go 
in  there  and  strangle  him. 
109 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

But  what  was  the  use?  He  was  an  absurd  old 
man,  that  was  all.  But  none  the  less,  as  I  stepped 
back  and  entered  my  own  room,  I  found  myself 
shivering  oddly.  There  was  an  uncomfortable 
pressure  at  the  back  of  my  head,  and  my  heart  was 
skipping  beats. 

It  is  the  first  time  in  my  life,  I  think,  that  I  have 
been  seized  by  the  impulse  to  do  physical  harm  to 
a  fellow  creature. 

Before  putting  on  my  pajamas  to-night  I  stood 
and  looked  at  my  bare  chest  and  arms  in  my  broken 
mirror.  My  chest  is  narrow,  my  skin  white.  My 
arms  are  thin.  Possibly  I  could  n't  have  strangled 
him,  if  I  had  tried.  I  wish  I  were  strong. 

A  little  earlier  than  that,  before  she  closed  our 
door,  I  asked  her  if  Sir  Robert  was  annoying  her 
in  any  serious  way. 

The  question  made  her  very  grave  —  graver  even 
than  usual.  She  looked  at  me,  then  dropped  her 
eyes,  and  said  nothing.  But  after  a  moment  she 
looked  up  again,  made  one  of  those  efforts  to 
smile  that  are  pain  to  me,  and  shrugged  her  shoul- 
ders. That  was  all. 


no 


April  nth. 

SIR  ROBERT  is  always  hovering  about  the 
office  and  the  lounge  when  I  appear,  and  he 
always  tries  to  engage  me  in  talk.  I  can't  under- 
stand it.  He  is  insistent.  He  acts  as  if  I  fasci- 
nate him.  Twice  to-day  I  fairly  ran  away  from 
him.  I  was  afraid  I  would  strike  him.  It  makes 
me  physically  uncomfortable  to  have  him  so  much 
as  stand  near  me,  even  if  he  does  not  try  to  take 
my  hand  in  greeting. 

I  fear  I  am  not  managing  this  matter  very  well. 
I  am  acting  aimlessly,  and  in  a  sort  of  panic  of 
the  soul.  This  won't  do. 


in 


April  I2th. 

THIS  afternoon  he  caught  me  squarely  at  the 
clerk's  desk.  He  extended  a  cigar  and  sug- 
gested that  we  stroll  into  the  lounge  and  have  a 
chin-chin.  I  observed  that  his  hand  was  unsteady, 
as  if  the  palsy  had  reached  and  touched  him. 

On  the  spot  I  made  up  my  mind  to  face  him  out. 
I  accepted  the  cigar,  and  down  we  sat. 

He  asked  if  I  had  attended  any  of  the  theaters 
in  the  Chinese  city  that  lies  to  the  south  of  the 
Tartar  Wall.  When  I  replied  in  the  negative,  he 
suggested  that  we  do  a  little  exploring  together  of 
an  evening. 

"  The  ancient  Chinese  character  is  nowhere  bet- 
ter preserved,"  said  he,  "  than  in  these  theatrical 
performances.  And  the  music,  of  course,  is  the 
pure  old  strain,  quite  uncorrupted  by  Modernism 
or  the  West.  I  can  boast  of  some  familiarity  with 
the  Chinese  drama  and  music,  and  even  a  little 
acquaintance  with  the  language.  It  would  give  me 
pleasure  to  act  as  your  guide." 

"  Thank  you,"  said  I,  a  bit  too  shortly.  "  Later 
on,  perhaps.  Just  now  I  am  very  busy  with  my 
records." 

112 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

He  smiled  —  all  wrinkles.  That  left  eyelid 
drooped  and  drooped. 

I  pulled  savagely  on  my  cigar,  chewing  it  so 
hard  that  the  end  crumpled  between  my  teeth  and 
filled  my  mouth  with  unpleasant  little  particles  of 
tobacco  leaf. 

Then  he  laughed  —  with  an  effort,  I  thought. 
It  was  not  a  successful  laugh. 

So  we  sat  for  a  few  moments,  in  silence  and 
smoke.  So  men  sit  often  in  this  queer  tangle  of 
life  —  smoking,  smiling,  speaking  the  common- 
place phrases  that  are  the  current  small  change  of 
human  intercourse,  yet  hating  each  other  in  their 
hearts. 

"  I  say,  Eckhart  " —  it  was  a  little  later  on  that 
he  came  out  with  this  — "  you  know  who  she  is, 
of  course." 

There  was  no  good  in  pretending  ignorance. 
God  knows  I  am  not  quite  the  child  I  sometimes 
seem,  even  to  myself.  So  I  nodded. 

He  looked  narrowly  at  me.  I  met  his  gaze.  I 
was  just  a  thin,  nervous  man,  a  little  bald,  sitting 
quietly  there  and  smoking,  yet  all  the  time  that 
drooping  left  eyelid  irritated  me  so  that  I  wanted 
to  reach  right  over  and  tear  it  off  his  face.  But 
I  only  nodded. 

"  Dangerous  game,  my  boy,"  said  he. 
"3 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

That  was  his  assumption,  of  course  —  that  to 
me,  too,  she  was  merely  a  quarry  in  the  endless, 
universal  pursuit  of  woman  by  man.  Out  here  on 
the  Coast,  of  course,  from  the  point  of  view  of 
the  hard  world  about  us,  any  lone  woman  is  quite 
legitimate  prey. 

He  was  still  studying  me. 

"  I  'm  wondering  how  much  you  know,"  he  went 
on. 

"About  what?  "  said  I,  confused. 

"  About  that  woman  and  the  fix  she  is  in.  You 
know  who  her  husband  is,  surely." 

I  bowed.     "  He  was  on  the  ship." 

"  Yes,"  grunted  Sir  Robert  sardonically,  "  he 
was  on  the  ship.  And  you  saw  what  he  did  in 
the  Grand  Hotel  at  Yokohama,  did  n't  you  ?  He 
nearly  killed  a  waiter  —  a  Chinaman,  who  was 
quite  defenseless.  But  of  course  you  saw  it.  I 
recall  that  you  were  dining  with  him  at  the  time." 

"  He  was  drunk,"  I  said  huskily,  as  if  in  ex- 
tenuation. 

"  Yes,"  repeated  Sir  Robert  dryly.  "  He  was 
drunk.  Rather  dangerous  at  such  times,  is  n't 
he?" 

"  Yes,  but  he  quit  drinking  —  after  that.  Cut 
it  all  out."  I  could  not  keep  my  voice  from  rising 
a  little.  I  felt  my  confusion  increasing  —  my 

114 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

thoughts  were  all  adrift,  swept  here  and  there  by 
currents  of  feeling  that  I  could  not  fathom. 

"Oh,  he  did?"  Why  wouldn't  that  old  man 
take  his  unpleasant  eyes  off  me!  "Oh,  he  did? 
You  are  in  his  confidence,  then.  And  of  course 
you  know  even  more  " —  he  paused,  very  deliber- 
ately — "  regarding  his  state  of  mind,  his  reason 
for  coming  out  here  to  the  other  side  of  the  world, 
all  that?" 

I  sat  limp  in  my  chair,  still  chewing  that  crum- 
pling cigar. 

Sir  Robert  leaned  back.  He  was  seated  on  the 
leather  sofa.  He  let  his  head  rest  on  the  shabby 
upholstery  and  studied  the  ceiling.  In  one  hand 
he  held  his  cigar,  in  the  other  his  monocle,  tracing 
patterns  in  the  air  with  them.  His  hands  are  not 
thin,  but  the  skin  on  them  is  crisscrossed  with  fine 
wrinkles  like  the  skin  on  his  face  and  neck. 

"  My  boy,"  he  began,  after  a  time,  "  I  'm  going 
to  offer  you  a  little  counsel.  You  won't  take  it, 
but  I  am  going  to  offer  it.  Probably,  at  your  age, 
I  should  n't  have  taken  it  either."  He  sighed. 
"  I  am  an  old  man.  For  forty-five  years  I  have 
been  observing  men  —  and  women.  I  have  seen 
—  well,  a  good  deal,  one  way  and  another.  And 
the  one  fact  I  have  come  to  be  sure  of.  ...  You 
know,  Eckhart,  the  great  mass  of  human  beings  — 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

in  Europe  and  America,  at  least,  labor  under  the 
curious  delusion  that  the  race  has  finally  worked 
out  something  of  a  civilization.  Curious,  but  they 
do.  It  is  rot,  of  course.  All  rot.  There  is  no  civi- 
lization. Life  is  quite  as  primitive  as  ever.  Only 
we  have  developed  extraordinary  ingenuity  at  cov- 
ering life  up.  That 's  it.  That 's  our  greatest  tri- 
umph —  covering  up !  At  best,  it  is  pretty  messy 
business.  And  all  we  can  be  sure  of  is  that  every 
man  owes  it  to  himself  and  his  legitimate  offspring 
to  save  his  skin  at  all  costs,  and  incidentally,  to 
capture  what  little  he  can  of  the  common  booty." 

He  made  me  nervous.  I  could  n't  sit  there  in- 
definitely and  listen  to  his  sordid  philosophy. 

He  was  quick  to  catch  my  mood,  and  went  on 
more  to  the  point.  This  shiftiness  is  the  seasoned 
lawyer  in  him,  I  suppose.  He  is  pretty  keen,  after 
all. 

"  Look  here,  Eckhart  —  there  's  no  sense  in  men 
like  you  and  me  beating  about  the  bush.  Crocker 
got  blind  drunk  at  Nagasaki,  and  missed  the 
Shanghai  boat.  That  night  he  told  me  the  same 
story  that  he  had  doubtless  told  you.  Or  did  n't 
he?" 

I  nodded.  As  he  had  said,  there  was  no  use 
beating  about  the  bush. 

"  Then  I  've  only  this  much  to  say,  my  boy. 
116 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

It 's  the  one  thing  I  've  learned  from  life.  Never 
—  never  —  fall  in  love  with  a  woman.  Play  with 
them,  yes.  Use  them.  But  for  God's  sake  don't 
let  yourself  fall  in  love  with  them !  " 

He  was  speaking  with  a  curious  emphasis.  His 
gaze  had  drifted  upward  again  toward  the  dirty 
ceiling.  And  now  it  was  suddenly  my  turn  to  sit 
and  watch  him. 

"Don't  do  it!"  he  went  on.  "Don't  do  it. 
They  fasten  their  lives  on  you,  they  smother  you. 
If  you  don't  marry  them,  it 's  bad  enough.  If 
you  do,  it 's  worse.  You  are  an  extremely  gifted 
young  man.  I  do  not  know  that  I  ever  met  a 
man  with  a  keener  mind  or  one  that  impressed  me 
as  having  more  driving,  vital  force  with  which 
to  shape  a  career.  You  are  out  here  now,  right 
in  your  best  years,  full  of  enthusiasm  for  your 
work.  Don't  let  any  woman  into  your  life.  Good 
or  bad,  whatever  the  phrases  mean,  a  woman  is  n't 
happy  with  a  man  until  she  has  trimmed  the  scope 
of  his  life  down  to  the  compass  of  her  own  un- 
derstanding. She  has  to  get  it  right  into  her 
hands,  and  choke  it.  Then  life  begins  to  mean 
something  to  her.  Personally  I  have  come  to  the 
conclusion  that  I  get  on  rather  better  with  the  bad 
women,  so  called.  They  don't  expect  so  much. 
In  a  way  they  are  squarer  —  better  sports,  as  you 
117 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Americans  say.  Remember,  my  boy,  '  He  travels 
the  fastest  who  travels  alone.' ' 

I  was  becoming  tired  of  his  wandering  thoughts. 
Generalizations  are  a  bore,  anyway.  They  are  al- 
ways loose,  and  generally  wrong.  Then,  too,  I 
may  as  well  admit  that  he  was  disturbing  me 
deeply,  this  loose-minded  but  shrewd  old  man. 

"  Look  here,"  I  said  abruptly,  "  you  know  of 
this  obsession  of  Crocker's?  " 

He  bowed. 

"  Can't  we  do  something  to  restrain  him  ?  " 

He  slowly  shook  his  head. 

"  You  don't  mean  to  say  that  we  can't  stop  a 
man  who  is  bent  on  murder?  " 

"  Our  motives  might  be  regarded  as  —  well,  not 
exactly  clear,  yours  and  mine,"  mused  Sir  Robert. 
"  Besides,  he  has  n't  done  anything.  You  can 
hardly  restrain  a  man  from  becoming  indignant 
if  an  acquaintance  breaks  into  his  house  and  steals 
his  wife." 

"  But  she  is  n't  his  property,  like  his  watch !  "  I 
exclaimed. 

He  smiled  tolerantly  at  me.  "  In  a  sense,  she 
is,"  said  he.  "  In  a  sense.  The  weight  of  law 
and  tradition  is  against  you  there,  Eckhart." 

"  Traditions  are  nothing  to  me !  "  said  I,  hotly. 

"  They  still  mean  a  good  deal  to  the  rest  of  the 
118 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

world,"  said  he  dryly.  "  And  even  the  law  still 
has  weight."  Then  he  went  on,  quite  as  if  I  had 
not  interrupted  him.  "  In  England  it  might  be 
possible,  in  case  we  could  prove  that  he  had  openly 
threatened  murder  in  the  presence  of  competent 
witnesses,  to  put  him  under  bonds  to  keep  the  peace. 
But  this  is  n't  England  —  it  is  the  China  Coast. 
At- that,  what  would  bonds  mean  to  a  strong,  self- 
willed  man  in  Crocker's  state  of  mind !  A  jealous 
man ! "  He  raised  his  monocle,  held  it  a  few 
inches  before  his  face,  and  looked  through  it  at  a 
speck  on  the  ceiling.  He  even  moved  it  around  a 
little,  and  squinted  his  right  eye,  as  if  sighting 
through  a  transit 

I  wanted  to  strike  it  from  his  shaking  fingers. 
Instead,  I  sat  up  very  straight  and  clasped  my 
hands  tightly  together  in  my  lap. 

"  Do  you  know,"  he  continued,  in  that  irritat- 
ing, musing  tone,  "  I  believe  the  man  is  still  in 
love  with  her,  or  thinks  he  is." 

"  Love !  "  I  sniffed.     "  You  call  that  love !  " 

He  did  n't  look  at  me.  He  was  still  squinting 
at  the  ceiling.  Pretty  soon  he  sighed.  "  When 
you  come  right  down  to  it,"  he  said,  "  if  a  man  has 
no  right  to  protect  his  home  —  and  that  implies 
some  right  of  control  over  his  wife — '  love,  honor 
and  obey,'  you  know  —  what  becomes  of  our  in- 

119 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

stitutions!  You  see,  Eckhart,  in  the  eyes  of  the 
world  Crocker  is  entitled  to  a  good  deal  of  sym- 
pathy. He  took  care  of  this  woman  for  years, 
supported  her  in  some  luxury,  I  take  it,  gave  her 
a  much  richer  sort  of  life  than  she  had  known 
before." 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  '  richer '  ?  "  I  cried. 
"  More  money?  " 

He  waved  me  back  with  his  monocle,  and  went 
on  with  his  argument.  "  She  was  unwilling  to 
bear  him  children.  Now,  Eckhart,  that  is  serious. 
She  was  his  wife.  She  refused  there  to  meet  her 
absolute  duty  as  a  wife.  English  law,  at  least, 
is  quite  definite  on  that  point." 

This  was  dreadful.  I  could  hardly  keep  in  my 
chair. 

"  And  following  all  this  " —  he  was  growing  em- 
phatic now  — "  she  deliberately  leaves  his  home 
and  attaches  herself  to  another  man.  There  is 
certainly  no  doubt  there,  my  boy.  That  is  adul- 
tery. She  dishonored  his  home.  She  dishon- 
ored him — " 

Here,  I  admit,  I  lost  my  temper.  I  sprang  up, 
and  for  the  second  time  in  my  acquaintance  with 
this  old  man,  shook  my  finger  under  his  nose. 

"  Rot !  "  I  cried,  using  his  own  phrase.  "  Rot ! 
All  rot !  He  had  dishonored  her  home  a  hundred 

1 20 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

times."  My  voice  rang  out  on  that  word  "  dis- 
honored." I  fairly  jammed  it  down  Sir  Robert's 
throat  —  made  him  eat  that  word,  letter  by  letter. 

"  For  God's  sake,  lower  your  voice ! "  said  he. 

"  Adultery! "  I  shouted  this,  too.  "  Good  God 
— '  adultery  '  is  a  commonplace  to  Crocker !  " 

"  You  don't  know  this,"  said  he.  Then, 
"  Lower  your  voice !  " 

"  But  I  do  know,"  I  answered  him.  "  He  told 
me  himself.  '  Adultery! '  Why,  millions  of  men 
commit  adultery  —  good  men,  bad  men,  every  sort 
of  men!  That's  what  the  millions  of  prosti- 
tutes are  for!  And,  guilty  or  innocent,  we  all  lie 
about  it  to  the  women  and  the  children.  Lie  — 
lie  —  lie !  I  'm  sick  of  it !  I  'm  a  scientist,  I  tell 
you,  and  I  don't  recognize  lies  in  my  business. 
There  's  something  wrong  somewhere.  We  're  all 
playing  at  life  —  all  pretending  —  all  making  be- 
lieve—  when  we  ought  to  be  studying  the  facts, 
working  through  those  facts  toward  the  truth." 

"  What  did  I  tell  you,"  he  broke  in,  talking 
around  my  finger  — "  covering  up !  " 

"  We  're  afraid  of  the  truth,"  I  shouted.  "  So 
we  cling  desperately  to  our  lies,  and  call  them  beau- 
tiful. And  the  truth  —  beaten  down,  perverted 
—  undermines  us,  saps  us,  beats  us  at  every  turn. 
God,  it 's  awful ! "  My  hand  fell  by  my  side. 

121 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  The  worst  of  it  is,  probably  the  truth  would  be 
beautiful,  if  we  could  only  find  it." 

Sir  Robert  again  drew  a  long,  long  breath. 
"  But  what 's  the  use,  Eckhart  ?  "  said  he.  "  What 
you  say  is  of  course  true.  But  why  make  a  Quix- 
ote of  yourself?  Why  be  a  dam'  fool!  Society 
does  cling  to  its  little  lie.  Even  at  a  sacrifice  of 
half  the  women  in  the  world.  Admitting  that 
some  of  our  traditions  are  nothing  more  than  out- 
worn tribal  notions,  what 's  the  use  of  beating  your 
brains  out  against  them.  I  tell  you,  my  boy,  if 
you  talk  too  much  of  that  sort  of  truth  the  world 
will  kill  you.  And  the  women  who  call  themselves 
good  will  lead  the  attack,  for  they  are  the  sheltered, 
the  privileged  class.  No,  we  must  take  it  as  we 
find  it." 

But  I  was  past  all  this  now  —  past  the  influence 
of  all  his  miserable  sophistry.  My  head  and  hands 
were  blazing  hot. 

"So!"  I  cried.  "You  tell  me  to  play  the 
coward!  Do  you  not  know  that  every  one  of  the 
great  explorers  into  the  wonderful  region  of  scien- 
tific truth  has  faced  the  terror  and  hatred  of  the 
world  in  precisely  this  way?  Do  you  not  know 
that  if  those  great-hearted  men,  one  after  another, 
had  not  cut  their  way  through  the  spiritual  hor- 
rors of  '  tradition '  we  should  to-day  be  living  in 

122 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

medieval  darkness  and  filth  ?  Why,  Old  Man,  you 
yourself  can  remember  when  *  free-thinker '  was  a 
term  of  obloquy.  To-day  our  right  to  think  is  the 
finest,  greatest  right  we  have. —  Do  you  suppose  I 
care  if  they  kill  me?  "  Again  I  waved  my  finger 
under  his  nose.  "  Tell  me,  Old  Man,  do  you  really 
imagine  I  care?  Don't  you  know-  the  scientific 
mind  better  than  that?  Can't  you  see  that  I  admit 
no  tradition,  no  dogma,  no  authority.  I  am  a 
scientist!  I  am  of  the  most  wonderful  guild  of 
explorers  this  wretched  old  world  has  yet  seen  — 
the  guild  that  is  exploring  for  the  truth.  Tradi- 
tion has  not  stopped  us  yet.  It  will  never  stop 


us." 


I  turned  away.  "  Oh,  I  am  disgusted  with 
you,"  I  said  — "  with  you  and  your  beastly,  cow- 
ardly mind!  I'm  sick  of  you!  —  Understand 
that?  I  'm  sick  of  you!  "  And  I  walked  straight 
for  the  door. 

Sir  Robert  followed  me.  He  had  to  step  fast, 
too.  He  put  his  hand  on  my  shoulder,  and 
checked  me.  He  loomed  over  me. 

"  Whatever  you  do,  my  boy,"  he  was  saying, 
"  keep  your  head.  That  woman  has  already 
wrecked  two  lives  that  we  know  of  —  possibly  a 
third.  Don't  let  her  wreck  yours." 

I  wrenched  away  from  him,  and  struck  out  alone 
123 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

into  the  narrow,  muddy  street  between  the  Chi- 
nese houses. 

I  walked  twice  around  the  glacis  that  borders 
the  Legation  Quarter  on  the  north,  and  through 
the  Quarter  from  end  to  end  on  Legation  Street. 
Scenes  flitted  past  me  that  I  only  half  saw  — 
Peking  carts  with  blue  covers  and  little  windows 
in  the  sides,  innumerable  street  merchants  utter- 
ing musical  cries  and  offering  trays  of  queer-smell- 
ing foods,  and  the  usual  indolent,  good-humored 
crowds  of  blue-clad  yellow  men,  with  round  yellow 
children  playing  everywhere,  underfoot  and  out  in 
the  mud  of  the  street.  In  the  Ha  Ta  Road  a  long 
wedding  procession  was  passing,  with  an  ornate 
red  sedan  chair  for  the  poor  little  bride,  and  musi- 
cal instruments  that  I  did  not  so  much  as  observe. 
I  saw  the  stiff,  cowed  German  soldiers  on  sentry 
duty  at  the  eastern  end  of  Legation  Street;  and, 
farther  along,  the  solid  masonry  building  of  the 
Hongkong  Bank ;  and,  down  a  side  street,  the  great, 
showy,  extremely  modern  Wagon-lits  Hotel.  I 
vaguely  noted  the  walls  and  trees  of  the  British 
Compound,  where  centered  the  defense  against  the 
Boxer  attack  a  dozen  years  ago.  I  strode  by  the 
American  Compound,  at  the  western  end,  and 
caught  a  glimpse  through  the  open  gate  of  loung- 
ing American  boys  in  their  olive  drab.  And, 

124 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

emerging  on  the  plaza  between  the  great  Chien 
Gate  in  the  Tartar  Wall  and  the  entrance  to  the 
Imperial  City,  I  came  upon  a  long  train  of  laden 
camels,  just  in  from  Mongolia,  each  with  a  string 
in  its  ugly  nose. 

And  all  the  way  I  knew  that  the  confused  forces 
that  have  been  tearing  at  me  during  this  disturb- 
ing week  were  merging  into  a  new  line  of  force. 
I  knew,  even  then,  that  this  meant  a  new  direction 
for  my  life  —  my  life  that  I  once  thought  so  simply 
and  clearly  outlined,  so  perfectly  centered  on  a 
single  interest.  Now  —  God  knows  what  is  to 
become  of  me! 

Did  Sir  Robert  do  this  amazing  thing  to  me  3 
I  can  not  think  clearly.  I  am  that  way  at  times  — > 
let  another  try  to  bring  me  to  his  own  point 
of  view,  he  is  more  likely  than  not  merely  to 
rouse  my  own  inner  voices.  I  never  follow  — 
I  lead. 

However  it  be,  I  only  know  now  that  I  am  a 
man  with  blazing  fires  in  me  —  fires  that  both  sear 
and  illuminate  my  mind,  my  emotions,  my  soul.  It 
is  glorious.  And  terrible. 

It  was  nearly  six  o'clock  when  I  came  into  my 
room.  I  observed  that  the  connecting  door 
stood  part  way  open.  This  meant,  I  had  come  to 
know,  that  she  was  in,  and  that  I  was  welcome. 

125 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  tiptoed  to  the  door,  and  tapped  on  it  with  the 
tips  of  my  fingers. 

She  was  sitting  by  her  balcony,  sewing. 

"  Did  you  have  a  good  walk?  "  she  asked  softly. 

She  seemed  less  sad.  When  I  had  tossed  my 
hat  and  stick  aside  and  entered  her  room,  it 
seemed  to  me  even  that  a  smile  was  hovering  on 
her  lovely  face.  I  could  not  be  certain  of  this, 
for  she  kept  her  head  bowed  over  her  work. 

I  dropped  into  a  chair  by  her,  and  looked  at  her. 
Yes,  she  seemed  distinctly  softer,  even  more  subtly 
feminine  (as  we  say)  than  usual,  bending  over  the 
needle  that  moved  nimbly  to  and  fro.  It  struck 
me  that  sewing  brought  out  the  beauty  of  her 
hands. 

Finally  she  raised  her  head  and  looked  at  me. 
She  was  smiling. 

"  I  've  got  it,"  she  said.     "  Listen." 

And  with  a  quick  breath  and  a  slight  stiffening 
of  her  shoulders  she  began  singing  the  scale  up- 
ward from  middle  c  —  sitting  there  with  her  sew- 
ing in  her  lap.  I  listened  closely.  Heretofore 
she  had  usually  begun  to  miss  the  eighth-tone  in- 
tervals when  she  reached  a  and  b.  Now  she  took 
them  perfectly.  I  could  not  detect  the  slightest 
inaccuracy  of  pitch.  I  noticed  that  she  kept  to  a 
marked  rhythm,  all  the  way  up.  The  upper  c 

126 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

she  held,  with  a  sudden  triumphant  glance  at  me, 
and  trilled  on  it,  very  softly. 

It  brought  me  to  my  feet.  "  Come,"  I  said 
gruffly,  "  we  '11  take  that  down  on  the  machine." 

She  followed  into  my  room,  explaining  eagerly 
as  she  watched  me  putting  on  the  cylinder  — "  You 
see,  to-day,  I  realized  all  at  once  that  I  've  been 
downright  stupid  about  it.  It  occurred  to  me  that 
singing  with  a  rhythm  might  carry  me  right  along 
through  it.  And  then  besides  I  just  stopped  fuss- 
ing, and  made  up  my  mind  that  of  course  I  could 
do  it.  I  can  do  it  again,  too.  You  '11  see." 

She  promptly  did  it  again.  Again  and  again, 
as  rapidly  as  I  could  put  on  new  cylinders.  I 
seized  the  occasion  to  make  twelve  records.  Then 
we  both  listened  attentively  while  I  played  them 
all  over.  There  was  not  the  slightest  doubt  that 
ten  were  perfect  —  or  so  nearly  perfect  that  they 
satisfied  us.  And  that  is  near  enough.  My  hands 
trembled  as  I  put  each  cylinder  back  in  its  box  and 
carefully  wrote  the  labels.  Oh,  it  has  been  a  tre- 
mendous day,  this  day! 

She  stood  right  over  the  machine  throughout  this 
performance  —  and  we  must  have  been  an  hour  at 
it.  I  asked  her  to  sit,  but  she  laughed  a  little 
and  said  she  was  too  excited. 

When  the  labeled  boxes  were  all  carefully  put 
127 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

away  in  a  drawer  of  my  bureau,  where  no  accident 
short  of  fire  could  reach  them,  I  came  to  her  and 
took  her  two  hands.  Then  suddenly  I  could  not 
say  anything  at  all. 

But  she  looked  right  at  me,  and  returned,  very 
frankly,  the  pressure  of  my  hands,  and  smiled, 
though  there  were  tears  in  her  own  eyes. 

"  I  'm  so  glad,"  she  said.  "  You  just  don't 
know  —  I  Ve  wanted  so  to  be  of  use  — " 

She  gently  tried  to  withdraw  her  hands.  I  re- 
leased one,  but,  still  unable  to  speak,  clung  to  the 
other;  and  hand  in  hand  we  walked  to  the  French 
window  and  stepped  out,  side  by  side,  on  the  nar- 
row balcony.  Then  I  let  her  hand  go,  and  we 
leaned  on  the  railing  and  breathed  in  the  sweet 
April  air. 

It  was  evening  now.  Electric  lights  were  twin- 
kling. Gay  paper  lanterns  hung  out  from  nearby 
buildings.  The  confusion  of  street  cries  floated 
up  faintly  to  our  ears. 

My  time  had  come. 

But  it  was  hard  to  speak  directly.  First  I  told 
her  how  wonderfully  she  has  helped  me,  and  tq 
what  a  practical  end. 

All  she  said  to  this  was  —  very  softly,  gazing 
off  at  the  lights  — "  I  'm  glad." 

I  rambled  on.  Which  would  not  do.  My  time 
128 


We  leaned  on  the  railing  and  breathed  in  the  sweet 
April  air 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

had  come,  and  I  was  letting  it  slip  away.  It  was 
characteristic  of  me,  I  thought  almost  bitterly  — 
always,  except  in  the  one  narrow  channel  of  my 
work,  blundering  ineffectually,  missing  the  reali- 
ties of  life. 

I  gathered  my  forces,  with  a  great  effort.  I 
felt  sober,  stern,  all  at  once. 

"  Listen,  please,"  I  began. 

Instantly  I  knew  that  she  had  caught  the  change 
in  me.  I  thought  I  felt  her  nerves  tighten,  though 
I  was  not  touching  her.  I  blundered  on. 

:l  You  have  come  to  know  me,"  I  said. 

'  Yes,"  she  breathed,  "  I  have  come  to  know 
you." 

"  And  by  this  time  you  know  just  about  the  sort 
of  man  I  am.  I  must  assume  that  you  know  that, 
because  I  expect  you  to  take  all  of  me  into  account 
in  what  I  am  going  to  say.  I  know  I  shall  say  it 
badly.  I  doubt  if  I  shall  succeed  at  all  in  saying 
even  what  I  mean.  Yet,  you  Ve  got  to  understand 
me." 

She  kept  silent ;  but  it  seemed  to  me,  in  the  subtle 
understanding  we  had  somehow  reached,  that  she 
assented  to  this  preliminary  condition. 

"  I  am  going  to  put  it  bluntly,"  I  rushed  on. 
"  It 's  the  only  way  I  can  say  it  at  all.  I  see  two 
facts,  as  regards  you  and  me.  One  is  that  you  are 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

a  wonderful  woman.  You  have  great  gifts.  You 
have  what  we  call  temperament  —  a  silly  word, 
but  there  is  no  other  for  the  precise  meaning.  It 
is  an  absurd  waste  to  keep  you  here.  You  must 
go  to  Berlin  or  Paris  —  Paris,  I  think,  for  the 
French  music  is  the  most  stimulating  of  any  to- 
day. You  must  be  prepared  for  opera  just  as 
rapidly  as  possible.  There  is  no  time  to  lose." 

Her  mouth  twisted  into  a  fleeting  half -smile. 
"  It  is  quite  out  of  the  question,"  she  mur- 
mured. 

"  No,  it  is  not  out  of  the  question !  "  My  voice 
was  rising,  and  she  had  to  give  me  a  warning  look. 
"  I  do  not  know  quite  how  it  is  to  be  managed, 
but  I  can  see  a  beginning,  at  least." 

She  seemed  surprised  at  this,  so  I  talked  more 
and  more  rapidly.  "  First,  you  must  consider  my 
second  fact.  Remember,  I  am  speaking  only  as 
a  practical  scientist  —  quite  impersonally."  God 
forgive  me,  this  seemed  true  at  the  moment! 
"  What  you  have  done  for  me  has  a  value  that  I 
dare  not  even  estimate.  Though  my  income  is 
not  great,  even  from  my  text  books,  I  would  gladly 
have  traveled  thousands  of  miles  and  devoted 
months  of  work  to  the  securing  of  the  phono- 
graphic close-interval  scale  that  now  is  securely 
mine." 

132 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

She  was  beginning  to  stir  restlessly.  But  I 
would  not  let  her  speak.  "  Take  your  copying 
and  clerical  work  alone  —  perhaps,  I  should  not 
say  this — I  could  not  possibly  get  such  devoted  and 
expert  assistance  anywhere  in  the  world  without 
paying  a  reasonable  price  by  the  week.  Now  hear 
me!  You  must  not  close  your  mind  to  what  I 
am  saying!"  For  I  knew  she  was  doing  just 
that,  as  women  will.  I  caught  her  arm  —  and 
her  hand  —  in  my  two  hands  and  clung  to  her. 
She  did  not  resist.  Nor  did  she  respond  —  merely 
looked  soberly  off  over  the  city,  and  seemed,  all  the 
time,  to  be  drifting  away  from  me.  My  head  was 
burning  hot.  My  forehead  was  dripping  wet,  and 
I  had  to  shake  the  drops  of  sweat  out  of  my  eyes. 
Great,  wild  thoughts  were  gripping  my  mind,  that 
had  been  so  confused.  I  knew  then  that  I  must  get 
her  out  of  Peking,  away  from  that  ugly,  persistent 
old  man  across  the  hall,  away  from  the  drink-crazed 
younger  man  who  thought  he  could  by  a  violent 
act  restore  what  he  called  his  honor.  I  knew  that 
I  must  be  equal  to  this  task.  I  must  find  the  way. 
And  I  must  persuade  her. 

So  I  cried  — 

"  You  must  listen !  I  will  not  place  you  in  my 
debt.  But  you  have  placed  me  in  yours.  You 
must  be  fair  to  me.  You  must  let  me  help  you 

133 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

by  paying  my  debt  to  you.  I  promise  you  I  will 
do  more  than  that.  But  oh,  you  must  be  fair  to 
me!" 

She  would  not  look  at  me.  I  had  her  right 
forearm  and  hand  in  the  grip  of  my  hot,  trembling 
hands.  Her  left  elbow  rested  on  the  iron  railing 
of  the  balcony,  her  chin  on  her  hand.  And  her 
eyes  roved  off  over  the  roofs  of  the  Chinese 
houses,  over  the  walls  and  trees  of  the  Legation 
Quarter,  off  southward  toward  the  temple  of 
Heaven  that  stood  somewhere  there  behind  the 
trees  and  the  starlit  sky  above  it. 

More  and  more  my  thoughts  were  slipping  out 
of  control.  I  struggled  to  hold  them,  but  could 
not.  I  had  never  in  my  life  felt  like  this. 

"  You  must  not  let  the  fact  that  I  love  you  con- 
fuse your  sense  of  justice,"  I  went  on,  quite  as  if 
she  and  I  had  long  known  and  admitted  my  love 
for  her.  "  That  is  another  matter  altogether.  Ex- 
cept in  this  —  I  know  now  that  as  long  as  I  live 
I  shall  want  to  help  you.  This  is  quite  beyond  your 
control,  or  mine.  It  simply  happens  to  be  so. 
And  it  does  seem  to  me  that  since  it  is  so,  you  can 
at  least  let  me  help  you  to  the  extent  that  is  prac- 
tically and  impersonally  fair." 

It  was  curious  how  the  mere  utterance  of  those 
three  words,  "  I  love  you,"  cleared  my  mind.  It 

134 


explained  everything.  It  relieved  me  by  extricat- 
ing me  from  all  uncertainty  of  thought  and  feel- 
ing. It  thrilled  me,  deeply  and  solemnly.  I 
wanted  to  say  it  over  and  over  and  over.  I  wanted 
to  take  her  into  my  arms  and  whisper  it  into  one 
ear  and  then  into  the  other.  I  wanted  to  whisper 
it  to  the  stars  up  there,  the  stars  that  have  heard 
so  much.  I  wanted  to  go  over  to  the  big  hotel  in 
the  Quarter,  where  there  would  be  bright  lights 
and  tourists  and  gilded  military  folk  and  gay 
ladies,  and  say  it  so  that  all  might  hear  and  share 
the  thrill  of  it. 

My  talk  dwindled  out  What  part  had  more 
argument  in  this?  My  grip  on  her  arm  relaxed; 
I  held  only  to  her  unresponsive  hand,  and  leaned 
on  the  railing  beside  her. 

For  a  long,  long  time  we  were  still  there.  Then, 
finally  she  withdrew  her  hand. 

I  looked  at  her  and  saw  that  her  eyes  were  shin- 
ing, and  there  were  tears  on  her  cheek. 

"  Oh,"  she  murmured,  "  why  —  why  —  could  n't 
we  have  gone  on !  " 

"  You  don't  mean  that  we  can't  go  on !  "  said  I. 

She  looked  full  at  me,  and  inclined  her  head. 
To-day  she  has  had  more  color,  her  face  has  not 
had  so  much  of  the  worn,  tired  look.  But  now, 
by  the  half-light  that  fell  on  her  from  the  window, 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  saw  that  it  had  all  returned.  She  was  very  sad, 
very  tired. 

"  You  have  spoken,"  she  said,  "  of  money  —  and 
of  love.  Oh,  I  wish  you  had  n't !  " 

Then  she  must  have  read  my  feelings  on  my  face, 
for  she  put  her  hand  on  my  arm  and  added  — 

"  I  did  not  mean  to  hurt  you.  It  has  been  beau- 
tiful. You  don't  know  —  even  you,  you  don't 
know.  You  almost  made  life  mean  something 
again.  Nothing  that  I  could  ever  do  would  pay 
you  back  for  that.  It  made  me  almost  happy  — 
just  to  be  useful.  All  my  life  I  have  wanted  to 
be  that.  And  they  have  made  a  toy  of  me.  Or 
they  have  wanted  me  to  do  something  I  could  n't 
do.  You  have  helped  me  to  do  what  I  can  do." 

"  It  has  been  beautiful,"  I  thought.  Or  perhaps 
I  said  it  aloud,  for  she  inclined  her  head  again. 

"  It  has  been  like  a  dream,"  she  said.  "  I  know 
it  couldn't  be  so,  but  oh,  how  I  have  clung  to 
it!  I  have  blundered  so  with  my  life  .  .  .  but 
this  seemed  real." 

"  It  is  real,"  said  I. 

She  looked  away. 

Again  for  a  time  we  stood  silently  there,  and 
looked  out  over  the  curving  tile  roofs. 

And  again  I  felt  that  she  was  slipping  away 
from  me.  It  was  good  that  I  had  spoken  my  love. 
136 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

That  would  stay  in  her  thoughts.  Perhaps  it 
would  grow  there.  Perhaps  the  magic  that  was 
stirring  wonderfully  in  my  heart  would  touch  and 
stir  her  heart.  I  knew  at  that  moment  that  I  loved 
her  more  than  all  the  world  —  more  than  my  work, 
more  than  my  life.  I  knew,  with  exultation,  that 
I  was  plunging  out  into  uncharted  ways,  where 
lives  are  as  often  wrecked  as  not.  And  I  did  not 
care.  I  was  glad. 

Her  shoulder  brushed  mine,  as  we  leaned  side 
by  side  on  the  railing.  There  was  sheer  intoxica- 
tion in  that  contact.  I  raised  my  arm,  fairly  hold- 
ing my  breath,  and  put  it  about  her  shoulders.  I 
caught  her  two  hands,  there  by  her  chin.  I  saw 
lights,  trees,  sky  in  a  swirl  of  happy  things.  A 
voice  was  thrilling  in  my  heart.  I  gripped  her 
tightly,  and  tried  to  kiss  her.  But  she  strug- 
gled. She  tried  to  push  me  away.  She  fought 
me. 

And  then,  as  I  staggered  back,  the  tears  came 
from  my  own  eyes,  blinding  me. 

She  ran  back  into  my  room,  and  stood  there. 

I  followed.  "It  was  in  my  heart  to  do  it!  "  I 
was  saying,  like  a  fool.  "  It.  was  in  my  heart  to 
doit!" 

She  dropped  on  a  chair,  very  limp  and  white. 
She  motioned  me  to  take  another. 

137 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  You  must  not  be  like  the  others,"  she  was  say- 
ing, in  a  desperate,  choking  voice  — "  you  must 
not !  I  can't  bear  it !  " 

I  could  not  think.  "  I  am  not,"  I  replied,  low 
— "  I  am  not.  I  love  you.  You  shall  see." 

This  was  getting  us  nowhere.  Her  eyes  were 
dry  now,  and  oh,  so  sad  and  tired.  She  was 
slowly  shaking  her  head  at  me. 

"You  are  killing  —  everything!"  she  said. 
But  she  said  it  gently. 

I  could  not  speak.  I  only  looked  at  her  — 
looked  and  looked.  Then  I  went  over  to  the 
phonograph  and  worked  aimlessly  over  it.  I  think 
I  wound  it  up. 

She  still  sat  there,  her  hands  limp  in  her  lap. 

Finally  she  said,  in  a  low  voice  that  was  yet 
steady  — "  I  wish  I  could  love  you." 

"  You  can,"  I  muttered.     "  You  shall !  " 

She  slowly  shook  her  head.  "  No,"  she 
breathed. 

"  But  you  must,"  I  went  on.  "  It  is  the  only 
thing  now.  It  is  the  one  way  out  for  you  and 
me." 

This  had  some  effect  on  her.  She  pursed  her 
lips,  and  thought. 

But  after  a  little  she  shook  her  head  again,  and 
made  that  listless  gesture  of  her  left  hand  that 

138 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

she  had  made  that  first  day,  when  I  broke  into 
her  room. 

"  Something  has  died  in  me,"  she  said.  "  I 
don't  believe  I  can  ever  love  a  man  again." 

She  rose,  and  moved  toward  her  own  room. 
On  the  sill  she  paused,  and  picked  at  the  flaking 
paint  of  the  door  frame. 

"  I  do  not  believe  it  is  the  only  way  out,"  she 
said.  "  You  will  get  over  it,  of  course."  Then, 
at  the  shake  of  my  head,  she  corrected  — "  At 
least,  you  will  have  your  work,  and  the  feeling  that 
you  are  getting  somewhere  with  your  life.  I 
should  think  that  would  be  the  one  great  thing, 
after  all.  And  I  shall  at  least  know  that  I  am 
not  hurting  another  life.  I  hurt  everybody  that 
cares  for  me.  If  I  could  —  love  you,  I  should 
undoubtedly  hurt  you." 

"  Wait,"  said  I,  "  we  will  go  on  with  our  work, 
at  least  —  in  the  morning." 

She  pursed  her  lips  again.  "  I  don't  know," 
she  replied,  as  if  she  were  thinking  aloud,  "  whether 
that  is  possible." 

"  It  must  be  possible !  " 

She  shook  her  head.  "  You  will  have  to  let  me 
think  about  that." 

Then  she  closed  the  door,  and  was  gone. 

I  had  meant  to  give  her  my  life.  I  had  only 
139 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

succeeded  in  taking  away  from  her  that  part  of  it 
that  had  been  helpful  to  her. 

I  find  it  difficult  to  reconstruct  the  hour  that 
followed.  I  remember  standing  a  long  while  by 
the  window.  Once  I  went  to  her  door,  just  so  that 
I  might  hear  her  moving  about  her  room.  But  as 
I  stood  there  it  seemed  like  an  intrusion,  and  I 
came  away. 

Many,  many  things  that  I  might  have  said  to  her 
came  rushing  to  my  thoughts.  I  wanted  to  say 
them  now.  I  wanted  to  go  right  into  her  room 
and  say  them. 

All  the  time  my  heart  was  beating  very  rapidly, 
and  my  blood  was  hot.  Love,  it  seems,  is  like  a 
fever.  I  never  knew  this  before.  I  have  always 
thought  it  a  weakness  when  I  have  seen  what  men 
call  love  apparently  devastating  a  life.  Now  I  see 
that  I  must  correct  this  judgment.  For  love  is  a 
force  that  operates  beyond  the  jurisdiction  of  rea- 
son or  will.  I  begin  to  think  that  I  must  expect 
less  assistance  from  my  own  reason  than  hereto- 
fore. 

That  long,  wild  hour  of  my  solitude  somehow 
passed.  It  occurred  to  me  to  go  outdoors.  I 
picked  up  my  hat  and  stick.  Then,  irresolute,  I 
moved  to  the  window  and  looked  out  over  the  city. 

While  I  stood  there  Sir  Robert  came  up  the 
140 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

stairs.  I  heard  his  ponderous  step,  more  hurried 
than  usual,  come  along  the  corridor.  There  was  a 
silence  while,  I  knew,  he  was  fumbling  for  his 
key.  Then  a  jingling,  and  the  sound  of  his  door 
opening. 

I  think  that  an  old  man  is  the  structure  his 
younger  self  has  built.  How  badly  this  man  has 
built.  Myself,  often  when  tempted  to  do  this  or 
that,  I  have  thought  — "  Will  it  make  toward  a 
sweet  old  age  ?  " 

He  had  talked  to  me  cynically  of  love,  had  Sir 
Robert,  only  a  few  hours  ago.  What  would  he 
say  now  if  he  knew  the  immensity  of  the  forces 
he  had  stirred  and  brought  to  the  surface  of  my 
consciousness.  I  smiled  as  I  thought  that  perhaps 
I  owe  much  to  that  old  man.  I  almost  wanted  to 
thank  him. 

So  I  stood  there  by  the  window,  thinking  many 
things.  And  the  April  air  was  sweet. 

After  a  little  time  I  started  for  my  walk,  my  sec- 
ond walk  this  day  under  stress  of  great  emotion. 
But  in  the  course  of  the  few  hours  intervening  I 
had  crossed  a  line.  The  man  who  was  now  about 
to  step  lightly  down  the  stairs  and  stroll  out  through 
the  shabby  office  of  the  hotel  was  a  new  man,  one 
who  had  never  before  gone  down  those  stairs  or 
out  through  that  office. 

141 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  lingered  a  moment  by  her  door.  I  could  hear 
her  light  step.  And  she  was  humming  —  oh,  so 
softly!  Humming  another  song  by  her  favorite, 
Franz.  It  was  the  dainty,  exquisite  — 

"  Madchen  mit  dem  roten  Mundchen." 

It  seemed  to  me  that  there  was  a  new  brightness 
in  her  voice. 

I  slipped  out  into  the  corridor. 

Sir  Robert's  door  stood  open.  I  stepped  across 
and  looked  in.  I  had  pushed  my  hat  to  the  back 
of  my  head,  to  let  the  air  cool  my  forehead.  And 
I  think  I  was  swinging  my  stick. 

From  behind  the  closed  door  across  the  hall 
came,  very  faintly,  that  floating,  silvery  voice. 

Sir  Robert's  room  was  in  confusion.  He  had 
drawn  his  leather  steamer  trunk  to  the  center 
of  the  room,  opened  it,  and  placed  the  tray  across 
an  arm-chair  that  stood  by  the  head  of  the  bed. 
The  bed  was  covered  with  shirts,  underwear,  col- 
lars, books  and  papers  in  disorderly  heaps.  Shoes 
littered  the  floor.  His  evening  clothes  were  laid 
out  on  the  table,  other  suits  across  a  chair. 

On  the  edge  of  the  bed,  amid  the  disorder,  sat 
Sir  Robert.  He  was  in  his  shirt  sleeves.  His 
waistcoat  was  unbuttoned,  his  white  hair  rumpled 
so  that  it  stuck  up  grotesquely  over  his  ears. 

142 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  Well,  well,"  said  I.    "  Is  n't  this  unexpected  ?  " 

He  looked  up. 

His  face  never  had  any  color  to  speak  of,  but 
now  it  was  a  pasty  gray.  His  eyes  were  sunken, 
but  with  a  curious  sparkle  in  them.  He  said  noth- 
ing, just  stared  at  me. 

"Well,"  I  repeated,  "are  you  leaving?" 

Still  he  merely  stared  at  me.  It  was  unpleasant. 
I  felt  my  assurance  fading  out,  and  stood  stupidly 
there,  unable  to  think  of  anything  further  to  say. 

"  He  's  here !  "  whispered  Sir  Robert  then. 

"  Who  —  who  — "     My  nerves  were  tightening. 

The  left  side  of  his  face  twitched. 

I  heard  myself  saying  — "  But  that 's  impossible. 
He  would  n't  be  here  yet." 

Sir  Robert  dropped  his  eyes  now.  I  was  glad 
of  this.  They  made  me  extremely  uncomfortable. 
He  began  packing  his  shirts  in  the  tray  of  his 
trunk. 

"  How  did  he  come  here?  "  It  was  still  myself 
speaking. 

"  Good  God  —  how  should  I  know !  "  he  mut- 
tered. "  What  has  that  to  do  with  it?  " 

"  Where  are  you  going?  " 

"  I  don't  know,"  he  was  answering  me.  "  There 
are  trains  in  the  morning.  And  I  won't  stay  here 
to-night.  I  won't  stay  here  to-night !  " 

143 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  Are  you  sure  of  this?  "  I  asked.  Why  was  it 
that  my  mind  seemed  to  be  refusing  utterly  to  re- 
act from  this  news !  Why  could  n't  I  realize  it ! 
Why  could  n't  I  think ! 

"  He  's  at  the  Wagon-lits.  I  saw  him.  He  is 
drinking.  This  is  no  place  for  you,  either.  I  ad- 
vise you  to  move  quick." 

"  No,"  said  I,  "  I  shall  see  him.  He  and  I  got 
on  very  well.  I  shall  talk  with  him.  It  is  time 
some  one  forced  him  to  listen  to  reason." 

Sir  Robert,  I  recall,  had  a  shoe  in  his  hand  at 
this  moment.  It  fell  to  the  floor.  At  the  noise, 
we  both  started.  His  face  twitched  again  —  on 
the  left  side.  He  looked  at  me,  with  eyes  like 
little  glass  beads. 

"Why  not?"  I  added. 

Sir  Robert  drew  in  a  long  breath. 

"  Crocker  told  me  he  was  going  to  kill  that 
woman  and  the  man  she  is  living  with,"  he  said, 
slowly  and  huskily. 

"  Yes,"  I  put  in,  with  a  sort  of  eagerness,  "  but 
don't  you  see  — " 

"  It  would  be  exceedingly  difficult  to  convince  a 
jury,"  he  went  on,  deliberately  silencing  me,  "  that 
she  is  not  at  present  living  with  — " 

"  Well?  "  said  I,  thinking  queer,  rapid  thoughts. 

"  You,"  he  finished. 

144 


April  1 2th  —  very  late. 

I  WALKED  slowly  back  into  my  own  room, 
trying  to  think ;  but  my  mind  was  inert. 

In  the  next  room  Heloise  was  still  singing,  softly 
and  brightly. 

I  stepped  out  on  the  little  balcony. 

What  was  it  Sir  Robert  had  said  ?  Oh,  yes,  that 
Crocker  had  come  to  Peking.  This  was  dreadful. 
It  meant  trouble.  One  way  or  the  other,  I  myself 
was  involved  in  this  trouble.  A  wife  is,  in  a  sense, 
the  property  of  her  husband  —  in  a  sense.  If  she 
dishonors  his  home  by  leaving  him  for  another,  he 
has  some  right  to  be  indignant  If  his  outraged 
sense  of  possession  lashes  him  into  a  murderous 
passion  he  can  not  be  stopped  from  killing  her. 
In  England  now  —  something  about  competent 
witnesses.  And  the  difficulty  of  convincing  a  jury 
that  she  was  not  living  with  me.  .  .  . 

In  the  confusion  of  mind  that  lay  over  my  facul- 
ties like  a  paralysis,  one  curious  fact  sticks  out  in 
my  memory.  I  deliberately  shook  myself,  stand- 
ing there  on  my  balcony.  I  tried  to  shake  myself 
awake. 

145 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  seemed  to  be  recalling  a  story  that  the  fat 
vaudeville  manager  from  Cincinnati  told  on  the 
ship,  one  night.  It  had  to  do  with  a  celebrated 
prize  fight  in  New  York  some  years  back.  He 
reveled  in  memories  of  fights,  that  vaudeville  man. 
An  odd  mental  habit ! 

On  the  occasion  he  mentioned,  one  fighter  was 
knocked  down  and  very  nearly,  as  the  phrase  runs, 
"  out."  Lying  there  upon  the  floor  of  the  ring, 
dazed,  all  but  unconscious,  the  man  actually  beat 
his  own  head  against  the  floor  in  a  desperate  effort 
to  rouse  himself. 

Over  and  over  again  that  picture  rose  in  my 
mind.  I  have  never  witnessed  such  a  spectacle. 
Primitive  brutality  has  played,  needless  to  say,  no 
part  in  my  life.  But  at  this  time,  caught  up  and 
whirled  about,  as  I  was,  in  a  bewildering  conflict 
of  primitive  emotions,  it  was  a  second-hand  recol- 
lection of  the  prize  ring  that  came  to  my  aid. 

The  fact  is  not  uninteresting. 

I  chanced  to  glance  down.  A  tiny,  lacy  ball  lay 
there  at  my  feet.  I  picked  it  up.  It  was  Heloise's 
handkerchief. 

I  held  the  absurdly  small  square  of  linen  and 
lace  in  my  two  hands  and  looked  at  it.  I  folded 
and  unfolded  it.  I  pressed  it  to  my  lips,  again  and 
again. 

146 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Am  I  to  become  the  helpless  victim  of  these 
crude  emotional  uprushes  —  like  any  common  clerk 
with  his  shopgirl?  I,  who  have  for  so  long  ob- 
served the  human  herd  from  afar  with  a  sort  of 
casual  interest?  ...  I  wonder. 

Suddenly  the  thought  of  the  man  Crocker  came 
to  me.  He  was  in  this  city.  He  was  over  there 
in  the  Legation  Quarter,  behind  the  walls  that  I 
could  see  —  over  in  the  big  hotel.  He  was  drink- 
ing again.  And  there  was  murder  in  his  heart. 

It  seems  to  me  that  this  thought  —  I  am  trying 
to  face  my  strange,  new  self,  and  set  everything 
down;  God  knows  I  need  the  discipline!  —  that 
this  thought  was  followed  by  a  little  blaze  of 
heroics.  I  am  somewhat  confused  about  this,  of 
course  —  one  can  not  analyze  one's  own  emotions 
with  any  degree  of  accuracy  while  they  are  still 
active  —  but  I  recall  going  out  into  the  hall  and 
standing  there  like  a  sentry.  I  was  determined 
to  protect  my  lady  with  my  life.  I  saw  myself 
fighting  gloriously  for  her;  and  I  saw  her,  close 
at  hand,  witnessing  my  every  valiant  act,  and  ex- 
ulting in  my  prowess. 

A  child  has  such  notions.     And,  I  note,  a  lover. 

I  stood  for  a  time  at  the  top  of  the  stairs. 
Crocker  should  never  mount  those  stairs  alive. 
Behind  me,  through  the  transom  of  number  eight- 

147 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

een,  there  occasionally  came  floating  clear  little 
threads  of  tone.  Heloise  was  singing  as  she 
moved  about  her  room.  She  did  not  know.  And 
she  should  not  know  —  not  yet.  Perhaps  I  could 
find  a  way  to  spare  her.  At  any  rate,  Crocker 
would  never  pass  those  stairs  without  fighting  his 
way  over  my  body. 

Once  I  tiptoed  back  and  tapped  at  Sir  Robert's 
door;  even  tried  the  knob,  but  it  was  locked.  He 
had  gone,  evidently. 

I  don't  seem  to  know  quite  why  I  sought  that 
old  man  again.  It  was  an  impulse.  Perhaps  I 
wanted  him  to  see  that  his  warning  had  had  no 
effect  on  me,  none  whatever. 

It  was  getting  on  into  the  early  evening  now, 
say  between  seven  and  eight.  I  half-saw  one  of 
the  Chinese  waiters  come  up  the  stairs  with  a  tray 
for  Heloise.  I  leaned  against  the  wall  when  he 
passed.  But  for  some  reason  it  did  not  occur  to 
me  to  order  food  for  myself.  I  could  not  have 
eaten  out  there  in  the  hall,  anyway ;  and  were  I  to 
sit  in  my  room,  even  with  the  door  open,  there 
was  a  possibility  that  Crocker  might  rush  by  be- 
fore I  could  stop  him.  So  I  ate  nothing,  all  the 
evening.  I  could  n't  eat  now,  if  food  were  brought 
to  nie.  The  reactions  of  what  we  call  love  are 
curiously  related,  it  appears,  to  the  various  bodily 

148 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

appetites.  I  am  almost  ready  to  define  love  as  a 
general  disturbance  of  all  the  nerve  centers,  ac- 
companied by  strong,  positive,  emotional  excite- 
ment and  a  partial  paralysis  of  the  reasoning  fac- 
ulty. 

Some  little  time  passed  while  I  stood  there  at 
the  head  of  the  stairs.  A  fit  of  impatience,  that 
may  have  had  in  it  an  element  of  morbid  eagerness 
to  hasten  the  event,  took  possession  of  me.  After 
all,  it  was  not  essential  that  I  should  stand  guard 
at  that  particular  spot.  I  walked  slowly  down  the 
stairs  and,  making  a  strong  effort  to  appear  un- 
concerned, through  the  office  and  out  the  door. 
He  would  have  to  come  in  this  way. 

I  walked  slowly  along  the  narrow  street  toward 
the  Italian  glacis.  It  would  be  better,  much  better, 
to  meet  him  out  here. 

There  has  been  a  chill  in  the  air  this  evening. 
And  the  wind  has  risen,  stirring  up  clouds  of  the 
powdery  loess  dust  that  is  the  curse  of  this  won- 
derful old  city. 

For  a  long  time  I  paced  that  street,  breathing 
at  times  through  my  handkerchief  in  order  to 
avoid  the  choking  dust. 

As  the  evening  wore  away,  my  resolution  weak- 
ened. I  began  to  see  myself  for  the  absurdity  I 
unquestionably  was  —  I  the  thin,  nervous  man  of 

149 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

science,  pitifully  inexperienced  in  the  ways  of  this 
sadly  violent  world,  yet  endeavoring  to  swell  my- 
self up  (like  the  frog  in  the  fable)  into  a  creature 
fit  to  cope  with  that  world.  It  is  absurd.  I  am 
not  a  violent  man.  I  don't  understand  violence. 
There  is  no  place  for  it  in  my  philosophy,  for  my 
philosophy  is  based  on  fact  and  reason.  There 
is  no  room  for  violence  in  an  orderly  world.  Yet, 
under  the  pretense  of  civilization  which  is  spread 
so  plausibly  over  the  surface  of  modern  human 
life,  I  am  confronted  at  every  turn  by  the  spirit 
of  violence.  And  my  own  reason  and  sense  of 
fact,  in  which  I  have  so  often  sought  sanctuary, 
have  now  failed  me  utterly. 

Little  by  little  my  walks  to  and  fro  carried  me 
farther  into  the  broad  open  park  that  is  called  the 
glacis.  That  odd,  morbid  eagerness  was  drawing 
me  steadily  nearer  and  nearer  the  little  foreign 
city  within  the  Legation  walls. 

Finally  I  entered  the  Quarter.  The  great  ma- 
sonry walls  fairly  breathed  of  violence. 

There  is  a  sharp  angle  in  this  narrow  road  where 
it  enters  the  Quarter,  so  constructed  that  the  street 
can  not  be  raked,  from  without,  by  shot  and  shell. 

I  passed  under  a  sentry  box  on  the  wall,  from 
which  an  armed  soldier  peered  out  at  me  —  placed 
there  because  he  might  be  needed  to  prevent  or 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

commit  murder.  For  he  and  his  like  are  but  the 
trained  agents  of  violence,  masquerading  behind  a 
thin  film  of  patriotism  and  what  men  still  call 
glory. 

Once  within  the  walls  I  walked  very  rapidly.  I 
was  conscious  that  my  whole  body  had  tightened 
nervously,  but  I  was  powerless  to  relax.  The  blood 
was  racing  through  my  arteries  and  veins.  I  could 
feel  that  old  throbbing  at  the  back  of  my  head. 
And  my  forehead  was  sweating  so  that  I  had  to 
push  my  hat  back.  I  carried  my  heavy  walking 
stick  —  it  had  seemed  that  I  might  need  it  —  and 
I  was  swinging  it  as  I  walked,  gripping  it  so 
tightly  by  the  middle  that  it  all  but  hurt  my  hand. 

There  was  no  stopping  me  now.  I  went  straight 
through  to  Legation  Street,  hurried  along  it,  past 
the  bank  and  the  big  German  store,  and  turned  off 
south  toward  the  great  hotel  with  its  hundreds  of 
bright  lights  and  its  noisy  little  swarm  of  rick- 
shawmen  on  the  curb. 

I  entered  the  wide  hall  that  leads  to  the  office 
and  stood  there,  while  my  eyes  searched  about 
among  the  moving,  chatting  groups  of  people. 
There  was  a  circle  of  tourists  about  the  old  Chi- 
nese conjuror  who  sat  on  his  heels  in  a  corner 
among  his  cloths  and  bowls  and  what  not ;  I  walked 
slowly  around  this  circle,  seeking  the  erect  figure, 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  solid  shoulders,  and  the  drink-flushed  face  of 
Crocker. 

I  walked  deliberately  through  the  lounge,  study- 
ing every  solitary  figure  there  among  the  easy 
chairs  and  the  little  tables  and  the  potted  shrub- 
bery. 

I  went  down  the  long  corridor  to  the  bar,  and 
stood  squarely  on  the  threshold  surveying  the  large 
room.  There  was  a  considerable  number  of  men 
there  —  fifty  or  more,  easily.  The  dress  uniforms 
of  half  the  armies  of  Europe  flashed  their  gilt  at 
me.  All  the  tables  were  occupied,  and  there  was  a 
solid  rank  at  the  bar,  behind  which  slab  of  mahog- 
any the  sober,  silent  Chinese  waiters  worked  deftly 
at  catering  to  the  vices  of  these  dignified  gentle- 
men from  the  Christian  West,  now  and  then  paus- 
ing to  take  in  the  scene  with  inscrutable,  slanting 
eyes.  There  was  much  loud  talk,  some  laughter, 
and,  at  one  of  the  tables,  a  little  quarreling. 

Here,  sure  enough,  was  Crocker. 

He  sat  in  the  corner  across  from  the  door  and  a 
little  to  the  left.  He  was  alone.  A  whisky  bottle 
stood  before  him  on  the  table,  and  a  number  of 
glasses.  His  face  was  very  red.  His  big,  usually 
vigorous  body  leaned  limply  against  the  wall.  His 
head  rolled  slowly  back  and  forth.  There  could 
be  no  doubt  that  he  was  very  drunk.  It  seemed 

152 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

to  me  that  he  would  have  rolled  to  the  floor  had  not 
his  body  been  wedged  in  between  the  wall  and  the 
back  of  his  chair. 

I  will  admit  that  I  was  profoundly  relieved. 
Nothing  could  be  done  to-night.  Crocker  could 
not  act,  or  talk,  or  even  listen. 

Even  now  I  feel  that  relief.  Though  I  have 
observed  Crocker  closely  enough  to  know  that 
when  he  recovers  from  this  debauch  he  will  be 
dangerously  unbalanced,  I  am  glad  of  even  a  day's 
delay.  He  was  in  what  he  himself  referred  to  as 
the  "  hangover  "  stage  when  he  knocked  down  the 
waiter  at  Yokohama. 

I  may  as  well  admit  further  —  since  this  jour- 
nal must  be  honest  or  else  cease  to  exist  —  that 
this  first  sight  of  the  man  since  Heloise  entered  my 
life  and  so  vitally  changed  it  was  unexpectedly 
unsettling  to  me.  Despite  his  condition  at  the  mo- 
ment, I  felt  again,  looking  at  his  shoulders  and 
chest  and  arms  and  the  outlines  of  his  head,  the 
primitive  force  of  the  man.  And  the  expression 
of  his  face,  now  maudlin  with  drink,  oddly  re- 
called my  memory  of  him  as  I  had  last  seen  him,  at 
the  Yokohama  station  when  there  were  tears  on 
it.  I  had  never  before  seen  a  man  cry.  I  do  not 
know  that  the  possibility  of  such  extreme  emotion 
in  a  strong  man  had  ever  occurred  to  me. 

153 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

He  holds  ideas  regarding  men,  women  and  mo- 
rality that  are  profoundly  repellent  to  me,  this 
crude  yet  not  wholly  unattractive  man.  He  is 
permitting  his  life  to  be  wrecked  for  these  ideas 
—  which  at  least  indicates  some  sincerity. 
Heaven  knows  a  man  can't  "  own  "  a  woman,  or  a 
woman  "  own "  a  man.  Neither  can  possibly 
possess  more  of  the  other  than  that  other  is  com- 
pelled by  the  power  of  love  to  give.  There  are 
no  "  rights  "  in  love. 

Yet  —  and  this  is  the  puzzling  thing  —  when 
I  was  with  Crocker,  I  liked  him.  And  he  liked 
me. 

Savagely  as  he  is  mistreating  his  splendidly 
vigorous  body,  desperately  as  he  is  permitting  his 
mind  to  become  confused  and  brutalized,  he  is, 
even  now,  by  no  means  a  besotted  man.  I  am  not 
certain  that  he  could  properly  be  termed  a  drunk- 
ard. There  is  yet  stuff  in  him.  There  is  energy 
in  him,  that  could  be  used.  But  in  his  stubborn 
purpose  of  destruction  he  is  incidentally  destroy- 
ing himself. 

What  is  this  mystery  of  sex  that  it  should  enter 
a  man's  heart  in  the  guise  of  love  only  to  tear  that 
heart  to  pieces? 

Pale  wanderings,  these!  And  sad.  For  they 
tell  me  that  in  all  the  so-called  practical  affairs  of 

154 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

life  I  am  a  weak  person  of  confused  mentality. 
There  is  bitterness  in  the  thought. 

I  rather  like  that  man.  I  think  I  feel  a  deep 
pity  for  him.  And  I  am  his  mortal  enemy.  I 
can  not  understand  it.  But  it  is  so. 

I  think  I  will  give  you  up,  you  Journal  that  have 
so  long  been  my  companion  in  the  rich  solitude  of 
my  working  life.  For  this  life  of  mine  is  a  work- 
ing life  no  longer.  It  has  turned  off  into  the  dark 
byways  of  passion.  My  purpose,  hitherto  com- 
pelling, falters  now.  My  once  clear  mind  is 
clouded  and  confused.  I  do  not  know  when  I 
shall  work  again.  I  do  not  know  what  I  shall  do. 
I  only  know  that  all  is  dark  and  still  in  the  room 
next  to  this  dingy  room  of  mine,  and  that  a  sad, 
beautiful  woman  sleeps  softly  there.  I  only  know 
that  I  love  her  beyond  my  strength,  and  yet  that  I 
seem  unable  to  hate  the  man  who  would  hate  me 
if  he  knew. 

It  is  only  a  little  later  —  in  the  very  early  morn- 
ing. I  have  reconsidered.  I  shall  not  yield  to 
this  weakness.  After  all,  it  may  steady  me  to  con- 
tinue my  old-time  habit  of  writing  everything 
down.  Besides,  it  is  clear  that  I  shall  have  no 
sleep  this  night.  It  will  be  better  to  keep  occupied 
at  something. 

155 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

It  was  my  weakness  for  introspection,  I  think, 
that  brought  me  to  that  state  of  bewilderment.  I 
seem  to  get  along  better  when  I  confine  my  narra- 
tive closely  to  the  facts.  I  must  resolve  again,  as 
I  have  resolved  before,  simply  to  tell  what  took 
place.  Just  tell  it. 

I  turned  away  from  the  bar-room  door.  A 
number  of  men  from  one  of  the  legations  ap- 
proached along  the  corridor.  They  were  talking 
and  laughing  rather  freely,  and  were  all  tall  men, 
so  that  I  neither  heard  nor  saw  the  man  behind 
them  until  after  I  had  stepped  aside  and  across  the 
corridor  to  let  them  pass  in  to  the  bar.  And  the 
man  behind  followed  them  in  without  seeing  me. 

It  was  Sir  Robert.  He  was  in  evening  dress,  of 
course,  true  to  his  British  breeding.  His  monocle 
dangled  against  his  shirt  front.  He  was  bowed  a 
little.  His  hands  shook  perceptibly  as  he  walked. 
And  I  observed  that  same  new  nervous  twitching 
on  the  left  side  of  his  face. 

He  stepped  a  little  way  into  the  room  and  looked 
about,  as  I  had  done.  I  waited.  I  did  not  seem 
to  care  whether  he  saw  me  or  not,  but  felt  no  de- 
sire to  invite  conversation  with  him. 

His  eyes  finally  rested  on  the  drunken  man  in 
the  corner.  His  left  eyelid  drooped  and  drooped, 
as  it  always  does  when  he  is  thinking  intently.  It 

156 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

seemed  to  me  that  he  stood  there  for  a  long  time, 
and  that  there  was  irresolution  on  his  face.  My- 
self, I  could  not  take  my  eyes  off  him;  it  fascinated 
me  to  watch  his  drooping  eyelid  and  the  twitching 
corner  of  his  mouth. 

After  a  time  he  slowly  turned  and  came  out.  He 
did  not  so  much  as  know  that  I  was  there.  He 
was  studying  the  carpeted  floor  —  thinking,  think- 
ing. I  followed  him. 

He  moved  slowly  out  through  the  lounge  to  the 
street  door,  bowing  coldly  to  certain  of  the  in- 
dividuals he  passed.  He  went  out,  and  down  the 
steps. 

The  ragged  rickshaw  coolies  pressed  about  him. 
He  brushed  them  aside  with  his  hand.  For  a  mo- 
ment he  stood  there,  on  the  stone  sidewalk.  Once 
he  turned,  as  if  to  reenter  the  hotel;  but  wavered, 
and  stood  still  again. 

I  thought  he  saw  me,  waiting  in  the  doorway, 
but  believe  now  that  he  did  not. 

Finally  he  stepped  up  into  a  rickshaw,  and  waved 
his  hand.  His  coolie  picked  up  the  shafts  and 
set  off  on  a  run. 

I  hurried  down  the  steps,  leaped  into  the  next 
rickshaw,  and  followed. 

He  went  as  directly  as  the  streets  permitted  to 
our  little  Hotel  de  Chine. 

157 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

So  he  was  coming  back ! 

I  dismissed  my  rickshaw  at  the  corner  of  the 
street  and  walked  to  the  hotel. 

He  was  not  to  be  seen  in  office  or  lounge,  so  I 
went  on  up  the  stairs. 

As  I  mounted,  I  heard  voices.  I  stopped  short 
when  my  eyes  cleared  the  top  step,  and  looked  down 
the  corridor. 

Heloise's  door  was  a  little  ajar.  I  could  tell  this 
by  the  rectangular  shaft  of  light  thrown  from  her 
room  across  the  dim  passage.  Sir  Robert  had 
unlocked  his  own  door,  just  across  from  it,  and 
was  standing  with  his  hand  on  the  knob,  crouching 
a  little,  evidently  listening  to  the  conversation  in 
her  room. 

I  stood  motionless. 

One  of  the  voices  —  that  of  a  man  —  grew  a 
little  louder;  but  I  was  too  far  off,  there  on  the 
stairs,  to  catch  what  he  was  saying.  Then  rather 
abruptly,  the  door  swung  open  and  the  man  backed 
out.  He  was  the  manager  of  the  hotel. 

At  the  same  instant  Sir  Robert,  with  agility 
surprising  in  one  of  his  age,  darted  into  his  own 
room  and  swiftly,  but  softly,  swung  the  door  nearly 
to  behind  him.  The  manager  was  too  intent  on 
his  own  words  and  thoughts  to  know  of  this. 

I  could  not  think  what  to  do.  The  one  thing 
158 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  was  sure  of  was  that  I  did  not  want  to  speak  to 
the  manager,  coming,  as  he  was,  directly  from  her 
room.  So  I  ran  down  the  stairs,  and  was  in  the 
lounge  looking  at  a  magazine  when  he  appeared  on 
the  ground  floor. 

I  waited  a  few  moments  longer,  then  went  up 
again.  I  simply  had  to  know  what  Sir  Robert 
was  about.  And  again  I  stopped  when  my  head 
rose  just  above  the  top  step. 

Sure  enough,  there  he  was  —  that  old  man !  — 
crouching  by  her  door  and  tapping  softly  at  it 
with  his  shaking  fingers.  I  felt  a  slow,  cold  sort 
of  dread  creep  across  my  mind  and  my  nerves.  I 
did  not  move. 

He  tapped  and  tapped  —  oh,  so  softly!  He 
stooped  to  the  keyhole  and  whispered.  I  could  not 
hear  him,  but  I  could  see  it  all  in  pantomime. 

He  gave  this  up;  and  stood  thinking.  He 
slipped  into  his  own  room  and  switched  on  the 
light,  but  did  not  close  the  door.  In  a  very  short 
time  he  reappeared  with  a  white  paper  in  his  hand 
—  an  envelope,  doubtless. 

And  for  the  second  time  I  had  to  watch  this 
monstrous  old  man  get  down  on  his  shaking  knees 
and  with  a  pencil  thrust  his  evil  communication  in 
under  her  door. 

This  done,  he  got  to  his  feet  (I  could  hear  his 
159 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

heavy  breathing),  lingered  only  a  moment,  then  re- 
turned to  his  room,  leaving  his  door  ajar. 

I  came  on  up  the  stairs  then,  walking  as  heavily 
as  possible,  and  let  myself  into  my  own  room  here. 

I  kept  silent  for  quite  a  time  until  I  heard  Sir 
Robert's  door  shut.  Then  I  tapped  on  Heloise's 
door.  Again  and  again  I  tapped  there,  but  she 
would  not  reply.  She  is  avoiding  me,  and  that  is 
disturbing.  Her  light  went  out  soon  after  that. 

On  looking  back,  I  see  that  I  have  spoken  of  her 
as  sleeping.  Since  then  I  have  thought,  on  two 
occasions,  that  I  have  heard  her  tiptoeing  about 
her  room;  but  for  the  most  part  it  has  been  un- 
usually still  there.  I  have  wondered  if  she  is  out 
on  her  balcony;  but  I  dare  not  look.  I  shrink 
from  it.  For  she  is  avoiding  me.  She  would  not 
answer  my  tapping  on  her  door  —  the  light,  nerv- 
ous tapping  that  she  knows  so  well.  And  one 
thought  stands  out  in  all  the  dreadful,  turbulent 
confusion  of  this  hour.  It  is  that  I  must  not  try 
to  see  her  if  she  does  not  wish  to  see  me. 

It  is  just  two  o'clock. 

I  shall  not  sleep.  I  shall  not  even  undress. 
This  is  not  wise  of  me,  I  suppose.  But  it  is  the 
way  I  feel.  And  I  am  a  creature  of  feeling 
now.  It  would  help  to  pass  these  dreadful  hours 

160 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

if  I  could  go  on  writing  —  or  if  I  could  read.  But 
she  will  know  it  if  I  do  not  put  out  my  light.  Per- 
haps she  would  worry. 

So  I  shall  sit  here  in  the  dark.  Or  walk  to  the 
window  and  look  out  at  the  sleeping  city  —  at  this 
rich  old  capital  of  a  peaceful  people,  who  smile 
languidly  at  the  turbulent  West  from  which  I 
spring  (like  Crocker  and  his  sorry  kind) — who 
turn  from  the  miseries  of  actual  life  to  the  philoso- 
phy of  their  ancient  seers. 

Though,  come  to  think  of  it,  I  am  wrong  here. 
Even  gentle,  contemplative  old  China  has  been 
drawn  from  her  slumber  of  the  ages  into  the  whirl- 
pool of  modern  life.  I  was  thinking  of  the  past. 
I  had  forgotten.  They  are  carving  out  a  republic 
here  now.  Their  hands  are  stained  with  blood. 
And  the  sometimes  violent  bankers  of  the  Western 
world  sit  coldly  over  them  while  they  struggle. 

There  is  no  peace.  There  is  no  clear  thought. 
There  is  only  life.  Only  life. 


161 


April  I4th. 

ALL  the  rest  of  that  night  of  the  I2th-i3th  I 
sat  in  my  dark  room,  or  softly  walked  the 
floor,  or  gazed  out  at  the  sleeping  city  from  my  one 
window.  And  all  night  I  was  conscious  of  un- 
usual and  increasingly  violent  nervous  reactions. 
Turning  the  pages  back,  I  note  that  I  attempted  the 
other  day  to  write  a  definition  of  love.  This  was 
absurd.  I  do  not  know  what  love  is.  Nobody 
knows.  It  is  a  capricious  and  wild  thing.  It 
flashes  like  the  lightning,  and  rushes  like  the  wind. 
It  grows  by  feeding  on  itself.  It  exalts.  It  dev- 
astates. It  contains  within  itself  all  the  latent 
possibilities  of  nobility  and  service,  of  lust  and 
jealousy,  of  tenderness,  of  sacrifice,  of  murder.  It 
is  a  blind,  insistent  force;  yet  it  shines  before  the 
mind's  eye  like  dewdrops  on  the  gossamer  wings  of 
fairies. 

When  morning  finally  came,  I  stood  there  at  my 
window  and  watched  the  sun  climb  slowly  over  the 
Legation  walls.  It  was  a  flat  red  sun,  hung  be- 
hind a  film  of  dusty  air. 

I  wondered  how  long  it  would  be  before  I  should 
162 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

tap  on  Heloise's  door.  Not  long,  I  feared.  All 
night  I  had  been  waiting ;  all  night  I  had  been  with- 
holding my  hand. 

I  heard  her  get  up,  and  stir  about  her  room.  I 
wondered  if  she  had  slept.  Perhaps,  for  she  still 
did  not  know  what  I  knew. 

For  a  long,  long  time  I  waited. 

Finally,  at  seven  o'clock,  I  tiptoed  across  the 
creaking  floor.  I  stood  there  by  the  door.  I  raised 
my  hand,  then  dropped  it.  My  throat  became  sud- 
denly dry. 

At  length  I  tapped. 

She  had  been  stirring  there,  on  the  other  side  of 
the  door.  Now,  at  the  sound,  she  was  still. 

I  tapped  again.     And  again. 

She  did  not  answer  me. 

I  whispered  her  name.     I  spoke  it  louder. 

This  would  not  do.  Sir  Robert  had  tapped  at 
her  door.  He  too  had  whispered.  She  had  not 
answered  him.  She  would  not  now  answer  me. 
I  turned  away  —  hurt,  bewildered. 

I  do  not  know  how  long  I  stood  there,  motion- 
less, a  little  way  from  the  door.  I  could  not  think 
clearly.  And  all  the  time  it  seemed  to  me  that  I 
must  force  myself  to  think. 

After  a  time  I  deliberately  went  downstairs  and 
ordered  a  light  breakfast.  But  when  it  came  I 

163 


could  not  eat  it.  I  could  only  nibble  at  a  crust  of 
toast  and  sip  a  little  of  the  cafe  au  lait. 

I  went  out  into  the  air  and  walked  about.  It 
was  absolutely  necessary  that  I  should  steady  my- 
self. The  day  was  big  with  evil  possibilities. 
Crocker,  if  I  could  judge  from  my  one  previous 
experience  with  him,  might  be  up  and  about  by 
mid-afternoon.  I  must  control  myself.  I  must 
be  calm.  Crocker  had  a  set  purpose  and  a  strong 
body.  I,  presumably,  though  weak  in  body,  had 
a  mind.  I  was  the  only  obstacle  between  Crocker 
and  his  purpose. 

It  was  just  a  quarter  past  nine  when  I  turned 
back  into  the  street  that  led  to  the  Hotel  de  Chine. 
The  shops,  with  their  highly  colored  displays  and 
their  quaint  smells,  were  all  buzzing  with  the  rush 
of  the  morning  trade.  Coolies,  merchants,  pur- 
chasers and  idlers  of  all  ages  jostled  to  and  fro. 
Underfoot  the  children  swarmed. 

I  was  picking  my  way  through  this  busy  little 
thoroughfare,  when,  looking  up,  I  saw  Heloise 
step  out  of  the  hotel.  She  wore  a  veil  that  hid 
her  face  from  me.  And  then  she  was  a  hundred 
feet  or  so  away.  She  turned  in  my  direction. 
The  street  crowd  closed  in  between  us,  and  for  a 
moment  I  lost  sight  of  her. 

I  remember  plunging  crazily  forward  to  meet 
164 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

her.  Then  I  saw  her  again,  and  my  heart  stood 
still.  For  Sir  Robert  had  followed  her  out  of  the 
hotel  and  caught  up  with  her.  She  had  stopped, 
and  was  listening  to  him. 

He  took  her  arm. 

She  withdrew  her  arm  from  his  touch.  But 
she  made  no  effort  to  leave  him.  She  was  stand- 
ing irresolute,  I  thought,  listening  to  him.  I 
plunged  toward  them  again. 

Then  suddenly  I  stopped.  For  they  were  walk- 
ing together  now  —  right  toward  me.  He  was 
bending  down  over  her.  I  could  see  that  he  was 
talking  to  her,  very  earnestly.  And  she  was  listen- 
ing! 

He  reached  out  with  his  stick,  as  I  watched,  and 
brushed  a  group  of  coolies  aside.  He  was  pro- 
tecting her. 

I  just  stood  there.  I  could  not  think  out  what 
I  ought  to  do.  I  had  meant  to  rescue  her  from 
him.  But  I  could  not  do  this  against  her  wish.  A 
moment  more  and  they  would  be  upon  me. 

Still  I  hesitated.  Finally,  really  without  any 
plan  of  action,  I  stepped  up  and  into  a  Chinese 
shop  and  watched  them  as  they  walked  slowly 
by. 

He  was  talking  —  still  talking  —  in  a  low,  in- 
sistent voice.  I  could  not  hear  what  he  was  say- 

165 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

ing.  And  I  could  not  quite  make  out  her  expres- 
sion behind  her  veil. 

When  they  were  well  past,  I  stepped  out.  I  fol- 
lowed. For  I  had  come  to  this. 

At  the  glacis,  they  turned  to  the  right,  walking, 
oh,  so  slowly.  And  I,  a  miserable  thing  with  noth- 
ing but  ungovernable  turbulence  in  my  heart, 
dodged  in  and  out  among  the  street  traffic,  and 
shadowed  them.  I  shadowed  the  woman  I  love. 

They  went  —  without  thought  or  aim,  appar- 
ently —  around  outside  the  wall  of  the  Imperial 
City  and  toward  the  Chien  Gate.  At  the  western 
end  of  Legation  Street  they  paused,  and  for  a  few 
minutes  stood  on  the  corner.  He  was  talking,  talk- 
ing, talking.  I  saw  him  making  eager,  nervous 
gestures  with  his  monocle  between  his  fingers. 

Then,  slowly,  they  moved  on  toward  the  old 
stone  ramp  that  leads  up  to  the  top  of  the  Tartar 
Wall,  just  outside  the  compound  of  the  American 
Legation. 

I  could  not  follow  them  here,  for  I  should  cer- 
tainly be  seen. 

Heloise  hesitated  once,  and  it  seemed  to  me  that 
she  meant  to  draw  back.  But  after  a  moment 
she  went  on,  and  together  they  slowly  mounted 
the  incline. 

I  turned  away.  I  tried  to  tell  myself  that  there 
1 66 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

was  no  significance  in  this  walk  of  theirs.  What- 
ever it  was  he  wished  to  say  —  up  there  on  the 
broad  summit  of  the  Wall  where  they  could  walk 
and  talk  in  quiet,  removed  from  the  turmoil  of 
the  city  —  certainly  she  had  a  right  to  listen  if  she 
chose.  He  had  been  annoying  her  persistently. 
She  was  not  the  sort  to  run  away  from  anything. 
She  was  unafraid.  Perhaps  by  facing  him  and 
hearing  him  out  she  would  dispose  of  him  once 
and  for  all. 

But  I  did  not  succeed  in  imposing  this  attitude 
of  mind  on  myself.  And  I  am  going  to  tell  what 
followed.  It  marks  the  lowest  point  to  which  this 
strange  new  self  of  mine  has  sunk  —  as  yet.  It 
must  be  told. 

I  walked  like  mad  the  whole  length  of  Legation 
Street  —  a  mile.  Perhaps  I  ran.  I  don't  know. 
I  rushed  by  the  Wagon-lits  Hotel  with  no  more 
than  a  glance.  I  did  not  seem  to  care  that  Crocker 
was  in  there  and  might  soon  emerge.  I  did  not 
seem  to  care  about  anything.  I  was  all  empty  — 
life  was  laughing  at  me  for  all  the  years  I  had 
taken  it  so  seriously  and  so  hard.  Yet,  empty  and 
purposeless  as  I  felt,  the  forces  that  keep  at  me  so, 
these  days,  were  overwhelming  me. 

I  went  out  through  the  German  Gate  saying  — 
aloud  — "  What  do  I  know  about  this  woman  ? 

167 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

What  is  she  to  me?  Who  is  she,  that  I  should 
permit  her  to  devastate  my  life!  " 

Some  German  soldiers  heard  me,  and  laughed. 

There  I  stood,  a  thin  little  man,  doubtless 
flushed  and  wild  of  eye,  laying  bare  my  poor  torn 
heart  to  the  world;  and  the  soldiers  were  laughing 
at  me. 

I  hurried  away.  An  empty  rickshaw  was  pass- 
ing. I  hailed  it  and  leaped  in.  I  rode  straight  to 
my  little  hotel.  I  ran  up  the  stairs.  I  let  myself 
into  my  room,  and  slammed  the  door  shut  behind 
me.  I  tore  open  the  drawer  of  the  bureau  where  I 
had  carefully  put  away  the  ten  cylinders  on  which 
Heloise  and  I  had  painstakingly  recorded  the  close- 
interval  scales. 

I  got  them  out,  the  ten  boxes  that  I  had  labeled 
so  carefully.  I  threw  them  on  the  bed  in  a  heap. 
I  stood  over  them.  As  nearly  as  I  can  recall  it 
now,  I  laughed  at  them.  For  they  were  hers. 
She  had  made  them.  She  had  made  them  for 
me ;  and  I  had  held  her  within  my  arms.  The  pic- 
ture of  her  there  on  my  balcony,  came  to  me 
with  poignant  vividness.  And  another  picture  — 
Heloise,  in  her  chair  with  her  sewing  in  her  lap, 
singing  that  difficult  scale  successfully  for  the  first 
time,  and  trilling  softly  and  triumphantly  on  the 
last  note,  while  her  eyes  sought  mine.  It  was  all 

168 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

utterly  bewildering.  Suddenly,  from  laughing,  I 
had  to  fight  back  the  sobs  that  came. 

It  was  then  that  I  tore  open  the  boxes,  one  by 
one,  and  threw  the  cylinders  to  the  floor  and 
stamped  on  them.  They  were  merely  a  waxy 
composition,  not  hard  to  destroy.  I  did  not  stop 
until  my  floor  was  strewn  with  the  pieces.  And 
now  no  longer  is  there,  anywhere  in  the  world,  a 
finely  perfect  close-interval  scale  as  a  standard 
basis  of  comparison  for  the  tone-intervals  of  so- 
called  primitive  music.  Von  Stumbostel  will 
never  know  of  my  triumph  now.  Nor  Boag,  nor 
Ramel,  nor  Fourmont,  nor  de  Musseau,  nor  Sir 
Frederick  Rhodes.  That  beastly  little  von  West- 
fall,  of  Bonn,  can  snarl  to  his  heart's  content,  un- 
refuted.  And  the  British  Museum  will  never  see 
this  great  result  that  might  well  have  crowned  my 
work  and  my  life. 

All  about  the  room  were  scattered  the  bits  of 
broken  cylinders.  I  stood  among  them,  trying  to 
think  ahead.  But  I  could  n't  think  ahead.  All  I 
seemed  to  know  was  that  I  could  stay  no  longer 
in  this  shabby  little  hostelry  where  my  life  had 
soared  so  high  and  sunk  so  low. 

I  cleared  a  space  in  the  middle  of  the  room  with 
my  foot,  kicking  the  pieces  of  my  once  precious 
cylinders  aside  as  if  they  were  pebbles.  I  drew 

169 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

out  my  steamer  trunk,  and  opened  it;  got  my 
clothes  from  the  wardrobe  and  threw  them  in  heaps 
on  the  bed;  jerked  out  bureau  drawers  and  set 
them  on  chairs  and  on  the  floor  where  I  could 
reach  them. 

I  was  still  working  furiously  at  my  packing 
when  she  came  in,  alone.  I  heard  her  light,  quick 
step  in  the  hall,  I  heard  her  unlock  her  door,  and 
enter  her  room.  Then  she  locked  it  again,  on  the 
inside. 

I  stood  there,  coatless  and  collarless.  I  wanted 
to  tap  once  more  at  her  door.  I  hesitated  over 
this  thought.  I  resisted  it.  I  fought  with  it. 

Finally  I  put  on  my  collar  and  coat,  picked  up 
my  hat,  and  rushed  out.  I  could  finish  the  pack- 
ing later.  Certainly,  I  could  n't  finish  it  now,  with 
every  nerve  tip  quiveringly  conscious  of  her  near- 
ness, there  behind  the  thin  partition  and  the 
shrunken  door. 

If  I  should  find  it  too  hard  to  come  back  later, 
I  decided  then,  I  would  send  a  Chinese  valet  from 
the  other  hotel  to  finish  the  job  for  me. 

Among  the  qualities  that  go  to  make  up  the  un- 
rest that  we  call  love,  it  appears  that  self-absorp- 
tion plays  no  small  part.  Perhaps  this  selfishness, 
lying  at  the  root  of  desire,  is  the  element  of  positive 
force  in  love.  I  wonder!  Certainly,  without  it, 

170 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

love  would  be  much  more  nearly  a  negative  thing 
than  it  actually  is. 

It  was  very  primitive,  very  confused,  very  petty, 
this  outbreak  of  mine. 

But  then,  life  is  that. 

And  I  have  destroyed  my  scales! 

It  was  after  eleven  —  in  the  morning  —  when 
I  went  away  from  the  Hotel  de  Chine. 

I  was  angry,  bitter.  Nothing  in  the  world 
seemed  important  except  my  own  feelings. 

I  knew  well  enough  what  I  was  going  to  do. 
There  were  two  or  three  other  shabby  little  hotels 
outside  the  Quarter.  But  I  was  going  straight  to 
the  Wagon-lits.  It  was  twelve  o'clock  now.  I 
decided  to  have  my  tiffin  there.  Then  perhaps  I 
would  send  a  man  around  to  finish  my  packing  and 
fetch  my  luggage. 

As  I  walked  deliberately  into  the  great,  gay 
hotel,  I  was  in  spirit  not  unlike  a  man  who  has 
awakened  from  a  turbulent  dream.  For  here  were 
the  familiar  folk  of  the  West.  On  the  preceding 
evening,  when  I  had  first  entered  this  building,  the 
same  groups  of  tourists,  business  and  military 
men,  and  diplomats,  with  their  ladies,  had  been 
here ;  but  then  I  had  seen  them  with  different  eyes. 
Now  they  looked  natural,  as  we  say.  And  their 
171 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

voices  fell  on  my  ears  with  a  pleasant  reminder  of 
home. 

I  found  a  chair  in  the  lounge,  and  sat  hack  to 
watch  the  bright,  chattering,  shifting  crowd.  I 
glanced  about  for  Crocker,  of  course,  but  saw  no 
sign  of  him.  A  little  later,  jus.t  before  tiffin,  I 
looked  up  his  box,  at  the  desk.  I  wanted  to  ask 
about  him,  but  feared  that  the  clerk  would  think 
I  wished  to  see  him.  God  knows  I  did  n't  wish 
that !  It  was  at  this  time,  I  think,  thai  I  began  to 
realize  the  shadowy  nature  of  the  curious  revulsion 
of  feeling  that  I  had  been  passing  through,  on  this 
day.  I  did  not  feel  so  great  relief  as  I  had  just 
been  telling  myself  I  was  feeling.  Those  vivid 
mental  pictures  of  Heloise,  as  I  had  seen  her  so 
often  in  her  room  or  mine,  kept  flashing  before 
me.  .  .  .  No,  I  didn't  want  to  see  Crocker.  I 
did  want  to  know  where  he  was,  and  what  he  was 
doing.  His  box  told  me  nothing.  There  were  no 
letters  in  it ;  and  his  key  was  not  there.  But  I  had 
no  doubt  he  was  still  in  bed. 

I  ate  my  tiffin  alone  in  the  big  dining-room, 
seated  where  I  could  watch  the  door.  I  fortified 
myself  with  the  latest  papers,  and  tried  to  believe 
that  it  would  be  pleasant  to  pass  a  leisurely  hour 
or  two  there. 

But  I  was  restless.     I  did  n't  seem  to  want  to 
172 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

read,  now  that  I  had  my  comfortable  chair,  and 
unusually  good  food.  When  the  coffee  came,  I 
drank  it  at  a  gulp,  and  went  out. 

I  stepped  over  to  the  desk  to  pay  for  my  tiffin. 
I  reached  into  my  pocket  for  my  purse.  My  fin- 
gers touched  something  filmy  —  Heloise's  handker- 
chief! I  could  not  resist  bringing  it  out,  there 
with  the  Belgian  clerk  looking  coldly  at  me,  and 
staring  at  it  —  that  rumpled  little  ball  of  linen  and 
lace.  This  for  a  moment:  then  I  paid  my  bill 
and  walked  away. 

I  went  right  out  to  the  street.  I  had  to  stare 
again  at  the  little  handkerchief.  I  had  to  press 
it  to  my  lips.  The  rickshaw  coolies  could  see  me ; 
but  I  cared  nothing  for  them,  though  the  tears 
were  crowding  into  my  eyes. 

I  did  not  come  to  my  senses  all  at  once.  I  must 
have  walked  about  until  three  o'clock  or  there- 
abouts. At  least,  it  was  twenty  minutes  past  three 
when  I  found  myself  again  in  the  street  that  leads 
from  the  Italian  glacis  to  our  little  Hotel  de  Chine. 
I  was  humble  now,  and  very  sad. 

For  I  had  gone  to  pieces  this  day.  I  had  failed 
the  woman  I  love.  In  bitter,  jealous  anger  I  had 
failed  her. 

I  had  discovered  in  myself  the  meanest  of  quali- 
ties —  suspicion.  And  utter  selfishness. 

173 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

A  dozen  times  in  those  hours  of  my  revulsion 
Crocker  might  have  come  to  kill  her  —  and  I  not 
at  hand. 

It  was  not  until  I  entered  the  hotel  and  observed 
the  sleepy  quiet  of  the  office  and  lounge  that  I  was 
reassured.  I  could  not  bring  myself  to  go  up- 
stairs, for  she  had  made  it  so  heartbreakingly 
plain  that  she  would  not  see  me.  But  surely  all 
was  well,  as  yet.  Had  there  been  trouble,  there 
would  be  signs  of  it  here. 

I  wondered  if  she  had  gone  out  for  her  custom- 
ary afternoon  walk.  This  thought  bothered  me. 
For  then  she  would  be  coming  back.  I  could  not 
escape  seeing  her.  Now,  I  wanted  to  see  her,  and 
I  did  not  want  to  see  her.  I  seemed  to  have 
reached  a  point,  at  last,  where  I  knew  that  I  would 
not  go  to  pieces  again.  But  this  was  only  while  I 
was  reasonably  sure  that  I  could  avoid  her.  If 
I  were  to  meet  her  face  to  face,  to  look  again  into 
her  great  blue  eyes  with  the  long,  long  lashes,  per- 
haps to  clasp  her  hand,  I  knew  that  I  could  not  be 
sure  of  anything.  Once  that  magic  were  to  surge 
again  in  my  heart,  my  reason  would  fly. 

Such  were  the  facts  of  that  strange  revulsion 
which  pointed  out  to  me  for  the  first  time  a  pitiful 
flaw  in  my  character.  I  failed  Heloise  when  her 
need  of  me  was  most  desperate.  And  nothing  but 

174 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

luck  (as  we  term  it)  saved  her  from  the  worst 
possible  consequences  of  my  weakness. 

It  was  the  first  time  in  my  life  that  I  had  been 
put  to  a  rough,  hard  test.  And  —  the  flaw. 

I  deduce  from  this  fact  the  conclusion  that  the 
sheltered  life,  with  its  corollary  of  so-called  right 
living,  permits  no  true  demonstration  of  character. 
That  fine  quality  is  found  in  the  open,  where  men 
(and  women)  breast  the  rough  tide  of  life,  and 
blunder,  and  struggle,  and  suffer. 

I  paced  our  little  street,  from  the  hotel  entrance 
to  the  glacis,  until  twenty  minutes  of  six.  Heloise 
did  not  appear;  so  doubtless  she  was  safe  in  her 
room.  Crocker  did  not  appear;  so  doubtless  he 
was  still  drunk,  over  at  the  Wagon-lits. 

I  wondered  a  good  deal  about  Sir  Robert. 

Finally  he  entered  our  street  in  a  rickshaw.  I 
stood  squarely  in  the  doorway  of  the  hotel  as  he 
stepped  down  and  paid  off  his  coolie.  He  looked 
about  him  with  quick,  furtive  glances  as  he  crossed 
the  walk.  His  eyes  were  tired,  but  beady  and 
bright.  There  were  spots  of  color  on  his  cheeks. 

He  had  to  pass  so  near  to  me  that  he  could  have 
touched  me.  I  was  staring  right  at  him,  expect- 
antly. I  wanted  to  meet  his  eye,  to  make  him 
meet  mine. 

175 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

But  he  cut  me.  It  was  the  direct  cut,  such  as 
only  an  Englishman  can  administer. 

He  went  on  into  the  building.  I  hesitated  but 
a  second,  then  turned  abruptly  and  followed  him. 

He  was  at  the  desk,  getting  his  mail. 

I  came  to  a  stop  behind  him,  and  fingered  a 
magazine  that  was  on  a  table  there.  It  was  my 
intention  to  make  him  speak. 

The  manager  came  forward  from  an  inner  of- 
fice, brushing  his  clerk  aside.  He  said  some- 
thing —  several  sentences  —  in  a  low  voice  and 
with  a  hesitating,  apologetic  manner;  then  he 
handed  Sir  Robert  a  paper. 

The  old  man  adjusted  his  monocle,  lifted  the 
paper,  and  read  it.     Then,  slowly,  he  crumpled  it 
in  his   unsteady  fingers   and  dropped   it  on   the 
,counter. 

"  You  contemptible  scoundrel !  "  he  said,  with 
one  sharp  glance  at  the  manager. 

"  But  it  is  that  I  do  not  want  to  turn  out  the 
lady  —  to  the  street,"  the  manager  struggled  to  ex- 
plain. 

But  Sir  Robert  walked  away  —  into  the  lounge, 
where  he  beckoned  a  waiter  and  deliberately  or- 
dered his  tea. 

I  stood  there  for  a  few  moments,  I  think,  quite 
motionless.  Was  it  possible  that  — 

176 


It  was  Heloise's  bill  for  two  weeks 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  stepped  up  to  the  desk,  and  asked  for  the 
manager.  He  came  out  to  me. 

"  I  heard  you  speak  of  turning  out  a  lady,"  I 
said,  looking  straight  at  him.  "What  did  you 
mean  by  that  ?  " 

He  hesitated,  then  reached  into  his  pocket  and 
produced  that  identical  crumpled  ball  of  paper  that 
Sir  Robert  had  let  fall  on  the  counter.  He  spread 
it  out,  and  smoothed  down  the  wrinkles.  "  Per- 
haps," he  murmured,  "  I  have  make  the  mistake. 
It  is  too  bad  to  think  that  the  lady  she  can  not — " 

I  snatched  up  the  paper.  It  was  Heloise's  bill, 
for  two  weeks. 

I  paid  him  right  then  and  there  —  in  gold. 

He  muttered  a  jumble  of  apologies. 

I  cut  him  short.  "  You  have  made  a  mistake," 
I  said.  "  Now  have  the  kindness  to  keep  your 
head  shut,  will  you !  " 

He  bowed  himself  back  into  his  little  den.  I 
turned  and  found  Sir  Robert  looking  straight  at 
me,  from  his  chair.  I  must  admit  that  his  eyes 
never  wavered.  And  there,  for  a  long,  tense  mo- 
ment we  stared  at  each  other  like  the  enemies  we 
were.  Then  I  walked  out  to  the  doorway  to  re- 
sume my  watch. 

What  a  fox  he  was !  Even  in  his  desperate,  ter- 
ror-stricken pursuit  of  Heloise,  he  had  deftly 

179 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

avoided  entangling  himself  before  an  outsider. 
And  he  had  extricated  himself,  as  if  by  instinct, 
from  the  slightest  financial  risk  in  the  matter.  I 
knew  then  that  this  old  man  would  give  nothing 
save  as  a  quid  pro  quo. 

In  a  moment  more  I  quite  forgot  him.  I  stood 
there  in  the  little  street,  looking  at  the  shopkeepers 
in  their  doorways  sipping  their  bowls  of  tea  after 
the  rush  and  turmoil  of  the  day.  But  I  don't  think 
I  saw  anything  clearly;  I  remember  some  such 
scene,  and  know  that  I  must  have  observed  it  at 
this  time. 

For  the  thought  of  Heloise,  penniless  in  this 
sorry,  shabby  place,  was  almost  more  than  I  could 
endure.  Though  I  had  wondered,  and  even  wor- 
ried, about  her  finances,  somehow  I  had  not 
thought  of  her  condition  as  utterly  desperate. 

I  don't  know  what  she  would  say  —  or  think; 
for  she  would  say  little  —  if  she  knew  that  I  had 
paid  the  account  for  her.  Even  yet,  I  have  not 
told  her.  I  have  got  to  tell  her,  but  I  see  that  it 
is  going  to  be  difficult.  I  must  think  out  some  way 
of  broaching  the  subject.  Perhaps  I  shouldn't 
have  done  it.  Or  perhaps  a  more  tactful  man 
would  have  found  some  less  crude  way  of  manag- 
ing it.  I  can't  say  as  to  this. 

Standing  there,  I  suddenly  remembered  that 
1 80 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

odd  little  scene  of  the  preceding  evening  that  I 
had  witnessed  from  the  stairway  —  the  manager 
in  her  room  talking  to  her,  and  Sir  Robert  outside, 
at  his  own  door,  listening. 

He  had  known  of  this  trouble.  His  knowledge 
of  it  had  held  him  here  to  annoy  her  with  skilfully 
aimed  persistence.  She  had  been  unwilling  to 
come  to  me.  She  had  not  known  what  to  do.  She 
had  been  helpless. 

Oh,  the  thoughts  that  raced  through  my  mind 
as  I  stood  there  in  the  doorway!  And  the  pic- 
tures that  my  heated  fancy  contrived!  I  wanted 
to  rush  up  those  stairs  and  make  her  speak  to  me. 
It  was  all  I  could  do  to  fight  this  impulse.  I  knew 
that  I  was  going  to  do  this,  sooner  or  later;  but  I 
knew  too  that  I  could  hold  out  a  little  longer.  For 
I  must  not  thrust  myself,  an  ungoverned,  passion- 
shaken  man,  into  her  trouble. 

If  Sir  Robert  had  gone  up,  I  am  sure  I  would 
have  followed  him.  But  he  did  not.  He  sipped  his 
tea  for  a  long  time,  and  nibbled  his  toast.  I  could 
look  in  through  the  doorway  and  see  him.  Then 
he  tried  to  read.  Then  he  wandered  about  the 
lounge,  like  a  tortured  ghost  of  passions  that  had 
died  with  his  prime.  Once  he  came  to  the  hall 
and  stood  irresolute  at  the  foot  of  the  stairs,  twist- 
ing his  monocle  in  his  shaking  fingers. 

181 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

But  then  he  saw  me  standing  there  like  a  sentry. 
And  he  walked  hurriedly  back  into  the  lounge. 

So  the  time  dragged  on.  When  I  looked  again 
at  my  watch  it  was  five  minutes  of  eight.  It  was 
time  for  Sir  Robert's  dinner.  Few  things  in  life, 
I  knew,  were  more  important  to  him.  Perhaps 
he  would  go  over  to  the  Wagon-lits  for  it.  Any- 
way, unless  he  had  some  definite  knowledge  of 
Crocker's  whereabouts,  he  would  not  wait  about 
here  much  longer,  for  he  was  a  coward;  his  as- 
surance had  been  undermined  by  the  consciousness 
of  his  own  guilty  intentions.  That  much  I  had 
seen  twenty-four  hours  and  more  earlier,  when 
he  warned  me  about  Crocker. 

But  he  did  not  go  to  the  Wagon-lits.  He  went, 
instead,  into  the  dingy  dining-room  of  our  own 
hotel.  And  I  kept  my  watch,  out  there  at  the 
street  door.  A  little  later  it  occurred  to  me  that 
I  had  seen  no  tray  going  up  the  stairs. 

I  stepped  in  and  ordered  the  manager  to  send 
up  a  waiter  to  number  eighteen.  There  seemed 
to  be  no  use  in  holding  back  now.  So  far  as  that 
manager  was  concerned,  I  had  crossed  the  line  — 
both  for  myself  and  Heloise.  And  he,  at  least, 
would  say  nothing.  His  poor  mind  was  already 
Itull  of  such  unpleasant  secrets  as  he  imagined  mine 
to  be. 

,182 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

The  waiter  went  up,  and  in  a  moment  returned. 
The  manager  stepped  out  to  me. 

"  The  lady  she  does  not  answer  to  the  waiter's 
knock,"  said  he,  all  concern  and  deference. 

I  could  only  bite  my  lip,  and  try  to  think,  and 
then  turn  away  from  him. 

Pretty  soon  Sir  Robert  came  out  from  the  din- 
ing-room, and  made  straight  for  the  stairs.  He 
was  walking  slowly  and  rather  uncertainly.  It 
seemed  to  me  that  he  was  a  good  deal  bent.  When 
he  reached  the  hall,  I  observed  that  the  spots  of 
color  had  left  his  cheeks.  His  face,  indeed,  was 
pasty  white. 

I  stepped  inside  and  tried  to  make  him  face  me. 
But  he  cut  me  again,  magnificently.  He  reached 
for  the  railing,  and  slowly  mounted  the  stairs. 

Deliberately  I  followed.  So  we  went  up  to  the 
second  floor  —  he  fumbling  along  just  ahead  of 
me,  I  holding  back. 

I  stood  behind  him  while  he  unlocked  his  door. 
But  weak  as  he  was  physically,  he  never  once  let 
down  in  his  attitude  of  ignoring  my  existence.  I 
am  not  so  certain  that  he  is  a  coward.  I  am  cer- 
tain only  that  the  human  creature  is  extremely 
complex,  extremely  difficult  to  classify  and  formu- 
late. 

He  went  in,  and  made  an  effort  to  shut  the  door 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

in  my  face.  But  I  caught  it  on  my  elbow,  and 
followed  him  in,  closing  it  behind  me. 

He  sank  into  a  chair,  and  looked  up  at  me. 
Now,  at  last  he  had  to  speak. 

"  Well  — "  he  asked,  "  what  is  it  ?  Why  do  you 
come  in  here  ?  " 

I  kept  my  voice  well  in  hand.  Heloise  must 
not  hear  this. 

"  To  ask  you  several  questions,"  I  replied. 
"Where  is  Crocker?" 

"  At  the  Wagon-lits  —  still  drunk." 

"You  know  this?" 

"  I  saw  him,  only  a  few  hours  back.  Went  to 
his  room,  in  fact." 

He  was  speaking,  I  have  realized  since,  with 
some  physical  effort;  but  his  mind  was  steady 
enough.  He  seemed  to  be  simply  making  the  best 
of  it,  since  he  had  been  unable  to  keep  me  out  by 
force. 

"  He  is  not  likely  to  be  up  and  about  before  the 
morning?  "  said  I. 

"  He  is  certain  not  to.  But  they  stopped  selling 
him  liquor  this  afternoon.  I  learned  that  from  the 
manager.  So  he  will  be  nervous  to-morrow. 
And  probably  dangerous.  Undoubtedly  danger- 
ous." His  eyes  flitted  about  the  room,  and  then 
I  saw  that  his  baggage,  all  packed  excepting  one 

184 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

bag,  was  still  there.  "  So  I  will  leave  him  to  you. 
I  take  the  Tientsin  train  early  to-morrow.  And 
alone,  I  regret  to  add." 

This  stung,  but  I  held  myself  in  control. 

"  I  had  hopes  that  the  lady  would  leave  with 
me,"  he  added.  "  I  would  have  done  very  well  by 
her.  Extravagantly  well.  For  she  is,  I  may  say, 
a  person  of  unusual  charm.  But  now,  of  course, 
that  you  are  openly  paying  her  bills,  I  leave  the  field 
to  you." 

I  kept  my  hands  close  at  my  sides,  and  stood 
straight  there  before  him. 

"  I  gave  you  some  advice  the  other  day,  my 
boy,"  he  continued.  "  Bear  it  in  mind.  The 
woman  is  helpless.  I  confess  I  don't  see  what 
on  earth  she  can  do.  For  she  is  a  highly  im- 
practical little  thing.  She  has  very  little  idea  of 
the  value  of  money.  I  offered  more  than  I  had 
any  business  to  —  offered  to  send  her  back  to  Eu- 
rope and  help  her  along  with  her  studies.  It 
seemed  the  only  way  to  reach  her,  don't  you  know 
—  the  line  of  her  ambition,  and  therefore  her 
weakest  point.  I  used  all  the  familiar  arguments. 
And  God  knows  most  of  them  are  true  enough  — 
that  private  morality  is  of  no  consequence  in  an 
operatic  career,  that  a  woman  need  conform  to  sub- 
urban standards  only  if  she  is  seeking  a  suburban 

185 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

success.  I  pointed  out  notorious  episodes  in  the 
lives  of  great  women  performers  whom  we  all  ad- 
mire, women  of  unquestioned  position.  But  do 
you  know,  my  boy,  not  one  of  these  arguments 
appeared  to  reach  her  at  all.  She  is  to  me,  I  must 
say,  an  extraordinary  contradiction.  Here  she  is, 
deserted  and  destitute  on  the  China  Coast,  where 
a  woman  can  not  travel  alone  for  a  day  without 
advertising  herself  as  a  marketable  commodity; 
and  yet,  so  far  as  I  can  see,  she  is,  in  a  sense,  a 
good  woman.  Really,  it  was  n't  until  I  pointed 
out  the  wreckage  she  was  making  of  your  life,  and 
the  service  she  could  do  you  by  accepting  my  money 
and  getting  away  from  you,  that  she  would  so  much 
as  listen  to  me  — " 

He  looked  up  at  me,  and  his  voice  trailed  off  into 
silence. 

But  I  did  nothing,  except  to  say,  in  a  voice  that  I 
knew  to  be  my  own  because  he  was  no  longer 
speaking  and  there  was  certainly  no  other  person 
in  the  room  — 

"  So  you  talked  of  me !  " 

He  bowed.  \ 

"  You  are  frank,  Sir  Robert." 

He  waved  his  hand.  "  Why  not  ?  "  Then  he 
went  on.  "  The  most  puzzling  point  in  her  puz- 
zling story  is  that  part  relating  to  the  other  man  — 

186 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  one  that  brought  her  out  here.  She  makes  no 
effort  to  justify  her  actions,  as  we  expect  a  woman 
to  do  when  she  has  gone  wrong  in  the  eyes  of 
men." 

"  Oh  —  so  you  asked  her  about  that?  " 

"  Yes."  He  indulged  in  a  wry,  fleeting  smile. 
"  I  brought  up  everything  —  used  all  my  logic, 
Eckhart.  I  was,  like  you,  a  fool  to  want  her  at 
all  with  that  crazy  husband  so  close  on  her  heels; 
but  I  did  want  her,  and  I  worked  hard  for  a  few 
hours."  He  sighed.  "  Do  you  know,  all  she  has 
to  say  of  the  man  with  whom  she  traveled  from 
New  York  clear  to  Peking,  is  — '  That  was  a  dread- 
ful mistake.  I  was  n't  the  sort  of  woman  he 
thought  me/  And  when  I  spoke  sympathetically 
of  his  cruelty  in  deserting  her,  she  quietly  in- 
formed me  that  he  did  nothing  of  the  kind.  .  .  . 
What  do  you  say  to  that,  my  boy?  She  left 
him! " 

He  was  quite  warmed  up  to  his  story  now.  He 
even  chuckled. 

"  What  do  you  say  to  that,  young  man  ?  This 
exceedingly  attractive  young  person,  very  nearly 
penniless,  quite  unhampered  by  practical  experi- 
ence, turns  the  man  off,  refuses  his  money,  and 
starts  out  to  face  life  —  in  Peking  —  alone  and 
without  so  much  as  a  plan  of  action!  It  is  pitiful, 

187 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

of  course.  It  is  tragic.  But  it  does  stir  the  fancy. 
Now,  doesn't  it?" 

"  I  don't  know,"  I  said  slowly,  "  why  I  don't 
beat  you  to  death." 

His  face,  I  thought,  grew  even  whiter.  But  his 
eyes  met  mine. 

"  I  know  why,"  he  replied  deliberately.  "  Be- 
cause a  gentleman  does  not  commonly  enter  the 
room  of  another  gentleman  for  any  such  unman- 
nerly purpose." 

I  bowed  a  sort  of  assent  to  this.  He  really  had 
me  there. 

"  Besides,  Eckhart,"  he  added,  "  while  you  have 
a  perfect  right  to  call  me  a  fool,  you  certainly 
can't  say  that,  as  life  runs,  my  attitude  has  been 
unnatural.  The  woman  deliberately  broke  with 
life.  As  a  result  of  her  own  acts,  she  is  now  out- 
side the  pale  of  decent  society." 

"  Outside  —  where  we  men  are,"  said  I,  very 
sad  and  bitter. 

He  sniffed,  rather  contemptuously.  He  thought 
my  observation  too  obvious. 

I  added,  as  I  turned  toward  the  door  — 

"  And  at  that,  after  your  own  tribute  to  the  es- 
sential fineness  of  her  character,  your  notion  of 
'  decent  society '  sounds  highly  technical  to  me, 
Sir  Robert.  Good-by  to  you.  You  will  forgive 

188 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

me  for  saying  that  I  shall  be  very  glad  when  you 
are  gone." 

He  did  not  reply.  But  as  I  laid  my  hand  on  the 
knob  of  the  door,  I  caught  a  low  exclamation  be- 
hind me  that  seemed  to  have  both  pain  and  surprise 
in  it. 

I  looked  back.  He  had  sunk  down  in  his  chair. 
One  side  of  his  face,  the  left  side,  had  twitched 
upward  so  that  there  was  a  distinct  slant  to  his 
mouth  and  an  observably  deep,  curving  line  extend- 
ing from  the  left  lower  corner  of  his  nose. 

"  Are  you  ill?  "  I  asked,  after  a  moment. 

He  slowly  shook  his  head.  "  Something 
snapped,  I  thought,"  he  replied,  rather  huskily. 
"  But  I  am  all  here,  evidently." 

"  I  shall  be  glad  to  call  a  doctor." 

"  Thank  you  —  it  is  quite  unnecessary.  If  you 
will  be  so  good  as  to  have  the  manager  send  me 
a  competent  body  servant,  it  will  be  sufficient." 

"  But  you  may  need  medical  attention." 

"  Then  it  will  not  be  difficult  to  reach  McKenzie, 
over  at  the  Legation.  I  won't  trouble  you  further 
—  beyond  that  matter  of  the  servant." 

I  bowed  and  went  out,  closing  his  door  behind 
me. 

I  stood  there  for  a  moment  in  the  hall.  It 
seemed  a  very  long  time  since  I  had  seen  Heloise 
189 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

or  heard  from  her.  And  now,  thanks  to  that  old 
man,  I  had  a  new  set  of  mental  pictures  to  touch 
my  spirit,  and  stir  me,  and  rouse  feelings  so  subtle, 
so  haunting,  so  poignant,  that  I  could  hardly  bear 
them.  Yet,  I  thought,  these  are  my  new  mental 
companions,  these  thoughts  and  feelings  and  partly 
distinct,  partly  elusive,  mind  pictures,  and  it  is 
with  them  I  have  got  to  live  for  the  rest  of  my 
life. 

I  listened.  She  was  in  there,  surely,  behind 
that  closed  door.  The  transom  was  closed,  too. 
I  could  hear  no  sound. 

I  decided  then  to  make  her  speak  to  me.  And 
it  seemed  to  me  that  now  I  could  give  without 
asking. 

My  hopes  for  myself  were  running  as  high  as 
that  —  to  give  without  asking,  and  to  reassure  her 
poor  tortured  spirit  by  so  appearing  and  acting 
that  she  would  know,  through  her  fine  intuition, 
that  I  had  risen  to  this  point. 

I  ran  downstairs  and  told  the  manager  of  Sir 
Robert's  request.  I  also  suggested  that  in  my 
judgment  medical  care  was  indicated.  He  looked 
puzzled,  and  a  thought  worried,  that  little  French 
manager;  as  if  unable  to  determine  whether  I  had 
killed  Sir  Robert  or  had  suddenly  become  his 
friend. 

190 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Then  I  came  back  upstairs  and  entered  my  own 
room.  I  turned  on  the  light. 

I  stepped  softly  to  the  shrunken  door,  and  lis- 
tened. For  a  moment  I  thought  I  heard  nothing; 
then  my  heart  gave  a  leap,  for  her  bed  began 
creaking  as  if  she  were  tossing  restlessly  upon  it. 

She  was  in  her  room.  However  desperate,  how- 
ever tortured  of  spirit,  she  was  there! 

She  made  a  sound  —  a  sort  of  moan. 

I  tapped  on  the  door. 

She  was  silent. 

I  opened  the  door  an  inch.  Her  room  was  dark. 
Without  looking  in,  I  placed  my  mouth  close  to 
the  opening,  and  said  — 

"Oh  — Heloise!" 

That  was  all.  I  had  thought  to  conceal  my  own 
emotions.  I  had  thought  to  speak  gently,  kindly 
—  in  a  way  that  would  make  her  feel  me  there  as 
a  steady,  helpful  friend.  But  my  voice  suddenly 
choked.  And  all  I  could  say  was,  "  Oh  — 
Heloise!" 

She  did  not  reply. 

I  waited  there.  I  felt  that  I  must  not  intrude. 
I  could  not  think  just  what  would  be  best  to  do. 

Then  she  tossed  again,  restlessly.  And  she 
moaned,  with  a  sort  of  muffled  shudder  in  her  voice, 
as  if  she  had  set  her  teeth  and  was  fighting  with 

191 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

all  her  waning  strength  to  keep  from  making  a 
sound. 

I  could  n't  stand  it.  I  opened  the  door.  The 
light  from  my  room  fell  across  her  bed  and  showed 
her  there,  her  lovely  arms  outside  the  coverlet,  her 
dark  hair,  in  a  thick,  long  braid,  lying  on  the  pil- 
low and  across  her  shoulder. 

Still  she  did  not  speak.  I  entered  (thinking  viv- 
idly of  that  first  time  that  I  had  ventured  unasked 
into  this  dingy  little  room  that  was  the  only  place 
in  the  world  she  could  call,  even  momentarily,  her 
own).  I  went  straight  to  the  bed.  I  took  one  un- 
resisting hand  in  mine,  and  gazed  down  at  her 
during  the  moment  that  my  eyes  were  accustoming 
themselves  to  this  dimmer  light. 

She  rolled  her  head  weakly  around  on  the  pil- 
low, and  looked  up  at  me. 

Then  I  saw  that  she  was  very  white.  Her  eyes 
were  shining  at  me  out  of  great,  dark  circles. 
There  were  marks  of  pain,  of  physical  suffering, 
on  her  dear  face,  such  as  I  had  never  before  seen 
there.  Hitherto  she  had  merely  been  sad. 

I  sank  down,  sitting  on  the  edge  of  the  bed.  I 
could  not  say  anything.  I  stroked  her  wrists.  I 
gently  smoothed  her  forehead  and  temples  and 
cheeks.  Her  skin  was  cool,  almost  cold,  to  the 
touch. 

192 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Her  great  eyes  sought  mine.  Weak  and  ill  as 
she  was,  I  knew  that  she  was  looking  into  my  soul, 
and  studying  it,  perhaps  wondering  about  it. 

At  least,  now,  there  would  be  no  more  evasion 
between  us.  I  felt  that.  Whatever  she  might  say 
to  me,  when  she  should  feel  able  to  talk,  would 
come  directly  from  the  most  sacred  depths  of  her 
consciousness.  We  had  never  been  so  close. 
Even  at  that  sad  moment,  the  thought  thrilled 
me. 

I  had  to  turn  away. 

Then  I  saw  that  her  bureau,  over  which  she  and 
I  had  once  expended,  ages  ago,  an  absurd  amount 
of  energy,  had  been  moved,  and  stood  squarely 
across  the  hall  door. 

Now,  why  had  she  done  that? 

I  was  still  stroking  her  forehead  and  temples, 
trying  to  control  the  fever  that  was  in  my  veins, 
trying  to  think  clearly. 

I  looked  again  at  her. 

She  made  an  effort  to  smile  at  me.  There  was 
infinite  sadness  in  that  effort. 

Suddenly  she  turned  toward  me,  on  her  side, 
hiding  her  face  from  me,  pillowing  it  on  my  hands, 
which  she  held  close,  if  weakly,  with  her  own 
cold  hands.  And  again  that  low,  pitiful  sound 
escaped  her  lips. 

193 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  I  wanted  to  die,"  she  breathed.  "  I  wanted  to 
die !  Why  did  n't  you  let  me  die !  " 

My  heart  stood  still. 

I  turned  her  face  to  mine,  and  bent  low  over  her. 

"  What  have  you  done?  "  I  asked  her. 

She  shook  her  head,  almost  convulsively,  and 
tried  to  hide  her  face  again. 

"  What  have  you  done  ?  "  I  asked. 

I  looked  more  closely  at  the  bureau,  dreading 
what  I  might  see  upon  it.  But  there  were  only 
the  familiar  little  toilet  accessories  that  I  had  seen 
there  before.  My  eyes  searched  about  among 
them,  while  I  sat  there  on  the  bed,  while  she  con- 
tinued to  press  my  hands,  with  her  own  cold  ones, 
against  her  face. 

Then  I  looked  down.  On  the  floor,  almost  at 
my  feet,  was  a  glass  with  a  little  water  in  it.  Near 
by  was  a  small  brown  medicine  bottle,  with  beaded 
edges.  The  cork  was  out.  A  little  cotton  lay  by 
it. 

I  picked  up  the  bottle,  and  turned  it  over. 

It  was  labeled : 

"  Poison."     And   beneath   this,    "  Morphia,    ^ 

gf." 

"  Heloise !  "  I  cried.  I  made  her  look  at  me. 
"  Heloise,  child !  You  don't  mean  —  you 
haven't—" 

194 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Her  head  moved  between  my  hands ;  and  I  knew 
she  was  trying  to  nod  an  affirmation.  Then  she 
struggled  again  to  turn  her  face  from  me,  but  so 
weakly  that  I  held  it  there  without  much  difficulty. 
I  fear  I  was  employing  more  strength  than  I  real- 
ized. 

"  How  much  did  you  take?  "  I  said.  "  Tell  me 
—  quickly." 

"  I  don't  know,"  she  whispered.  "  The  bottle 
was  full.  I  took  them  all." 

"  That  is  impossible,"  I  argued,  foolishly. 
"  Two  grains  would  have  killed  you.  One  grain, 
even." 

"  I  took  them  all,"  she  repeated.  "  I  wanted 
so  to  die.  I  thought  for  a  while  that  I  was  dying. 
Then  I  became  dreadfully  ill.  I  have  been  so  ill, 
Anthony !  " 

All  at  once  a  note  of  relief  had  come  into  her 
voice  —  as  if  it  meant  something  to  her,  after  all, 
to  have  me  there  with  her,  and  to  be  able  to  talk 
with  me. 

I  felt  that.  But  it  was  not  the  time  to  think  of 
myself. 

I  stood  up.  But  she  clung  to  one  of  my  hands, 
and  I  had  to  bend  a  little.  I  was  trying  to  think  — 
What  do  they  give  for  morphine  poisoning? 
What  are  the  antidotes?  .  .  .  Stimulants,  surely. 

195 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  had  some  strychnine  in  my  little  medicine- 
chest.  I  gently  withdrew  my  hand,  and  went  into 
my  room  to  look  for  it. 

I  felt  uncertain  about  this  treatment,  for  I 
am  no  physician.  But  it  might  be  that  there 
was  no  time  to  lose.  She  was  weak,  and  ex- 
tremely nervous.  The  coldness  of  her  hands  led 
me  to  believe  that  at  some  moment  after  she 
took  the  drug  her  heart  action  must  have  all  but 
stopped. 

Standing  there,  in  my  disordered  room  —  for 
my  steamer  trunk  was  open,  my  clothes  still  lay 
in  rumpled  heaps  on  the  bed,  the  cluttered  bureau 
drawers  stood  about  on  chairs. and  on  the  table  — 
I  made  up  my  mind  to  give  her  the  strychnine.  I 
did  not  realize  then  that  there  were  physicians  to 
be  had.  I  felt  only  our  remoteness  from  the  con- 
veniences of  civilized  life,  here  in  this  little  hotel  in 
the  Tartar  City. 

It  would  doubtless  have  been  better  to  adminis- 
ter the  stimulant  by  the  hypodermic  syringe.  But 
I  had  none.  So  I  refilled  her  glass  with  water, 
gave  her  two  of  my  strychnine  pills,  and  raised  her 
head  while  she  sipped  the  water. 

I  do  not  recall  now  whether  or  not  she  resisted 
this  treatment.  I  think  she  did,  a  little.  But  she 
was  so  completely  exhausted,  in  body  and  spirit, 

196 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

by  all  she  had  gone  through,  that  she  really  could 
do  nothing  but  follow  my  instructions. 

Then  I  rang  for  a  boy  —  from  my  own  room. 
It  was  getting  pretty  late  in  the  evening;  but  I 
made  him  fetch  me  a  large  pot  of  black  coffee. 

I  lifted  her,  and  slipped  the  two  pillows  behind 
her  that  I  had  brought  in  from  my  own  bed,  and 
made  her  as  nearly  comfortable  as  I  could.  When 
the  coffee  came  I  poured  out  three  cups  of  it,  one 
after  another,  and  stood  over  her  while  she  drank 
them.  She  protested,  every  moment,  but  I  paid  no 
attention  to  her  words,  just  held  the  cup  to  her 
lips  until  it  was  empty  and  then  refilled  it 
twice. 

This  done,  I  put  the  tray  in  my  own  room,  and 
did  what  little  I  could  to  make  her  room  more 
attractive  to  the  eye.  I  moved  the  bureau  from 
the  hall  door  to  its  place  against  the  side  wall,  the 
place  it  had  occupied  ever  since  she  and  I  had 
moved  it  for  the  last  time  away  from  the  door  that 
connected  our  rooms.  I  even  straightened  out  the 
various  articles  on  the  bureau. 

And  all  this  time  I  felt  her  great,  weary  eyes 
following  me  about  the  room.  She  was  distinctly 
relieved,  I  thought,  at  the  sharp  way  in  which  I  had 
taken  command  of  her  life.  Poor  child,  she  had 
tried  hard  enough  to  end  that  life.  She  had  passed 

197 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

through  the  valley,  of  the  shadow.  And  now, 
cheated  yet  relieved,  she  leaned  on  me. 

Since  that  hour  my  mind  has  dwelt  on  the  hor- 
rors she  must  have  lived  through  that  day.  (She 
did  not  finally  take  the  morphia  until  sometime 
after  five  in  the  afternoon.)  She  says  nothing 
about  the  day;  and  of  course  I  ask  no  questions. 
But  she  was  there  in  her  room  through  the  noon 
hours  and  all  the  afternoon.  And  when  I  asked  her 
if  she  slept  at  all  the  preceding  night  —  the  night 
that  I  sat  up,  without  even  undressing  —  she  said 
no.  .  .  .  But  I  think  it  is  better  for  me  not  to 
dwell  on  this. 

I  walked  over  to  the  window  to  let  the  night  air 
in  on  her,  and  perhaps  also  to  think. 

Suddenly  I  recalled  that  there  was  a  telephone 
downstairs.  How  stupid  of  me  not  to  have 
thought  of  it  before! 

And  Sir  Robert  had  spoken  of  a  physician  at 
the  British  Legation.  I  should  have  remembered 
that !  But  on  second  thought,  I  could  not  bear  to 
think  of  calling  in  Sir  Robert's  man. 

However,  medical  advice  of  some  sort  I  must 
have.  I  knew  nothing  of  the  action  of  morphia 
on  the  system.  She  might  be  sinking  at  this  mo- 
ment. 

I  stepped  back  to  the  bedside  and  stood  over  her. 
198 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

She  did  not  look  worse  to  me.  It  might  have 
been  only  the  temporary  effect  of  the  strychnine 
and  coffee,  but  there  certainly  appeared  to  be  a 
hint  of  color  in  her  cheeks. 

"  I  am  going  downstairs  to  telephone  for  a  doc- 
tor," I  said,  taking  her  hand.  Her  fingers  twined 
weakly  around  mine,  and  clung  a  little.  "  Will 
you  lie  quietly  here  until  I  come  back  ?  " 

"  I  don't  want  a  doctor,"  she  breathed.  "  I  'm 
much  better." 

I  paid  no  attention  to  this.  "And  will  you 
promise  me  never  to  —  not  to" — my  voice  was 
unsteady  — "  not  to  take  any  more  of  that  dreadful 
stuff?" 

"  I  could  n't,"  she  replied,  in  that  maddeningly 
unsatisfactory  way  of  answering  serious  questions 
that  women  appear  to  have.  "  There  is  n't  any 
more." 

I  think  I  compressed  my  lips  over  this.  But 
I  went  right  downstairs. 

The  manager  was  in  his  little  den  behind  the 
hotel  office.  I  beckoned  him  out,  and  asked  about 
physicians. 

His  eyes  sought  my  face.  But  I  told  him  noth- 
ing. 

With  his  assistance  —  for  the  telephone  service 
of  Peking  is  not  that  of  New  York  or  Chicago  — 

199 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  called  up  an  English  medical  mission  that  was 
not  far  from  the  hotel. 

The  head  physician  had  gone  to  bed.  At  first 
they  refused  to  disturb  him.  But  I  insisted. 

It  was  half  an  hour  before  he  arrived.  I  drew 
a  chair  to  Heloise's  bedside,  talking  with  her  and 
rubbing  her  head  and  her  forearms  while  we 
waited. 

She  gave  every  evidence  of  rather  rapid  improve- 
ment. She  was  weak,  of  course;  and  so  nervous 
that  her  body  would  twitch  for  no  reason,  and  the 
slightest  unexpected  sound  would  give  her  a  start. 
But  the  pupils  of  her  eyes,  that  had  been  very 
small,  were  widening  out  to  something  like  their 
normal  size.  And  behind  the  gaze  that  she  kept 
turning  to  me  and  the  occasional  faint  suggestion 
about  her  mouth  of  a  gentle  but  sad  and  enigmatic 
smile,  I  felt,  even  then,  that  she  was  doing  some 
sober  thinking. 

After  a  time  she  said : 

"  I  have  clung  to  one  thought  to-day.  My  life 
has  been  all  a  blunder.  But  it  has  helped  a  little 
to  know  that  you  have  your  scales,  Anthony  — 
and  that  you  would  n't  have  them  except  for 
me." 

I  went  limp  at  this.  For  it  had  made  me  feel 
sound  and  strong  to  be  caring  for  her,  and  now 
200 


her  words  plunged  me  back  into  the  depths  of 
that  dreadful  day.  I  dropped  my  chin  on  my 
hands. 

"  Anthony !  "  said  she.     "  What  is  it  ?  " 

I  could  only  shake  my  head. 

"  But  you  have  the  scales,  Anthony?  " 

I  shook  my  head  again. 

She  came  up  on  her  elbow  —  all  weak  and  shak- 
ing. She  had  on  that  gray  silk  kimono  that  I  love 
—  the  one  with  the  wistaria  blossoms  embroidered 
on  it.  I  felt  her  eyes  searching  my  thoughts,  and 
I  could  only  look  at  the  soft  gray  blossoms  on  her 
sleeve  and  study  out  the  pattern. 

"  Anthony,"  she  was  saying,  with  something  of 
that  musical  "edge"  in  her  voice — "Anthony, 
what  have  you  done?  " 

I  told  her.  I  even  moved  my  chair  aside  and 
let  her  gaze  past  me  and  through  the  open  doorway 
into  my  room,  where  she  could  see  bits  of  the 
broken  cylinders  scattered  about  the  floor. 

Was  I  pleading  the  cause  of  my  love  for  her,  of 
my  —  yes — -of  my  desire  for  her,  in  thus  giving 
way  to  the  unexpected  impulse  to  have  her  see  those 
broken  cylinders  with  her  own  eyes?  God  pity 
me,  I  do  not  know!  All  I  am  sure  of  is  that  I 
suddenly  wanted  her  to  know  all  about  those  mis- 
erable, weak  hours  of  mine.  And  a  strange,  trem- 
20 1 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

ulous  hope  was  fluttering  to  life  in  my  heart.  It 
was  possible  that  we  should  again  work  together, 
she  and  I ! 

This  hope  fluttered  and  grew.  I  felt  my  heart 
beat  more  quickly,  and  a  touch  of  that  odd  dry- 
ness  in  the  throat  that  comes  to  me  when  Heloise 
and  I  are  close,  when  I  touch  her  hand  or  her 
sleeve  and  know  at  the  same  moment  that  she  is 
thinking  of  me  and  that  her  feelings  are  in  some 
mysterious  way  interwoven  with  mine. 

I  recall  that  I  moved  forward  on  my  chair.  I 
moved  still  farther,  and  sat  on  the  edge  of  the 
bed.  I  slipped  my  arm  behind  her  head.  I  drew 
her  lovely,  dark  head  against  my  breast.  I  bent 
over  and  kissed  her  fragrant  hair  and  rubbed  my 
cheek  against  it. 

I  was  stroking  her  hair  and  her  soft  cheek.  I 
bent  lower  and  kissed  her  forehead.  Then  I  kissed 
her  cheek. 

I  could  not  help  it.  I  did  not  know  I  was  go- 
ing to  do  it.  I  know  now  that  she  had  stopped 
resisting  before  this.  She  let  me  kiss  her. 

Slowly  this  fact  made  itself  felt  in  my  mind  and 
in  my  heart.  She  had  let  me  kiss  her,  but  she 
had  been' unable  to  respond.  And  I  remembered 
what  she  had  said,  hours  or  years  ago,  and  the  poig- 
nant sadness  of  it  — 

202 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  Something  has  died  in  me.  I  don't  believe  I 
can  ever  love  a  man  again." 

I  lowered  her  head  against  the  pile  of  pillows.  I 
held  the  thick  braid  of  her  hair  for  a  moment,  then 
let  it  fall  over  her  shoulder.  I  looked  into  her 
eyes,  hoping  against  hope  that  I  might  find  a  re- 
sponsive light  there. 

Then  I  sank  back  on  my  chair,  and  covered  my 
face  with  my  hands. 

She  reached  out  and  laid  her  hand  on  my  arm. 

For  a  little  time  we  sat  that  way.  I  could  not 
look  at  her.  I  could  not  say  anything.  I  was  glad 
of  the  gentle  touch  of  her  hand. 

It  was  she  who  broke  the  silence. 

"Oh,  Anthony,"  she  breathed.  "If  I  only 
could!" 

Then  we  were  still  again. 

But  this  would  not  do.  I  was  all  egotism  —  I, 
who  had  so  wished  to  help  her. 

Finally  I  looked  up,  and  took  her  hand  in  mine 
and  stroked  it.  I  even  smiled  at  her.  At  least, 
it  seemed  to  me  that  I  smiled. 

It  was  one  of  those  moments  that  come,  in  our 
times  of  greatest  bewilderment,  when  for  a  space 
we  see  clearly.  I  suddenly  felt  that  I  could  think 
again. 

"  I  don't  know  what  is  to  become  of  us,  Heloise 
203 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

dear,"  I  said.  "  You  have  been  close  to  the  end 
of  your  life.  But  I  think  that  you  will  have  to  let 
me  help  you.  For  I  know  now  that  I  shall  not 
want  to  live  unless  I  can  help  you.  And  I  shall  not 
leave  you  alone  in  Peking.  I  think  you  will  have 
to  bear  with  me,  at  least  until  I  can  know  that  you 
have  got  back  into  the  current  of  your  life  and 
work." 

She  compressed  her  lips,  and  her  dear  eyes  glis- 
tened. Then  I  felt  her  fingers  tighten  around 
mine. 

"  Anthony,"  she  said,  low  and  uncertain,  "  I 
would  do  anything.  I  would  love  you  if  I  could. 
I  would  go  to  you  without  love  if  I  thought  I  could 
make  you  happy,  or  even  help  you.  You  gave  me 
hope  by  helping  me  to  work.  Now,  in  spite  of 
the  dreadful  facts  of  my  life  that  I  know  so  well  to 
be  true,  you  are  stirring  me  to  hope  again.  But  all 
the  time  I  know  that  the  dreadful  facts  are  there, 
that  they  will  be  there  when  this  hope  is  faded." 

"  I  think,"  said  I,  "  that  we  can  triumph  over 
those  dreadful  facts." 

"  Oh,  Anthony,"  she  murmured,  "  if  you  only 
knew  how  dreadful  they  are.  I  wondered  before 
whether  I  ought  to  tell  you.  I  lay  awake  here 
night  after  night,  trying  to  think  it  out  —  whether 
I  ought  to  tell  you.  And  then  even  worse  news 
204 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

came.  It  was  too  much  for  me.  I  gave  up,  An- 
thony. It  seemed  to  me,  only  a  few  hours  ago, 
that  the  kindest  thing  I  could  do  —  the  kindest 
thing  I  could  do  to  you,  dear  —  would  be  to  leave 
this  world.  I  brought  only  trouble  into  it.  I 
thought  it  would  be  best  to  leave  it." 

She  paused.  She  looked  past  me,  toward  the 
window.  Her  brows  were  knit.  She  was  very 
sober.  And  her  reticence,  that  I  had  always  felt, 
was  gone.  She  continued: 

"  And  now  I  've  made  a  failure  even  of  that. 
And  here  I  am  again,  disturbing  your  life,  a  bur- 
den—" 

I  leaned  forward  and  took  her  other  hand  and 
looked  at  her.  She  faltered.  She  stopped.  I 
held  her  two  hands  firmly.  For  a  moment  I  con- 
sidered telling  her  that  I  knew  her  story.  Then 
I  knew  that  I  could  n't  tell  her.  To-morrow,  per- 
haps ;  but  not  now.  This  hour  was  hers  and  mine. 
Crocker  had  no  place  in  it.  I  would  not  so  much 
as  have  his  name  spoken.  Further  than  this,  my 
mind,  that  had  failed  me  so  miserably  of  late,  was 
working  again ;  and  a  plan  was  forming  there. 

I  could  not  yet  see  all  the  way.  But  from  mo- 
ment to  moment  I  could  feel  my  habitual  confi- 
dence in  my  mental  processes  coming  back  to  me. 
I  was  beginning  to  believe,  as  I  always  used  to 
205 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

believe,  that  I  should  prove  equal  to  the  situation 
as  it  might  develop.  And  the  first  thought  of  re- 
nunciation was  coming  to  me  like  a  clear  light. 

It  is  obvious,  of  course  (even  in  this  tense  mo- 
ment the  fact  became  reasonably  clear  to  me)  that 
where  personal  desire  is  the  major  premise,  logic 
is  impossible. 

It  was  time  I  came  in  some  degree  to  my  senses. 

She  must  have  seen  something  of  all  this  in  my 
face,  when  I  bent  forward  and  took  her  two  hands 
so  firmly  and  looked  into  her  eyes. 

"  Heloise  dear,"  I  said,  "  you  are  not  going  to 
die.  You  are  going  to  live.  For  the  present  you 
are  going  to  let  me  help  you  start  at  rebuilding 
your  life.  You  will  do  this  because  I  love  you, 
and  because  it  is  unthinkable  that  I  should  not 
help  you.  One  way  or  the  other  " —  I  repeated 
this  phrase  with  a  peculiar  emphasis  that,  I  could 
see,  puzzled  her  — "  one  way  or  the  other  I  am  go- 
ing to  help  you.  It  may  be  that  I  can  never  stir 
you  to  love  me.  I  shall  do  this  if  I  can,  Heloise; 
but  it  may  be  that  I  shall  not  succeed.  I  am  glad 
that  I  have  " —  my  voice  broke  here,  so  confusing 
is  love  — "  have  kissed  you,  but  I  shall  not  kiss 
you  again.  Not  again,  dear.  We  shall  work  this 
out,  however.  You  and  I,  one  way  or  the  other, 
we  shall  work  it  out." 

206 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  But  Anthony,"  said  she.  "  You  must  let  me 
tell  you !  It  is  —  I  am  not  free  —  there  is  — " 

"  You  shall  not  tell  me  to-night,"  I  said  to  her. 
"  You  shall  tell  me  nothing.  I  will  not  permit  it. 
I  will  not  listen.  Free  or  bound,  however  dreadful 
the  facts  may  seem  —  these  things  are  nothing. 
Nothing! "  My  voice  rose  a  little,  I  fear,  at  this 
point.  "  They  can  not  possibly  concern  us  now, 
you  and  me.  For  one  way  or  the  other — " 

"  But,  dear,  you  don't  understand  —  you  don't 
know!" 

"  I  know  enough,"  said  I.  "  I  know  all  that 
need  concern  me  and  the  woman  I  love  more  than 
my  life,  more  than  my  work,  more  than  everything 
else  in  the  world  and  the  sky." 

She  seemed  almost  to  shudder  at  this. 

"  Anthony !  Please,  dear !  "  She  was  whisper- 
ing these  broken  sentences.  "  This  is  all  wrong ! 
Please!" 

Her  voice  trailed  off.  I  was  still  bending  for- 
ward, all  eager  and  flushed  with  the  great  thoughts 
that  were  stirring  within  me.  Her  eyes  seemed 
almost  to  cling  to  mine.  She  stirred  a  little,  but 
did  not  turn  away.  Her  hands  were  still  in  mine. 

It  seemed  to  me  that  I  ought  to  surrender  her 
hands  and  sit  back  in  my  chair. 

Her  eyes  were  glistening  wet,  the  outlines  of  her 
207 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

mouth  softened  from  the  sadness  that  had  been 
there.  It  almost  seemed  to  me  that  she  was  draw- 
ing me  forward  with  her  hands. 

Certainly  something  —  some  quality  of  the 
spirit,  perhaps,  was  drawing  me  nearer  and  nearer 
to  her.  I  knew  that  my  head  was  bending  closer. 
I  thought  of  resisting,  but  I  did  not  resist. 

My  lips  met  hers. 

Her  hands  slipped  out  of  mine,  and  slowly  — 
oh,  so  slowly !  —  slid  up  on  my  shoulders. 

Then  her  arms  were  about  me,  and  my  arms 
were  about  her;  and  our  hearts  were  beating  to- 
gether, very  fast. 

"  Listen !  "  she  whispered,  all  breathless,  turn- 
ing her  head. 

Some  one  was  knocking  at  my  door. 

I  stood  up,  irresolute.  I  was  bewildered.  She 
looked  wan  and  weak,  lying  back  there  against 
the  pillows.  I  was  choking  back  the  sobs  that 
nearly  came. 

"  Oh,  Heloise,"  I  managed  to  say.  "  I  meant 
not  to.  Forgive  me,  dear !  " 

But  she  was  not  looking  at  me.  "  See  who  it  is," 
was  all  she  said. 

So  I  went  through  to  my  own  room,  closing  the 
connecting  door  behind  me.     I  hurriedly  brushed 
my  hair,  then  opened  the  door. 
208 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

It  was  the  physician  from  the  English  mission. 
He  was  a  young  man,  who  looked  at  me  coolly 
and  with  some  curiosity. 

I  told  him  what  had  happened. 

He  weighed  the  morphine  bottle  in  his  hand,  and 
pursed  his  lips  over  it. 

"  She  must  have  taken  between  ten  and  twenty 
grains  of  the  stuff,"  said  he,  musingly. 

"  That,  of  course,  is  incredible,"  said  I. 

He  shook  his  head  and  replied  in  a  casual  tone 
for  which  I  hated  him. 

"  Oh,  no.  An  overdose  will  act  that  way  with 
some  people.  The  system  simply  refuses  to  as- 
similate it  or  even  retain  it." 

I  reported  to  him  what  I  had  done.  He  then 
went  in  and  looked  at  Heloise  and  asked  a  few 
questions. 

Occasionally  his  eyes  flitted  about  the  shabby 
room.  Then  he  would  dart  little  glances  at  her 
and  at  me. 

He  was  a  depressing  person,  this  young  physi- 
cian. It  was  clear  enough  the  impression  he  got 
of  us. 

Heloise  felt  it  keenly.  I  saw  that  little  droop 
of  sadness  coming  about  her  mouth. 

Then  he  told  me  that  I  had  done  about  every- 
thing he  could  have  done,  that  she  would  be  all 
209 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

right  in  a  day  or  so,  and  that  she  had  had  a  rather 
lucky  escape. 

He  left  a  little  medicine,  and  went  away.  We 
both  felt  that  he  did  not  care  to  have  us  call  him 
again;  and  we  each  knew  that  the  other  felt  this, 
though  we  did  not  put  it  in  words. 

Finally  I  said,  after  I  had  sat  by  her  for  a  time 
in  moody  silence  — 

"  It  is  very  late,  dear.  I  rather  think  you  will 
sleep  to-night,  in  spite  of  the  coffee  and  all." 

"Yes,"  she  said,  "I  think  I  will.  And  you, 
Anthony  " —  she  caught  my  hand  — "  I  don't  like 
to  see  you  look  so  tired." 

"  I  shall  sleep,"  I  replied.  Then  I  kissed  her 
forehead,  and  went  into  my  own  room,  leaving 
the  door  ajar  in  order  that  I  might  hear  if  she 
called. 

We  did  sleep,  both  of  us.  At  least,  she  says 
she  did.  And  she  looked  rested  this  morning, 
when  I  took  the  breakfast  tray  from  the  waiter 
and  carried  it  to  her.  She  was  up,  and  dressed. 

I  have  realized  since  that  I  did  not  succeed  at 
all  in  my  efforts  to  hide  the  serious  mood  that  took 
possession  of  me  from  the  moment  I  woke.  She 
caught  it.  Every  now  and  then  she  flashed  an  odd, 
puzzled  glance  at  me. 

Finally,  when  we  had  finished  and  I  had  put  the 
210 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

tray  in  my  room,  she  broached  the  subject  that 
was  uppermost  in  both  our  minds. 

"  Before  we  go  any  farther,  Anthony  dear,  I 
am  going  to  tell  you  — " 

I  stopped  her. 

"  But  Anthony,  you  must  let  me  speak.  You 
are  giving  up  everything  for  me,  and  you  don't 
even  know — " 

"  I  know  all  I  wish  to  know  now,  dear." 

"  But  this  is  very  important.  I  can't  forgive 
myself,  when  I  realize  that  you  don't  know  what  I 
have  done  — " 

I  could  n't  stand  this.  I  simply  took  her  two 
shoulders  in  my  hands  and  made  her  look  squarely 
at  me ;  and  I  spoke  with  a  sudden  uprush  of  feel- 
ing. 

"  Dear,  dear  girl,"  I  said,  "  I  'm  not  interested 
in  what  you  have  done.  I  am  interested  in  what 
you  are." 

"  But  Anthony,  if  I  am  not  worthy  — 

It  hurt  me  to  hear  her  speak  in  this  way.  I  was 
thinking  swiftly,  bitterly,  of  certain  episodes  in 
my  own  life.  I  was  thinking  of  the  men  I  knew, 
and  what  they  had  done.  I  thought  of  Crocker 
and  his  outrageous  code.  I  thought  of  my  own 
latest  episode  of  the  sort  —  with  the  little  girl  at 
"  Number  Nine  " —  and  of  the  queer  masculine 

211 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

twist  in  my  own  thinking  that  had  led  me  to  con- 
sider myself  "  unmanly  "  because  I  had  run  away 
from  that  girl  when  she  wanted  me  to  stay. 

No,  I  could  not  bear  to  have  her  speak  or  even 
think  so  of  herself.  So  I  said,  still  holding  her 
there  before  me : 

"  Men  are  accustomed  to  judge  women,  Heloise. 
You  say  that  I  must  know  what  you  have  done. 
Has  it  occurred  to  you  that  I  ought  to  tell  you  — 
very  humbly,  dear  —  what  /  have  done?" 

She  looked  really  puzzled  at  this. 

"  Why,"  she  said,  "  I  don't  know  —  I  never 
thought.  I  have  always  heard  that  men  were  — 
well,  different." 

"  You  have  heard  that  —  from  men,"  I  replied 
sadly,  and  turned  away. 

She  caught  my  arm.  "  But  apart  from  all  that, 
Anthony,"  she  broke  out,  "  there  is  one  thing  that 
you  must  let  me  say.  You  must!"  She  hesi- 
tated, caught  her  breath,  then  plunged  desper- 
ately along  with  it.  She  was  not  looking  at  me 
now.  Her  color  was  rising;  and  her  voice  low. 

"  I  have  —  a  —  husband  — "  she  said. 

*  Yes."  I  interrupted  her.  "  I  am  going  to 
talk  to  him  now." 

I  went  straight  into  my  own  room  and  got  my 
hat  and  stick. 

212 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

She  followed  me  as  far  as  the  doorway.  I  saw 
her  leaning  there,  all  limp  and  white. 

"  You  knew !  "  she  was  murmuring,  as  if  to  her- 
self. "  You  knew! " 

"  I  don't  believe  I  shall  need  my  overcoat,"  said 
I,  glancing  out  at  the  sunlight  on  the  roofs.  God 
knows  why  I  said  just  that  at  such  a  moment.  I 
added  — 

"  Wait  here,  Heloise.  It  will  be  all  right.  But 
the  time  has  come  to  stop  drifting.  We  are  going 
to  stop  drifting  now,  you  and  I  —  and  he.  Good- 
by,  dear,  for  now." 

I  knew  I  must  hurry.  I  simply  could  not  talk 
this  out  with  her  now.  I  felt  that  I  could  not  en- 
dure it.  I  doubted  if  she  could.  Besides  it  would 
get  us  nowhere  so  long  as  the  question  of  Crocker 
himself  should  be  left  unsettled  to  menace  our  two 
lives. 

I  opened  the  door. 

She  came  on  into  the  room,  reaching  her  hands 
out  toward  me.  She  seemed  actually  weak,  trem- 
bling. 

"  Oh  —  Anthony !  "  she  breathed,  staring  at  me 
with  something  that  was  almost  fascination  in 
her  eyes,  as  if  she  were  now  seeing  me  for  the 
first  time. 

I  could  not  trust  myself  at  all.  I  hurried  out, 
213 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

closing   the   door   behind   me.     I   ran   down   the 
stairs. 

It  was  the  thought  of  the  telephone  that  had 
come  to  me  with  such  force  on  the  preceding  even- 
ing. I  knew  now  that  it  was  not  necessary  to 
keep  up  this  terrible  waiting  for  him.  It  would  be 
easy  enough  to  call  him  up ;  then  I  could  go  to  him 
and  still  feel  that  I  was  not  leaving  Heloise  at  the 
mercy  of  a  chance  visit  from  him  while  I  was  away. 

It  took  a  long  time  for  them  to  get  him  to  the 
telephone,  over  there  at  the  Wagon-lits  —  fifteen 
or  twenty  minutes,  I  should  say. 

Finally  I  heard  his  voice. 

"  How  are  you,  Eckhart?  "  he  said,  in  the  easy, 
offhand  way  that  men  employ  one  with  another. 
"  How  have  you  been  ?  " 

I  thanked  God,  under  my  breath,  that  he  was  in 
condition  to  talk.  I  simply  could  not  have  endured 
further  delay. 

"  I  've  been  all  right,"  said  I.  "  I  want  to  see 
you,  Crocker,  in  regard  to  a  very  important  mat- 
ter." 

"  Surely.     Any  time  you  say." 

"  Suppose  I  come  right  over  there  to  the  Wagon- 
lits." 

"  All  right.  I  '11  wait  for  you  in  my  room. 
Good-by." 

214 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  Good-by,  Crocker." 

Then  I  went  out  into  the  little  Chinese  street, 
and  once  again  headed  toward  the  big  hotel  in  the 
Legation  Quarter. 


215 


April  14,  (continued). 

CROCKER  opened  his  door  at  my  knock. 
He  was  half  dressed,  with  a  quilted  gown 
drawn  about  his  big  frame. 

He  gripped  my  hand.  I  permitted  this,  which 
was  perhaps  an  odd  thing  to  do ;  but  it  came  about 
so  easily  and  swiftly  that  I  could  not  think  how  to 
prevent  it  without  appearing  merely  childish. 

Then  I  went  on  into  the  room,  and  stood,  with 
some  sense  of  inner  tension,  while  he  drew  an 
easy  chair  to  the  table  and  with  a  paper  cutter 
pried  open  a  box  of  cigars. 

He  has  changed,  even  in  the  fortnight  since 
our  parting  in  the  railway  station  at  Yokohama. 
He  is  putting  on  weight  pretty  rapidly,  and  his 
face  distinctly  exhibits  the  ravages  of  drink.  It 
was  pale  this  morning.  His  eyeballs  were  criss- 
crossed with  red  veins,  and  there  was  an  incipi- 
ent puffiness  under  them.  His  hands  were  un- 
steady, too;  I  noted  that  fact  when  he  opened  the 
cigars.  And  afterward,  when  he  dropped  on  the 
sofa  and  settled  back  against  the  cushions,  he 
extended  his  right  hand  as  I  had  seen  him  do 
216 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

once  or  twice  before,  back  at  Yokohama,  and 
make  an  unsuccessful  effort  to  hold  it  still. 
Then  he  let  it  fall  across  his  knee,  and  for  a 
moment  stared  gloomily  at  the  carpet. 

I  observed,  too,  that  he  was  more  nervous. 
He  moved  with  a  jerky  abruptness.  And  when 
he  glanced  up  at  me,  it  was  suddenly,  with  a  per- 
ceptible start,  as  if  I  had  spoken  sharply,  though 
in  reality  I  had  not  spoken  at  all.  It  made  me 
think  of  the  torturing  confusion  of  moods  that 
was  racking  his  nervous  system,  and  of  the  merci- 
less voices  of  unrest  that  were  so  evidently  whis- 
pering every  moment  at  his  inner  ear.  A  few 
days  ago  I  would  not  have  observed  his  condition 
with  any  sympathetic  understanding;  but  now 
that  I,  too,  have  been  torn  between  the  exaltation 
of  love  and  the  degradation  of  jealousy,  I  can 
only  shake  my  head  in  a  sad  sort  of  wonder  at 
the  mysterious  strength  of  these  forces  that  drive 
men  and  women  together,  and  apart,  and  that 
linger  even  after  a  mismating  and  a  subsequent 
separation  to  stir  and  bewilder  the  spirit.  .  .  . 
Yes,  I  can,  in  a  way,  feel  with  Crocker  now.  To 
live  with  memories  of  magical  hours  passed  with 
a  woman  one  has  since  lost  —  elusive,  poignant 
memories,  that  come  in  the  still  hours  of  night  to 
triumph  over  the  brutal  facts  of  the  day  that  is 
217 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

gone  and  the  day  that  is  to  come  —  this  is  the 
stuff  of  tragedy. 

My  feelings  soared  far,  as  I  sat  there  —  all  in 
a  moment.  I  was  thinking  of  strong  passions 
and  of  elemental  things.  It  came  to  me,  oddly, 
that  I  had  never  really  understood  certain  of  the 
great  poems  and  the  greater  music  dramas.  I  told 
myself  that  I  must  seize  the  first  opportunity  to 
hear  "  Tristan "  again.  I  would  understand  it 
now.  Yes,  surely  .  .  .  there  was  the  surging, 
heartbreaking  climax  of  the  "  Liebestod,"  for  ex- 
ample —  it  was  surging  in  my  feelings  now,  and 
in  my  brain.  I  could  hear  the  swelling  of  the 
violins.  And  I  knew  all  at  once  that  it  was  not 
the  mere  heartbreak  of  Isolde  and  her  Tristan 
that  surged  and  swelled  with  them,  I  knew  that 
it  was  the  universal  story  of  man  and  woman 
everywhere.  Underneath  the  trivial  vulgarity  of 
the  daily  newspaper,  with  its  commonplace  recital 
of  petty  dramas  and  pettier  tragedies,  I  suddenly 
knew,  surge  and  swell  the  hopes  and  dreams  and 
casual  disasters  of  a  million  Tristans  and  a  mil- 
lion Isoldes.  It  is  men  like  Crocker  and  myself, 
I  thought,  and  women  like  Heloise,  who  enact,  all 
unconsciously,  tossed  helplessly  about  on  great  bil- 
lows of  feeling,  the  heroic  drama  of  life. 

It  was  the  inner  man  that  dwelt  on  these  stir- 
218 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

ring  things.  The  outer  me  was  declining  a  cigar, 
and  taking  the  easy  chair,  and  for  a  moment  let- 
ting my  eyes  wander  about  the  room.  It  was  go- 
ing to  be  pretty  difficult  to  broach  the  subject.  I 
could  see  that.  Yet  it  had  somehow  to  be  done. 

There  was  a  bottle  half  full  of  whisky  on  the 
table,  and  glasses.  Evidently  the  embargo  had 
been  raised.  I  could  not  help  staring  at  that  bot- 
tle for  a  moment.  And,  though  he  did  not  raise 
his  eyes,  I  felt  that  Crocker  knew  what  was  in 
my  thoughts. 

His  suit-case,  with  the  cover  thrown  back,  rested 
on  a  chair  by  the  wall.  The  contents  were  rum- 
pled about;  but  among  them,  right  on  top,  I  saw 
a  knife-handle  of  Japanese  lacquer  and  silver 
projecting  from  a  lacquered  sheath  with  a  sil- 
ver tip. 

He  caught  me  looking  at  it,  sprang  up  —  with 
an  abruptness  that  made  me  jump  —  and  slammed 
down  the  cover  of  the  suit-case. 

Then  he  came  back  to  the  sofa  with  a  short 
laugh  that  was  plainly  designed  to  cover  inner 
embarrassment,  and  poured  out  a  good  three  fin- 
gers of  the  whisky.  He  drank  it  neat. 

"  Have  some  ?  "  he  said. 

I  shook  my  head. 

"  It  settles  my  stomach,"  he  continued,  with  an 
219 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

air   of    apology.     "  I    have  n't   been   at   all   well 
lately." 

I  watched  him  while  he  poured  out  another, 
and  tossed  it  down. 

He  lighted  a  cigar. 

"  Where  you  stopping?  "  he  asked.  "  Have  n't 
seen  you  around  here,  have  I  ?  " 

I  shook  my  head. 

"  There  's  another  hotel  here,  then  ?  "  said  he. 
And  his  eyes  narrowed  craftily. 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  replied,  "  two  or  three." 

Then  I  hesitated.  But  after  all,  why  evade  the 
man?  I  had  come  to  his  room  with  precisely  the 
opposite  intent.  So,  with  a  nervous  abruptness 
not  unlike  his  own,  I  gave  him  the  name  of  my  ho- 
tel—  and  Heloise's.  And  at  the  same  time  I 
watched  him  closely  to  see  if  it  conveyed  anything 
to  him. 

Plainly  it  did  n't.  He  merely  blew  out  a  long 
spear  of  smoke,  followed  it  for  a  moment  with 
his  eyes,  and  then  glanced  down  at  the  cigar  that 
he  was  turning  slowly  round  and  round  between 
his  fingers. 

But  he  could  not  sit  quietly  for  any  length  of 
time.     He  got  up  again,  with  that  same  jerky  ab-. 
ruptness,    and,    muttering   something   about   the 
220 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

room  being  close,  strode  to  the  window  and  threw 
it  open. 

He  knew  that  he  was  acting  rather  uncivilly,  for 
he  turned  to  me  then  and  said,  with  a  fairly  good 
imitation  of  a  casual  manner  —  "Mind  a  little 
air?" 

"  Not  at  all,"  I  replied.  It  was  depressing  to 
be  talking  thus  about  nothing,  knowing  so  well 
what  was  in  his  heart  and  what  was  in  mine. 
But  I  only  mumbled  the  stereotyped  phrase,  "  Not 
at  all." 

He  took  another  drink  —  neat  again.  Then 
he  drummed  on  the  table  with  the  fingers  of  one 
hand. 

If  there  is  one  thing  above  another  that  I  abom- 
inate, it  is  that  kind  of  idle  drumming.  He  made 
it  worse  by  whistling  softly  between  his  teeth  a 
crude  song  of  the  streets.  I  knew  that  I  must 
keep  myself  in  hand,  but  could  not  help  fidgeting 
a  little  in  my  chair. 

Nervously  self-centered  as  he  was,  my  discom- 
fort quite  escaped  him,  of  course.  What  stopped 
his  whistling  and  drumming  appeared  to  be  a  sud- 
den thought  that  came  to  him  with  the  tune. 

He  looked  down  at  me.  His  eyes  narrowed 
again.  He  opened  his  mouth,  then  abruptly 

221 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

closed  it  on  the  words  that  were  so  close  to  utter- 
ance. 

When  he  did  speak,  I  felt  certain  that  his 
question  was  not  the  one  he  had  meant  at  first 
to  ask. 

"  How  's  the  phonograph  business  ?  "  he  said, 
and  tried  to  smile. 

"  It 's  all  right,"  I  replied  shortly. 

He  sat  down  on  the  edge  of  the  sofa,  elbows 
on  knees,  and  smoked  fast. 

"What  sort  of  place  is  that  hotel  of  yours?" 
he  inquired,  after  a  little. 

"  Middling.     Not  so  good  as  this." 

"Nearby?" 

"  Not  far." 

"  I  suppose  any  rickshawman  would  know  the 
way,"  he  mused. 

He  fell  silent  again.  Then,  finally,  he  put  the 
question  that  was  on  his  mind,  not  looking  at  me, 
trying  to  speak  casually;  but  his  voice  was  not 
quite  steady,  and  I  could  see  the  cigar  shake  in 
his  hand:  — 

"  Have  you  happened  to  see  a  woman  over  there 
—  young,  good  looking,  rather  slender,  blue  eyes  ? 
Could  n't  say  what  name  she  'd  be  using." 

In  a  flash  I  knew  that  this  was  my  opening. 
And  on  a  great  wave  of  relief  —  for  we  had  to 
222 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

come  to  the  issue  —  I  leaned  back  in  my  chair  and 
said, 

"  There  is  such  a  woman  there.  She  is  using 
the  name  of  Crocker."  Then  I  watched  him. 

I  have  never  seen  a  man's  face  go  so  blank. 
His  jaw  dropped  —  literally.  And  his  eyes  were 
wide. 

I  found  myself  returning  his  gaze,  and  nodding 
rather  emphatically.  I  kept  on  nodding. 

Then  I  said,  holding  his  eyes  with  mine  — 

"  See  here,  Crocker,  I  know  all  about  that. 
You  told  me  yourself.  Have  you  forgotten  ?  " 

Slowly  the  recollection  came  to  him.  "  Oh, 
yes,"  he  replied,  "  at  Yokohama." 

"  And  you  told  Sir  Robert  at  Nagasaki.  Have 
you  forgotten  that?" 

This  seemed  to  sting  him.  "  How  do  you  know 
I  did?  "  he  asked  sharply. 

"  He  told  me.  We  talked  you  over.  I  asked 
him  about  the  legal  possibility  of  placing  you  un- 
der some  sort  of  restraint." 

Curiously,  this  did  n't  anger  him.  He  merely 
looked  puzzled.  I  wonder  if  I  am  doomed  to  re- 
main ineffectual  to  the  last  —  an  odd,  scientific  lit- 
tle person,  to  be  humored  by  the  practical  men 
of  this  rough-and-ready  world,  even  in  their  least 
practical  moments. 

223 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  I  don't  get  you,  Eckhart,"  said  he.  "  What 
have  you  to  do  with  my  affairs?" 

"  At  this  moment  —  everything,"  I  answered 
him,  feeling  suddenly  very  sad. 

Sad,  because  it  came  to  me  that  you  can  not  talk 
intelligently  with  another  human  being  without  a 
common  language.  And  this,  I  knew  all  at  once, 
Crocker  and  I  did  not  have.  I  had  thought  of 
many  things  that  I  should  say  to  him;  now  I  had 
lost  confidence  in  all  of  them,  for  I  realized  that 
the  word  which  means  one  thought  to  me  would 
mean  another  and  different  thought  to  him. 
Each  of  us  would  have  to  interpret  words  and 
phrases  in  the  light  of  his  own  mental  images. 
And  the  mental  images  of  each  were  outgrowths 
of  his  individual  philosophy  of  life. 

Yes,  my  arguments,  that  had,  on  the  way  over, 
seemed  so  potent,  would  not  do  now.  In  order 
to  reach  that  mind  of  his,  I  must  think  in  his  terms 
and  not  in  my  own.  And  I  tried,  desperately,  to 
piece  together  something  like  his  code,  as  I  sat 
there.  .  .  .  That  man  is  a  free  and  dominant 
creature,  half  god,  half  beast;  that  a  small,  shel- 
tered section  of  womankind  is  of  superior,  almost 
divine  stuff,  designed  to  comfort  and  elevate 
man  on  his  god  side,  to  bear  his  children  and, 
under  his  own  general  government,  "  keep  his 
224 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

house,"  while  the  other  and  greater  section  of  this 
same  womankind  is  mysteriously  of  poorer  stuff, 
and  is  worthy  only  to  do  his  rougher  work  at  such 
a  wage  as  can  be  wrung  from  him  or  (in  a  piti- 
fully matter-of-fact  way)  to  cater  to  the  vices  of 
his  beast  side  —  something  like  this  was  surely 
Crocker's  sort  of  philosophy. 

I  tried  to  bring  myself  to  realize  what  this 
meant.  Holding  so  curious  a  faith,  it  was  surely 
natural  enough  that  he  should  have  tried  to  force 
poor  Heloise's  life  into  his  own  hard  mold  of 
thought  and  habit.  Nor  is  it  unnatural  that  he 
should  have  been  outraged  when  this  lovely  pos- 
session turned  in  despair  from  the  atmosphere  of 
suppression  and  inactivity  in  which  he  had  been  so 
determined  to  keep  her  and  tried,  blunderingly,  all 
wrong,  to  find  an  outlet  for  the  fine  spirit  stirring 
in  the  depths  of  her  being. 

For  this  was  rebellion.  And  Crocker,  I  can 
see,  hates  rebellion.  His  sort  always  do.  He 
is  profoundly  a  conventional  man,  even  in  his 
vices. 

I  thought  all  this  in  a  swift  moment,  as  I  sat 
there,  wondering,  wondering,  how  I  could  say 
the  things  that  must  somehow  be  said. 

Crocker  waited  as  long  as  he  could  for  me  to 
go  on,  keeping  himself  busy  with  his  cigar.  Once 
225 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  thought  I  detected  a  furtive  expression  on  his 
face,  as  if  he  dreaded  what  was  to  come. 

The  man  was  conscious  of  his  own  inner  weak- 
ness, of  course.  He  must  have  been.  Perhaps 
he  remembered  telling  me  of  his  solemn  resolution 
to  give  up  liquor.  Even  as  this  thought  occurred 
to  me,  he  reached  out  and  again  tipped  that  con- 
venient bottle.  It  seemed  to  me  that  there  was  an 
extra  set  to  his  chin  as  he  did  this,  a  slightly  over- 
emphasized casualness  that  bordered  on  bravado. 

Then  he  sprang  to  his  feet  and  moved  about 
the  room  behind  me. 

As  for  myself,  I  was  cool  enough.  And,  once 
I  could  hit  on  the  proper  beginning  to  the  talk,  I 
felt  pretty  sure  that  I  could  handle  the  situation. 
It  is  evident  to  me  now  that  the  plan  I  arrived 
at  last  night,  there  in  Heloise's  room,  had  cleared 
the  air  for  me.  For  I  knew  —  deep,  deep  in  my 
heart  I  knew  —  that  I  stood  ready  to  give  Heloise 
up.  There  is  selfishness  enough  in  me,  God 
knows.  There  will  be  moments  of  weakness,  when 
the  touch  of  her  hand,  the  blue  of  her  eyes  or  the 
shadow  of  her  long  lashes  on  her  skin  —  perhaps 
even  the  mention  of  her  name  by  some  common 
acquaintance  —  will  stir  that  strange  magic  that 
has,  in  such  different  ways,  torn  Crocker's  heart 
and  mine.  But  I  believe  I  shall  never  again  for- 

226 


He  reached  out  and  tipped  that  convenient  bottle 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

get  that  the  woman  I  love,  has  a  life  to  build,  and 
that  the  finest  duty  I  have  is  to  help  her  build  it. 

I  heard  a  rustling  behind  me.  I  turned. 
Crocker  had  thrown  aside  his  lounging  robe,  and 
was  getting  into  his  street  clothes.  While  I  sat 
there  watching  him,  he  put  on  his  waistcoat  and 
coat.  He  put  on  his  hat,  pushing  it  back  on  his 
head.  Then  he  busied  himself  transferring  his 
pocketbook,  a  handful  of  small  change,  some 
papers  and  a  key  ring  from  the  pockets  of  another 
suit  that  hung  from  a  hook  on  the  closet  door. 

I  got  right  up  and  stood  there,  by  the  table. 

"  Tell  you  what,  old  man,"  said  he,  rather  apol- 
ogetically. "  I  'm  all  out  of  sorts.  Guess  I  need 
the  outside  air.  You  don't  mind,  do  you  ?  " 

'  Yes,"  I  replied,  with  a  ring  in  my  voice  that 
was  surprising  even  to  myself.  "  I  do  mind. 
I  've  got  something  to  say  to  you." 

"  Don't  talk  about  that,"  said  he,  and  walked 
to  the  open  window,  with  his  hands  thrust  deep 
into  his  pockets. 

"  But  I  will  talk  about  it,  Crocker.  It  is  what 
I  came  here  to  talk  about.  And  I  propose  to  make 
you  talk  about  it,  also." 

He  offered  no  reply;  just  stood  there,  staring 
out  the  window.  I  went  on.  I  don't  know  now 
where  the  words  were  coming  from  that  rushed 
229 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

so  unexpectedly  to  my  lips;  but  I  knew,  as  I  ut- 
tered them,  that  before  either  of  us  should  leave 
that  room  he  would  be  taking  me  seriously. 

"  There  is  a  woman  over  yonder,  in  the  Hotel 
de  Chine,"  I  said.  "  From  your  own  confession 
to  me,  you  have  followed  her  here  to  kill  her. 
There  is  nobody  but  me  to  talk  to  you,  but  you 
are  not  going  to  dispose  of  me  so  easily.  This 
thing  is  going  to  be  settled.  It  is  going  to  be  set- 
tled to-day  —  and  without  any  killing.  We  are 
not  living  in  that  sort  of  an  age,  Crocker.  Not 
quite." 

"  What  do  you  mean  —  settled  ?  "  he  muttered, 
without  turning. 

"  Settled.  Just  that.  And  there  won't  be  any 
murder.  You  and  I  are  going  to  arrange  terms 
of  separation  between  Heloise  and  yourself. 
Then  you  are  going  home.  You  will  leave  this 
city  before  night.  You  may  go  either  way  — 
Tientsin  or  Hankow;  it  is  the  same  to  me.  But 
you  've  got  to  go.  .  .  .  Will  you  please  sit  down 
here  and  try  to  discuss  this  thing  like  a  rational 
man?" 

Now  he  did  turn. 

"  I  suppose  you  think  you  can  talk  to  me  like 
this,"  he  said,  with  something  of  a  sneer. 

"I  think  just  that,"  I  replied.  "Sit  down, 
230 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

please.  We  shall  see  if  I  can  drive  a  little  sense 
into  that  fuddled  mind  of  yours." 

I  stood  there  waiting.  He  did  not  move,  ex- 
cept, it  seemed  to  me,  to  square  his  shoulders. 
And  there  was  the  same  set  to  his  chin  that  I  had 
noted  a  few  moments  earlier,  when  he  was  drink- 
ing. 

"  I  'm  standing  a  good  deal  from  you,  Eckhart," 
he  said.  "  But  after  all,  I  've  got  nothing  against 
you.  You  can't  be  expected  to  understand  these 
things."  This  evidently  struck  him  as  a  happy 
idea,  and  he  repeated  it :  "  You  can't  be  ex- 
pected to  understand  these  things." 

Suddenly  he  frowned.  "  How  'd  you  know  her 
name  was  Heloise  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  How  did  I  know?  "  I  repeated.  "  I  will  tell 
you  how.  I  will  tell  you  much  that  you  yourself 
do  not  understand."  My  voice  was  rising.  I 
had  to  struggle  to  control  myself.  But  I  knew 
that  I  must,  for  it  was  not  myself  I  was  righting 
for  now.  "  We  will  not  waste  words,  you  and  I. 
We  are  past  that,  Crocker  —  far  past  it,  if  you 
only  knew.  I  have  seen  " —  the  words  "  your 
wife "  had  come  to  my  tongue,  but  I  could  not 
say  them;  it  was  a  profanation  even  to  think  of 
that  fine  woman  as  "  his  " — "  I  have  seen  Heloise. 
I  have  come  to  know  her.  I  have  seen  how  sad 
231 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

she  is,  and  what  a  struggle  she  has  been  making 
to  begin  doing  something  with  her  life.  For  she 
has  been  alone,  Crocker — " 

"Alone?" 

"  Yes.  She  did  not  stay  with  that  other  man. 
She  could  not.  And  she  has  been  struggling  all 
alone."  I  fought  back  the  emotion  that  was 
breaking  into  my  voice.  "  I  know  you  both  now, 
Crocker  —  pretty  well.  And  knowing  you  both, 
I  can  see,  oh,  so  clearly,  that  she  could  never,  never 
be  happy  with  a  man  like  you.  She  has  ability, 
she  has  spirit,  she  has  what  they  call  tempera- 
ment. She  is  an  artist.  And  do  you  not  know, 
man,  that  the  artist  must  always  be  struggling  to- 
ward expression,  that  his  whole  life  is  nothing 
but  that  struggling  ?  You  can  not  make  a  domestic 
drudge  of  such  a  woman.  Of  some  women  — 
yes.  But  not  of  the  artist.  You  tried  to  do 
just  that.  You  chose  the  woman  who  was  beau- 
tiful to  your  eyes,  and  whose  spirit  made  her 
most  desirable,  and  then  you  tried  to  crush  that 
spirit.  I  have  no  doubt  she  tried  to  submit,  that 
she  fought  her  own  finest  qualities,  for  years,  in 
the  hopeless  effort  to  make  of  herself  what  you 
demanded.  And  then  she  broke  —  all  helpless, 
all  dependent  on  you  as  she  was  —  and  risked  ev- 
erything to  get  away  from  you  because  it 
232 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

was  worse  than  death  to  her  to  be  with  you.  And 
now  you  hound  her  around  the  world  like  the  sav- 
age beast  that  you  are.  .  .  .  Good  God,  man,  can't 
you  see  that  she  was  right  in  leaving  you !  Can't 
you  see  that  it  was  the  finest,  bravest  thing  she 
could  have  done !  " 

I  stood,  strung  up,  all  blazing  with  the  fire  that 
was  in  me.  I  knew  I  had  broken  bounds.  I 
thought  that  now,  surely,  he  would  turn  on  me 
and  fight  me ;  and  I  did  not  care.  I  even  thought 
wildly  of  settling  it  all  with  him  then  and  there, 
with  blows,  as  men  do.  For  I  had  the  fire  and 
the  will  within  me;  while  he,  with  all  his  height 
and  strength  and  native  vigor,  was  palsied  with 
that  poison  that  eats  away  a  man's  will  and  leaves 
but  a  shell  of  bluster. 

But  instead  of  anger  on  his  face,  as  I  stared 
into  it,  I  saw  only  bewilderment.  He  seemed  to 
be  groping  after  the  ends  of  a  new  concept,  with 
a  mind  that  had  lost  something  of  its  power  to 
grasp  new  concepts. 

"  Good  Lord,"  he  said  then,  "  you  're  talking1 
as  if  you  were  in  love  with  her  yourself." 

I  nodded  at  him,  breathless  and  deeply  solemn. 
"  I  am,"  I  said.  "  I  love  Heloise,  and  I  shall  love 
her  with  all  my  heart  until  I  die." 

Perhaps  I  was  guilty  of  a  tactical  blunder  in 
233 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

giving  him  this  information.  He  was  so  evidently 
not  himself  that  he  should  have  been  handled  with 
tact  and  not  further  confused.  As  it  stood,  I 
had  laid  the  train  of  a  profounder  confusion  than 
I  could  possibly  have  foreseen.  But  I  had  to 
say  it. 

He  was  still  groping  to  comprehend  this  amaz- 
ing thought. 

"  I  don't  get  you,"  he  said.  He  was  not  look- 
ing at  me  now,  and  seemed  to  be  talking  more  to 
himself  than  to  me.  "  You  have  n't  known  her 
—  it 's  only  a  few  days  — " 

"  It  is  nearly  two  weeks." 

"  But  you  don't  mean  " —  he  fell  to  walking 
about  the  room,  and  I  followed  him  with  my  eyes 
— "  you  don't  mean  to  say  — " 

He  stopped  short,  and  pondered.  Then  he 
turned  toward  me;  and  it  seemed  to  me  he  ap- 
peared more  like  his  normal  self  than  at  any  time 
since  I  had  entered  the  room. 

"  So  you  're  talking  for  yourself,"  he  observed, 
coldly. 

"  No,"  I  replied,  "  I  am  not." 

"  But  you  tell  me  you  love  her  — " 

"  That  does  not  stand  in  the  way  of  my  doing 
precisely  what  I  insist  that  you  shall  do  —  give 
her  up." 

234 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  That 's  easy  to  say,  Eckhart." 

"  It  is  not  easy  to  do,  Crocker.  But  Heloise 
must  go  to  Europe,  and  take  up  her  study.  Her 
gifts,  her  hopes,  all  lead  her  straight  toward  op- 
era. Neither  you  nor  I  has  the  right  to  stop  her. 
It  is  the  instinct  for  expression,  nothing  else. 
You  have  followed  that  instinct  freely  in  your  own 
life  and  work.  I  have  followed  it  freely  in  mine. 
Now  let  her  do  the  same.  Work  —  the  sort  of 
work  that  will  give  scope  to  his  own  peculiar  sort 
of  energy  —  is  what  every  human  being  needs. 
It  is,  above  all,  what  Heloise  needs.  It  will  be  her 
salvation,  if  anything  will.  Can't  you  get  that 
into  your  head  ?  She  does  n't  need  any  applica- 
tion of  the  punitive  frenzy  that  we  men  call  justice. 
She  does  n't  need  the  easy  moralizing  of  men  like 
you  —  and  me.  She  needs  work!  ...  As  re- 
gards my  giving  her  up  —  she  goes  to  Paris ;  I 
stay  here  in  China  for  at  least  two  years.  If  you 
can  think  of  any  way  in  which  I  can  put  more 
miles  than  that  between  us,  tell  me,  and  I  '11 
promptly  give  up  my  own  plans  and  do  it."  And 
I  snapped  my  finger. 

Some  of  my  phrases  were  over  his  head,  I  sup- 
pose. But  he  came  back  at  me  with  a  good  deal 
of  vigor,  ignoring  my  intense  mood :  — 

"  You  tell  me  you  love  her,"  he  said;  "  and  you 
235 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

talk  about  giving  her  up.  You  don't  mean  to  say 
that  you  think  she  is  in  love  with  you  ?  " 

This  sobered  me  —  suddenly.  I  felt  my  eyes 
drop,  and  the  hot  color  coming  back  into  my 
face. 

The  talk  was  turning  on  me  in  a  way  I  had  not 
precisely  foreseen.  But  after  all  —  it  was  only 
fair.  Certainly  I  had  shown  no  hesitation  at  ex- 
posing his  hurt  places.  So  I  raised  my  eyes  and 
looked  squarely  at  him,  knowing  that,  though  it 
would  be  torture,  I  should  tell  him  the  truth  as  I 
had  been  coming  to  see  it  during  these  morning 
hours. 

I  shook  my  head. 

"  I  should  hope  not !  "  he  muttered. 

I  paid  no  heed  to  him.  The  thing  now  was  to 
get  the  truth  out  and  have  it  over  with. 

"  There  have  been  one  or  two  moments  when  I 
dared  think  she  was  beginning  to  love  me,"  I 
went  on.  "  But  I  was  reasoning  from  my  hopes. 
She  was  alone.  She  was  destitute  —  desperate. 
There  was  no  one  she  could  turn  to,  except  my- 
self. She  knew  that  I  had  come  to  love  her. 
And  hurt  and  crushed  as  she  was  —  with  all  the 
gratitude  that  the  biggest  heart  I  have  ever  known 
could —  But  what  is  the  good  of  this!  What 
fault  there  has  been,  is  mine.  She  is  a  buoyant, 
236 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

vital  thing,  an  artist,  all  spirit  and  fire.  Even  in 
her  suffering  I  can  see  that.  There  have  been 
glimpses,  when  we  were  working  and  she  could 
forget  for  a  moment.  I  am  a  quiet  man,  a  man 
of  the  study,  a  narrow  man." 

"  Yes,  you  are  narrow,"  he  put  in. 

"  She  must  have  variety.  She  must  have  stir- 
ring moments,  strong  reactions.  She  could  not 
possibly  be  happy  with  me.  And  as  for  you, 
Crocker  —  well,  we  know  about  that.  You  are 
quite  impossible.  You  thought  you  could  possess 
her.  Finding  that  you  couldn't,  you  would  kill 
her." 

He  winced.  I  was  glad  to  see  it.  I  must  make 
him  wince.  I  must  show  him  that  he  was  not 
only  a  brute,  but  an  absurd  one. 

He  went  over  to  the  bureau  and  rummaged 
nervously  in  the  top  drawer.  I  could  see,  in  the 
mirror,  that  his  face  was  working,  in  the  way  it 
has  when  he  is  deeply  stirred.  Then,  after  a  mo- 
ment of  hesitation,  he  came  back  to  the  table,  and 
with  a  fair  assumption  of  an  offhand  manner 
reached  for  the  whisky  bottle. 

I  snatched  it  away  from  him,  sprang  to  the 
window,  and  threw  it  out,  hard.  I  heard  it  break 
on  the  pavement  below. 

Then  I  turned  and  faced  him,  wondering,  with 
237 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

a  swift  uprush  of  excitement,  what  he  would  do. 
I  had  taken  him  quite  by  surprise,  which  was  a 
point  for  me.  His  great  strength  had  not  en- 
abled him  to  keep  that  bottle. 

His  first  expression  was  a  sort  of  hurt  bewilder- 
ment. He  took  a  step  toward  me,  but  without  any 
particular  evidence  of  anger  —  more  as  if  he 
meant  to  protest. 

Next  he  turned,  slowly  and  heavily,  in  the  direc- 
tion of  the  bell.  This  was  over  by  the  hall  door. 
I  ran  toward  it.  A  chair  stood  in  the  way,  and 
I  remember  throwing  it  over  in  my  rush.  I  had 
my  back  against  the  bell  before  he  had  got  to  the 
middle  of  the  room. 

He  just  stood  there,  trying  to  think.  Then,  ab- 
ruptly, he  turned  back,  dropped  on  the  sofa,  and 
buried  his  face  in  his  hands. 

I  came  across  the  room,  as  far  as  the  table,  and 
stood  over  him  until  he  lifted  his  head.  He  was 
evidently  fighting  to  keep  from  going  to  pieces. 
And  his  pride  was  not  yet  wholly  gone,  for  he 
said  — 

"  See  here,  Eckhart,  I  'm  not  feeling  well  at  all. 
Just  let  me  ring  for  a  drink,  and  I  '11  talk  with  you. 
I  will.  I  '11  talk.  This  thing  has  driven  me  wild. 
But  you  're  right  enough,  I  suppose.  Just  push 
the  bell,  will  you?  The  thing  has  got  to  be  set- 
238 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

tied.  We  '11  settle  it,  you  and  I.  If  you  think 
there  's  really  any  show  for  her,  on  her  own,  I  '11 
be  reasonable.  It 's  been  the  thought  of  that  fel- 
low —  of  other  men  —  Oh,  God !  "  His  face 
dropped  again  on  his  hands. 

It  was  at  this  point  that  I  began  to  feel  dis- 
couraged over  the  prospect  of  arriving  at  any 
real  settlement  of  the  business.  The  man  could 
not  be  counted  on  to  remain  in  the  same  state  of 
mind  for  two  consecutive  hours.  I  told  him,  in 
good  round  language,  that  he  could  not  have  an- 
other drop  of  whisky;  and  he  exhibited  self-re- 
spect enough  (for  the  moment)  to  stop  his  whin- 
ing. 

Then  for  a  little  while  I  just  sat  on  the  edge  of 
the  table  and  looked  at  him.  This  was  Heloise's 
husband.  My  spirit  revolted  at  the  thought.  Her 
husband!  The  crude  law  under  which  we  live 
actually  gives  such  a  man  "  rights  "  over  that  fine 
woman.  It  was  unthinkable.  And  it  was  so. 

"  Come  out  with  it,"  I  heard  him  saying. 
"  What 's  your  proposition  ?  " 

I  had  to  think  quickly.  For  this,  after  all,  was 
the  opportunity  I  had  been  so  desperately  seeking. 
I  must  talk  straight. 

"  You  are  to  let  her  have  a  divorce.  If  I  know 
her  at  all,  she  will  not  accept  alimony  — " 

239 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  Stuff !  "  said  he.  "  Did  you  ever  see  anybody 
that  wouldn't  take  money!" 

They  were  as  far  apart  as  that,  those  two.  I 
pushed  right  on  — "  but  she  will  have  to  accept 
something.  A  lump  sum,  say,  on  the  ground 
that  you  have  held  back  her  training  and  limited 
her  immediate  earning  capacity.  I  think,  if  that 
point  is  made  very  clear  to  her,  she  will  be  reason- 
able about  accepting  enough  to  carry  her  through 
her  two  or  three  years  of  study  and  the  getting  up 
of  a  repertoire.  I  would  not  ask  her  to  agree  to 
more  than  that.  Not  from  you." 

There,  that  was  plain  talk  enough,  surely,  even 
for  Crocker! 

He  took  it  pretty  calmly.  In  fact,  I  am  not 
sure  that  it  wasn't  something  of  a  relief  to  his 
hard  head  to  get  down  to  what  he  would  call 
"  brass  tacks  " —  meaning  money,  and  the  traffic 
in  money. 

"  That 's  your  proposition?  "  he  said. 

"  That 's  my  proposition." 

"  And  when  do  you  want  an  answer?  " 

I  must  admit  that  he  surprised  me  here. 
"  Why,"  I  replied,  "  now.  On  the  spot." 

He  shook  his  head. 

"  No,"  said  he.  "  You  are  asking  me  to  agree 
to  a  plan  that  would  change  my  whole  life." 

240 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  For  the  better !  "  I  interrupted  eagerly. 

"  Perhaps,"  said  he.  "  Do  you  think  I  have 
traveled  from  New  York  to  Peking  for  the  pur- 
pose of  changing  my  mind  in  one  minute,  because 
you  ask  me  to?  " 

He  had  stiffened  up,  as  he  sat  there,  and  was 
talking,  all  of  a  sudden,  quite  like  a  responsible 
business  man.  Whether  this  change  was  merely 
a  momentary  outcropping  of  self-respect,  or 
whether  there  was  man  enough  in  him  to  bring 
that  drink-fuddled  brain  so  swiftly  under  control, 
I  could  not  imagine. 

"What  else  can  you  do?"  I  asked,  as  quietly 
and  reasonably  as  I  could  manage.  "  At  this  mo- 
ment you  seem  more  like  your  real  self,  Crocker, 
than  at  any  other  time  since  I  came  in  here  — " 

"  I  'm  myself,  all  right,"  he  broke  in  gruffly. 
"  Never  you  mind  about  that.  Let  me  hear  your 
arguments." 

" — and  you  can't  sit  here,  and  look  me  in  the 
eye,  and  tell  me  that  you  seriously  consider  carry- 
ing out  the  insane  purpose  that  brought  you  here. 
You  can't,  man !  " 

"  Cut  that  talk  out !  "  he  cried  angrily.  "  Stick 
to  your  own  side  of  it." 

"  There  is  no  other  side  of  it,  Crocker.  You  're 
not  going  to  kill  her.  She  '11  never  go  back  to  you. 

241 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Your  only  possible  course  is  to  give  her  up.  And 
my  guess  is  that  you  '11  show  yourself  a  reason- 
ably good  sport." 

This  touched  him.  At  last  I  had  hit  on  a  phrase 
that  he  could  understand,  in  all  this  ugly  talk 
that  I  was  driving  so  desperately  at  him. 

"  Never  mind  that,  either,"  he  growled. 

I  stood  up,  and  looked  at  him.  It  seemed  to  me 
that  I  had  him.  Certainly,  he  was  avoiding  my 
eyes. 

He  jerked  out  his  watch,  and  stared  at  it,  turn- 
ing the  stem  around  and  around  between  his  fin- 
gers. 

"  It 's  eleven-fifteen,"  he  said,  then  slowly  let 
the  watch  drop  back  in  his  pocket. 

He  had  smoked  the  last  of  his  cigar.  Now  he 
lighted  a  fresh  one. 

"  I  '11  give  you  my  answer  at  two,"  he  added. 

For  a  moment  I  did  not  know  what  to  say  to 
this. 

"  What 's  the  matter,"  he  said,  in  that  rough 
voice. 

It  was  such  a  voice,  I  imagined,  as  he  would 
employ  with  business  subordinates.  "  What 's 
the  matter  ?  Is  n't  that  reasonable  ?  You  've 
stated  your  proposition.  I  '11  think  it  over 
and  give  you  my  answer  after  lunch.  If  I 
242 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

accept  it,  I  '11  pack  up  and  leave  Peking  on  the 
first  train." 

Still  I  hesitated.     He  just  sat  and  smoked. 

"  You  know  what 's  the  matter,"  I  replied, 
finally.  I  decided  to  stick  to  my  policy  of  talking 
in  his  own  blunt  way.  "  How  do  I  know  that 
you  will  be  sober  at  two  ?  " 

"  I  '11  be  sober,"  said  he.  He  thought  this  over, 
and  added,  "  After  all,  Eckhart,  I  suppose  you 
have  a  right  to  ask  that  question.  I  '11  admit  that 
I  've  been  making  a  dam'  fool  of  myself.  I  've 
been  drunk  ever  since  I  got  here." 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  I  know  it." 

This  disturbed  him  a  little,  but  he  went  on  — 

"  I  'm  glad  you  threw  that  bottle  out.  It  was 
what  I  needed  to  bring  me  to  my  senses.  I  'm  all 
right  now.  You  '11  see.  Tell  you  what  I  '11  do 
—  I  '11  take  a  cold  bath.  That  always  sets  me  up. 
Then  I  '11  order  up  a  lot  of  coffee  with  my  lunch, 
and  only  a  light  wine."  He  got  up,  and  stood 
over  me.  "  There 's  my  assurance  that  you  '11 
find  me  here,  O.  K.,  at  two.  I  'm  not  a  common 
drunkard,  Eckhart.  You  're  not  a  man  of  the 
world,  and  you  don't  see  these  things  quite  as  they 
are.  I  've  been  stewed,  that 's  all.  I  'm  through. 
Now  for  the  coldest  bath  they  've  got."  He  be- 
gan stripping  off  his  clothing.  "  Come  right  in 

243 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

at  two.  Don't  bother  to  send  your  name  up." 
For  a  moment  I  could  only  look  up  at  him.  I 
must  admit  that  he  was  convincing.  What  he  said 
was  quite  true  —  disordered  as  he  had  been, 
through  passion  and  drink,  he  was  not  yet  a  com- 
mon drunkard.  There  was  yet  stuff  in  the  man. 
Besides  if,  as  I  was  beginning  to  hope,  he  really 
meant  to  accept  my  plan,  the  less  than  three  hours 
he  asked  for  was  a  quite  reasonable  concession  to 
his  pride. 

I  had  to  make  the  decision.     I  did  make  it. 
"  All  right,"  I  said,  "  I  '11  come  at  two." 
He  looked  straight  at  me,  and  held  out  his 
hand. 

"  You  Ve  helped  me,  I  think,"  he  said,  in  a 
very  decent  spirit.  Then  he  glanced  down  at  his 
big  hand,  and  added  — "  Better  take  it,  Eckhart." 
I  took  it.  Then,  stirred  by  doubts  and  hopes 
so  extreme  and  so  confused  that  I  hardly  knew 
what  I  was  thinking,  I  went  out.  The  last  I  saw 
of  him,  then,  he  was  throwing  aside  his  under- 
wear, and  exposing  a  deep  chest,  with  big  mus- 
cles curving  down  over  the  shoulders,  and  smaller 
ridges  of  muscle  in  rows  on  either  side.  And  on 
his  face  was  that  set  look. 

I  ran  up  the  stairs  (at  the  Hotel  de  Chine}  and 
244 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

burst  into  my  own  room.  Then  I  stopped  short, 
and  took  off  my  hat. 

For  there,  by  the  window  —  in  my  room  — 
stood  Heloise.  She  wore  a  simple  but  very  beau- 
tiful frock  of  her  favorite  color,  blue.  It  made 
her  look  taller,  and  slimmer,  and  more  exqui- 
sitely womanly. 

The  room  itself  was  changed.  She  had  picked 
it  up,  and  given  it  what  few  cheerful  touches  she 
could.  On  the  bureau,  in  the  toothbrush  holder 
from  my  washstand,  stood  a  spray  of  white  cherry 
or  pear  blossoms.  I  can't  imagine  where  she  got 
them;  I  did  not  think  to  ask,  when  we  were  to- 
gether, for  we  had  so  much  else  on  our  minds. 

On  the  bureau,  also,  in  a  neat  little  pile,  were  the 
pieces  of  my  ten  broken  cylinders.  She  had  gath- 
ered them  all  and  put  them  there. 

It  was  the  first  time  she  had  ever  tidied  up  my 
room  like  that.  It  touched  me.  I  stood  motion- 
less for  a  moment,  looking  about. 

"  Did  you  see  him  ?  "  she  asked,  very  low. 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  still  looking  about  the  room,  "  I 
saw  him.  It  is  going  to  be  all  right,  Heloise  — 
all  right.  We  are  to  meet  again  at  two."  Then 
I  indicated  the  white  blossoms.  "  You  have  made 
it  seem  almost  like  a  home." 

"  Oh  —  that  ?  "  she  murmured.     "  It  was  hard 

245 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

to  wait.  I  had  to  keep  myself  busy."  She  said 
it  very  gently.  And  it  thrilled  me  to  realize  that, 
whatever  strange  event  might  come  to  her  and  to 
me,  we  had  at  last  arrived  at  a  fine  spirit  of  com- 
panionship. Just  to  think  that  she  could  do  this 
friendly  act,  feeling  in  her  heart  that  I  would  not 
misinterpret  it  or  in  some  crude  masculine  way 
take  the  advantage  —  I  like  that,  even  though  I 
distinctly  do  not  deserve  it. 

But  she  was  speaking,  still  in  that  low  voice, 
but  breathlessly,  I  thought :  — 

"How  will  it  be  'all  right,'  Anthony?  What 
do  you  mean  ?  What  have  you  done  ?  " 

I  felt  that  I  must  be  very  gentle.  But  with  her, 
as  with  that  man  over  yonder  in  the  other  hotel, 
it  was  the  time  for  frank  talk.  For  as  I  had  in- 
sisted with  Crocker,  her  life  was  her  own  to  live; 
and  I  could  not  go  on  now  without  her  approval. 

I  drew  my  one  comfortable  chair  to  the  window 
for  her.  She  took  it.  Then  I  explained  to  her, 
just  as  briefly  as  I  could,  that  Crocker  had  agreed 
to  consider  setting  her  legally  free,  on  condition 
that  she  go  to  Paris  and  work  out  her  career  in- 
dependently of  myself  or  any  other  man. 

She  heard  me  without  a  word,  sitting  there,  her 
hands  folded  in  her  lap.  I  could  not  make  out 
the  expression  of  her  face.  It  was  grave,  of 
246 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

course,  but  composed  —  with  no  sign  of  the  hys- 
teria that  I  had  considered  as  a  possibility.  In- 
deed, I  am  not  certain  but  what  she  was  rather 
calmer  than  I. 

When  I  had  said  it  all,  and  had  paused,  looking 
anxiously  at  her,  she  asked:  — 

"  How  long  have  you  known  about  him  ?  Did 
he  " —  she  indicated  the  room  across  the  hall  with 
a  slight  movement  of  her  head  — "  tell  you  ?  " 

I  explained  to  her  that  I  had  been  with  Crocker 
on  the  ship  and  at  Yokohama,  and  that  he  himself 
had  talked  to  me  of  his  difficulties. 

This  surprised  her,  I  could  see,  but  she  made  no 
comment  regarding  it.  Her  next  question  was 
uttered  with  hesitation :  — 

"  Was  he  —  did  he  seem  — " 

I  caught  her  drift.     "  To-day,  you  mean  ?  " 

She  nodded,  with  compressed  lips. 

"  He  has  been  pretty  bad,  but  I  really  think  he 
is  sobering  up.  When  I  left  him,  he  seemed  to 
have  himself  under  control.  And  he  gave  me  his 
word  that  he  would  be  sober  at  two,  when  I  go 
back." 

She  seemed  to  be  musing,  in  a  depressed  fash- 
ion.    Then  she  glanced  up,  met  my  eye,  and  tried 
to  look  brighter.     "  The  trouble  with  him  is,"  she 
said,  "  you  can  never  be  sure." 
247 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  I  know,"  I  replied,  "  but  I  could  n't  refuse  to 
give  him  three  hours  —  less  than  three  hours. 
You  see,  dear,  there  is  no  pressure  I  could  bring 
upon  him.  I  have  n't  even  the  advantage  of  phys- 
ical strength.  And,  really,  you  know,  when  you 
come  right  down  to  it,  my  whole  position  was  the 
weakest  possible  —  I  had  absolutely  no  right  to 
talk  to  him  like  that." 

We  fell  silent  again.  Finally  she  turned 
squarely  around,  and  leaned  against  the  casement, 
and  gave  me  her  hand.  I  saw  then  that  there 
were  tears  in  her  eyes,  and  deep  sorrow,  but  about 
her  mouth  there  were  evidences  of  a  strong  deter- 
mination that  explained  why  the  tears  did  not 
come. 

We  looked  at  each  other. 

"  Tell  me,"  she  said,  "  what  becomes  of  you  in 
this  arrangement  ?  " 

"  Oh,"  I  replied,  "  I  stay  here  and  do  my  work. 
There  is  just  one  thing  I  am  going  to  ask  of  you, 
Heloise  -—  will  you  help  me  make  the  scales 
again?" 

She  looked  surprised,  I  thought ;  and  her  mouth 
twisted  into  the  faintest  of  smiles.  Then  she 
nodded.  "  Yes,"  she  said,  "  we  will  make  the 
scales." 

"  Don't  you  see,"  she  went  on,  "  that  what  you 
248 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

are  trying  to  do  brings  us  closer  together  than 
years  of  ordinary,  selfish  love-making?" 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  in  a  way." 

"  In  every  way,"  said  she.  "  Are  you  blind, 
Anthony  ?  Can't  you  see  how  you  are  making  me 
love  you?  " 

I  tore  my  hands  away  from  her.  I  could  not 
stand  it.  But  my  •  brain  was  still  clear,  thank 
God! 

"  Heloise  —  dear !  "  I  cried,  "  this  only  makes  it 
harder.  We  must  play  fair.  We  must  see  it 
through.  If  he  goes  back  to  America,  then  you 
must  go  to  Paris,  and  I  must  stay  here." 

"  What  if  I  should  refuse  to  go  to  Paris?  "  said 
she,  still  looking  at  me. 

"  You  will  not  do  that,"  I  answered  her.  "  For 
it  is  the  condition  on  which  he  will  set  you 
free." 

"  Then  what  is  to  prevent  my  waiting  for  you 
there  —  one  year,  two  years  ?  " 

"  You  will  be  too  busy  to  wait  —  you  will  be 
working,  growing,  changing  —  yes,  you  will 
change.  You  will  not  need  me  then.  Your  life 
must  not  stand  still  because  of  a  man  who  loved 
you  away  out  here  in  Peking," —  I  said  this  as 
steadily  as  I  could, —  "  it  must  go  on,  and  on,  and 
on." 

249 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  Oh,"  said  she,  "  you  think  I  would  do  that. 
You  think  I  would  change." 

I  nodded.  "  Life  is  change.  And  you  are  full 
of  life.  Sad  as  you  have  been,  dear,  I  can  see 
that.  I  am  a  narrow  man.  If  you  came  to  me,  I 
would  be  weak  enough  to  want  you  by  me,  in  my 
home.  I  should  want  —  children.  I  should  want 
you  to  be  my  wife,  my  helpmate,  my — " 

"  Well  .  .  ."  she  breathed,  with  shining  eyes. 

"  No,  Heloise,  whatever  you  may  think  now,  I 
could  never  forget  what  I  should  be  shutting  you 
out  from,  and  it  would  make  me  unhappy.  Don't 
you  see,  dear?  You  must  follow  your  own  genius. 
That  is  what  I  am  trying  to  help  you  do."  And 
I  added  sadly,  "  It  is  the  only  way  out  for  you, 
anyway,  because  it  is  the  only  course  that  he  will 
agree  to  —  if  he  should  agree  to  anything." 

"  Oh,  Anthony,"  she  said,  "  is  all  that  true?  Is 
it  just  the  old  conflict  between  one's  own  personal 
life  and  the  career  that  one  is  drawn  to?  Don't 
you  suppose  I  could  give  my  life  to  helping  you 
and  be  happy  in  it  —  so  happy  that  it  would  make 
you  happy  too?  Thinking  of  those  days  that  we 
spent  working  together,  it  has  seemed  that  way  to 
me.  Just  to-day  it  has  seemed  so." 

I  shook  my  head.  "  You  have  a  great  gift  in 
your  voice,  Heloise.  It  must  be  used.  It  must 

250 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

grow  greater.  You  are  unsubmissive,  a  rebel; 
which  is  precisely  what  an  artist  must  be.  You 
have  the  spirit  of  a  fine  artist.  You  must  culti- 
vate and  expand  that  spirit.  There  is  nothing 
ahead  of  you,  Heloise,  but  work  —  hard,  hard 
work.  And  loneliness.  That  is  the  lot  of  the  art- 
ist. But  it  will  bring  its  compensations.  And 
even  the  work  itself  is  a  great  opportunity." 
"  Oh,  yes,"  she  said,  "  I  know  that." 
"And  you  must  not  weaken,  dear.  You  have 
headed  that  way  —  you  must  go  straight  on  now. 
And  I  will  live  in  your  success." 

"  Does  it  really  come  down  to  that,  Anthony?  " 
"  It  comes  down  to  that.     You  've  got  to  do  it, 
anyway  —  you  have  no  choice.     I  am  only  bring- 
ing up  these  reasons  now  because  they  may  help 
you  to  think  it  out." 

"  Perhaps  this  is  my  real  punishment,"  she  ob- 
served, "  losing  you  just  when  I  have  found  you." 
And  then  the  tears  came  to  her  eyes  again. 

"  Perhaps,"  said  I.  "  Perhaps  not.  If  so,  it 
is  a  punishment  for  being  alive,  since,  one  way  or 
another,  every  human  being  must  face  it.  Every 
life  has  to  be  lived,  you  know,  dear.  It  is  hard 
to  live  a  life  —  straight  through  to  its  end.  It  is 
still  harder  if  one  fails  to  live  it.  ...  And  then, 
this  applies  to  me,  as  to  you.  There  is  no  more 

251 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

reason  that  you  should  give  up  the  proper  direc- 
tion of  your  life  than  there  is  that  I  should  give 
up  mine  and  follow  you." 

"  Oh,"  she  said,  with  a  little  gasp,  "  I  never 
thought  of  that !  " 

"  It  is  so,  Heloise.  We  are  both  positive  na- 
tures. We  have  each  a  life  to  live.  Let  us  try 
to  live  them  honestly  and  thoroughly.  Perhaps, 
in  doing  that,  each  will  one  day  make  the  other 
happy  and  proud." 

We  paused.  And  then  Heloise,  being  a  woman, 
turned  swiftly  back  to  the  practical  aspect  of  the 
problem. 

"  But,  Anthony,"  she  broke  out,  "  you  don't  for 
a  minute  suppose  that  I  would  let  you  undertake 
all  that  expense  for  me?  You  don't  really  think 
I  would  accept  it  ?  " 

Now  it  had  to  come;  the  money  business,  that 
I  had  shrunk  from  mentioning  when  I  told  her  of 
my  talk  with  Crocker. 

I  hesitated,  then  blurted  it  out  — 

"  He  must  pay  you  a  reasonable  sum  to  cover 
that  expense." 

"  Oh  —  Anthony !  "  Her  eyes  flashed  fire.  "  T 
won't  touch  a  cent  of  his  money !  " 

"But  —  but— " 

"  Not  one  cent  1 " 

252 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Somehow  I  felt  very  sordidly  masculine  as  I 
stood  there  trying  to  explain.  I  gave  her  the  rea- 
sons, as  I  had  thought  them  out  —  that  it  was 
mere  justice  to  recompense  her  for  the  time  he 
had  forced  her  to  lose. 

But  my  voice  began  to  falter,  as  I  ran  on  with 
the  jargon;  for  I  saw  that  she  was  not  listening. 
She  had  become  very  white.  She  leaned  against 
the  casement,  all  limp  and  sad,  gazing  out  over  the 
roofs.  Her  breath  was  coming  more  quickly. 
And  I  saw  her  draw  her  under  lip  in  a  little  way 
between  her  teeth. 

My  voice  trailed  off  into  silence.  For  I  sud- 
denly knew  that  she  was  thinking  of  her  own  ut- 
ter helplessness.  And  as  the  fact  tortured  her  fine, 
free  spirit,  so  also  it  tortured  mine.  I  reached 
my  hand  toward  hers ;  then,  since  she  did  not  see, 
withdrew  it.  There  could  be  no  help  for  either 
of  us  in  that  contact  —  nothing  but  a  deeper  con- 
fusion. Then  I  turned  and  walked, away  across 
the  room,  and  sat  gloomily  on  the  edge  of  the 
bed. 

We  must  have  remained  silent  for  several  min- 
utes. It  seemed  an  hour  to  me,  as  I  sat  there, 
brooding,  and  struggling  against  the  tendency  to 
brood. 

Then  I  heard  her  step,  and  her  voice ;  and  looked 
253 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

up  to  find  her  standing  over  me.     She  was  actu- 
ally smiling  —  a  resolute  smile. 

"  Forgive  me,  Anthony,"  she  said.  And  then, 
before  I  could  exclaim  at  this,  she  added,  enthu- 
siastically, like  the  girl  she  often  seems  — 

"  Let 's  make  the  new  scales  now !  " 

For  a  moment  I  could  only  look  at  her,  wonder- 
ing at  her  astonishing  buoyancy  of  spirit.  Then, 
as  she  was  herself  carrying  my  phonograph  to  the 
table  and  adjusting  the  horn,  I  got  up  —  still  heavy 
and  a  thought  bewildered  —  and  brought  a  box  of 
cylinders. 

While  I  was  at  this,  she  walked  a  few  times  to 
the  window  and  back,  swinging  her  arms  freely, 
like  a  boy,  and  inhaling  deep  breaths.  Her  col- 
lar evidently  confined  her  throat,  for  she  tore  it 
open  with  an  unconscious  vigor  that  displaced 
a  hook  and  sent  it  flying  against  the  window.  She 
seemed  not  to  notice  this.  She  swung  up  on  the 
balls  of  her  feet  and  ran  through  a  number  of  vo- 
cal exercises.  It  thrilled  me  to  hear  again  that 
wonderful  voice,  with  the  firm  resonance  and  the 
fine  quality  that  always,  to  me,  makes  her  seem 
something  more  than  woman. 

"  It 's  a  wonder  I  can  bring  the  tones  out  at  all," 
she  observed,  half  to  herself.  "  I  have  n't  sung 
a  note  for  days." 

254 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Next  she  began  running  scales;  very  carefully 
and  precisely,  her  eyebrows  puckered  into  an  in- 
tent frown.  And  I  watched  her  white  throat,  and 
round  chin,  and  delicately  curving  mouth. 

She  caught  me  looking  at  her,  and  flashed  a 
smile  at  me.  Then,  with  her  eyes  on  mine,  took 
in  a  quick  deep  breath  that  filled  her  chest  out  sol- 
idly, and,  full  voice,  broke  into  the  old  familiar 
waltz  song  from  "  Romeo  and  Juliet." 

I  knew  then  that  I  had  never  really  heard  her 
sing  before.  She  saw  the  surprise  on  my  face,  I 
know,  for  her  eyes  suddenly  sparkled  and  sprung 
away  from  mine  and  she  flushed  with  pleasure; 
but  she  went  right  on  with  the  song  —  sang  it 
clear  through,  managing  the  lace-like  coloratura 
work  with  perfect  ease  and  precision,  uncon- 
sciously throwing  her  whole  body  into  the  glori- 
ous, swaying  rhythm  of  the  waltz,  and  letting  out 
a  volume  of  tone  —  of  sheer,  luscious  tone,  with- 
out a  particle  of  "wood"  in  it  —  that  filled  the 
room,  that  would  have  filled  the  greatest  opera 
house  in  the  world,  that  throbbed  about  my  ears 
and  set  my  emotions  vibrating  in  harmony  with 
it  and  with  the  mood  of  the  singer  that  animated 
it. 

When  she  had  done,  I  stood  motionless  there. 
It  seemed  to  me  that  echoes  of  that  wonderful 

255 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

voice  were  still  floating  to  my  sense-consciousness 
from  every  quarter  of  the  shabby  little  room.  I 
know  that  I  had  to  look  out  for  a  moment  at  the 
sunlight  on  the  roofs  beyond  the  window,  and 
myself  take  in  a  deep  breath  that,  I  fear,  was  half 
a  sigh. 

She  was  standing  by  me. 

"  We  must  get  to  work,"  she  said. 

I  put  a  cylinder  on  the  machine.  First  I  looked 
at  her  and  tried  to  speak,  but  could  r/ot.  I  don't 
know  what  it  could  have  been  that  I  thought  I 
wanted  to  say.  Probably  it  was  nothing  more 
than  the  inarticulate  emotions  her  singing  had 
stirred,  groping  for  some  outward  expression  in 
words. 

Her  eyes  were  very  bright.  I  motioned  her  to 
go  ahead. 

"  You  have  n't  wound  it  up,"  she  said,  and 
chuckled  softly.  I  can  not  account  for  her  moods. 
But,  for  that  matter,  I  think  I  chuckled  with  her. 

We  made  twelve  records.  I  believe  they  will 
prove  to  be  even  better,  on  the  whole,  than  the  ten 
I  destroyed.  So,  whatever  happens,  I  have  again 
my  close-interval  scale;  again  I  have  the  selfish 
gratification  of  knowing  that  I  have  been  enabled 
to  establish  a  basis  of  scientific  interval  comparison 
for  the  use  of  all  students  of  primitive  music.  It 
256 


is  Heloise's  last  gift  to  me,  done  in  a  strange  sort 
of  joy  that,  even  to-night,  breaks  triumphantly 
through  the  shadow  that  lies  on  her  life  and 
mine. 

She  watched  me  while  I  removed  the  last  of  the 
twelve  cylinders,  and  carefully  sealed  it  in  its  sep- 
arate box,  and  wrote  the  label.  Then  she  said : 

"  Oh,  Anthony,  it  is  so  —  worth  while !  " 

All  I  could  say  in  reply  —  so  full  was  my  heart 
—  was: 

"  Yes,  dear.     Work  is  the  answer." 

And  so  close  were  we  now,  that  I  knew  she  did 
not  think  my  reply  inept. 

She  looked  at  her  watch,  then  soberly  reflected. 

"  It  is  half  past  one,  Anthony,"  she  said. 

Conscious  that  I  still  found  some  difficulty  in 
talking,  she  added :  "  Would  it  do  any  good  for 
me  to  go  —  with  you,  or  alone  ?  " 

"  No,"  said  I,  shaking  my  head.  "  Not  now. 
It  would  only  excite  him.  And  that  would  help 
nobody." 

"  I  know,"  said  she.  "  I  hate  to  be  passive,  this 
way.  I  feel  as  if  I  were  shirking  — " 

"  You  are  n't.  It  will  take  some  courage  to  do 
what  you  must  do." 

"  I  know,"  she  said  again.     "  Be  patient,  keep 
steady;  help  you  that  way.     I  know,  Anthony." 
257 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

It  had  occurred  to  me,  when  I  left  Crocker  in 
the  morning,  that,  in  the  event  of  any  actual  physi- 
cal encounter,  there  would  be  a  quite  unnecessary 
danger  to  me  in  wearing  my  glasses.  I  thought 
of  this  again,  now ;  and  going  to  the  bureau  I  got 
my  spectacle  case  and  slipped  it  into  my  coat 
pocket. 

Heloise  watched  me,  but  asked  no  questions.  I 
put  on  my  hat,  and  took  my  stick  from  the  corner 
by  the  door. 

"  Good-by,  Heloise,"  I  said.  I  knew  that  un- 
less we  parted  swiftly  my  will  would  weaken  and 
I  should  take  her  in  my  arms.  So  I  only  said 
good-by,  and  opened  the  door. 

But  she  came  right  forward,  and  took  my  hand. 
Our  eyes  met.  What  I  saw  in  hers  reassured  me. 
She  seemed  very  steady  and  strong. 

"  Anthony,"  she  said,  "  I  have  been  selfish, 
and  weak.  I  have  made  it  hard  for  you.  But 
you  can  count  on  me  now." 

I  tried  to  murmur  a  protest  to  this,  but  she 
swept  on :  "I  am  going  to  do  whatever  you  de- 
cide for  me.  I  shan't  make  any  more  difficulties. 
Now  go.  God  bless  you,  Anthony." 

She  dropped  my  hand,  and  stepped  back. 

I  stood  there  and  fumbled  the  door  knob.  I 
felt  that  I  was  almost  certainly  going  to  draw  her 

258 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

to  me  and  kiss  those  wonderful  eyes  that  are  the 
light  of  my  soul. 

But  she  still  looked  strong. 

"  I  wonder,"  she  said,  musingly,  "  if  there  was 
ever,  anywhere  in  the  world,  a  man  exactly  like 
you." 

Then  she  turned  away.  "  You  'd  better  go," 
she  said,  with  a  little  gesture. 

I  went  then. 

Crocker  was  not  in  his  room,  at  the  Wagon-lits. 
I  knocked  several  times;  then,  turning  the  knob 
and  finding  that  the  door  was  unlocked,  walked 
in  and  looked  around. 

I  was  about  to  leave  when  the  thought  of  that 
sheath  knife  came  to  me.  It  was  an  unpleasant 
thought ;  but  once  it  had  got  into  my  mind  I  could 
not,  it  seemed,  get  it  out.  I  stood  there  in  the 
middle  of  the  room,  thinking  about  it.  The  suit- 
case was  still  on  the  chair  by  the  wall,  closed. 

I  took  a  step  toward  it.  Then  another.  Then, 
suddenly  conscious  of  my  weakness,  I  went  over 
to  it  and  threw  back  the  cover. 

The  knife  was  not  there.  I  rummaged  through 
the  garments  and  the  odds  and  ends  that  filled  the 
suit-case.  But  the  knife  was  gone. 

I  rushed  out  of  the  room  and  ran  the  length  of 
259 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  corridor.  I  hurried  down  the  stairs;  looked 
about  the  office  and  lounge;  went  to  the  bar. 
There  was  no  sign  of  him. 

I  was  turning  away  from  the  barroom  door, 
when  I  realized  that  a  fat  man  was  beckoning  to 
me  from  a  table  by  the  opposite  wall.  He  was 
sitting  alone,  an  empty  liqueur  glass  before  him. 
Across  the  table  was  another  empty  glass. 

He  was  beckoning  violently,  with  his  whole  arm. 
I  had  seen  that  round  face  somewhere.  Then  I 
remembered.  He  was  on  the  ship  with  us,  cross- 
ing the  Pacific  —  the  vaudeville  manager  from 
Cincinnati  —  played  fan-tan  all  the  time.  I  never 
did  know  his  name.  He  wore  a  genial  grin  now. 
Perhaps  he  would  have  some  information  for  me. 
At  least,  I  could  ask  him.  So  I  crossed  over. 

He  wrung  my  hand.  "  How  's  little  Mr.  Music 
Master,"  he  cried.  "  Sit  down.  Oh,  sure  you  can 
—  sit  right  down  there !  " 

I  looked  at  my  watch.  It  was  ten  minutes  of 
two.  I  had  said  that  I  would  be  at  Crocker's  room 
at  two.  It  was  pretty  important  that  I  should  keep 
my  word.  Why  could  n't  I  think  more  clearly  ? 
He  might  be  somewhere  about  the  hotel,  of  course. 
If  only  the  knife  hadn't  disappeared!  Suddenly 
I  wanted  to  rush  back  upstairs  and  look  through 
that  suit-case  again.  The  knife  might  have 

260 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

slipped  down  one  side.  Yes,  he  might  have  done 
that  in  getting  something  else  out  of  the  suit-case. 
.  .  .  Come  to  think  of  it,  I  had  n't  looked  in  the 
dining-room ! 

Then  I  heard  what  the  fat  vaudeville  manager 
was  saying: 

"  Remember  the  Port  Watch  ?  Big  fellow  — 
walked  the  deck  so  much  —  and  kept  a  sort  o'  slow 
bun  sizzling  all  the  time  ?  Well  — " 

"  Have  you  seen  him  ?  "  I  asked  quickly. 

"  Sure,  right  here.  Not  five  minutes  back. 
Had  a  couple  of  drinks  with  me.  But  say,  I  don't 
think  he  knew  me.  He  acted  funny  —  walked  and 
sat  very  erect  —  looked  solemn  and  did  n't  say 
much." 

"  Which  way  did  he  go  ?  "  said  I,  trying  to  ap- 
pear composed.  But  I  felt  him  looking  quizzically 
at  me,  as  if  saying  to  himself,  "Well,  here's  an- 
other of  'em." 

"  Did  he  have  his  hat?  "  said  I,  on  the  heels  of 
my  other  question. 

"  No.  I  think  he  went  up  to  get  it.  Funny 
thing.  I  did  n't  make  out  what  was  the  matter 
until  he  pulled  out  a  big  knife  —  in  a  lacquered 
sheath,  it  was  —  and  said  —  what  was  it  he  said  ? 
• —  Oh,  yes  — '  They  pretty  near  put  it  over  on  me, 
but  I  'm  too  smart  for  them.'  That  was  it.  He 

261 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

whispered  it,  real  mysterious  — '  They  pretty  near 
put  it  over  on  me,  but  I  'm  too  smart  for  them.' 
Do  you  know,  he  made  me  feel  damn  uncomfort- 
able. I  think  the  man  ain't  safe." 

I  listened  to  all  this,  in  a  way.  At  least,  I  seem 
to  recall  it  now,  word  for  word.  But  I  was  try- 
ing to  decide  whether  to  go  upstairs  on  the  chance 
of  heading  him  off  there,  or  to  hurry  directly  back 
to  the  Hotel  de  Chine. 

I  decided  on  the  latter  course.  I  think  the 
vaudeville  man  had  just  about  uttered  the  last 
sentence  recorded  above  when  I  turned  and  ran 
out  of  the  room.  He  must  have  been  puzzled. 

Yes,  I  ran.  One  or  two  of  the  drinking  crowd 
shouted  after  me,  I  think.  I  ran  down  the  cor- 
ridor, through  the  lounge,  and  out  to  the  street.  I 
remember  that  two  Chinese  hall  boys  stood  gaping 
as  I  passed.  And  parties  of  tourists  looked  up 
from  their  after-tiffin  coffee  and  their  drinks  —  al- 
ways the  drinks. 

I  leaped  into  a  rickshaw,  and  called  — 

"Two  piecee  coolie!  Two  piecee  coolie!" 
And  then,  when  one  brown-legged  ragamuffin  had 
picked  up  the  shafts  and  another  had  fallen  in  be- 
hind the  seat,  added,  still  in  a  shrill  voice,  "  Hotel 
de  Chine  —  chop,  chop !  " 


262 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

It  was  incongruous,  that  absurd  pidgin-English 
at  such  a  time. 

But  it  was  effective.  I  have  never  traveled  so 
rapidly  through  the  streets  of  Peking.  I  found 
two  Mexican  dollars  in  my  pocket,  and  held  them 
up,  one  in  each  hand. 

"  Chop,  chop !  Chop,  chop ! "  I  cried  again. 
And  the  coolies  put  their  heads  down  and  ran  with 
all  the  strength  that  was  in  them. 

They  pulled  up  in  my  shabby  little  street,  with  a 
jerk  that  nearly  threw  me  out.  I  sprang  down, 
threw  the  two  dollars  on  the  seat,  and  ran  into  the 
hotel. 

Then  I  stopped  short. 

For  standing  by  the  clerk's  desk,  looking  over 
the  board  that  hung  there  with  our  names  —  Hel- 
oise's  and  mine  —  in  plain  view,  stood  Crocker. 
He  was  peering  closely  from  line  to  line  down  the 
first  column  of  names,  guiding  his  eye  with  an 
unsteady  forefinger.  He  stood  up  very  straight, 
with  feet  placed  a  little  way  apart.  From  the  side 
pocket  of  his  coat  projected  the  silver  tip  of  the 
knife  handle,  beneath  which  I  could  see  a  half -inch 
of  black  lacquer. 

I  drew  my  spectacle  case  from  my  pocket,  took 
off  my  glasses,  and  carefully  put  them  away. 

He  was  intent  on  the  list  of  names  and  room 
263 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

numbers.  Behind  the  counter  stood  the  little 
French  manager,  leaning  forward  and  watching 
him  rather  coldly.  But  Crocker  was  oblivious  to 
all  but  the  one  idea;  his  finger  wobbled  slowly 
downward  from  name  to  name. 

My  first  impulse  was  to  go  directly  up  to  him. 
But  what  then?  What  could  I  say  or  do?  He 
was  past  reason,  surely;  but  not  past  the  use  of 
his  physical  strength.  He  had  been  every  bit  as 
drunk  as  this  when  he  knocked  the  waiter  down  in 
the  hotel  at  Yokohama.  What  if  he  were  to 
knock  me  down  in  the  same  way  —  with  that  sud- 
den, short  swing  of  his  fist  to  the  chin?  I  would 
of  course  drop  as  the  waiter  had  dropped,  and, 
like  him,  would  lie  inert,  leaving  Crocker  free  to 
rove  at  will. 

My  eyes  turned  to  the  stairway,  up  and  down 
which  I  have  walked  or  run  so  many  times  during 
this  eventful  week. 

That  was  the  place.  I  would  at  least  be  above 
him  there  ...  if  I  could  pass  him  and  reach  it 
safely. 

I  stepped  forward,  cautiously. 

The  manager  was  watching  me  as  well,  now, 
with  knit  brows.  But  this  was  no  time  to  consider 
him. 

Crocker  was  having  some  difficulty  in  reading 
264 


Standing  motionless,  he  brought  out 
his  knife 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  list  of  names.  His  finger  went  back  to  the  top 
of  the  board,  and  again  began  wobbling  slowly 
down  from  line  to  line. 

I  tiptoed  past  him.     He  did  not  turn. 

I  went  on  up  the  stairs,  but  not  quite  to  the  top. 
Thank  God,  Heloise  did  not  know  —  not  yet. 

From  this  point  I  could  not  see  him.     I  waited. 

Finally  —  it  seemed  a  long  time,  but  I  suppose 
it  was  not  more  than  two  or  three  minutes,  really 
-  he  appeared  at  the  foot  of  the  stairs.  He  was 
swaying  a  very  little.  On  his  face  was  the  crafty 
expression  I  had  seen  there  once  or  twice  during 
our  talk  in  the  morning;  his  eyes  had  narrowed 
down  to  slits.  Curiously  enough,  he  was  still  pale, 
not  red,  as  I  should  naturally  expect  in  the  case  of 
a  man  as  drunk  as  he.  If  he  saw  me  at  all,  wait- 
ing there  a  little  way  from  the  top  of  the  stairway, 
the  sight  of  me  meant  nothing  to  his  disordered 
mind. 

He  placed  one  foot  on  the  bottom  step,  stopped 
and  put  his  hand  to  his  mouth  (standing  motion- 
less, as  if  trying  to  think),  then  brought  out  his 
knife.  He  drew  it  from  the  sheath.  It  had  a 
wicked  blade  —  designed  for  desperate,  primitive 
uses,  I  should  say.  The  sheath  he  returned  to  his 
pocket. 

Then,  with  a  curiously  set,  almost  businesslike 
267 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

expression  on  his  face,  he  came  running  up  the 
stairs. 

I  blocked  the  way,  holding  out  both  arms. 

He  brushed  me  aside.  But  I  clung  to  his 
arm. 

He  made  an  effort  to  jerk  away  from  me.  I 
said  something  to  him;  I  don't  know  now  what  it 
was,  but  I  remember  that  I  was  very  careful  not 
to  raise  my  voice.  I  think  he  did  n't  reply  at  all ; 
just  kept  on  pulling  away  from  me. 

But  I  clung.  I  did  n't  know  what  on  earth  I 
could  do.  There  could  be  no  agreement,  no  ar- 
rangement, with  this  wild  man.  Everything  had 
gone  to  pieces.  All  my  hopes  for  Heloise  had 
been  snuffed  out  in  a  moment.  And  the  thought 
that  my  grip  on  his  arm  was  the  only  thing  inter- 
vening between  her  and  a  fate  that  I  can  not  even 
bring  myself  to  think  about,  almost  stops  my  heart, 
right  now.  Then,  of  course,  there  was  no  time  to 
consider  even  that;  I  just  clung  to  him. 

I  think  he  must  have  caught  hold  of  the  rail  at 
first  with  his  right  hand,  to  steady  himself  as  he 
silently  tugged  and  jerked;  for  it  was  a  moment 
later  that  he  struck  me.  I  had  swung  around 
partly  behind  him,  fortunately,  and  the  blow 
glanced  off  my  head.  It  made  me  feel  giddy  for 
a  moment,  but  it  was  not  effective.  We  tottered, 

268 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

and  I  think  he  caught  again  at  the  rail  to  keep 
from  falling. 

I  hung  desperately  to  his  thrashing  arm,  pillow- 
ing my  head  behind  it  to  keep  out  of  his  reach. 

Then,  looking  down,  I  saw  his  feet,  the  left  a 
step  below  the  right.  I  hooked  my  right  foot 
around  his  left  ankle,  and,  with  all  my  strength, 
pulled  it  toward  me.  I  felt  his  leg  give.  I  pulled 
harder;  made  one  great  convulsive  effort. 

He  tottered,  and  fell  slowly  backward,  carrying 
me  a  little  way  with  him.  Then  I  found  myself 
sitting  jammed  against  the  wall,  with  a  dazed,  ach- 
ing head,  while  he  slid  clear  to  the  ground  floor 
and  lay  there,  on  his  back,  his  left  leg  doubled 
under  him  in  a  curiously  unnatural  way.  The 
manager,  I  remember,  stood  over  him,  very  white, 
pulling  with  rapid  little  jabs  at  his  mustache,  and 
saying  nothing  at  all. 

It  was  an  oddly  silent  affair,  from  beginning  to 
end.  I  remember  looking  anxiously  upward  in  the 
fear  that  Heloise  had  heard  and  run  out.  I 
dreaded  the  look  of  anguish  that  would  surely  be 
on  her  face.  But  she  was  not  there. 

I  drew  myself  to  my  feet.  A  few  steps  below 
me  lay  the  knife.  I  picked  it  up,  then  went  on 
down. 

Some  China  boys  were  bringing  a  cot.  They 
269 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

lifted  Crocker,  very  carefully,  and  laid  him  on  it, 
then  carried  him  into  the  office.  He  must  have 
been  suffering  intense  pain;  but  he  only  set  his 
teeth  hard,  and  once  or  twice  drew  in  a  quick,  hiss- 
ing breath. 

I  followed  them  in,  and  stood  over  him.  After 
a  moment  he  rolled  his  head  around  and  looked  at 
me.  I  could  see  that  he  was  puzzled. 

"  Where  am  I,  Eckhart?  "  he  asked. 

"  At  the  Hotel  de  Chine." 

"  The  Hotel  de  —  That 's  where  — " 

"  It  is  where  I  am  stopping,"  said  I. 

He  whitened,  and  winced;  whether  in  physical 
or  mental  pain  I  am  unable  to  say. 

"  My  leg  is  broken,"  he  observed,  a  little  later. 

I  nodded. 

"Who  did  it?" 

"  I  did." 

He  knit  his  brows.  Then  he  saw  the  knife  in 
my  hand,  and  bit  his  lip.  It  did  not  occur  to  me, 
then,  to  put  the  knife  away. 

We  were  silent  again.  Then  — "  Take  me  to 
the  Wagon-lits,"  he  said. 

"  Oh,  no,"  I  cried,  "  we  will  take  care  of  you 
here." 

He  shook  his  head,  and  again  bit  his  lip.  "  I 
want  to  go  to  the  Wagon-lits,"  he  repeated. 

270 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  In  one  moment,  sir."  It  was  the  manager, 
talking  over  my  shoulder.  I  stared ;  for  I  had  not 
heard  him  approach.  "  In  a  moment,  sir.  The 
automobile,  it  will  be  here." 

After  all,  it  was  better  so,  if  he  could  stand  it. 
And  doubtless  he  could. 

He  was  looking  again  at  the  knife  in  my  hand. 
I  held  it  up  and  stared  at  it.  There  was  a  little 
blood  on  it,  near  the  point.  He  reached  out,  and 
I  gave  it  to  him.  It  was  his  property,  not  mine. 
Very  deliberately  he  drew  the  sheath  from  his 
pocket,  put  the  knife  into  it,  and  thrust  it  into  his 
side  pocket.  But  he  thought  differently  of  this; 
for  a  moment  later,  when  he  thought  I  was  not 
looking,  he  transferred  it  to  his  inside  breast 
pocket.  I  wondered  a  little  at  this.  Then  it  oc- 
curred to  me  that  he  feared  it  might  be  observed 
by  others,  there  in  the  side  pocket. 

An  automobile  drew  up  before  the  building. 

"  I  have  telephone  for  the  doctor,"  said  the 
manager.  "  It  is  that  he  will  await  us  at  the 
Wagon-lits." 

Then  we  carried  Crocker  out  on  his  cot  —  the 
manager,  three  Chinamen,  and  I.  He  was  very 
heavy.  And  they  took  him  away.  He  did  not 
look  at  me  again,  or  speak  to  me.  And  I,  of 
course,  said  nothing. 

271 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  hesitated  outside  the  door  of  my  room,  trying 
to  think  out  what  I  should  say  to  Heloise.  But  I 
could  not  think  very  clearly.  Neither  could  I 
stand  there  indefinitely. 

I  went  in,  opening  the  door  very  softly,  and 
closing  it  softly  behind  me.  My  principal  thought, 
at  the  moment,  was  of  getting  across  to  my  bureau 
and  brushing  my  hair  and  straightening  my  tie  be- 
fore Heloise  should  see  me.  I  could  not  bear  to 
think  of  coming  before  her  with  these  visible  evi- 
dences of  the  struggle  upon  me. 

But  I  could  not  get  beyond  the  bed.  I  sank 
down  on  it,  leaning  against  the  footboard.  I  was 
sitting  this  way  when  Heloise  came  in. 

She  came  swiftly  toward  me,  a  hundred  ques- 
tions in  her  eyes.  She  never  before  looked  so 
lovely  to  me  as  standing  there  before  me,  blue  of 
gown  and  eye  —  all  blue,  it  seemed  to  me  —  some- 
thing flushed  with  excitement,  her  under  lip  drawn 
in  a  little  way  between  her  teeth. 

"  Oh,  Anthony,"  she  said,  low  and  breathless, 
"  you  are  hurt !  " 

I  shook  my  head.  But  she  was  staring  down  at 
my  left  hand,  that  lay  on  my  knee.  My  gaze  fol- 
lowed hers.  There  was  blood  on  my  wrist.  It 
must  have  run  down  my  arm. 

She  helped  me  take  off  my  coat,  and  with  a  small 
272 


"Oh,  Anthony,  are  you  hurt?' 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

pair  of  scissors  that  she  got  from  her  room  cut  off 
my  shirt  sleeve  at  the  shoulder.  It  was  wet  and 
stained  with  red. 

There  was  a  gash  in  my  upper  arm. 

She  held  up  the  arm  and  looked  closely  at  it.  I 
liked  the  direct,  practical  way  she  went  about  it. 

"  It  is  n't  an  artery,"  she  mused,  studying  the 
wound.  "  Not  a  big  one,  anyway."  And  she 
washed  it,  and  drew  it  together  with  plaster  from 
my  emergency  kit,  and  bandaged  it  very  neatly. 
Then  she  helped  me  to  lie  down  —  brought  pillows 
from  her  own  room  to  place  behind  my  head. 

She  did  not  ask  one  question;  just  worked  to 
make  me  comfortable.  Finally  she  sat  on  the  edge 
of  the  bed,  and  critically  looked  me  over. 

"You'll  be  all  right,"  she  said  thoughtfully. 
"  I  know  one  thing  that  is  the  matter.  We  both 
forgot  all  about  luncheon." 

I  had  not  thought  of  it. 

"  Well,"  she  went  on,  "  I  feel  a  little  faint  my- 
self. I  could  n't  think  what  on  earth  was  the 
matter  until  it  came  over  me  all  at  once  that  I  've 
eaten  nothing  to-day  but  one  very  small  break- 
fast." 

I  let  her  ring  for  the  waiter  and  order  food. 
During  this  space  of  time  I  lay  still,  trying  to  think 
how  I  should  tell  her.  Every  moment  it  grew 

275 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

harder.  But  at  last  I  caught  her  hand,  when  she 
was  passing  the  bed,  and  drew  her  down  beside 
me.  She  knew  well  enough  what  was  on  my  mind, 
but  she  only  stroked  my  forehead  with  her  soft, 
cool  fingers. 

In  this  time,  so  pregnant  for  her,  and  so  painful, 
she  was  thinking  how  she  might  spare  me ! 

I  told  her  exactly  what  had  taken  place ;  clumsily 
enough  but,  at  least,  clearly. 

She  had  been  there  in  her  room  all  the  time,  and 
had  not  heard  a  single  unusual  sound. 

She  did  not  say  much,  beyond  a  thoughtful  ques- 
tion or  two.  The  tray  came,  and  she  arranged 
the  little  meal  as  attractively  as  she  could,  there  on 
the  edge  of  the  bed.  But  we  both  grew  more  and 
more  sober  as  the  moments  went  by.  The  thought 
of  poor  Crocker  in  acute  physical  pain,  that  once 
splendid  body  of  his  crippled  and  useless,  disturbed 
us  both.  I  was  glad  to  see  that  there  were  tears 
in  Heloise's  eyes. 

After  the  belated  luncheon  I  felt  distinctly  bet- 
ter. At  four  o'clock  I  got  up.  Heloise,  who  was 
doing  her  best  to  keep  busy  about  her  own  room, 
came  to  the  door  and  suggested  a  walk. 

"  It  won't  hurt  either  of  us,"  she  added,  with  a 
wan  smile. 

So  we  went  out  and  strolled  over  to  that  great 
276 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

thoroughfare,  the  Hata  High  Street,  where  the 
yellow  people  swarm,  and  the  uniformed  police 
direct  the  traffic  with  an  almost  Occidental  sense 
of  order,  and  the  long  brown  camel  trains  from 
Mongolia  and  Kansu  pad  softly  over  the  very 
modern  pavement  and  under  the  electric  street 
lights. 

We  stayed  out  until  nearly  six.  But  our  spirits 
did  not  rise  as  we  had  hoped.  For  whatever  way 
our  thoughts  turned,  they  found  no  light.  We  did 
not  have  to  talk  about  this ;  now  and  then  our  eyes 
met,  and  that  was  enough.  Heloise  was  strangely, 
almost  completely  passive.  Even  in  such  trivial 
matters  as  picking  our  way  through  the  traffic  — 
where,  I  know,  it  would  be  natural  for  her  to  look 
out  for  herself  in  that  brisk,  self-reliant  way  that 
young  American  women  have  —  she  would  turn 
to  me  for  guidance,  and  press  against  my  arm. 
She  watched  me  a  good  deal,  too,  to  make  sure  that 
I  was  not  becoming  tired. 

At  last  we  came  back  to  the  hotel.  As  we 
ascended  the  stairs  I  slipped  my  arm  through  hers. 
She  looked  up  at  my  touch,  and  tried  to  smile ;  and 
her  eyes  seemed  to  cling  to  mine  for  a  moment. 
In  the  dim  light  I  could  feel  them  as  well  as  I  could 
see  them. 

I  opened  my  door,  and  stepped  aside  to  let  her 
277 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

pass  in.  Then  we  both  stopped  and  looked  down 
at  a  white  envelope  that  lay  on  the  sill.  I  picked 
it  up,  then  entered  and  closed  the  door  while  she 
switched  on  the  light. 

I  turned  the  envelope  over  and  over  in  my  hand. 
She  watched  me  for  a  fleeting  second,  almost 
timidly,  then  went  into  her  own  room  to  take  off 
her  hat. 

The  envelope  bore  the  imprint  of  the  hotel.  I 
opened  it,  and  read  the  following : 

"It  is  with  regret  that  the  management  begs  to 
inform  you  of  a  previous  engagement  of  rooms 
1 6  and  18  for  the  I5th  instant,  necessitating  that 
the  rooms  be  vacated  by  that  date." 

Heloise  came  to  the  door,  and  stood  there  ob- 
serving me.  She  was  tucking  back  a  rebellious 
strand  of  hair;  and  she  looked  very  slim  and  girl- 
ish, standing  that  way  with  both  arms  raised. 

I  went  over  to  the  casement  window,  and  threw 
it  open.  Then  I  sat  down  by  it,  on  one  of  the 
chairs  of  bent  iron. 

She  came  toward  me,  disturbed  but  hesitant. 

I  handed  her  the  paper.  She  read  it,  standing 
very  still.  Then  she  looked  up.  Her  face  twisted 
a  little. 

"  Why,  Anthony,"  she  said,  with  a  catch  in  her 
voice,  "  we  're  put  out  of  the  hotel !  " 

278 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

The  sentence  ended  in  an  odd,  explosive  little 
laugh.  Then,  abruptly,  she  slipped  to  the  floor  be- 
side me,  threw  her  arms  across  my  knees,  hid  her 
face  on  them,  and  sobbed. 

There  was  nothing  I  could  say,  of  course.  The 
matter  was  absurdly  unimportant  compared  with 
the  grimmer  uncertainties  before  us.  Yet  it  had 
hit  me  with  almost  the  same  force. 

I  laid  my  hand  on  her  shoulder.  I  stroked  her 
head.  After  a  little  she  groped  for  my  hand  with 
one  of  hers  and,  when  she  found  it,  clung  tightly 
to  it. 

And  all  the  time  I  was  thinking  how  like  a  child 
she  seemed.  I  believe  that  is  the  supreme  quality 
of  the  artist  —  childlikeness.  It  is  a  quality  that 
carries  the  adult  worker  through  hells  of  suffering 
and  heavens  of  unearthly  joy;  and  it  is  a  quality 
for  which  small  allowance  is  made  in  this  particu- 
lar world. 

It  will  soon  be  dawn.  I  have  written  almost  all 
night.  Probably  now  I  had  better  try  to  get  some 
sleep. 

She  came  to  the  door  —  hours  ago.  There  was 
on  her  face  that  new  passive  quality ;  I  can  not  de- 
fine it  exactly,  even  in  my  own  thinking. 

"  Anthony,"  she  said,  with  choirs  of  suppressed 
279 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

music  in  her  low  voice,  "  would  it  be  better,  to- 
morrow you  know,  for  us  to  .  .  ."  She  had  to 
begin  again.  "  Do  you  wish  me  to  go  away  from 
you?  You  must  tell  me  —  not  what  you  want, 
but  what  you  believe  is  best." 

I  could  only  look  at  her  for  a  moment.  I 
could  n't  think  at  all. 

"  Heloise  dear,"  I  said  finally,  "  I  don't  know 
what  is  best.  But  I  know  I  can't  let  you  go.  Not 
yet.  Not  with  everything  uncertain,  like  this. 
We  '11  look  up  another  hotel  in  the  morning." 

She  pursed  her  lips.  Then,  with  a  look  of  sober 
relief  that  she  could  not  altogether  control  she 
slipped  back  into  her  own  room.  And  I  closed 
the  shrunken  door  behind  her,  and  hung  my  rain- 
coat over  the  narrow  opening  that  was  left. 


280 


April  i ^th,  n  A.M. 

WE  are  in  another  dingy  little  hotel  —  off  to 
the  eastward  of  the  Legation  Quarter,  op- 
posite the  German  wall.  We  packed  our  trunks 
last  night.  It  is  forlorn  business,  of  course.  But 
Heloise  has  not  seemed  greatly  depressed.  I  sup- 
pose that  any  activity  is  a  relief  to  her  spirits  after 
the  strain. 

She  is  out  now ;  and  I  am  a  little  worried.  The 
situation  has  switched  about  rather  oddly,  it  ap- 
pears, within  the  hours,  and  it  is  I  who  must  play 
the  passive  role. 

Directly  after  breakfast  we  rode  over  with  our 
hand  luggage  and  engaged  these  rooms.  I  left 
Heloise  here,  and  myself  went  back  for  the  trunks. 
It  took  me  some  little  time. 

When  I  returned,  I  found  a  note  in  my  room. 
Heloise  had  suspended  it  by  a  string  from  my 
chandelier,  where  I  could  not  miss  it. 

There  were  only  a  few  sentences,  penciled  in 
haste.  She  feels  that  she  must  see  Crocker  her- 
self. And  now  that  he,  poor  fellow,  has  lost  the 

281 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

advantage  of  his  greater  physical  strength,  they 
can  meet  as  equals,  in  a  sense. 

This  is  natural,  I  think  —  and  right.  There 
would  have  to  be  a  meeting;  I  can  see  that  now. 
But  it  is  not  so  easy  to  sit  quietly  here.  I  can  do 
nothing,  except  to  go  on  writing  until  she  .  .  . 

They  are  calling  in  the  hall.  I  think  they  want 
me  at  the  telephone. 

It  was  Heloise. 

I  am  still  to  wait.  She  asks  it;  and  I  will. 
And  she  is  right.  It  is  the  only  thing  to  do.  This 
is  her  task,  not  mine. 

But  what  a  task  for  her  slender  hands  —  alone 
there  in  the  great  hotel  where  men  drink  and  bar- 
gain, where  tourists  swarm,  where  women  parade ! 

I  wish  I  could  know  something  of  the  details, 
and  of  what  is  to  be  done.  If  I  could  only  help! 

"  Anthony,"  she  said.     "  He  is  gone." 

"  Gone !  "  I  repeated  stupidly. 

"  He  died  this  morning,  Anthony.  He  was  not 
alive  when  the  automobile  arrived  here." 

"  But,"  I  blundered  on,  "  I  don't  understand  — 
it  was  a  bad  fall,  but — " 

"  It  was  not  the  fall,"  she  said.  Then,  "  Wait 
there,  I  shall  need  you." 

I  heard  the  click  that  cut  me  off,  but  for  a 
282 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

moment  I  just  stood  there  with  the  receiver  still 
pressed  to  my  ear. 

It  was  I  myself  who  had  let  him  have  the  knife. 


283 


April  ijth.     Night. 

HELOISE  called  me  over  to  the  big  hotel  this 
noon,  and  we  had  a  little  talk.  I  was  glad 
to  find  her  completely  mistress  of  herself.  She 
was  very  grave,  but  she  had  a  direct,  practical  way 
about  her  that,  I  could  see,  had  instantly  com- 
manded respect  among  these  strangers.  One 
thought  that  had  worried  me  not  a  little  during  the 
hours  of  her  absence  was  that  she  might  have  dif- 
ficulty in  identifying  herself  as  Crocker's  widow. 
But  it  was  evident  that  no  such  question  had  arisen. 

She  told  me  that  there  was  some  uncertainty  as 
to  whether  the  American  Minister  or  the  Consul- 
General  at  Tientsin  should  be  brought  into  the  mat- 
ter, and  asked  me  to  speak  with  the  manager. 

I  was  down  in  the  main  corridor,  near  the  office, 
waiting  for  an  opportunity  to  do  this,  when  I  en- 
countered the  Cincinnati  man.  He  rose  from  a 
table,  in  the  lounge,  and  crooked  his  finger  at  me. 
I  joined  him. 

He  glanced  about  to  make  sure  that  no  one  was 
within  earshot,  then  said,  talking  around  his  cigar : 

"  I  saw  them  bring  him  in.     Is  he  dead  ?  " 
284 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  nodded. 

"  Looked  like  it.  Too  bad."  He  lowered  his 
cigar  and  pursed  his  lips. 

"Do  the  job  himself?" 

I  nodded  again. 

"  Thought  so.  The  idiots  brought  him  right 
through  here,  with  the  knife  lying  on  top  of  the 
robe.  Pure  luck  that  it  happened  to  be  morning, 
and  nobody  much  around.  I  Ve  been  looking  him 
up.  It 's  awkward  —  awkward  as  hell.  I  saw  his 
wife.  You  want  to  keep  her  out  of  the  publicity, 
I  take  it." 

The  man  was  not  unkind.  He  was  studying  me 
with  shrewd  eyes, —  I  knew  that, —  but  he  was  so 
physically  big  and  solid,  and  so  plainly  a  man  of 
affairs  in  that  rough,  practical  world  that  Crocker 
himself  had  inhabited,  that  I  found  myself  leaning 
on  him.  He  could  help.  And,  as  I  returned  his 
quiet  gaze,  I  knew  that  I  could  trust  him.  I  real- 
ized, all  at  once,  that  the  code  has  its  good  side  as 
well  as  its  bad. 

"  Has  there  got  to  be  publicity?  "  I  asked. 

He  squinted  his  eyes,  took  a  thoughtful  pull  at 
his  cigar,  and  nodded.  "  Rather,"  he  replied. 
"  Everybody  knows  the  Crocker  family.  And  this 
fellow  himself  has  been  on  the  front  .page  now  and 
then.  Publicity  ?  Good  God,  man,  stop  and  think 
285 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

a  minute !  He  's  dead.  And  death  is  one  thing 
you  can't  hush  up  so  easily.  I  know  our  news- 
paper boys  —  and  I  know  that.  .  .  .  Look  here, 
suppose  I  take  hold  with  you.  Glad  to  do  what  I 
can." 

I  nodded  at  this,  and  said  — "  I  wish  you 
would." 

"  All  right.  But  tell  me  first,  is  Mrs.  Crocker 
all  right?  The  correspondents  are  sure  to  get  at 
her,  you  know.  Can  she  meet  them,  and  keep 
cool?" 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  she  can  do  that." 

His  gaze  lingered  a  moment  on  my  face. 

"  I  thought  so,"  he  replied.  "  She  looks  like 
the  right  kind." 

For  a  little  time  he  sat  back  in  his  chair,  smoking 
and  meditating.  Then  he  said: 

"  I  '11  get  the  Consul-General  on  the  wire  and 
ask  him  to  come  over  himself.  We  '11  have  to  tell 
him  everything,  but  I  think  we  can  satisfy  him  —  I 
can  bear  witness  that  he  was  drunk  and  making 
threats.  So  can  you.  The  little  Frenchman  from 
the  other  hotel  must  have  seen  the  thing.  He 
sputtered  around  like  a  crazy  man." 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  Crocker  was  alive  when  they 
started  over  here  in  the  automobile." 

"  I  gathered  that.  Well,  we  can  give  a  pretty 
286 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

complete  story,  among  us  all.  I  don't  know  just 
how  much  you  can  tell,  of  course,  but  I  advise  you 
to  come  out  with  everything  you  know.  Then, 
when  we  are  all  together,  we  can  agree  on  what 
we  '11  give  to  the  press.  The  managers  of  both 
hotels  will  be  glad  to  keep  it  quiet.  And  the  Con- 
sul-General  's  all  right  —  he  '11  help  us  out  to  that 
extent,  I  think.  You  see,  there  's  no  public  inter- 
est to  consider,  nothing  to  hide  but  news.  It 's  the 
lady  being  involved,  you  know  .  .  ." 

He  smoked  a  moment  longer,  then  concluded : 

"  I  think  we  can  swing  it.  You  go  up  now  and 
advise  the  lady  to  keep  very  quiet  and  follow  in- 
structions, while  I  'm  getting  Tientsin  on  the  wire. 
Then  meet  me  here." 

When  I  came  down,  twenty  minutes  later,  he 
met  me  with  a  cheerful  sort  of  steadiness  and  led 
the  way  to  a  corner  of  the  lounge. 

"  The  old  boy  's  coming  himself,"  he  said,  as  we 
dropped  into  chairs.  "  I  'm  dam'  glad.  This  is 
no  job  for  student  interpreters." 

For  a  few  moments  we  talked  along  in  a  desul- 
tory way.  We  had  to  wait  for  a  few  hours  —  no 
escaping  that.  I  could  see  that  the  Cincinnati  man 
had  assumed  the  task  of  keeping  me  occupied,  and 
I  liked  him  for  it. 

He  gave  me  his  card,  by  the  way.  His  name  is 
287 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Hindmann.     He  has  large  interests  in  vaudeville 
theaters  through  the  Middle  West. 

As  we  chatted,  my  share  in  this  strange  drama 
of  Crocker's  life  and  death  seemed  to  be  clearing 
itself  up  in  my  mind  and  taking  form  as  a  nar- 
rative. Hindmann  had  advised  me  to  tell  every- 
thing to  the  Consul-General.  I  was  wondering 
how  I  could  ever  do  it.  For  one  moment  I  even 
thought  of  handing  him  my  journal  and  asking 
him  to  read  it.  The  next  moment,  of  course,  I 
realized  how  impossible  it  would  be  to  do  that  — 
for  this  most  intimately  personal  of  my  belongings 
is  no  longer  mine ;  it  is  more  than  a  part  Heloise's. 
And  the  story  I  tell  the  Consul-General  must  be 
only  my  story. 

Not  an  easy  thing  to  do  —  disentangle  my  share 
in  the  tragic  business  from  Heloise's  and  my  joint 
share,  and  tell  only  that  much  while  still  telling  the 
truth!  It  is  a  little  out  of  my  line,  this  lawyer- 
like  sort  of  thinking. 

I  must  have  appeared  rather  distrait  to  Hind- 
mann. But  if  I  did,  he  ignored  it.  He  just  sat 
and  smoked  —  a  comfortably  fat,  round-faced  man 
with  shrewd,  steady  eyes  —  and  talked  along  in  an 
easy  manner.  He  told  me  a  good  deal  about  his 
vaudeville  business,  I  remember,  and  the  curious 
problems  that  are  constantly  arising  out  of  the  in- 

288 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

vasion  of  the  entertainment  field  by  the  moving 
pictures.  I  think  I  expressed  some  interest,  now 
and  then,  even  asked  an  intelligent  question  or  two; 
but  all  the  time  that  story  was  arranging  and  re- 
arranging itself  in  the  back  of  my  head. 

Finally  I  found  myself  beginning  to  tell  bits  of 
it  to  him.  After  all,  why  not?  He  would  hear 
most  of  it  anyway,  before  night.  Then,  after  a 
little,  it  all  came  rushing  out ;  and  I  realized  that  I 
was  making  a  confidant  of  this  fat  man.  It  had  to 
be,  I  think.  Surely  every  human  being,  at  certain 
intense  moments  of  his  life,  needs  a  confidant. 
And  I  suppose  there  is  never  any  telling,  in  a  given 
case,  what  sort  of  individual  will  be  chosen  for  the 
trust.  Crocker  chose  me  —  and  Sir  Robert !  I 
chose  Mr.  Hindmann,  of  Cincinnati  .  .  .  sitting 
there  in  a  corner  of  the  lounge  of  the  Hotel 
Wagon-lits,  talking  in  a  low  voice  in  order  that 
the  little  groups  of  American  and  British  folk  and 
Germans  might  not  hear  the  details  of  the  love 
that  has  so  very  nearly  torn  my  life  to  pieces. 
The  usual  row  of  Chinese  merchants  were  over 
against  the  wall,  I  remember,  with  their  glorious 
display  of  embroidered  silk  coats  and  skirts  and 
scarves  and  squares  hung  higher  than  their  heads. 
Once  a  great  Mandarin  walked  by  and  bowed  im- 
personally to  us,  attended  by  a  dozen  or  more  of 

289 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

lesser  Mandarins  who  bowed  in  their  turn;  and 
they  all  wore  stiff-fitting  frock  coats,  and  Ameri- 
can shoes,  and  silk  hats  that  came  down  almost  to 
the  tops  of  their  ears! 

Hindmann  said  very  little  —  just  listened,  and 
smoked.  Then,  when  I  had  finished,  he  turned 
away,  looked  rather  steadily  out  the  window,  and 
muttered  something  about  its  being  a  queer  world. 

Later  on,  when  it  was  about  time  for  the  Consul- 
General  to  arrive,  he  advised  me  to  tell  only  of  my 
earlier  acquaintance  with  Crocker,  of  his  drinking 
and  his  declared  intent  to  do  murder,  of  my  hap- 
pening to  be  on  the  stairway  in  the  Hotel  de  Chine 
when  he  came  running  up  with  a  knife  in  his  hand 
—  and  the  rest  in  full. 

"  But,"  I  protested,  "  the  Consul-General  will 
suspect.  There  are  too  many  coincidences  in  that 
story." 

"Of  course  there  are,"  said  Hindmann.  "  And 
of  course  he  '11  see  through  them.  He  was  n't  born 
yesterday.  But  he  won't  say  anything  about  that. 
Neither  will  you.  And  there  you  are." 

The  Consul-General,  with  his  secretary,  arrived 
at  four  o'clock.  He  took  possession  at  once  of 
Crocker's  effects,  locked  them  in  his  room  and  put 
a  seal  on  the  door.  Then  he  called  all  of  us  before 
him  in  the  manager's  private  office  —  the  two  hotel 

290 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

men,  Hindmann  and  myself  —  and  in  the  course 
of  an  hour's  steady  questioning  drew  out  the  story. 

After  which  I  and  the  hotel  men  withdrew,  leav- 
ing him  with  Hindmann  for  another  hour.  I  don't 
know  what  was  said;  Hindmann  has  not  referred 
to  it  since.  But  a  messenger  was  sent  to  the  Lega- 
tion and  I  know  that  the  Consul-General  himself 
did  some  telephoning. 

One  curious  fact  came  out  during  the  examina- 
tion in  the  manager's  office.  Before  the  automo- 
bile had  got  out  of  the  little  Chinese  street  on  the 
way  from  the  Hotel  de  Chine,  Crocker  borrowed 
a  pencil  and  wrote  a  few  hasty  sentences  on  the 
back  of  an  envelope.  The  Consul-General  asked 
for  the  paper ;  but  no  one  had  thought  to  look  for 
it.  It  proved  not  to  be  in  Crocker's  pockets.  The 
automobile  was  called ;  and  there,  sure  enough,  it 
was,  on  the  floor  of  the  tonneau,  just  where  he 
had  dropped  it. 

He  had  written  — "  Don't  send  me  home.  Bury 
me  in  China."  It  was  dated,  and  signed.  The 
Consul-General  thought  this  over  and  finally  sug- 
gested a  temporary  interment  at  Tientsin,  unless 
Mrs.  Crocker  should  have  other  plans.  He  said 
that  the  matter  of  a  lot  could  easily  be  arranged. 

Hindmann  told  me  at  dinner  that  the  Consul- 
General  is  perplexed  over  Heloise's  standing  in  the 

291 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

matter.  While  outwardly  he  is  considerate  to  a 
fault,  he  explained  privately  to  Hindmann  that  he 
can  not  recognize  her  in  any  official  way.  He  is 
going  to  send  Crocker's  effects  home  under  seal, 
for  the  courts  to  dispose  of  as  they  may  decide. 
He  suggests  that  Heloise  employ  counsel  to  look 
after  her  interest  in  his  property.  There  is,  of 
course,  no  hurry  about  this;  it  will  be  a  year,  or 
two,  or  three,  before  the  estate  can  be  wound  up. 

Hindmann  was  right  about  the  newspaper  cor- 
respondents. It  seems  that  several  of  the  largest 
American  papers  have  their  own  men  here.  The 
great  news  agencies  are  represented,  of  course. 
And  all  these  men  got  at  us  to-day. 

I  find  this  experience  perhaps  the  most  disturb- 
ing of  all.  They  are  very  insistent,  these  reporters. 
They  make  me  curiously  uncomfortable.  Under- 
lying all  their  questions  is  a  morbid  eagerness  to 
uncover  a  sensation,  to  make  their  "  stories  "  as 
thrilling  as  possible.  Several  of  them,  I  think, 
firmly  believe  that  Crocker  was  murdered.  They 
have  picked  up  something  of  his  recent  history. 
They  know  that  he. was  pursuing  Heloise,  and  that 
he  was  drinking.  Fortunately,  none  of  them  ap- 
pears to  connect  me  with  the  story  in  any  intimate 
way.  They  are  all  on  the  trail  of  that  other  man, 
the  man  with  whom  she  came  to  China.  I  realized 

292 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

to-day  the  curious  fact  that  I  do  not  so  much  as 
know  the  name  of  that  man.  I  am  glad  I  don't. 

But  they  will  have  to  accept  our  version,  I  be- 
lieve —  the  simple  fact  that  Crocker  took  his  own 
life  in  a  fit  of  despondency.  There  are  only  seven 
persons  alive  who  know  further  details,  and  only 
four  who  know  the  whole  story. 

Two  of  the  reporters  forced  their  way  to  Hel- 
oise  this  evening.  It  was  just  after  eight.  I  was 
in  the  lounge,  waiting  for  Hindmann.  I  could  n't 
bear  to  think  of  dinner,  but  was  trying  to  drink 
some  coffee  and  eat  a  little  toast.  The  usual  even- 
ing crowd  was  swarming  about  me,  talking  every 
language  under  the  sun.  A  China  boy  brought  a 
chit.  It  was  just  a  line  asking  me  if  I  could  come 
upstairs,  signed  "  H." 

I  went  up  instantly. 

The  management  had  given  her  the  use  of  a 
small  suite  on  the  second  floor.  The  door  to  her 
parlor  was  ajar,  and  I  heard  voices.  I  knocked, 
and  she  called  to  me  to  come  in. 

There  were  the  two  reporters,  hats  in  hand. 
Heloise  was  standing  by  the  table.  She  was  pale, 
but  very  erect  and  composed.  She  had  put  on  a 
black  tailored  suit.  It  was  this,  perhaps,  that  em- 
phasized the  ivory  whiteness  of  her  skin,  and  sub- 
dued the  blue  in  her  eyes. 

293 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  think  she  saw  on  my  face  indications  that  I 
was  about  to  speak  indiscreetly.  For  I  was.  The 
sight  of  the  reporters  in  that  room,  trying  to  pin 
Heloise  down  to  the  details  of  this  dreadful  story, 
angered  me.  But  before  I  could  utter  a  word  she 
took  command  of  the  situation. 

"  Forgive  me  for  calling  you  in  this  peremptory 
way,  Mr.  Eckhart,"  she  said,  "  but  I  cannot  talk 
to  these  men.  You  were  good  enough  to  offer  to 
help,  and,  since  I  am  alone  here,  I  am  forced  to 
take  you  at  your  word."  Then  she  turned  to  the 
reporters,  adding,  "  Mr.  Eckhart  knew  my  hus- 
band. You  will  please  talk  with  him." 

Her  voice  was  steady ;  but  my  quick  eye  caught 
a  familiar,  listless  gesture  of  her  left  hand  as  she 
finished. 

"  But,  Mrs.  Crocker,"  persisted  the  older  man, 
"  it  has  been  said  that  — " 

I  threw  the  door  wide,  and  sprang  directly  in 
front  of  Heloise,  facing  the  reporter. 

"Get  out!"  I  said. 

He  frowned,  but  backed  toward  the  door,  as  I 
advanced  on  him.  Thus  I  got  them  out  into  the 
corridor.  I  was  all  ablaze.  But  at  the  door  I 
turned  for  one  brief  glance  at  Heloise.  Her  lips 
were  compressed.  She  gave  me  a  swift  look  of 
warning.  This  steadied  me.  I  closed  the  door, 
294 


Get  out,"  I  said 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

and  walked  down  the  corridor  after  the  reporters. 

"  Come  downstairs/'  I  said,  "  and  ask  your 
questions  of  me." 

So  I  myself  came  nearer  to  an  outbreak  than 
have  any  of  the  others.  But  I  shall  not  lose  my 
head  again.  And  after  one  or  two  days,  Hind- 
mann  tells  me,  the  news  value  of  the  episode  will 
have  flattened  out,  and  they  will  let  us  alone. 


297 


April  i6th.    Morning. 

WE  are  going  down  to  Tientsin  on  the  fore- 
noon train  for  the  funeral.  Then  back 
here  before  night. 

Heloise  herself  has  seen  to  all  the  little  necessary 
arrangements.  She  had  me  get  what  few  flowers 
I  could  last  night.  And  I  believe  we  can  get  more 
in  Tientsin.  She  wants  to  do  everything  she  can 
for  his  memory  in  these  last  hours. 

I  think  she  is  very  fine  about  it.  She  exhibits 
no  weakness.  She  shrinks  neither  from  what  she 
regards  as  her  duty  in  this  tragic  time  nor  from 
the  results  of  her  own  acts.  It  has  all  come  back 
to  her,  of  course,  in  a  thousand  memory-shapes. 
It  must  have.  But  she  does  not  speak  of  that. 

The  Minister  sent  over  a  large  bunch  of  lilac 
blossoms  last  night,  cut  from  the  bushes  in  the 
Legation  compound. 


298 


April  i?th. 

WE  came  back  to  Peking  on  the  late  after- 
noon train  —  Heloise,   Hindmann  and  I. 
But  Hindmann  stayed  in  the  smoking  car  most  of 
the  way. 

Heloise  and  I  sat  in  our  compartment  without 
saying  much  of  anything.  The  sober  spell  of  the 
funeral  service  was  on  us  both.  I  bought  some 
magazines  at  Tientsin,  and  laid  them  on  the  seat 
close  to  her  hand.  She  picked  one  up,  and  turned 
the  pages,  but  without  much  interest.  In  a  few 
moments  she  laid  it  aside.  Most  of  the  way  she 
rested  her  head  back  in  the  corner  of  the  seat  and 
watched  the  little  brick  stations  flit  by,  and  the 
Chinese  farms  with  their  mud-walled  compounds. 

After  a  time  I  went  forward  and  joined  Hind- 
mann. I  thought  Heloise  would  be  glad  of  a  little 
solitude.  Then  there  was  a  chance  that  she  might 
sleep  a  little.  But  I  don't  believe  she  did,  for  when 
I  looked  in  on  her,  half  an  hour  later,  she  was 
sitting  forward,  chin  on  hand,  studying  the  flat 
brown  countryside  with  its  occasional  squares  of 
green  millet-spears. 

299 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

She  gave  me  a  faint  smile. 

"  Don't  go  away  again,"  she  said,  her  eyes  back 
on  the  brown  and  green  fields  and  the  dingy  gray 
compounds. 

And  since  she  was  not  looking  at  me,  and  seemed 
not  to  expect  a  reply,  I  just  dropped  down  opposite 
her  and  myself  gazed  out  the  window. 

After  a  little  she  spoke  again,  with  some  un- 
certainty in  her  voice. 

"  I  '11  move  my  things  back  to  our  little  hotel  — 
first,  Anthony." 

I  must  have  shaken  my  head,  for  she  added, 
more  resolutely  — 

"  I  must,  Anthony." 

"  It  would  be  trying  for  you  to  stay  on  at  the 
Wagon-lits,  of  course,"  I  began. 

"  It  is  n't  only  that,"  said  she ;  then  stopped. 

It  was  not  only  that,  of  course.  The  poor  child 
was,  is,  penniless.  But  this  was  something  I  could 
not  talk  about.  For  the  first  time  in  many  days 
there  was  an  awkwardness  between  us.  Certainly 
I  felt  it,  and  I  think  she  did.  We  could  n't  quite 
think  out  what  to  say.  We  had  been  in  the  pres- 
ence of  death,  and  love  seemed  a  petty,  selfish  thing. 
And  back  of  this,  something  had  happened  that  I 
don't  quite  understand  now.  We  have  no  longer 
the  poignantly  intimate  sense  of  apartness  from 
300 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  world  that  we  had  during  those  strange,  won- 
derful days  at  the  Hotel  de  Chine.  The  world  has 
thrust  itself  between  us.  I  can  see  now  that  we 
were  a  million  miles  away  from  actual  life,  over 
there  in  our  two  little  rooms  with  the  shrunken 
door  between.  We  did  not  know  it  then;  but  we 
were.  We  have  become  self-conscious.  Many 
things  flitted  into  my  mind  to  say,  but  I  could  not 
say  them.  They  were  all  unpleasantly  flavored 
with  Consuls-General,  and  big,  noisy  hotels,  and 
newspapers,  and  legal  disputes.  It  was  depressing 
to  think  that  we  could  no  longer  slip  unnoticed 
about  the  quaint,  barbaric  old  city.  We  are  known 
now ;  conspicuous,  even. 

And  woven  through  all  these  thoughts,  deep  in 
our  common  consciousness,  hovered  that  brooding 
mystery  of  death. 

"  All  right,  Heloise,"  said  I,  "  we  will  get  your 
bags  back  to-night.  The  first  thing.  And  we 
won't  hurry  about  straightening  out  our  plans. 
Wait  a  few  days,  until  you  feel  more  like  facing 
things.  What  you  need  now,  I  think,  is  some 
rest." 

She  shook  her  head.     "  I  don't  need  rest,  An- 
thony.    Goodness  knows  I  have  strength  enough 
for  six  women.     I  can  face  things.     No,  let 's  plan 
now.     What  do  you  want  me  to  do  ?  " 
301 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  sat  there  for  several  long  moments,  trying  to 
think  how  to  say  it.  I  remember  that  I  rubbed 
my  forefinger  back  and  forth  along  the  window- 
sill,  through  the  dust,  and  followed  it  intently  with 
my  eyes. 

Finally  she  asked,  still  gazing  out  the  win- 
dow— 

"  Do  you  think  I  ought  to  go  to  Paris,  An- 
thony?" 

I  nodded.  Then,  as  she  was  not  looking  at  me, 
said— "Yes,  I  do." 

"  But  how,  Anthony  ?  How  on  earth  can  I  ? 
Everything  is  mixed  now." 

"  I  know,"  said  I.  "  But  I  Ve  been  thinking 
that  out.  We  can  'do  it." 

"  Yes,"  said  she ;  "  but  don't  you  see  — " 

It  was  not  becoming  easier.  So  I  broke  out  with 
my  conclusions : 

"  In  its  essentials,  dear,  our  plan  is  not  changed 
at  all." 

"  That 's  absurd,  Anthony!  " 

"  No.  What  has  happened  has  merely  deferred 
the  payment  of  that  money.  Ultimately  it  will 
have  to  come  to  you.  Something,  surely.  I  will 
advance  it."  She  moved  restlessly.  I  hurried  on. 
"  You  will  give  me  your  note  and  an  assignment  of 
your  claim  on  the  estate.  I  —  I  will  charge  you 

302 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

interest,  Heloise.  It  will  be  perfectly  businesslike. 
These  things  are  done  every  day.  Really." 

It  was  no  good  talking  on.  She  had  turned  her 
face  away,  and,  under  pretext  of  resting  it  on  her 
hand,  was  hiding  it  from  me.  I  forgot  what  she 
had  said  about  not  leaving  her  again,  and  stumbled 
out  of  the  compartment  and  went  back  to  Hind- 
mann. 

I  did  not  return  until  he  told  me  that  we  were 
approaching  the  outskirts  of  Peking. 

She  smiled,  as  she  had  before.  Then  I  helped 
her  on  with  her  coat,  and  gathered  up  the  maga- 
zines. We  stood  there,  awkwardly. 

Finally  I  said  — "  Well,  we  are  n't  quite  there 
yet.  We  may  as  well  sit  again." 

Then  the  train  slowed  down,  and  dallied  along 
by  jerky  stages. 

"  Anthony,"  said  she,  "  I  've  been  thinking  .  .  . 
you  never  saw  him  in  his  younger  days.  He  was  a 
very  likeable  man,  dear.  He  got  on  with  people,. 
And  he  was  a  good  business  man.  Big  and  bluff, 
you  know,  and  strong.  I  —  I  've  been  thinking  — 
we  should  n't  have  married,  he  and  I.  That  was  a 
mistake.  I  was  too  young  to  know  what  marriage 
means.  And  he  was  very  positive.  But  I  can't 
help  wishing  you  had  seen  him  —  before.  I  really 
think  you  would  have  liked  him,  Anthony.  Strong 
303 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

men  always  did.  .  .  .  You  don't  think  it  strange 
of  me?" 

"  Heloise,  dear,"  said  I,  "  I  've  been  thinking 
the  same  strange  thoughts.  I  did  like  him.  He 
never  really  knew  what  he  was  doing.  Even  after 
what  happened  —  what  he  tried  to  do  —  I  have  n't 
been  able  to  feel  any  hatred.  No,  not  even  anger. 
Nothing  but  a  queer  sort  of  sorrow." 

"  Oh,  Anthony,"  she  breathed,  her  eyes  shining. 
"  Do  you  feel  that  way?  " 

Then  she  said  — "  I  've  wanted  to  ask  you.  .  .  . 
It 's  difficult  .  .  .  did  he  know  about  —  us,  An- 
thony?" 

I  could  n't  say  much  now.     But  I  nodded. 

Her  eyes  were  on  mine;  her  lips  were  parted. 
"  You  told  him,  Anthony  ?  " 

I  nodded  again. 

"  Oh,"  she  cried  softly  —  with  immense  relief 
on  her  dear  face  — "  oh,  Anthony,  I  'm  so  glad. 
Because  he  never  could  have  felt  in  that  terrible 
way  toward  you.  He  did  n't,  Anthony,  did  he  ?  " 

I  shook  my  head. 

The  train  rolled  into  the  station-shadows,  and 
stopped. 

"  Because,"  she  was  saying  in  my  ear,  as  we 
moved  slowly  out  into  the  corridor,  "  hard  as  he 
was  sometimes,  and  positive,  and  all  shaken  and 

304 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

tortured,  even  he  knew  the  real  things  when  he 
found  them,  Anthony.  It  would  have  hurt  him, 
but  he  would  have  been  fair  —  once  he  could  really 
get  it  clear  .  .  ."  And  she  whispered,  right  there 
in  the  corridor  of  the  car,  with  passengers  crowd- 
ing behind  us  and  before  — "  I  'm  so  glad  he  knew 
it  was  you!" 

Hindmann  tells  me  that  we  passed  Sir  Robert 
to-day  in  the  railway  station  at  Tientsin.  It  seems 
that  that  old  man  and  I  actually  brushed  sleeves. 

I  did  n't  know  this.  Did  n't  see  him  at  all,  in 
fact.  But  Hindmann  says  he  looked  straight  at 
me,  without  the  slightest  sign  of  recognition  —  first 
at  Heloise  and  then  at  me. 

He  had  a  young  woman  with  him ;  a  rather  good- 
looking  girlish  person,  very  thin,  but  "  with  a  way 
about  her."  Hindmann  has  seen  her  before.  He 
thinks  she  ran  a  gambling  club  in  Macao  when  he 
was  last  on  the  Coast. 

Sir  Robert  himself  impressed  him  as  looking  ex- 
tremely old  and  not  a  little  feeble,  with  a  slight 
paralysis  that  has  twisted  his  face  up  curiously  on 
the  left  side. 

I  am  glad  I  did  not  see  him.  I  hope  I  never 
shall. 


305 


Grand  Hotel  des  Wagon-lits. 

April  ijth.     Later. 

1  HELPED  Heloise  get  her  things  back  to  our 
little  hotel  last  night.  Then  I  packed  a  bag 
and  came  over  here  and  took  a  room. 

She  did  n't  say  anything  when  I  told  her  I  was 
going  to  do  this.  But  I  am  sure  she  realizes  that 
it  is  the  only  thing  to  do.  It  disturbs  me  to  think 
of  her  alone  over  there.  But  now  that  she  is 
known  to  half  the  white  people  in  Peking,  I  will 
not  permit  myself  to  stay  there  with  her.  I  will 
not  have  her  talked  about  on  any  new  grounds. 
And  now  that  I  am  beginning  to  understand  her,  I 
see  clearly  enough  that  I  must  protect  her.  Lately 
it  has  seemed  to  me  that  none  of  the  more  artificial 
restraints  that  society  accepts  as  necessary  details 
of  a  working  code  mean  much  to  her. 

I  begin  to  think  that  in  certain  fine  ways  women 
are  more  primitive  than  men.  In  the  sense,  I 
mean,  that  their  deeper  emotional  nature  lies  closer 
to  the  roots  of  life  than  ours  does.  They  are  more 
elementally  natural,  harder  to  sophisticate.  They 
feel  more  swiftly  and  surely,  without  the  elaborate 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

intellectual  machinery  that  men  find  it  necessary 
to  call  into  use  in  order  to  arrive  at  conclusions. 
In  certain  respects  they  are  deeper  and  bigger  than 
we  are. 

I  have  read  all  this  in  the  books,  of  course  — 
years  ago  —  but  never  before  believed  it  in  the 
sense  that  belief  implies  personal  experience  and 
understanding. 


307 


April  i8th.     Morning. 
(At  the  Wagon-lits}. 

YES,  I  was  right  in  moving  over  here.  Hel- 
oise  admitted  it  to-day.  I  asked  her  if  she 
did  n't  a|free  with  me,  and  she  said  she  had  come 
to  think  that  my  judgment  is  better  than  hers 
in  these  matters.  God  knows,  I  am  unworldly 
enough  —  sometimes  I  feel  that  she  and  I  are  noth- 
ing but  a  couple  of  babes  in  the  woods  of  life  — 
but  at  least  I  am  a  bit  more  worldly  than  she. 

And  I  was  right  in  insisting  that  we  go  right  on 
with  our  plan,  as  if  nothing  had  happened.  I  have 
forced  myself  to  go  over  the  whole  difficult  busi- 
ness, thinking  it  out  step  by  step ;  and  I  was  right. 

It  is  a  difficult  business.  Sometimes,  at  night, 
when  my  imagination  slips  out  of  control  and 
dream-pictures  come  of  a  home  of  my  own,  it  is 
almost  more  than  I  can  bear.  Last  night  I  had  to 
switch  on  the  lights  and  work  until  daylight  over 
the  notes  for  Volume  Six.  (That  is  to  be  the  sec- 
tion devoted  to  "  True  Intervals  and  Natural 
Song.") 

I  am  driving  myself  to  think  constantly  of  the 
308 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

other  side  of  the  picture  —  to  realize  how  beautiful 
Heloise  is,  what  a  person  she  is  and  what  a  voice 
she  has.  No  home  that  I  could  conceivably  offer 
her  would  be  large  enough  to  contain  her  life. 
And  when  I  construct  in  my  mind  the  years  during 
which  she  would  have  to  fight  her  own  inclinations, 
deliberately  confine  her  activities  and  build  barriers 
against  the  growth  of  her  own  soul,  my  resolution 
strengthens.  If  it  is  hard  to  give  her  up  now,  it 
would  be  impossible  then.  I  know  myself  well 
enough  to  know  what  I  should  be  and  do,  then.  I 
would  be  jealous  of  her  very  bigness.  I  would, 
likely  as  not,  come  to  hate  her  beauty,  her  voice, 
her  capacity  for  work.  I  would  fight  to  make  a 
Haus frau  of  her,  with  babies,  and  meals  to  get  — 
meals  for  me !  —  and  sweeping  and  dusting  to  look 
after.  And  then,  should  I  succeed  in  that  miser- 
able purpose;  should  I  have  to  realize,  every  day 
and  every  night,  with  her  beauty  fading  and  with 
that  wonderful  edge  on  her  voice  becoming  blunted 
and  the  tones  growing  uneven  and  foggy,  that  I  had 
shut  her  out  of  the  chance  for  growth  that  God 
gave  her  —  this,  after  she  had  already  taken  one 
desperate,  tragic  step  toward  freedom  —  should  I 
find  myself  forced  to  live,  day  after  day,  year  after 
year,  with  any  such  realization  as  that,  I  think  the 
time  would  come  when  I  would  want  to  kill  myself. 

309 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

The  man  who  deliberately  stops  a  woman's 
growth  —  no  matter  what  his  traditions  and  be- 
liefs ;  no  matter  what  his  fears  for  her  —  is  doing 
a  monstrous  thing,  a  thing  for  which  he  must  some 
day  answer  to  the  God  of  all  life. 

As  civilization  stands  now,  the  woman  who 
marries  shuts  herself  out  from  the  possibility  of  a 
career.  Not  in  every  instance,  of  course ;  but  cer- 
tainly in  such  an  average,  modest  marriage  as  mine 
would  have  to  be.  I  have  some  means,  of  course ; 
but  not  nearly  enough.  And  it  is  not  likely  that  I 
shall  ever  "  make  "  money  in  any  large  way. 

No,  I  really  don't  believe  the  thing  can  be  done. 
Not  yet.  I  like  to  hope  that  some  day  the  world 
will  become  more  nearly  civilized  as  regards  mar- 
riage. But  first  we  must  make  it  less  a  matter  of 
land  and  houses  and  goods,  and  of  woman  as  prop- 
erty along  with  these.  And  I  think  we  shall  prob- 
ably come  to  some  system  of  paying  woman  di- 
rectly for  the  great  service  of  child-bearing  and 
rearing.  Yes,  we  men  must  give  up  the  last  shreds 
of  our  thought  of  woman  as  a  personal  possession. 
We  are  farther  from  that,  still,  than  we  realize,  I 
think.  I  myself  am  far,  far  from  it.  Where  Hel- 
oise  is  concerned,  I  know  perfectly  well  that  I  am 
not  to  be  trusted.  God  only  knows  what  I  would 
do,  what  I  would  come  to  think  and  believe.  For 

310 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  magic  that  is  always  between  us  would  be  con- 
fused in  a  thousand  subtle  ways  with  the  heritage 
of  deep-lying  racial  habits  that  are  in  me  as  in  every 
other  man. 

But  at  least,  I  have  come  to  see  it.     For  this  I 
am  thankful. 


Late  Afternoon, 
(still  the  i8th.) 

HELOISE  understands  now.  And  she  agrees 
that  I  am  right.  She  will  accept  the  loan  I 
suggested.  And  she  will  go  to  Paris. 

She  called  up  this  afternoon  —  while  I  was  writ- 
ing. 

"  Anthony,"  she  said,  "  take  me  for  a  walk. 
It 's  stuffy  here.  I  want  some  air." 

So  she  started  out,  and  I  met  her  near  the  east- 
ern end  of  Legation  Street. 

"  Just  a  little  walk,  Anthony,"  she  said.  "  I  'm 
not  getting  any  exercise  these  days.  I  don't  seem 
to  want  to  go  out  alone  any  more.  .  .  .  Up  on 
the  wall,  Anthony,  where  we  can  feel  the  wind. 
And  there  won't  be  so  much  dust." 

So  we  climbed  the  ramp,  and  walked  from  the 
Hatamen  to  the  Chienmen  and  back  —  two  miles. 
South  of  us  extended  the  Chinese  city,  that  lies 
outside  the  historic  stronghold  of  the  Manchus. 
Northward,  as  far  as  we  could  see,  stretched  the 
Tartar  capital,  now  all  fresh  green  foliage  with 
312 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

bits  of  curving  tile  roofs  peeping  out  in  gray-brown 
patches.  For  Peking  is  a  city  of  trees. 

We  could  see  the  brick  walls  of  the  Imperial 
City,  and,  within  that,  of  the  Forbidden  City  itself; 
with  its  acres  of  glazed  yellow  roofs. 

The  Tartar  wall  is  all  of  fifty  feet  high,  and 
nearly  as  broad  on  the  top.  Grass  grows  there; 
and  there  are  parapets,  and  the  casual  ruins  of 
stone  barricades  where  men  have  fought. 

I  told  Heloise,  while  we  walked,  that  I  had 
worked  it  all  out.  I  told  her,  too,  of  a  curious 
coincidence  of  this  very  morning.  I  picked  up  a 
magazine  in  the  hotel  lounge,  and,  turning  the 
pages,  found  my  attention  arrested  by  an  interview 
with  some  great  singers.  In  that  paper  the  three 
finest  living  operatic  sopranos  agreed  that  mar- 
riage, home,  domesticity,  could  play  no  part  in 
their  lives. 

I  felt  it  my  duty  to  tell  her  about  this.  We 
simply  have  got  to  face  these  facts.  And  I  must 
help  keep  up  her  courage  with  my  own.  Once  she 
finds  herself  established  at  Paris,  her  work  going 
on,  the  stimulus  of  new  acquaintances  and  of  fine 
music  and  of  the  stir  and  rush  of  the  Western 
World  all  about  her,  it  will  not  be  so  hard,  I  think. 
At  present,  the  loneliness,  the  sense  of  distance 
from  her  own  kind,  and  the  perplexing  reactions 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

of  the  tragedy  that  we  have  both  had  to  pass 
through,  combine  to  bring  her  deep  emotional  self 
closer  to  the  surface  than  normal. 

Then,  of  course,  she  is  quite  dependent  on  me. 
We  do  not  speak  of  this;  but  I  know  well  enough 
that  it  is  every  moment  in  her  thoughts. 

We  did'  not  stay  out  long.  It  is  most  difficult 
when  we  are  together.  I  am  going  to  start  my 
own  work  at  once.  It  is  the  only  way  to  keep 
steady  —  I  can  see  that.  I  have  letters  to  the 
American  Minister.  I  shall  present  them  to- 
morrow. 

We  lingered  at  the  door  of  her  hotel.  Neither 
of  us  wanted  to  say  good-by.  We  stood  there 
for  several  moments  without  speaking.  Then  she 
said: 

"  Will  you  come  in  ?  " 

I  shook  my  head. 

She  took  a  few  slow  steps  into  the  doorway; 
then  stopped. 

"  I  shall  not  change,  Anthony  —  in  Paris !  "  she 
said,  and  hurried  in  without  looking  back. 

I  have  succeeded  in  getting  reservations  for  her 
on  the  Trans-Siberian,  leaving  Harbin  on  the  23rd. 
That  means  starting  from  Peking  on  the  2ist  —  in 
three  days. 

3H 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

She  says  that  she  will  not  mind  the  long  journey 
alone.  I  wish  I  knew  of  some  American  or  Eng- 
lish family  that  is  going  through  to  Moscow  on 
that  train.  But  I  feel  pretty  sure  that  she  will 
make  the  acquaintance  of  some  fairly  congenial 
group  of  tourists. 

Sometimes  I  think  of  troubles  that  may  come  to 
her  in  case  she  should  meet  with  no  such  good  for- 
tune ;  and  then  my  head  becomes  hot  and  I  have  to 
clench  my  hands  and  walk  out  in  the  air.  There 
will  be  men  of  course  —  and  ten  long  days  of  that 
train !  Certain  ugly  phrases  of  Sir  Robert's  float 
to  the  surface  of  my  thoughts  and  stay  there  to  ir- 
ritate me.  I  can't  help  dwelling  a  little  on  the 
sinister  code  of  the  white  men  who  travel  in  the 
East. 

But  it  is  no  good  thinking  of  these  things.  Hel- 
oise  says  they  are  only  the  chances  of  life,  and  that 
we  have  to  take  those.  "  And  Anthony,"  she 
added  to-day,  "  they  can  annoy  me,  but  they  can't 
hurt  me  —  they  can't  make  any  difference." 


315 


April  iQth.     Noon. 

I   SENT  one  of  my  letters  of  introduction  to  the 
American  Minister  to-day,  by  coolie. 

He  replied  at  once,  with  a  cordial  chit  asking  me 
to  tea  this  afternoon. 

I  find  that  Hindmann  knows  him,  and  has 
spoken  of  me  to  him.  It  turns  out  that  the  Min- 
ister regards  himself  as  something  of  an  amateur 
in  Chinese  music.  He  knew  my  name. 

"  He  showed  me  a  big  book,"  said  Hindmann, 
in  telling  me  about  it,  last  night.  "  Had  a  lot  of 
queer  music  scales  in  it,  and  pictures  of  instru- 
ments. He  said  it  was  the  standard  authority  on 
the  subject." 

"What  book?"  I  asked  him. 

"  Don't  remember  the  title,"  said  he. 

"But  think,  man!     Think!     Who  wrote  it?" 

"  Did  n't  notice  that,  either.  Some  German, 
though." 

"  That  can  not  be,"  said  I,  with  some  excite- 
ment, I  will  admit.  "  Neither  Boag  nor  von 
Stumbostel  is  within  five  years  of  publishing  the 
results  of  his  researches.  I  am  nearer  it  than  they 

316 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

My  first  volume,  '  The  Origins  of  Musical  Sound,' 
stands  now  in  galley  proof  and  will  be  published 
within  two  years.  No,  no,  no !  There  is  no  Ger- 
man work  that  is  the  authority  on  primitive  music. 
There  is,  as  yet,  no  authoritative  work.  Van 
Haalst,  Elton,  Pere  Avard,  and  twenty  others, 
merely  pointed  the  way.  All  of  them  pointed  the 
way  wrong  in  certain  important  respects.  No,  if 
there  is  an  authority,  it  is  myself.  I  am  the  stand- 
ard authority.  The  Minister  does  not  know  what 
he  is  talking  about." 

Hindmann  grinned. 

"  Seems  to  me,"  he  observed,  "  it  was  published 
at  Bonn." 

"At  Bonn!"  I  shouted  at  him— "At  Bonn!" 

"  Yes  —  I  'm  sure  it  was  Bonn." 

"  It  was  not  the  book  of  von  Westfall  ?  " 

"  That 's  it,"  said  he,  nodding.  "  That 's  the 
guy  —  von  Westfall." 

So  the  influence  of  that  scoundrel  has  pene- 
trated to  Peking!  He  has  actually  got  himself 
regarded  as  an  "  authority " !  I  did  n't  know 
what  to  say  or  think.  But  Hindmann  calmed  me 
down  a  good  deal.  He  has  a  steadying  influence 
on  me,  anyway. 

"  You  need  n't  sputter  at  me,"  he  said.  "  I 
did  n't  write  it." 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  I  know,"  said  I.  "  But  I  was  not  thinking  of 
you.  I  do  not  know  what  to  do.  I  was  to  have 
had  tea  with  the  Minister  to-day." 

"  Well,"  remarked  Hindmann,  around  his  cigar, 
"why  not?" 

"Why  not?"  I  repeated.  "It  is  impossible. 
This  man  will  wish  to  talk  my  subject  —  my  sub- 
ject !  —  with  the  work  of  that  charlatan  at  his  el- 
bow. No,  I  will  not  talk  with  him.  I  can  not. 
Don't  you  see  ?  " 

"  No,"  said  Hindmann,  "  not  exactly." 

"  I  am  at  once  placed  in  competition  with  one 
that  I  know  to  be  an  absolute  impostor.  The 
Minister  will  take  seriously  what  he  regards  as  his 
own  views.  But  they  will  not  be  his  own  —  they 
will  be  the  views  of  von  Westfall.  Don't  you 
see  ?  I  can't  go !  " 

Hindmann  sat  for  a  little  while,  smoking  and 
thinking.  He  has  a  very  comfortable  way  of  set- 
tling his  plump  person  into  a  big  arm-chair. 

"  Look  here,"  he  said.  "  You  want  to  go  over 
there.  It 's  worth  doing." 

I  'm  afraid  I  sniffed  at  this. 

"  But  it  is,"  he  went  on.  "  So  what  you  want 
to  do  is  to  go  right  ahead  with  it.  Don't  be  licked 
by  a  book." 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

He  didn't  quite  understand  me  there.  I  was 
not  "  licked  "  at  all,  and  I  told  him  so. 

"  Prove  it  by  going,  then,"  he  said. 

"  But  I  'm  afraid  I  shall  insult  him.  I  shall 
have  to  say  what  I  believe." 

"  Go  ahead  and  insult  him,  then,"  said  he ;  and 
he  took  out  his  cigar  and  grinned  cheerfully. 


319 


Same  date. 

I  GOT  Hindmann  to  help  me  out  with  the  notes 
and  the  assignment  of  her  interest  in  the 
estate. 

He  knows  all  about  these  things.  He  got  blank 
note  forms  from  the  manager  of  the  hotel.  And 
he  himself  dictated  the  assignment  paper  to  a  Jap- 
anese stenographer.  It  was  astonishing  to  me  to 
hear  him  do  this ;  on  matters  of  legal  phraseology, 
and  where  precise  statement  of  fact  is  required, 
he  is  very  clear-headed.  But  then,  I  suppose  that 
my  peculiar  faculties  would  be  equally  surprising 
and  interesting  to  him. 

The  document  worried  me  a  good  deal.  It  is 
quite  long;  and  it  makes  over  to  me,  in  the  most 
unequivocal  language,  Heloise's  entire  interest  in 
the  property.  It  is  worded  harshly  and  sharply. 
Just  reading  it,  I  had  the  unpleasant  feeling  that 
I  was  forcing  her  to  sign  away  to  me  everything 
she  may  possess  in  the  world  as  security  for  a 
paltry  loan. 

"What's  the  matter  with  it?"  asked  Hind- 
mann, watching  my  face. 

320 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

"  It  has  such  a  horribly  ironclad  look,"  said  I. 

"  Then  why  make  her  sign  it?  " 

"  Because  she  'd  never  in  the  world  accept  the 
money,  any  other  way." 

"  Oh,"  said  he,  very  thoughtful. 

"  Look  here,"  I  suggested,  "  could  n't  you  mod- 
ify it  a  little?  Make  it  not  quite  so  strong?  " 

He  shook  his  head.  "  It 's  the  regular  legal 
form,  Eckhart.  I  've  had  to  do  this  sort  of  thing- 
half  a  dozen  times."  He  smoked  a  little.  "  I  sup- 
pose you  know  it  isn't  worth  a  hang." 

"Not  worth  anything?" 

"  Poorest  security  in  the  world.  It  won't  be 
even  partly  binding  until  the  executor  of  the  estate 
has  pledged  himself  to  you  to  execute  the  agree- 
ment, and  to  accept  personal  responsibility  in  the 
matter.  Full  of  holes,  that  thing  is." 

I  did  n't  dare  let  him  know  how  my  heart  jumped 
at  this.  I  am  glad  it  is  n't  binding.  I  only  wish 
it  didn't  look  so  ugly.  I  can't  bear  to  think  of 
watching  her  face  when  she  reads  it.  I  fear  it  will 
depress  her.  And  she  will  have  to  struggle  to 
conceal  her  depression. 

I  have  figured  it  out  that  I  can  spare  a  thousand 

dollars  from  my  letter  of  credit  now.     So  that  all 

she  will  have  to  do  is  to  sign  that  document  and 

one  note  for  a  thousand  dollars.     Then  when  I 

321 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

send  her  the  next  draft  I  need  only  enclose  a  new 
note  for  her  signature.  At  Hindmann's  sugges- 
tion I  am  going  to  draw  each  note  to  run  a  rela- 
tively short  time  —  a  year,  say.  Then  I  can  look 
after  the  renewing  of  them  myself,  from  time  to 
time. 

The  thousand  dollars  that  I  let  her  have  now  will 
of  course  have  to  come  out  of  my  research  money, 
which  is  really  not  mine  at  all.  But  at  the  same 
time  that  I  write  Harbury,  of  the  Foundation,  to 
sell  my  real  estate  bonds  and  the  two  railway  bonds 
that  are  at  the  Trust  Company,  I  shall  ask  him  to 
notify  the  Committee  that  I  have  diverted  this 
amount  for  personal  use  and  request  him  to  hold 
back  an  equal  amount  from  this  money  of  my  own 
that  he  will  be  sending  me,  against  the  draft  on 
my  letter  of  credit.  Hindmann  has  drawn  up 
just  the  paper  for  me  to  send  Harbury,  giving  him 
complete  power  to  dispose  of  the  properties  for 
me.  Really,  I  don't  know  what  I  should  have 
done  in  all  these  financial  complications  without 
that  fat  man. 

One  thing  I  am  very  glad  of.  It  is  n't  going 
to  pinch  me  at  all  to  do  this  for  Heloise.  My  sal- 
ary will  go  right  on,  of  course;  and  the  research 
fund  will  be  there  as  before.  I  shan't  even  have 
to  skimp  on  hotels  and  small  purchases.  To  tell 

322 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  truth,  I  was  worried,  a  little,  when  I  made 
that  offer  to  her  the  other  day.  I  did  n't  realize, 
at  the  moment,  how  much  money  I  have,  and  how 
easy  it  is  to  get  at.  This  way,  I  can  look  right 
into  her  eyes  and  tell  her  that  I  shall  not  be  the 
less  comfortable  for  one  single  hour;  and  I  can 
tell  her  with  such  conviction  that  she  will  know 
it  for  the  truth.  It  won't  be  nearly  so  hard  for 
her. 


323 


Same  date. 

I  CAN'T  take  those  papers  over.  I  just  can't. 
I  'm  going  to  send  them  by  messenger. 

I  'm  sending  the  money  too  —  in  gold  —  in  a 
bag.  A  thousand  dollars.  The  messenger  will 
have  instructions  to  remain  with  her,  and  carry 
the  money  to  the  Hongkong  bank  for  her,  in  order 
that  she  may  convert  the  greater  part  of  it  into 
traveler's  checks  or  a  letter  of  credit.  It  will  be 
best  for  me  not  to  appear  in  this  transaction,  of 
course. 

I  am  sending  it  to-day  because  surely  she  will 
have  little  purchases  to  make,  and  I  know  how 
irritating  it  is  to  a  person  of  spirit  to  be  dependent 
on  another  for  small  sums  of  money. 

I  did  not  foresee  how  deeply  it  would  stir  me 
to  do  this  little  thing.  It  has  roused  unfamiliar, 
haunting  thoughts  and  feelings  and  day  dreams. 
I  have  been  thinking  of  children,  and  of  the  won- 
derful pleasure  of  doing  for  them  and  making 
them  happy.  .  .  . 

This  will  not  do. 

I  am  going  over  to  the  Legation  now  for  tea. 
324 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  got  out  my  black  cutaway  coat  and  had  it  pressed. 
And  the  China  boy  has  smoothed  down  my  silk 
hat,  after  a  fashion.  I  shall  carry  the  gold-headed 
cane  that  was  given  me  by  my  seminar  students 
six  years  ago,  lacking  two  months.  It  was  a  curi- 
ous thing  for  them  to  do.  But  pleasing. 

Hindmann  had  the  right  idea,  as  usual. 

I  will  not  be  licked  by  a  book. 

And  I  shall  say  exactly  what  I  know  to  be  true. 
Not  in  a  quarrelsome  spirit,  of  course ;  but  straight 
out.  It  is  nothing  to  me  that  he  is  the  American 
Minister. 


325 


'Still  the  ipth.     Very  late. 

I  HAVE  been  greatly  surprised. 
When  I  was  shown  into  the  drawing-room 
at  the  Legation  residence,  the  Minister  himself 
greeted  me.  He  is  a  not  unattractive  man  —  past 
middle  life,  rather  stout,  with  many  of  the  fa- 
miliar mannerisms  of  the  prosperous  man  of  busi- 
ness who  has  reached  a  point  in  life  where  he  feels 
he  can  afford  to  indulge  and,  perhaps,  educate  the 
gentler  side  of  his  nature. 

I  suppose  his  present  position  is  a  reward  for 
generous  contributions  to  the  expenses  of  his  party. 
Though  I  should  personally  regard  it  as  a  punish- 
ment. 

He  and  his  lady  (a  person  of  some  real  charm) 
have  surrounded  themselves  with  attractive  ob- 
jects of  Oriental  art.  The  large  rug  in  the  draw- 
ing-room is  as  fine  an  example  of  Chinese  blue  and 
white  weaving  as  I  remember  having  seen.  I  had 
an  opportunity  —  when  the  Minister  stepped  out 
of  the  room  for  a  moment,  and  before  the  ladies 
came  in  —  of  turning  back  a  corner  and  counting 
the  threads.  They  ran  twenty  and  twenty-one  to 

326 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

the  inch,  using  my  thumb- joint  as  a  rough  meas- 
urement; which  is  pretty  close  weaving,  especially 
when  you  consider  that  the  rug  is  at  least  sixteen 
feet  by  twenty- four  in  size. 

The  chairs  and  tables  were  all  of  carved  black- 
wood  and  teak  stained  black,  very  elaborate,  and 
pleasing  in  an  ornate  way.  One  nest  of  tables, 
in  the  corner,  was  far  and  away  the  finest  example 
of  Chinese  carving  I  have  seen,  barring  small  ob- 
jects of  ivory  and  such,  where  the  work  is  all  on 
a  minute  scale  and  therefore  more  delicate  in  de- 
sign and  workmanship.  There  were  two  exqui- 
sitely carved  wooden  screens,  and  a  great  number 
of  small  vases,  each  on  its  wooden  stand.  The 
most  beautiful  objects  in  the  room  were  two  im- 
mense blue  and  white  vases,  standing  all  of  seven 
to  eight  feet  high  on  their  pedestals.  The  Min- 
ister says  they  are  of  the  Ming  period.  And  while 
he  did  not  exactly  speak  of  them  in  terms  of  money 
value,  as  \ve  Americans  are  prone  to  do,  he  did 
refer  casually  to  another  pair,  similar  to  these 
except  that  the  glaze  was  distinctly  inferior, 
that  sold  in  New  York  for  sixteen  thousand  dol- 
lars. 

I  mean  to  give  more  time  to  the  study  of  Chinese 
porcelains  later  on,  when  settled  down  in  my  work, 
as  well  as  to  the  history  of  their  painting  and  draw- 

327 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

ing.  The  early  musical  forms  of  a  people  are  so 
inextricably  linked  with  all  their  other  folk-habits 
that  one  must  understand  something  of  all  of  them 
in  order  to  arrive  at  a  really  thorough  knowledge 
of  any  one.  Otherwise  one  would  be  a  mere  nar- 
row-rut scientist,  like  an  oculist  who  gives  no 
thought  to  the  general  health  of  a  patient  or  the 
stomach  specialist  who  has  no  regard  for  the  con- 
dition of  the  teeth. 

I  fear  I  was  a  little  stiff  at  first,  even  severe, 
when  tea  was  served.  The  talk  was  general. 
But  I  could  not  forget  that  somewhere  on  that 
man's  shelves  stood  von  West  fall's  work.  Of 
course  though,  the  Minister  is  the  merest  dilettante. 
I  saw  that  right  away.  The  sort  of  man  who  uses 
his  money  to  build  up  an  atmosphere  of  under- 
standing and  refinement  about  himself,  without 
being  altogether  successful  at  it. 

Some  other  outsiders  had  come  in,  ladies  from 
the  hotel,  and  officers  of  the  Legation  Guard ;  and 
when  these  rose  to  go,  and  of  course  I  with  them, 
the  Minister  asked  me  to  stay.  He  led  me  to  his 
office,  seated  me  comfortably,  and  gave  me  a  cigar 
—  the  best  cigar,  in  fact,  I  have  smoked  since  land- 
ing at  Yokohama.  Out  here,  it  is  impossible  to 
get  much  besides  the  rather  rank  Manila  article 
that  comes  wrapped  in  tinfoil.  This  was  a  real 

328 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

Havana,  however,  carefully  preserved  in  a  humi- 
dor. Then  he  said : 

"  I  have  known  for  some  time  of  the  work  your 
Foundation  is  doing  in  the  study  of  primitive 
music,  Dr.  Eckhart.  And  it  is,  I  may  say,  a  sub- 
ject that  greatly  interests  me." 

I  would  not  speak  what  was  in  my  mind.  Not 
yet  —  for  he  had  not  yet  thrown  that  book  at  my 
head.  It  was  not  yet  the  time  to  insult  him.  It 
would  be  distinctly  unreasonable  to  insult  him  at 
this  stage.  So  I  inclined  my  head,  and  waited. 

"  I  have  read  some  of  the  older  works  on  the 
subject  of  Chinese  music  —  Van  Haalst,  Elton, 
Avard,  Pegrew,  and  so  on  —  and  have  looked  for- 
ward rather  eagerly  to  the  more  complete  results 
of  modern  research.  A  book  was  recommended 
to  me  when  I  was  home  last  year  —  a  book  by  von 
Westfall,  of  Bonn." 

I  smoked  hard  and  fast.     He  went  on : 

"  It  was  recommended  as  an  authoritative  work. 
But  I  find  it,  in  certain  respects,  quite  unsatisfac- 
tory." 

I  sat  right  up  in  my  chair  and  stared  at  him. 
He  continued,  rather  apologetically  — 

"Of  course,  I  am  an  utter  amateur  in  these  mat- 
ters, Dr.  Eckhart.  But  it  is  disturbing  to  me  to 
find  this  supposed  authority  referring  to  the  twelve 

329 


His  as  giving  the  twelve  equal  semitones  of  the 
octave.  Why,  that  is  Van  Haalst's  old  error.  I 
know  better  than  that  myself.  I  have  sounded 
the  His  in  the  Confucian  temple,  and  they  give  out 
very  uneven  intervals,  ranging  over  an  octave  and 
a  half,  at  least." 

I  jumped  to  my  feet  and  waved  my  cigar  at 
him.  And  my  voice  rang  out  shrilly.  I  could  n't 
help  this ;  my  surprise  was  so  sudden  and  so  com- 
plete. 

"  An  octave  and  three  quarters,  very  nearly," 
I  cried.  "  From  about  our  a  to  the  /  of  the  sec- 
ond octave  above."  And  I  added,  "  von  Westfall 
is  a  faker  —  a  cheap  scoundrel  masquerading  in 
the  robes  of  the  scholar  —  a  man  who  rushes  his 
guesses  into  print  before  the  honestly  prepared 
work  can  be  completed.  He  is  not  an  authority. 
He  never  was.  It  is  I  who  am  the  authority.  I, 
and  perhaps  von  Stumbostel,  of  Berlin.  Ask 
Boag!  Ask  Ramel,  Fourmont,  de  Musseau! 
Ask  Sir  Frederick  Rhodes,  of  Cambridge !  "  And 
I  laughed. 

The  Minister  was  impressed.  I  will  say  that 
for  him.  He  got  up  too,  and  seized  my  hand. 

"  I  am  delighted,"  he  said.  "  You  confirm  my 
own  rough  conclusions.  Come  with  me.  I  have 
something  here  that  will  interest  you.  At  least, 

330 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I   should  be  glad  to  have  your  opinion  of   it." 

He  led  the  way  into  a  small  room  across  the 
hall,  unlocking  the  door  with  a  key  from  his 
pocket.  I  followed  him  in.  He  raised  the  win- 
dow shades,  then  turned  with  a  gesture. 

There,  against  the  wall,  stood  an  object  the 
precise  like  of  which  I  had  never  expected  to  see 
outside  of  the  Imperial  palace  and  possibly  a  tem- 
ple or  two  at  Peking  or  Nanking. 

It  was  one  of  the  old  stone  chimes.  The  very 
first  glance  assured  me  that  it  was  authentic.  The 
stones  were  all  of  the  same  size,  shaped  roughly 
like  the  letter  L.  They  hung  in  a  double  row, 
in  a  carved  frame  of  wood,  each  separate  stone 
suspended  by  a  metal  ring  —  gold,  I  think  —  that 
pierced  the  stone  at  the  angle.  They  were  all  the 
same  size,  of  course,  for  the  difference  of  pitch 
is  accounted  for  by  the  varying  thickness  of  the 
stones.  I  counted  them ;  there  were  sixteen  —  the 
notes  of  the  twelve  lus,  and  the  first  four  notes  of 
the  grave  series. 

And  each  of  these  large  stones  was  a  perfect 
piece  of  green,  translucent  jade ! 

"The  Pien  Ch'ing!"  I  cried. 

He  bowed. 

I  stepped  forward  and  examined  the  stones. 
They  were  very  old;  hard  as  jade  is,  the  corners 

331 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

and  edges  were  worn  down  here  and  there.  I 
tapped  them  softly.  I  simply  could  not  believe 
my  eyes. 

The  Minister  handed  me  the  little  wooden  mal- 
let that  lay  at  the  base.  This  too  was  very  old, 
though  of  course  a  thing  of  this  week  as  com- 
pared with  the  stones.  My  mind  was  racing  back 
into  dim  periods  of  Chinese  history.  It  would  be 
interesting  to  know  where  those  jade  stones  have 
been  —  in  what  old  royal  palaces  of  Peking,  Nan- 
king, Hangchau,  Sian-fu  —  through  what  wars 
they  have  lain  buried  or  have  passed  from  one  con- 
quering hand  to  another  —  in  what  stately  cara- 
vans they  may  have  been  transported  across  a 
swarming,  prostrate  land.  From  their  appearance 
they  must  have  been  in  existence  long  before  the 
destructive  hand  of  the  old  Emperor  Che  Huang-ti 
was  raised  against  every  book  and  every  instru- 
ment of  art  or  music  in  the  land. 

I  struck  the  stones,  slowly,  one  after  the  other. 
But  first  I  said  — 
"  The  intervals  will  not  be  perfect." 
"  No,"  said  he,  "  for  the  stones  are  worn." 
I  struck  that  old  sixteen-note  scale  again  and 
again.     I  tested  the  close  intervals  of  the  middle 
section.     I  listened  with  my  delicate  aural  nerves 
strained  to  the  uttermost. 

332 


We  talked  excitedly.  I  fear  it  was  I  who  said 
the  most.  But  that  was  natural  enough.  For  I 
know  my  subject,  and  he  does  not.  I  told  him 
the  legend  that  thousands  of  years  ago  a  perfect 
stone  chime  was  found  in  a  pool,  and  that  it  has 
since  been  used  to  give  the  correct  pitch  to  all 
Chinese  instruments.  The  known  history  of  the 
twelve  His  gives  the  lie  to  this,  of  course;  but  the 
legend  is  quaint.  I  think  I  must  have  given  him 
also  a  rough  history  of  the  liis,  and  of  their  semi- 
mythical  origin  in  the  life  of  the  prehistoric  king 
who  measured  off  a  length  of  bamboo  tube  with 
millet  grains  and  produced  a  tone  by  sucking  air 
through  it,  and  then  got  his  complete  scale  by  cut- 
ting other  tubes  of  half  the  size,  a  quarter  the  size, 
and  so  on.  I  remember  giving  him  a  minute  ex- 
planation of  the  relation  of  our  piano  octave  and 
of  the  Chinese  octave  to  the  fixed  acoustic  laws; 
and  I  told  him  why  the  Chinese  octave  is  flat.  .  .  . 
It  got  dark  while  we  stood  there. 

Finally  we  returned  to  his  study. 

He  got  this  Pien  Ch'ing,  it  appears,  from  a 
Mandarin  shortly  after  the  revolution  of  1912. 
He  did  not  give  me  the  details,  and  of  course  I 
did  not  press  him;  though  it  would  mean  a  good 
deal  to  me  to  know  from  what  palace  they  were 
taken,  and  as  much  as  could  be  discovered  of  their 

333 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

history.  And,  for  a  wonder,  he  gave  me  no  idea 
at  all  of  their  cost  to  him.  Quite  apart  from  their 
historical  value,  the  jade  alone  —  sixteen  very 
large  pieces,  of  an  even  green  color  without  a 
streak  or  flaw  that  my  eye  could  detect  —  is  worth 
a  fortune  in  any  market  from  Peking  to  London. 

It  must  have  been  his  dinner-time. 

He  said : 

"  I  am  exceedingly  glad,  Dr.  Eckhart,  that  you 
approve  of  my  purchase.  I  had  to  use  my  own 
judgment,  you  see.  Now  let  me  ask  you  —  Is  not 
your  Foundation  establishing  a  museum  of  ancient 
musical  instruments?" 

"  Decidedly  we  are !  "  I  cried. 

My  pulse  was  racing  like  mad ;  and  I  know  my 
forehead  was  sweating,  for  every  few  minutes,  it 
seems  to  me,  I  was  wiping  my  spectacles.  Indeed, 
my  handkerchief  became  quite  useless  for  the  pur- 
pose, and  I  had  to  borrow  his. 

All  the  possibilities  of  this  most  unexpected  sit- 
uation were  dancing  in  my  mind  at  once.  What 
if  he  should  give  this  treasure  to  the  Foundation 
...  a  perfect  specimen  of  the  basic  musical  scale 
of  the  Eastern  World!  I  could  not  be  insensible 
to  the  fact  that  some  credit  would  attach  to  me, 
should  he  make  the  benefaction  through  me.  For 
this  sort  of  activity  is  precisely  the  sort  that  finan- 

334 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

cial  directors  are  peculiarly  fitted  to  understand. 
Scholarship  and  research  worry  them  a  little ;  they 
are  eager  for  what  they  call  "  results."  And  if 
any  man  in  the  entire  field  of  musical  research  has 
ever  produced  so  tangible  and  valuable  a  "  result  " 
as  this  ancient  and  perfect  Pien  Ch'ing,  I  have  yet 
to  learn  of  it. 

And  I  was  thinking  of  flattering  ways  in  which 
his  name  could  be  identified  with  the  gift.  For 
we  men  of  science  may  be  what  is  called  "  imprac- 
tical," but  we  early  learn  the  proper  methods  of 
managing  our  benefactors. 

He  went  on,  studying  me  with  his  eyes : 

"  You  think,  Dr.  Eckhart,  that  the  Foundation 
would  regard  these  stones  as  an  acceptable  gift?  " 

"  So  acceptable,"  said  I,  "  that  I  should  con- 
sider it  one  of  the  great  opportunities  of  my  life 
to  act  as  their  representative  in  the  transaction." 

"  Suppose  then,"  he  concluded,  "  you  write  me 
a  letter  embodying  a  request  for  the  gift,  and  sug- 
gesting the  best  method  of  arranging  the  matter." 

I  meant  to  return  to  the  hotel.  But  it  proved 
quite  impossible.  I  was  altogether  too  excited  for 
that.  Instead,  I  hailed  a  rickshaw  and  drove 
straight  for  the  little  hotel  near  the  German  glacis. 

I  rushed  up  to  Heloise's  room,  and  knocked. 
335 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

She  was  within,  eating  a  solitary  dinner  off  a 
tray. 

I  told  her  of  my  find.  I  did  n't  feel  like  sitting 
down,  but  walked  about  the  room  as  I  talked.  I 
described  the  stones  to  her.  I  imitated,  as  nearly 
as  I  could  with  my  strident  voice,  the  sound  of  the 
stones  —  singing  the  scale  for  her,  "  Poom !  — 
poom !  —  poom !  —  poom-m-m ! " 

Heloise  sipped  her  coffee,  and  followed  me  with 
her  eyes.  She  did  n't  smile  very  much.  To  be 
quite  candid,  I  don't  believe  she  is  much  interested 
in  Pien  Ch'ings.  Though  I  realize  now  that  I  did 
break  in  on  her  abruptly,  all  full  of  my  triumph, 
without  a  thought  as  to  what  her  mood  might  be. 

Come  to  think  of  it,  I  did  n't  even  ask  her  if 
she  got  her  traveler's  checks  all  right. 

I  went  away  rather  crestfallen.  She  suggested 
that  I  sit,  but  I  did  n't.  I  could  n't  adjust  myself, 
for  some  reason.  All  my  life  I  have  dreamed  of 
seeing  even  an  incomplete  Pien  Ch'ing.  It  was 
one  of  my  goals  in  this  journey.  And  I  don't  be- 
lieve I  am  altogether  to  be  blamed  if  the  sight  of 
a  perfect  one,  the  opportunity  to  tap  it  with  these 
very  hands  —  coupled  with  the  thought  that  I  am 
to  be  the  means  of  bringing  it  to  America  and 
placing  it  within  the  walls  of  the  institution  to 
which  I  am  devoting  these  best  years  of  my  life  — 

336 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  am  not  to  be  blamed  if  this  experience  has  stirred 
me  into  some  excitement.  It  does  n't  mean  that 
I  have  forgotten  any  of  the  other  things. 

Why,  von  Stumbostel  himself  may  have  to  come 
to  New  York  to  see  it! 

But  to-night  I  am  upset.  God  knows  I  don't 
want  to  disturb  Heloise !  God  knows  I  don't  want 
to  give  her  a  moment's  extra  unhappiness !  I 
would  gladly  bear  all  her  sorrows,  if  I  could. 

Hindmann  is  helping  me  draft  the  letter. 

When  I  told  him  about  it,  he  just  sat  back  in 
his  chair  and  grinned,  and  grinned,  and  grinned. 

I  think  he  knew  about  the  Pien  Ch'ing,  all  the 
time. 


337 


April  20th. 

HER  train  leaves  to-morrow  morning. 
This   morning,   before   my   breakfast,   I 
went  into  the  booth  to  call  her  up,  and  found  that 
she  was  at  the  telephone  trying  to  get  me. 

She  said: 

"  I  was  n't  very  nice  about  your  work,  yester- 
day, Anthony.  But  I  did  n't  quite  understand  at 
the  moment.  And  you  rushed  off  before  I  could 
think." 

I  protested.  I  told  her  how  I  have  been  blam- 
ing myself  for  that. 

"  But  you  are  wrong,  dear,"  she  said.  "  I  'm 
proud  and  happy  for  you.  I  shall  be  expecting 
a  great  deal  of  you,  Anthony,  when  I  am  away 
off  there  in  Paris." 

"  I  shall  expect  more  of  you,"  I  replied  dog- 
gedly. Then  I  broke  out  — "  I  want  to  see  you." 

"  I  know,"  she  breathed. 

"  But  we  must  n't,  Heloise.  It 's  only  one  day 
more.  Fortunately,  we  shall  both  be  busy." 

She  did  n't  reply  at  once.  I  thought  the  cen- 
tral operator  had  cut  us  off.  I  called,  "  Hello," 

338 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

two  or  three  times,  and  was  about  to  ring  for  cen- 
tral when  her  voice  floated  again  to  my  ear  — 

"  Yes,  Anthony,  I  'm  here.  It  is  fortunate,  of 
course.  .  .  .  You  '11  come  —  at  least  —  in  the 
morning  to  help  me  get  away?  " 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  "  I  '11  come  in  the  morning." 

That  was  all.     We  said  good-by  then. 

I  have  sent  over  a  Japanese  maid  to  help  with 
her  packing. 

For  myself,  I  have  followed  up  the  business  of 
the  stones  all  day.  I  feel  that  I  should  like  to  set- 
tle this  affair  before  she  goes,  I  want  her  to  know 
that  my  work  is  starting  so  wonderfully  well. 
And  doubtless  I  shall  hear  from  the  Minister  in 
the  morning,  the  first  thing.  He  has  no  reason 
to  delay.  The  suggestion  came  from  him,  not 
from  me. 

I  am  proposing  to  call  the  Pien  Ch'ing  by  his 
name.  There  are  a  few  other  perfect  or  nearly 
perfect  specimens  in  existence,  and  a  special  name 
is  desirable.  His  will  do  as  well  as  any  for  the 
purpose  of  identifying  ours. 

I   am  very   nervous   to-night.     Hindmann  ob- 
served it  before  I  was  fully  aware  of  it  myself. 
He  tried  to  make  me  drink  some  whisky.     But  I 
don't  see  what  good  that  would  do. 
*    These  last  few  days,  as  I  look  back  on  them, 

339 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

seem  quite  unreal.  I  walk  about.  I  eat.  I  even 
sleep.  I  talk  with  Hindmann  about  one  thing  and 
another,  naturally  enough.  I  laugh,  I  become 
heated,  angry.  I  even  think  intently  of  many 
workaday  things.  Why,  to-day  after  tiffin,  when 
Hindmann  made  his  curious  proposal  that  Heloise 
and  I  go  into  vaudeville  under  his  management, 
I  discussed  the  thing  quite  rationally  before  de- 
clining —  particularly  as  to  the  possibility  of  mak- 
ing her  gift  of  close-interval  singing  intelligible  to 
the  ordinary  audience.  .  .  .  And  yet,  nothing  is 
really  so.  Back  of  it  all  there  is  a  nervous  pres- 
sure, a  tension.  .  .  . 

Well,  it  is  all  over,  this  strange  drama.  It  has 
changed  me  vitally.  I  shall  never  again  be  the 
self-centered  —  no,  not  self-centered,  either  — 
wor£-centered  recluse  that  I  have  been.  Life  has 
seized  upon  me  and  whirled  me  into  its  main  cur- 
rent. I  have  felt  passion  and  jealousy.  I  have 
loved.  I  have  hated.  I  have  fought.  I  have 
held  in  my  arms  —  close,  close  —  the  one  woman 
whose  eyes  have  the  magic  power  to  unlock  my 
heart  and  flood  it  with  the  radiant  music  of  love. 

And  now  we  go  our  ways  —  because  it  is  life. 

I  had  her  large  trunk  conveyed  to  the  station  this 

afternoon.     To-morrow  morning  I  shall  call  for 

her.     We  shall  step  into  our  separate  rickshaws; 

340 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

quiet-seeming  folk;  I  a  thin  man  in  spectacles  and 
an  overcoat  and  a  soft  hat;  she  a  slim,  graceful 
woman,  wearing  a  simple  black  suit,  slightly  pale 
for  want  of  the  outdoor  air,  and  with  a  touch  of 
perplexity  and  mystery  in  her  shadowy  blue  eyes. 

We  shall  ride  to  the  East  Station.  I  will  see 
that  she  is  comfortably  settled  on  the  train;  and 
wish  her  a  not  too  unpleasant  journey,  and  stand 
there  in  the  station  until  the  train  shall  have  dis- 
appeared beyond  the  end  of  the  Chinese  city  wall. 

That  will  be  the  end. 


April  2 1 st.    Early. 

THE  letter  is  here  from  the  Minister.  He 
gives  us  the  Pien  Ch'ing  outright.  It  is  to 
bear  his  name,  and  to  be  kept  where  it  will  be  al- 
ways accessible  to  scholars  and  to  the  public.  He 
very  courteously  suggests  that  the  stones  be  packed 
under  my  personal  supervision. 

I  am  going  down  to  breakfast  now.  Then  I 
shall  cable  Harbury,  advising  him  of  the  benefac- 
tion. Then  for  Heloise,  and  the  train.  .  .  . 


342 


Same  date.     Night. 

I  CALLED  for  Heloise  at  a  quarter  past  nine 
this  morning,  and  sent  up  my  card. 

It  was  returned  to  me  in  a  few  minutes.  Hel- 
oise had  written  on  it  — "  Come  up." 

Her  door  was  ajar.  I  stepped  in.  Her  steamer 
trunk  and  hand  bags  were  piled  there,  ready  to  go. 

"  Be  ready  in  a  moment,  Anthony,"  she  said. 
Then,  "  You  were  coming  up,  were  n't  you?  " 

She  was  busy  doing  a  last  bit  of  sewing  on  her 
coat,  and  spoke  without  looking  up. 

"  No,"  said  I,  "  I  was  n't." 

She  worked  on  in  silence  for  a  moment.  Then 
she  said  — "  Do  we  have  to  go  right  on,  up  to  the 
last  minute,  Anthony,  being  so  dreadfully  casual?  " 

I  hardly  knew  how  to  answer  this.  It  had 
seemed  to  me  that  we  had  to  do  precisely  that.  I 
dropped  into  a  chair  by  the  bare  center  table,  and 
held  my  hat  in  my  two  hands. 

"  Oh,  don't  worry,  Anthony,"  she  went  on.  I 
had  never  heard  her  speak  in  just  that  tone.  It 
disturbed  me.  "  Don't  worry.  I  'm  going.  To 
Harbin  —  and  Moscow  —  and  Paris.  In  less 

343 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

than  an  hour  I  shall  be  gone.  But  it  did  seem  to 
me  that  we  could  say  good-by  up  here." 

She  went  right  on  sewing  until  the  little  task 
was  done.  Then  she  bent  over  and  bit  off  the 
thread  with  a  jerk  of  her  head.  She  put  the 
needle  in  her  shopping  bag;  then  pursed  her  lips 
and  studied  the  little  gold  watch  on  her  wrist. 

Finally  she  looked  up,  and  our  eyes  met. 

"  Anthony,"  she  said,  very  quietly,  "  what  if  I 
shouldn't  go?" 

I  got  up  and  walked  back  and  forth  between  the 
table  and  the  door. 

"  Oh,  Heloise,"  I  broke  out,  "  why  do  you  say 
this  now  ?  " 

"Why  not?"  said  she. 

"  Can't  you  see  that  our  judgment  is  worth 
nothing  now  —  nothing  at  all.  We  Ve  made  our 
plans." 

"  Do  you  want  me  to  go  ?  "  she  persisted,  her 
eyes  half  hidden  behind  drooping  lashes,  but  on 
me  every  instant. 

"Do  I  want  you  to  go?"  I  almost  mimicked 
her.  My  voice  was  rising,  and  she  got  up  and 
slipped  swiftly  past  me,  closing  the  door  and  lean- 
ing back  against  it,  still  watching  me.  "  Do  I 
want  to  give  up  the  most  wonderful  thing  in  my 
life,  and  turn  back,  all  alone  to  my  work  ?  "  I 

344 


Do  we  have  to  go  right  on,  up  to  the  last  minute, 
Anthony,  being  so  dreadfully  casual  ? " 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

choked.  "  You  know  better  than  to  ask  such  a 
question.  It  is  foolish.  You  must  not  say  such 
things  to  me.  I  can  not  bear  it." 

"  Then,"  said  she,  "  why  on  earth  are  we  doing 
it?" 

She  came  to  the  chair  on  the  other  side  of  the 
table  and  sank  into  it,  still  watching  me. 

"  You  are  afraid  of  happiness,"  she  said. 

"  No,  no  —  I  am  not !     It  is  not  that !  " 

"  But  Anthony,  I  can't  believe  that  you  are 
afraid  of  unhappiness.  I  know  you  too  well." 

"  I  am  not.     I  am  choosing  unhappiness." 

She  knit  her  brows.  "  Probably,"  she  said 
slowly  and  thoughtfully,  "  it  is  something  of  both." 

"No,"  I  answered,  "you  are  wrong.  You 
know  well  enough  what  it  is.  It  is  your  freedom. 
That  is  the  one  thing  I  will  not,  can  not  take." 

"  My  what?  "  she  queried,  with  a  curious,  faint 
smile. 

"  Your  freedom!"  I  cried,  standing  over  her, 
with  clenched  hands. 

"  But  Anthony,  I  am  not  free.  There  never 
was  a  woman  less  free  —  than  I  am  —  now  — 
this  minute ! " 

"  That  is  absurd,  Heloise." 

"  It  is  not  absurd.  Oh,  Anthony,  Anthony,  will 
you  ever  come  down  out  of  the  clouds!  Do  you 

347 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

'\ 

really  suppose  that  I  will  be  free  just  because  you 
say  so  —  off  there  in  Paris,  knowing  every  mo- 
ment of  the  day  and  night  that  nothing  on  earth 
but  your  generosity  keeps  me  alive  —  that  every 
step  of  my  growth  will  be  due  to  you  —  that  — " 

"  Stop,  dear !     You  must  not  — " 

" — that  I  am  not  even  paying  my  way?  Oh, 
Anthony,  bless  your  dear  heart,  sometimes,  in 
thinking  about  you,  I  laugh  —  and  sometimes  I 
cry.  Can't  you  see  that  I  shall  not  move  a  mile 
toward  Paris  of  my  own  desire,  that  I  go  only 
because  you  tell  me  to  —  yes,  because  you  order 
me  to?  Can't  you  see  that  this  has  been  your 
idea  all  along,  not  mine  —  that  you  have  made 
every  decision,  down  to  the  minutest  detail  of  my 
poor  life.  .  .  .  Freedom?  Why,  Anthony  dear, 
I  'm  a  million  miles  from  freedom  and  traveling 
the  other  way!  I  don't  want  that  kind  of  free- 
dom. I  want  to  work  with  you  —  right  by  your 
side.  I  want  to  earn  some  real  freedom,  the  right 
kind.  I  want  to  —  yes,  to  make  good  with  you, 
Anthony.  .  .  .  Oh,  I  've  tried  to  be  good.  I  've 
tried  to  accept  your  judgment  in  everything.  My 
life  is  yours  anyway,  so  there  was  no  harm  in  that. 
I  love  you  as  I  never  knew  a  woman  could  love 
a  man.  I  worship  you.  .  .  .  You  must  not  stop 
me,  Anthony !  —  Even  so,  I  would  give  you  up. 

348 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

If  it  was  best  for  you.  That  is  all  I  have  asked 
myself  —  What  would  be  best  for  you?  And 
then  you  've  ordered  me  about  so,  Anthony,  and 
what  on  earth  could  I  say.  I  had  to  plan  as  you 
told  me  to  plan.  I  ought  not  to  be  saying  this 
now.  I  ought  to  be  going  away,  very  quietly, 
saying  — *  Yes,  Anthony.  I  will  go,  Anthony.' 
But  now  you  tell  me  that  in  your  heart  you  want 
me  to  stay.  And  I  can  see  that  it  is  true.  I  know 
you  want  me.  .  .  .  And  yet,  Anthony,  you  have 
the  hardihood,  you  assume  the  wisdom,  to  decide 
for  us  both  —  squarely  against  the  dictates  of  both 
our  hearts.  You  assume  not  only  to  decide  for 
us  now' —  you  are  deciding  what  the  future  would 
be  if  we  should  stay  together.  And  that  is  — 
why,  that  is  silly,  Anthony.  There  never  was  a 
man  and  woman  who  needed  each  other  more  than 
you  and  I  need  each  other."  Her  voice  dropped, 
and  softened.  "  I  don't  think  a  man  and  woman 
ever  loved  more  wonderfully,  Anthony.  We 
are  n't  children.  We  have  suffered.  And  I  think 
we  know.  .  .  .  You  see,  dear,  I  have  come  to 
distrust  your  judgment  about  some  very  human 
things.  Every  marriage  is  a  risk.  People  seldom 
marry  who  know  each  other  as  you  and  I  do,  who 
have  tested  each  other.  .  .  .  Oh,  I  Ve  tried  so 
hard  to  accept  your  judgment.  I  kept  waking  up 

349 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

last  night,  and  it  all  raced  through  and  through 
my  head;  and  still  I  felt  I  must  do  as  you 
say.  .  .  ." 

My  world  was  falling  about  me. 

"But  your  work,  child,"  I  cried.  "All  that 
stands  just  as  it  stood  before,  when  we  —  well, 
when  I  —  made  the  plans.  The  problem  is  still 
there.  We  can't  escape  that,  not  even  by  the  easy 
process  of  following  our  hearts." 

She  had  dropped  her  eyes.     She  was  smiling. 

"  There  is  n't  any  problem,  Anthony,"  she  said. 

"  Oh,  come,  Heloise  — " 

"  There  isn't,  dear.  If  I  spend  these  next  two 
years  just  in  learning  by  heart  the  operas  that 
I  've  got  to  know,  they  will  be  years  very  well 
invested.  I  could  do  that  out  here  as  well  as  in 
Paris." 

"  But  you  are  begging  the  question,  dear.  It 
is  n't  just  that.  You  know  it  is  n't  just  that." 

"What  is  just  that?"  she  asked,  still  smiling. 

It  was  hard  to  answer  this  directly.  But  I  had 
to.  I  dropped  on  my  knees  beside  her.  I  gripped 
her  shoulders.  I  tried  to  make  her  look  at  me. 
For  it  would  not  do  for  us  to  go  all  to  pieces  — 
we  must  face  this  thing. 

"  Heloise,  dear  —  you  are  making  me  say  it, 
but  you  know  the  problem  is  there.  You  have 

350 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

not  forgotten  what  those  three  great  singers 
said?" 

"  No,"  she  murmured,  "  I  remember  well 
enough."  But  still  she  would  not  look  up. 

"  You  know  what  they  said  ...  the  art  of  the 
opera  singer  is  the  most  exacting  thing  in  the 
world.  There  is  no  place  in  it  for  a  husband,  a 
home  .  .  .  and  children,  dear.  For  these  things 
are  exacting,  too.  It  was  the  three  greatest  so- 
pranos in  the  world  who  said  that." 

"  Oh,  I  know  all  that,  Anthony," —  I  could  not 
make  her  lift  her  eyes, — "  but  people  are  so  differ- 
ent. There  is  n't  any  problem,  really.  There  are 
only  different  persons.  That 's  all,  Anthony.  I 
could  tell  you  of  three  other  great  singers  that 
have  husbands,  homes  and  splendid  families.  .  .  . 
Only  one  thing  bothers  me  —  they  all  happen  to 
be  contraltos.  Dt>  you  suppose  there  is  any  such 
difference  as  that  between  contraltos  and  so- 
pranos, Anthony?" 

Now  she  looked  up.  That  smile  was  still  hov- 
ering about  her  eyes  and  the  corners  of  her  mouth. 
But  when  I  drew  her  dear  head  against  my  shoul- 
der and  pressed  my  lips  to  her  forehead,  it  faded. 

I  kissed  her  eyes,  slowly,  one  after  the  other. 

Then  her  hand  slid  hesitatingly  upon  my  shoul- 
der, as  it  had  once  before.  Her  head  nestled  back 

351 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

in  the  hollow  of  my  arm.     I  bent  close.     Our 
lips  met. 

We  said  many  things.  It  hardly  matters  now 
what  they  were. 

Excepting  this.  She  held  my  face  in  her  two 
hands  and  looked  into  my  eyes. 

"  Dear,  dear  boy,"  she  said,  "  you  have  lived 
all  your  life  with  theories.  Don't  you  think  it  is 
time  you  lived  with  a  fact.  For  I  'm  afraid  that 's 
what  I  am  —  a  fact.  And  facts  are  stubborn 
things,  Anthony." 

But  then  she  worried  a  little.  "  You  must  n't 
let  me  sweep  you  off  your  feet,  Anthony.  We 
must  sit  up  and  think.  We  must  decide  this 
thing." 

So  she  sat  up  straight.  And  I  leaned  back,  still 
kneeling  beside  her. 

For  a  little  space  we  were  very  sober.  Then 
she  said  — 

"Anthony!  what  are  you  smiling  at?  What 
makes  you  look  like  that  ?  " 

It  was  a  moment  before  I  could  compose  my 
features.  She  had  folded  her  hands  in  her  lap. 
Her  eyes  followed  mine  to  the  watch  on  her  wrist 
as  I  said  — 

'  Your  train  left  the  East  Station  sixteen  min- 
utes ago." 

352 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

She  drew  her  under  lip  in  a  little  way  between 
her  teeth,  as  I  had  seen  her  do  so  many  times 
when  she  was  startled.  Then, 

"  Oh,  Anthony !  "  she  said,  laughing  a  little  — 
"  the  big  trunk  has  gone  with  it." 

We  shall  get  the  trunk  back  all  right.  It  was 
just  a  matter  of  telegraphing  Tientsin.  The  bag- 
gage master  here  attended  to  it  for  me. 

The  refunding  of  Heloise's  ticket  money  proves 
to  be  a  more  complicated  matter.  There  is  no 
Public-Service  Commission  to  direct  the  Trans- 
Siberian  in  such  matters  —  nothing  but  the  Rus- 
sian and  Chinese  Governments.  Hindmann 
thinks  that  they  may  be  willing  to  give  back  half 
of  it.  He  says  that  is  a  common  rule  among  the 
big  steamship  companies.  Half  the  railway  fare, 
that  is;  there  will  be  no  refunding  of  what  was 
paid  for  the  berth,  of  course.  Anyway,  Hind- 
mann has  taken  the  ticket  and  says  he  can  prob- 
ably get  something  done  within  the  week. 

For  myself,  I  find  it  difficult  to  take  this  mat- 
ter seriously.  I  could  cheerfully  let  the  money 
go.  But  Heloise,  I  can  see,  is  a  little  disturbed 
over  it. 

We  discussed  the  question  of  a  marriage,  this 
afternoon,  she  and  I.  We  both  want  some  sort 

353 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

of  ceremony.  Mainly,  I  suppose,  for  the  effect 
on  ourselves.  And  since  we  are  here,  with  noth- 
ing to  do  but  go  ahead  with  our  work  and  our 
lives,  neither  Heloise  nor  I  can  see  any  sound 
reason  for  delaying.  If  we  were  back  home,  or 
if  she  were  among  friends,  it  might  be  well  to 
wait.  Though  I  doubt  even  that.  It  would  be 
merely  a  conventional  observance,  and  would 
serve  no  healthy  purpose.  No,  our  job  now  is 
to  go  straight  ahead  with  the  life  that  we  are  to 
share.  And  we  may  as  well  be  about  it.  So  we 
shall  be  married,  quietly  and  soberly,  sometime 
within  the  next  few  days. 

I  had  thought  of  the  Consulate.  But  some 
telephoning  on  the  part  of  Hindmann  drew  out 
the  information  that  our  consular  and  diplomatic 
officials  are  not  permitted  to  solemnize  marriages, 
nor  to  advise  regarding  the  legality  of  the  ar- 
rangements. The  Consul-General  is  willing  to 
witness  the  ceremony  officially,  but  we  should  have 
to  go  down  to  Tientsin  for  that,  and  we  both  want 
to  be  married  here  in  Peking  if  it  is  possible. 

The  peculiar  complication  is,  of  course,  that 
China,  as  an  Oriental,  non-Christian  country,  does 
not  solemnize  marriages  in  any  way  that  is  recog- 
nized in  the  West.  If  we  were  in  a  European 
country  now,  all  that  would  be  necessary  would 
354 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

be  to  conform  to  local  customs.  But  international 
observances,  as  among  Western  peoples,  do  not 
hold  where  China  is  concerned. 

Finally  Hindmann  said, 

"  What 's  the  matter  with  a  missionary 
brother?" 

"  Why,  of  course !  "  replied  Heloise.  "  Are  n't 
we  stupid?  They  are  ministers.  And  I  don't 
think  it  matters  what  particular  place  they  happen 
to  be  in  when  they  say  the  words." 

Hindmann  is  inclined  to  think  that  we  had  best 
go  down  after  all  to  the  Tientsin  Consulate  and  be 
married  there,  either  by  a  missionary  or  by  a  min- 
ister of  one  of  the  Settlements.  "  There  's  sev- 
eral thousand  white  folks  there,"  said  he. 
"  Pretty  sure  to  be  some  preachers  among  'em. 
Then,  you  see,  the  Consul-General  will  give  you 
each  a  certificate,  and  besides  he  '11  have  the  mar- 
riage put  on  record  at  the  State  Department  at 
Washington.  That  way,  it  '11  hold  all  right,  I 
guess." 

Heloise  and  I  covertly  exchanged  glances.  We 
know  what  is  in  our  hearts.  Certificates!  . 


355 


On  the  Steamer,  "  Hsing  Mien," 

Yangtze  River.     May  1st. 

1  FOUND  this  volume  of  my  journal  to-day  at 
the  bottom  of  my  trunk.  I  do  not  under- 
stand why  I  wrote  it.  My  life  is  so  astonishingly 
different  now.  Yet  for  many  years  I  rarely 
missed  a  day.  In  the  earlier  volumes  —  left  in 
my  tin  trunk,  at  Peking,  with  my  other  books 
and  papers  —  each  little  step  of  the  laborious, 
day-by-day  work  that  has  so  slowly  brought  me 
to  my  present  mastery  of  my  subject,  is  care- 
fully noted  down.  I  rarely  noted  mere  moods, 
conversations,  personal  interests,  until  this  jour- 
ney to  the  East.  I  am  amazed,  in  turning  the 
leaves  of  this  latest  and  (I  think)  last  volume,  to 
observe  that  it  is  almost  wholly  personal.  But  I 
suppose  this  is  natural,  considering  the  extraordi- 
narily personal  nature  of  the  events  in  which  I 
have  played  so  curious  and,  in  the  outcome,  so 
wonderful  a  part. 

I  don't  think  I  shall  make  any  effort  to  keep 
it  up.  It  was  the  companion  of  my  solitary  years. 
There  is  no  longer  the  inclination  —  or  even  the 

356 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

time.  I  have  a  better  companion.  Why,  I 
hardly  realized,  until  this  afternoon,  that  it  has 
been  all  but  forgotten  for  ten  days.  Since  my 
eighteenth  birthday,  when  I  began  my  series  of 
journals  in  earnest,  I  have  never  before  neglected 
this  work  for  a  greater  space  than  three  days. 
Excepting,  of  course,  when  I  was  operated  upon, 
four  years  ago. 

As  regards  my  working  notes,  Heloise  insists 
on  keeping  those  herself.  She  has  discarded  the 
journal  method  as  cumbersome  and  difficult  to  in- 
dex. She  has  ordered  a  series  of  loose-leaf  blank 
books  from  Kelly  and  Walsh,  at  Shanghai. 
Meantime  she  is  keeping  all  my  memoranda  on 
cards. 

It  is  rather  a  surprise  to  me  that  I  can  permit 
her  to  rearrange  my  habits  of  work  in  this  fash- 
ion. But  I  do  permit  it.  I  am  even  forced  to 
admit  that  she  is  already  an  invaluable  assist- 
ant. 

She  says  that  she  wants  to  help  all  she  can  in 
my  work  now,  while  it  is  possible.  Later  there 
will  be  complicatipns  of  one  sort  or  the  other. 
She  is  right  at  her  own  work,  too;  but  that,  she 
says,  is  fun.  And  she  practices  every  day.  I 
observe  her,  from  hour  to  hour  and  day  to  day, 
in  a  curious  sort  of  wonder.  It  will  be  some  time, 
357 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  see,  before  I  shall  really  grow  to  accept  it  all  as 
fact.  I  am  living  in  a  miracle. 

This  steamer  is  a  large,  modern  affair,  with  elec- 
tric lights  and  a  very  fair  table.  We  are  going 
down  to  Nanking  —  three  days  from  Hankow. 
We  came  to  Hankow  by  rail  from  Peking;  an  in- 
teresting journey,  and  not  uncomfortable,  barring 
the  dust. 

Nanking  has  been  recommended  to  me  as  a  cen- 
ter of  much  of  the  traditional  musical  culture  of 
China.  And  as  the  Yangtze  Valley,  they  say,  be- 
comes unbearably  hot  in  the  summer-time,  we 
thought  it  advisable  to  spend  a  few  weeks  there 
before  the  worst  of  the  heat  sets  in.  Also,  there 
is  some  talk  that  another  revolution  may  break 
out  there,  later  on.  From  there  we  go  on  to 
Shanghai  for  a  period  of  study;  then,  doubtless, 
back  to  Peking  and  Tientsin. 

The  great  Yangtze  proves  rather  disappointing, 
scenically.  So  far,  the  banks  have  been  flat  and 
muddy  most  of  the  way.  And  the  water  is  yel- 
low when  it  is  not  a  muddy  gray. 

But  the  junks  are  interesting,  with  their  high 
timbered  sterns  and  the  brown  sails  with  bamboo 
ribs.  Too,  I  rather  like  the  water  buffalo  that 
stand  knee  deep  near  the  banks  and  sullenly  watch 
us  as  we  plow  majestically  by.  And  the  river 
358 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

ports,  of  course,  are  quite  fascinating.  The  wa- 
ter beggars  paddle  out  in  sampans  and  large  round 
tubs,  and  hold  up  baskets  on  the  ends  of  bamboo 
poles  in  which  we  of  the  regal  upper  deck  are  sup- 
posed to  deposit  brass  cash  and  small  silver. 

I  have  been  writing  this  on  the  long  table  in  the 
room  that  is  at  once  social  hall  and  dining-room 
for  the  first  cabin  passengers.  Chinese  "  boys  " 
slip  about  in  their  soft  shoes.  At  the  farther  end 
of  the  table  the  second  engineer  —  a  Scotchman, 
of  course  —  is  playing  Sousa  records  on  the  talk- 
ing machine  that  is  his  chiefest  treasure  in  this 
lonely  land.  He  is  entertaining  a  bearded  Eng- 
lish globe-trotter  and  an  American  military  man. 
I  can't  recall  the  name  of  this  latter,  though  we 
met  at  the  Legation  in  Peking.  We  always  bow. 

Heloise  has  just  come  from  our  stateroom. 
She  has  taken  the  seat  opposite,  and  is  watching 
me  as  I  write.  She  is  smiling  a  little.  I  know 
this,  though  I  will  not  look  up.  Not  until  I  finish. 
For  once  my  eyes  rest  on  hers,  my  pen  will  stop. 

I  know  what  she  wants.  It  is  near  the  sunset 
hour.  She  likes  me  to  be  out  on  deck  with  her 
then,  and  at  moonrise.  She  feels  these  wonders 
in  some  deep  corner  of  her  nature.  She  always 
becomes  very  silent,  and  presses  close  against  my 
arm. 

359 


ANTHONY  THE  ABSOLUTE 

I  can  feel  her  eyes  on  me.  I  shall  not  be  able 
to  hold  out  much  longer.  I  want  to  laugh,  and 
you  can  not  write  to  any  purpose  when  you  are 
laughing.  ... 

I  think  I  shall  not  write  any  more. 


THE    END 


360 


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